Sunday, November 30, 2014

The most human human.. Cant stop reading & thinking.. (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

-see what happens.. I am only to page 69.. But at every chance my mind defaults to comparisons, differences.  /note of my employment of the word default..

Worth repeating: nothing provides greater analogies; and nothing has ever deepened my appreciation more for what it means to be human

-than comparing us to computers.. And programs..

There are so many overlaps and unique distinctions!   -yesterday, as I danced and sang my way to work while driving..

I re-thought about..  How, yes.. You can program a computer to play music.. To mix genres and create new music; to categorize music; invent music; to determine a humans taste in music..  On and on.. But! What you cannot program a computer to do is

Respond! to music...   Be moved by, emotionally sensitive to, lyrics, melodies, beats..   To like; dislike; favor; be turned on by; get tired/bored with...

You can program in lyrics:  ..be a fool for love...   But to -appreciate- those lyrics.. First you must -experience-

Love.  And stupidity.  

-praise God?...    Anyway..  Then I started reading about decision-making..

And I could write another 50 pages regarding my experiences/observations on that topic..

But I will just bullet point.. How... All you need to do is give a person a choice between like items..  Where the differences are minute; and once the choice is made; no one will know or care what the original comparisons were..

And watch..  

I will close with this:  there is a piece of wall art, a painting of a bird, hanging in a house somewhere here in the bay area..

If you were to visit said house..  How much attention would you pay to the size and shape of the birds left eye? As you visited over a cup of coffee?

-because there were two pictures of the bird..  Exactly alike actually..

But I watched one customer deliberate and think and wonder and compare and envision and change her mind several times before picking one over the other...

And I am a new creature.. With an all together different approach and speed when it comes to decision making as a direct result of working at a photography studio..

To observe people comparing pictures of themselves with other pictures of themselves...

Changed me forever.

-I'm compelled to write this author.. 

-you can program a computer to write; but feel compelled?  And then honor or override that feeling?

Friday, November 28, 2014

"That's my girl!" (Taryn!).. Bragging writes for (me!) -writeousmom

There is a sometimes unspoken, and sometimes verbalized culturally dictated rule here in pleasanton, california

That one "should not brag too much about their own children."

-like, who made up that stupid rule i'd like not to know..

I will spare you my dissertation on the topic, -but really?!  

It is okay for us to plant lies;  foster, perpetuate and spread insecurities every single frickin' day via mass media in the name of industry, profit and capitalism..

But not okay to speak the truth?!  To give credit where credit is due?!

Well, if you are sensitive to, or offended in any way when a proud parent starts talking about their childs accomplishments..

Stop reading write about.....

Here:

-because i remember the first time i saw it...  

A report card with straight A's.  -never in my family had anyone ever..   Certainly I never even came close!   I wont confess how long i stared at and admired it..  Re-glanced at it on frequent occasions

I said with a smile to my daughter, "i always did wonder what one of those looked like..

IT IS A BEAUTFUL SIGHT TO BEHOLD!".    -very pretty, all lined up in a row like that..  All CAPS, some with +'s too

A
A+
A
A+
A
A

" A is for awesome!" I tell her...  "And amazing!"

-the thing about it is..  She is entirely self-motivated.. Straight A's in our family is not something that was demanded; expected.. But rather only hoped for..    And i know, my exhusband, her father, created additional incentives..  Financial/material..

But i think and believe, in the absence of any such extra incentive, she would perform to the same internalized high standard, exactly because  -it is internalized.

We.. Me, and her father.. Cannot take any credit..  Maybe for loving, and encouraging, yes..  But thats about it.

I marvel.. Because  -well when I look at what it really takes to achieve such a thing..

The desire. The self-discipline. The devotion of time and energy. The focus!

Especially in a world full of chronic and multiple distractions!  It is my opinion that today's straight A's are much more impressive and valuable than previous generations because the obstacles are greater..

..the way one must prioritize..  Know and understand each unique teacher; their individual criteria..    How to take notes; study..

Prepare for and pass tests..

All this while simultaneously navigating -life.   High school life.. Which all parents, adults are aware yields its own set of complicated, confusing, crazy social circumstances..

And yet..  She's done it!   -her freshmen year, sophomore year, junior year, and into her senior year..    "Awesome! Amazing!"

With great consistency.

Now.. As well as I remember seeing that first straight A report card and marveling at its beauty..

I also remember her first B.    I said with a smile to her,

I said, "you know what that stands for don't you..

B-oyfriend."

Who among us has not been distracted? Slightly thrown off course..

-but she is living AND learning..

LIVING. & LEARNING.

And her recovery was equally impressive.  My sense is that she will always rebound  -under any circumstance, back to this internalized high standard..

She has -herself-  created great study habits..

I am very proud of her!  But its not just the grades.. Its the young woman she has become..  A great listener; observer; growing in good judgement of what is write and wrong in this world..

She is "chill" -as the colloquial saying goes; not a drama queen. She has and is a good friend, she is creative, innovative, curious, intelligent, compassionate, self-aware, funny and kind and thoughtful..  -she is real.. She is humble..   She is loving..

She is the light of my world!  And to top it all off

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!    I am almost done bragging, -promise..

But,

And it is against my nature really to place emphasis on physical appearance..

But it cannot be denied..  SHE IS A TRUE BEAUTY..

Stunning to my eyes..

-to get to witness her from birth.. Into this beautiful young woman,

Living, learning, discovering who she is and has the potential to become..

I count it among my greatest blessings..

"Thank You!" Jesus

Amen!

The Heart Seen... On Thanksgiving at (my mom's!)

..i spy a couple darling hearts.. And want to say a big "THANK YOU!" to my beautiful mom, her husband, my ex-husband..  for another awesome thanksgiving meal and great visit...

-very blessed; sent details in prayer...  "..and for my family, friends, -their blessings; spiritual mentors -their teachings,  job, co-worker friends, creative projects and inspiration, new friends and opportunities, great books and movies, health, climate, landscape..

Its a very long list!   " thank you! Jesus!".  Amen

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

"NO Marriage.. That IS Heaven!". -reads (me!) Sandra, tvgp

..says so write in the bible...  Luke 20: 34-36.    -I knew it all along...

"Thank you!" Jesus...   Hallelujah! & Amen!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Heart Seen.. By (me!) Auntie sandy

I've seen a few in the peanut butter.. But look.. This time in the jelly when I was making my niece a PB&J sandwich... /for breakfast.. Xoxo

Monday, November 24, 2014

"I was write!" (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

Even though I was without doubt.. Upon seeing the pottery again I did two things: 1. Checked the SKU, and it had in fact entered the store before I started working there, but 2. I double-checked with laura about when she purchased it, and she said it was probably 3 years ago.  I've only been there a year and  half..

So yes..  I was write.  -I had never seen that particular piece of pottery before. I knew my hands had not touched, my eyes had not seen..

And so, me being me, I just have to be fascinated with that for a few minutes..

What my brain is and is not remembering; and my ability to observe/assess what it is and is not observing

Again..  I am not required to remember product; I have absolutely no need to remember; I certainly make no effort..

Its just happening automatically; effortlessly.

And yet.. To retain and repeat a 7 digit number

When it is required; needed.. And I do try!

   -quiet again please.. Another song pushing through..

"...  What's going on in that beautiful mind...

I'm on your magical, mystery ride..."

***

Oh! To unlock the vault of our memory banks...  See what is; what was; what's not in there...

When I finally get to sit down with Malcolm gladwell, I'd like..

"Malcolm.. May I introduce you to Eric kandel..

Sunday, November 23, 2014

"Woe to you!". As seen by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-religious, secular, spiritual, atheist..  -no matter.

Judge this:

Person A has a weakness (weakness is an addiction.. Pick any addiction)

Person B -KNOWS- person A's addiction..    And CHOOSES to exploit it; sets person A up to fail.

Let me use a silly but concrete example:  Adam is trying to stay away from chips.  No longer keeps them in his house; never buys them at the grocery store.

Brian invites Adam over and sits him at a table where there is, guess what

A big bowl of chips.

***

Which is worse:

If you were to judge for yourself.. Absent any bible; absent any religion..

***

Now,  I'm going to bring in the bible

Allow the word sin to be a synonym for weakness

And then take careful note of the variety of passages which, in one form or another, say in essence:

"Woe to those of you who cause other people to stumble!"

***

Every human being is a creation with both strengths and weaknesses; no exceptions to this rule; only variety in type and number of weaknesses and gifts of strengths

Why is this true?

Human beings are created with the ability to hide intentions and motivations..

Why is this true?

***

Human beings were not created to obey commands like robots; but with free will

Why is this true?

***

I have come to believe in a God of ultimate justice.  -and we make efforts here on earth; no doubt about it

We instinctively sort it out..

But I have come to believe, to recognize, -how often we fail.

And have come to believe God never does.

Ultimate justice takes place

On the other side.

So I arrive then at the same place the bible mentions.. At the same place written about long ago and far away..

I do not worry. The same God who created,

has already conquered this world.

God can use your weaknesses to the worlds advantage..

I believe God uses weakness to REVEAL the hearts, motivations, intentions of others..

And let me end here at the start:

"Woe to you! who exploit and consciously cause anyone to stumble.."

In Jesus name, -amen.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Can these dots be connected.. Wonders (me!) Sandra, tvgp

So a few days ago i told my co-worker friend.. "I had a dream last night.. And in it.. You were dancing with bill gates.."

Co-worker friend.. "Are you trying to tell me i might be coming into some money or what?"

-and guess what.. "She did!"  -she just came into some unexpected money.    Told me im spookin' her out a bit..   And i said with a smile

"Thats not all.. I think there might be more.."

Friday, November 21, 2014

"We win!" Says (me!) To (my daughter!)

So, I bought Cheryl strayed's book wild for my daughter..  And towne center books offer gift wrap, so..

Proudly positioned it as a surprise gift at the head of her bed..

She is quite busy so I'm not actually sure when the opportunity to read will present itself.. But..  I said,

With a smile, I said, "I know its not a contest.. I know its not.

But! If it were...   " WE WIN!".    We being women.

I did not want to give anything away.. So stopped there.

-but for those of us who have read it..

I mean come on..  PLUS she had to deal with having a menstrual cycle and PLUS in the company of more than one man, she must deal with potentially being prey in a way that they do not..

If two people finish at the same time and its a tie..let's say

But one has great shoes and the other barefoot..

Its not really a tie then; is it.

Person i would love to meet in person (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Long list actually but at the top.. Malcolm gladwell and then.. Whoever is responsible for this awesome slogan:  "sweetest comeback in the history of ever!".  -God I love that...   

I've never accepted advertisements on my blog; never allowed it to be used that way..

Although I have promoted sometimes for free because I've had a genuine good experience with a given product or place, etc.

Interruption! Quiet please! I hear a song playing in my head..

Yes!  I would like to dedicate this song to Hostess..

".. But you are the only exception..."

I would allow hostess to advertise ..  And only those few that have read me thoroughly would appreciate why...

In Jesus name,  -amen

Last one.. (For a while..) promises (me!) Sandra, tvgp

(Can a computer make and keep or break a promise?)

***

Computers with an ability to exercise motives and intentions; lie and/or tell truths.. Forgive.. Grow..

***

Person a:  "I would never do (variable).. "

Person b: "I believe you."

/person b sees video tape evidence contrary to person a's testimony..

Person a:  "I lied.  -it was to protect you"

Person b: "I forgive you."

Person a lies in bed at night and silently acknowledges

It was not to protect you.. It was to protect me; my own reputation..
But I knew you would believe me..  And there is no video which can capture and prove that...

Luke 12:4.. For (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Oh, you know I watch the news only very selectively when I watch it at all...   And when I see images of evil people ending the physical human lives of good people..  I find this passage comforting and reassuring..

Dear A.I team..  That would sure be somethin' wouldn't it?   To create a computer which can experience comfort and reassurance through what it   -does not know; but believes...

We are spirit inside physical bodies.  It has been said many times by many sages.. And I agree wholeheartedly:

We are not humans having a spiritual experience; we are spirits having a human experience.

Victory over death has already been accomplished for the family of believers...

In Jesus name, amen.

Dear A.I. team... From (me!) Sandra, tvgp

That would sure be somethin' wouldn't it...

To create a computer that is AWARE  whether or not it KNOWS something...  And then can consciously choose whether to ignore or honor...

A computer which can distinguish between write and wrong..

"... But at the time, I did not know it was wrong..."

Now you know..

Thursday, November 20, 2014

"And" mosaic by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Sometimes customers will hold up two objects for an extended amount of time.. "I'm not sure whether I should get this one? Or this one?"

I say.."I have a philosophy about that..".  And wait for them to inquire..and then I say,

"If you get stuck too long between either and or.. Go straight to AND"

-this always gets a smile, and sometimes results in two sales instead of one.

***

Had a customer in recently who used to work at day art studio in downtown pleasanton. I loved that place.  I miss that place..

But.. I made this tiny vase there..  And consider it a high compliment when people think the paper is glass. 

-getting ready to do some more wine bottles..  

Objects of my desire ..by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I can't stop being fascinated with how my mind does /and doesn't

Work.   What things I can and what things I struggle to remember.

Always observing.. My own my mind.... (Can a computer be fascinated with how its mind works?)

I.e,  numbers are always slippery. In the park that is my mind..  Numbers prefer the slide..   Letters and objects head for the Velcro wall..

In order to ring up an item in the register I must enter a SKU.  /I have forgotten what that stands for.. But.. It is usually a 6 to 7 digit number..  Made easier to remember sometimes because it often correlates with a date

9137610 for example.. Sept of 2013.. Then the balance of the numbers have to do with a product genre..

Anyway.. Numbers.. They love the slide.  So on more than one occasion I have needed to remember a SKU during my walk from the back of the store to the front.. So I'll repeat it out loud, softly, over and over on my way to the register..

"9137610, 9137610..."

And inevitably! I will get stopped by a customer en route

"Do you have any 14" dark blue candles"

And I know in that very instant.. My numbers are gone.  So, I help the customer.. Go back to re-remember the SKU.. And on my smart days I just write it down..

But! In great contrast to that...  Without ANY effort at all.. I completely remember -objects.

My eyes have taken in literally thousands of unique items.. Pottery, pictures, knick knacks of a wide variety of shapes, colors, sizes..

I was in a home, -a very beautiful home, recently, and the owner showed me a piece of pottery purchased at the store..

I KNEW instantly.. KNEW.. Not guessing/wondering.. That that particular piece of pottery had never crossed my path.. My eyes or hands had never touched it. It had obviously been purchased before i started working there; or in a very rare and unlikely event, it was merchandised and sold in one store while i was working at the other or even more unlikely but not impossible.. Was processed, merchandised and sold in between my shifts..

But i can observe that about my mind.. Without any effort, without -trying- to..  I am in fact remembering the lovely objects i touch and merchandise on the shelves..

I wont necessarily remember when it came in the store, how long it was there, or who bought it..

But i do remember "it"

I believe (can a computer believe?)  if 12 people who purchased objects from me.. Even if over a year ago..brought them back in..

And 1 of the 12 was not really an object I personally merchandised and sold..

I would easily, quickly, know write away which was which.

- I pay close attention when people tell me they are 'numbers' people.. Or NOT numbers people..

I wonder if its similar to being write or left handed..

Numbers vs letters vs objects..   Predisposed

I sure think so...

(Can a computer do that? Observe its own mind? Observe its strengths and weaknesses; contemplate? Wonder? Know vs. Guess.. And know when it knows.. Vs. Know when its guessing..)

We are a masterpiece if there ever was one...

In Jesus name, -amen.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Genesis 9:13... Beautiful to (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Dangerous reading for someone like (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-please! I am only to page 17 and already I am filled with the desire to (can a computer "desire?")  write 20 pages worth of my thoughts..

Because I have in fact spent a great deal of time (can a computer appreciate time the way a human mortal...)  thinking on this very topic..   The distinctions between computers and humans..

Computers, in my opinion (can computers have opinions?) Are the single best thing in the whole world!  when It comes to needing an analogy for human behavior..

Nothing lends itself better; nothing covers more ground.

And nothing has helped me to better appreciate  (can computers appreciate anything?) our complexities than comparing us to..   

Humans ARE God's masterpiece..

And anyone.. The greatest artificial intelligence team in this universe..

Anyone who experiments in this area, I trust (can computers trust?)

I trust ends up with a very high awe factor for God's creation..

(Can computers experience awe?)

-his thoughts are higher than our thoughts..  (Can a computer have a "higher" thought?)

-his ways are higher than our ways..   (Can a computer acknowledge a higher way?)

.. Oh! I could go on and on.. It all leads me to WOW!

I want to revisit a prior blog..  Yes.. You can program one computer to fix and trouble-repair another computer if and when it breaks down..

But you cannot program the computer to -care.

You can program a computer to -mimic

Mimic behavior, vocabulary, gestures, etc.

But you cannot program one computer to experience caring for or about another computer..

Try your hearts out..    /she says with a smile..

(Can a computer "try its heart out?")

More later..  Must get ready for work..

Cant remember what i tried to help myself remember (me!) Sandra, tvgp

So,

I was cleaning out my purse, which my children affectionately call my bowling bag...

And mixed in with the ATM receipts, foil wrappers from gum.. Half candy bars and whatnot..

I find a little note I wrote for myself..

Apparently yesterday I was suppose to..  What? 

These initials mean nothing to me..  J.J.?

I just should no longer abbreviate..  That's the take away..

And may I apologize..  If it was really important I suppose I'll get a call..

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

"What time does it say?" Asks (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Monday, November 17, 2014

2014 word of the year by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

FRICKIN'

-that is my vote.  But i couldnt frickin' type it on the dictionary.com website because the Frickin' advertisement pop-ups blocked the window.

"And if I have to come up with one more Frickin' username and password, I'm gonna lose my Frickin' mind!"

I love this word!  I hear people use it all the time..  Always from one form of frustration or another..

And that encapsulates 2014..  For every so called Frickin' technological advance..

A new set of frickin frustrations..   Its a Frickin non-stop obstacle course..

I'm Frickin' tired of it!   And so are all of my Frickin' friends..

***

I looked it up -that is, I typed it in the search bar at dictionary.com..

Its not in there?   Its been around forever..  How can it not be represented?

It is such an entertaining word! So popular..   The publics attempt to clean up their vocabulary while still expressing great frustration..

-in my most recent use..  I said, "I can't fuckin' beleive it!"

And then.. "Oops, sorry Jesus..   /sign of the cross..

I mean " Frickin.  I just can't Frickin' believe it.."

Amen.

Funniest thing of late.. To (me!) Sandra, tvgp

My niece:  "(childs name here) got in trouble and had to do paper math!"

(Me!)/auntie sandy: "he had to do paper math?  What does that mean? -paper math..

Niece: " he couldnt use the computer!"

Auntie sandy:  "that is considered a punishment now?! Having to write on paper with a pencil?  That is hilarious..."

So be warned all you undisciplined children..   (Waving a piece of paper in one hand, holding a pencil in the other)  or you'll get this...

-slam paper/pencil on desk..



Correction.. From (me!) Sandra, tvgp

That is not accurate, what I wrote previously; the gospels: Matthew, mark, Luke, john; each eye-witness testimonies to a period of Jesus life on earth.

Matthew was a disciple; yes.
Mark was not; he records peter's stories.
Luke interviews people who had first-hand accounts of Jesus.
John was himself a disciple; not to be confused w/john the baptist..

John the baptist's life story seems to lie in contrast to everything ive learned and heard preached.. And i need to save that hard lesson for a future time.

In Jesus name, -amen.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

I spy a theme.. (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

The Heart Seen... In my peanut butter toast...

"HAPPIEST STRUGGLE!" For (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I had to tell my daughter; had to!
I had to tell my sister; had to!

Now I have to tell you-   I have to!  It is THE ONLY WAY anyone could ever KNOW.. If I tell you..

Because.. IT CANNOT BE SEEN by an outside eye..

Only communicated.

But I'm writing it down: November 15th 2014.   -a very! Significant day in my life

Why?    -because I had just recently written about guns.. And I was taking a brief trip down memory lane.. Just me, my memories, a cup of coffee in the morning; my quiet time..

And as I was recalling this and that I thought to myself..  
Which side of my head was it when he shoved the gun?

And tucked within the same second i had that thought was the EXCITING REVELATION that "i had to struggle to remember!"

It feels like a miracle!  -for decades if and when i recalled the experience i would literally re-experience the sensation of metal against my head..

I cannot get that sensation to return write now even if i try!

It has been ENTIRELY REMOVED.    -wow-

"Thank you!" Jesus!   Amen.

***

My daughter:  "what side was it?"

(Me!):  i just pointed to the write side of my temple.

Daughter. "Oh! -the same side as your tattoo."

ASK this question.. For (me!) Sandra, tvgp

And so I have admitted before.. That not until I was an adult.. And not until after much bible reading and many sundays in church

-as a pretty good listener I must add..

I mean I would describe myself as a better than average reader and better than average listener..

And still, I had no idea until I was directly told, that the gospels;

Matthew, mark, Luke and john

Are each eyewitness testimonies to a period in Jesus life on earth

Each told from their personal perspective.  So.. You can read some similarities and some unique perspectives..

This tripled my interest in reading.. In comparing and contrasting their individual testimonies/stories/MEMORIES..

And recently I checked in with my son and nephew..  Both attending church on a semi-regular basis; both in youth groups.. 

"Did you know matthew, mark, Luke and john..

The gospels..  Did you know they are each sharing their own memories about seeing Jesus..  Sometimes seeing the same thing but from different perspectives.."

And neither one of them knew that until I told them directly.

-this is the way the gospels should be introduced and taught:

Compare and contrast.

In Jesus name, -amen.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Public "thank you!" To (catherine!) From (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-she's done it again!  Such a huge talent for hospitality and party-throwing.. "Thank you!" Beautiful friend..  Loved every minute.. The food, wine, great company of your wonderful friends, spectacular variety of cookies.. And the awards!   Very fun!   -great kick off to the holiday season.. Much love & gratitude..  Xoxo

The Heart Seen... By (squidmann!)

Compliments of their cat Celine..

Friday, November 14, 2014

GUN & HUSBAND in the same sentence.. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

There is something so potentially entertaining about that; gun & husband..

How they wind up in the same sentence this morning is because.. The term of endearment I finally landed on for my new special someone is; "husband.".   Although I also use the traditional, too common, "baby".  "Honey"  "darling".  " sexy" etc.

Anyway.. As previously mentioned, he is a retired police officer, and on one of our dates I asked him if he would please teach me how to shoot a gun.. Take me to the range..

Actually.. Would he please Re-teach me how to use a gun. Because I had learned before.

It dawns on me here, as it dawned on me then:  I have landed in cement on my opinions for all the hot topics of the day; gay writes, pro-choice; etc..   Except on the issue of gun control.  I currently have no stance

I only have the desire to re-learn how to operate one; to see how good I am, or could be with practice, at hitting a target.  I am attracted to it as a sport; form of recreation..

And I'm sure I need to know also if I'm as healed as I think I am.

I tell you, what I told my husband.. Who, by the way, based on our meeting so long ago, and based on his career

Is someone I feel very free to talk to AND! Who I know has a better understanding of what Ive been through than anyone else I've ever been intimate with..

"My history with guns in a nutshell...

-first experience, Ohio, with my uncle.. I was a teen? Pre-teen?  And got to shoot soda cans off of tree stumps. FUN! Exciting! A little scary..  I can recall now, the sensation of the gun (type? Name?) Jamming in my shoulder when I pulled the trigger, and the heat/sting of  -shrapnel (not sure if that's what it called.. Some tiny thing that shot out from the side of the gun) but what I mostly remember is standing very still, focused, looking through the little slots on top of the gun that needed to be perfectly in line with the soda can in the distance. Aiming.   And then learning to adjust my aim so that it could accommodate the bit of movement that happened when I pulled the trigger.   My memory is that I was very good at this.  And my memory is that it was very fun.

But it was just a family vacation and when we came back to california there were never any guns; never any recreational gun shooting activities.

My next experiences with guns would be quite different.   -having one held near my head during a bank robbery

And then having one cocked and at my temple before and after being kidnapped and raped.

-my next experience (and I would be very grateful for sue-sue to share her memories here again..) But my next experience was purchasing a gun for self-protection and learning how to shoot to save my life; or the life of someone I love.

I have only vague memories now of what type gun? How much it cost? What was required of me paperwork wise, only vague memories of going to the range with sue-sue for target practice..

What I still have very powerful memories of is what a counter productive and horrific effect this actually resulted in, in my life.

Living alone with a gun for self-protection

More accurately.  Living with a severe case of undiagnosed PTSD and being alone and having a gun I might at any time have to use for self-protection.

Here is the best distinction between people with PTSD and people without. Are you ready?  Re-read the paragraph above and remove the word might and insert WILL.

I had a severe case of PTSD, i was alone and i had a gun i would have to use.. How?

-well, if he enters from this door.. I will need to do this..

-if he enters from that door.. I will need to do this..

-if he breaks in from that window i will need to do this..

-if he's hiding over there i will need to do this..

-if he's behind me..

-if he's to my left..

On and on and on and on.. My brain would not stop. It was exhausting. I lived with a paranoia and hypervigilance of potentially fatal consequences.

And so one day i decided to just get rid of the gun.  I was too nervous to be of any actual value with it.  The chances he would find it first, or use it against me were much higher than the chance i would actually be able to defend myself..

And in my memory.. Once i got rid of the gun, a portion of the paranoia and chronic 'what if' scenarios went with it..

What i did with it? I dont remember.. Pawn shop? Gave it away to a friend? Sold it? Threw it away? 

As life moved me forward.. And true to this day, i have often and do now, have neighbors with guns.. Neighbors who keep a close eye out.. Who i feel very appreciated of and thankful for..

But what i was telling my husband is this.. "I wanna go learn how to shoot a gun again..!..  I think i might be good at it... Im ready!"

And i would very much like for my children to have this experience also.  -family fun if you will..

Here is the lesson from my past experience  and current perspective.

DO NOT teach a person with severe, or even mild PTSD how to shoot a gun.  -bad timing.

The time to learn and practice is when you are healthy and wise.

In Jesus name..   For saving my life; for helping me heal; for my upcoming lessons; for my husband..    Amen

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Public "thank you!" To ricks picks team from (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I have expressed my gratitude personally.. The reason I post this is because it really hit me during our recent staff dinner..  What a beautiful blend..  Of nationalities; ethnicities; faith systems

We are a very diverse team

But highly compatible and everyone with a strong work ethic.

A micro version of what I know is possible for the whole world:

Coexist; in peace.

How is this accomplished?  If it can happen here, it can happen there...

In Jesus name, -amen

What can i say? (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

I am near 50 years old.
I have never received silicone or collagen.
I have short hair; thick thighs.
I was not wearing cute new clothes; had on very little make-up; and my only jewelry was my 3 favorite necklaces.
My nails were not painted..
And if he could see my feet!  Chipped polish from a pedicure over half a year ago..

But he is not the only one who has said this to (me!)

"Is that a real tattoo?..   Very sexy"

-certainly sex appeal was .. Not the last thing on my mind when I got my ink; because that would suggest it was on my mind -somewhere

It was not on my mind AT ALL.

So,

What can I say?

"Thank you."

-amen.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

"Extraordinary!". To (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Oh! If there is any chance you can get yourself.. Your family, your friends down to the harrington art gallery at the firehouse art center to see this mosaic exhibit..  There are some stunning pieces..   It is my favorite art form.. Well, that and mixed media.. And so, to see them combined! Mixed media mosaics..    -i feel a new wine bottle coming on...

The Heart Seen.. In downtown pleasanton by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

On main street sidewalk.. Just as i was leaving towne center books..  -curious about the origins of this one.. Love the color, texture, size..

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Yes.. "Thank You!". From (me!) Too.. Sandra, tvgp

You know i believe in God's creative choreography..   Here, i pulled over to get this picture.. And josh.. He would not be in it.. Except his mcdonalds bag happen to fall apart and the food went everywhere.. So then i Helped him out a little.. And learned guess what?!

He had a grandparent that served and both his parents are in the airforce!   

To everyone that served; serves.. And the families..

God Bless & Thank You!

A Grandmothers Love -as seen by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

The best example I can provide is this:

A toddler, who has just handed a tiny, sticky, booger from his nose to his grandma.

-the mom.. She is slightly horrified.. Apologizes to the grandma, hands her son some Kleenex, gives a brief lecture on manners, digs for the bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse..

But the grandma!

She accepts the tiny, sticky, booger as if it were a diamond.

"Did you pick this just for me you sweet thing you..". And she gives her grandchild a big kiss.

***

I have written about it before; the strongest power in the entire universe; -a grandmothers love.

And i was reminded when i watched martha meltzer talk about her granddaughter yesterday..

The way she lit up.. Had such a smile retelling some family classics..     -and she shared the same secret my parents know..

"You get to be so much more relaxed"

More love; less responsibility...

Everytime i watch my own parents with my children..   When i watch the expressions of any loving grandparent

I just know.. It is the greatest love their is to know as a human being. -so i always silently pray.. 'Please Jesus.. Let me live long enough to experience this! .. To be a rockin' grandma!"

Amen

***

For the record:   i was in the company of martha meltzer because i am in the process of creating a documentary, along with jane and casey, for the city of pleasanton...      -details withheld.. But to honor the literary arts..

Sunday, November 09, 2014

Potty Trained & Loyal for (me!) Sandra, tvgp

My dad: "do you need a man who has strong abs? Is that important to you?".  /picture of some hunk on the internet..

(Me!): " I want my man potty trained and loyal.. Nothing else matters.."

My dad: "guess that's important.. You want him to remember to put the seat down.."

(Me!): "that's not the kind of potty trained I'm talking about.. What I mean when I say potty trained is that I want a man who doesn't have to gaze at every female that walks by.."

My dad: "we're just looking..  Nothing wrong with that"

(Me!):  "potty trained and loyal; that's all I ask.."

-my dad.. Who vocalizes his opinion on everyone woman who appears on the TV; seeks opinions on who is more beautiful, this one or that one? Teaches  "Hubba hubba ding ding" to all his male grandchildren..  

That's who he is; that's what he does..  I would never ask or expect him to change. He is a great dad, wonderful grandfather..

But I couldn't be married to someone like that for 5 minutes.

They are out there in large numbers.. Unpotty-trained men..

Married men with their wife at their side..  Flirting with others.. Announcing who they find attractive; eye-ing every female..

It just seems like such huge disrespect..

I see some of these wives with unpotty trained husbands.. They seem entirely impervious..

I think they've settled below what they deserve..

Because when I see husband's who do respect their wives..

That is what I wish for my daughter..

And what I hope to instill in my son..

"Let's learn a little respect here..   A little self control, some manners, and respect.."

For this I pray.  -amen..

Saturday, November 08, 2014

The analogy is this.. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

You must get from one side of the road to the other. It is PACKED with potholes you must avoid..

For a while you drive your car.. Until the potholes become so dense you must ride a bike.. Until it gets even worse so you have to walk.. Jump.. Hop on one foot..  The potholes spread out again.. So you get back in a car... Car;bike;foot.. Foot; car; bike..   

Until one day you finally realize the only way to avoid the potholes

Is to fly.

***

This analogy fits what life experience?   May I start the list by saying "advertisements"

Conversation with a peoples temple cult survivor. by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I was 12 years old, living in Hayward, California when the tragedy took place..  I only now vaguely remember the chronic news coverage..  Mass suicide-murder..   Images of bodies lying dead..

Only vague is my memory...  Cups; poisoned kool-aid; cult; Jim Jones..  Peoples temple..  Guyana..  San Francisco..

This kind of grief and disbelief and confusion in my home, school classroom, neighborhood...   What happen?!

I remember only vaguely, as an adult, happening across a documentary..  Watching it in hopes to learn more; to understand now, what happened then..

The brainwashing..    -such identifiable patterns leading to..   -when you have a chance to look back

The only other time I remember talking about it..  Was in an effort to explain to my children, where that saying came from:

"Drank the kool-aid"

It is used quite casually colloquially these days..  To imply you have over-surrendered to, or been seduced by, someone's charisma (ideas, beliefs).

It is most often Used, from my experience, in regard to political leaders..   Anyone attending a rally for a given candidate and then buying into their vision and supporting said candidate with great enthusiasm publicly..

They will either volunteer it themselves, "yes.. I went, I listened, I drank the kool-aid"

Or.. Someone will say it about them "oh no.. So n so drank the kool -aid"

This is born from one of the ugliest, notorious, cult murders in the history books.  I cannot myself offer any new information; it would all be redundant.  You can Google for yourself; keywords:

Jim jones. Peoples temple. Jonestown massacre.

Why I'm posting this now.. Is because the above being my only highly limited knowledge of the tragedy..

You can perhaps appreciate my complete surprise at learning that one of our rather favorite frequent customers to the store..

Visiting at least once a month when she gets her hair done..

Well, I learned yesterday, that SHE

Is a peoples temple survivor!  She escaped at age 26..  Having been entrapped for 6 years..

SHE is among the people who were so desperately trying to communicate to an oblivious and deaf, dumb and blind public

That Jim jones was killing people.. Was going to kill everyone! That to visit Guyana "to get the story".  Was to " risk your life..  I want you to know that.. You are risking your life!"

SHE gave the warning even to congressman Ryan, who in fact was murdered.

I would never be able to do our conversation justice. I only want to say how happy, pleased, grateful and proud of you I am for escaping; for surviving...

I feel very privileged you shared some of your story with me.  That tragedy is so many things.. World history; religious history; cult history; an eternal cautionary warning..    -the weight of it

To see you today.. Beautiful, healthy (save a broken ankle).  It does my own heart good..

For my readers..  -of course! I asked her first if I could share this on my blog.. And I've also invited her to share some of her experience in the comments here, which I also consider a great privilege

"God Bless You!" Friend...   "God Bless You and Keep You!"

Amen..

Friday, November 07, 2014

Pleasure to make your acquaintance marc, from (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I feel somehow rewarded for showing up early for work today...  The potential for benefits! I have been without since 2006..  God bless Obama, but.. My application was never received; my phone calls unreturned..   I think they should have rolled out that program city by city, state by state..  But enough shop talk..  I want to share, my fellow reader, more about this book i recommended..  Even though it is outside of your favorite genre..  

Let me say it this way..   Because i eat books you see; food..  Nutrition..

And if people of the book, by geraldine brooks..   Was a meal..  Well! Perfect that thanksgiving is nearby

I just finished Wild, by cheryl strayed..  This..  This was for me.. An oatmeal stout on a beautiful day..

One handed guzzle; i did not sip..  I did not put my glass down..  Ever slight my buzz increased..   Until, before i realized.. Done.  Oops..  I should have drank a little slower..  I mean, have some manners.. Put the glass down in between..

But you cannot /should not guzzle 'people of the book'

It is not a beverage

It is in fact a thanksgiving meal!  You will need time..  You will need utensils; especially a knife and fork so you can break the pages into smaller, bite size pieces..  Chew.. Let the words rest on your pal

/oh.. Forgive me.. I can never remember which pallette is your tongue and which is for the painter..     I will skip my tirade here about learning how to talk write..  But honestly.. In conversation with someone..  Has anyone EVER stopped you to ask, "did you mean tongue or artists? When you said pallette?   -no. No one ever asks in conversation.. " do you mean its or it's?  Do you mean there? Their? They're?".  It is not necessary..  And it should not be necessary in writing either; ONE SPELLING per phonetic word; why do we insist on complicating things?

Where was i?  Oh yes..   You will need a napkin, and pace yourself, leave room for 2nds, 3rds and dessert..

Grateful to meet you marc.  Pleases me to learn your family thrives in the absence of  television

Perhaps that is testimony..  -if we consider; -because of the absence of television, or, -do two the absence of television..

Your family thrives

Due to; whatever...

I will just in closing say,  if it werent for bacon id be a vegetarian

And if it werent for charlie rose, church tv and cbs sunday morning
And the ability to record and skip past commercials; id throw my tv out two.

Blessings!

Thursday, November 06, 2014

My top 3 concerns for the United States of America. (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

1.  Technology is evolving exponentially; while human beings are stuck.  -when you have such large ℅'s of the population entering into adulthood.. Into their 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's.. And they still have no conflict/resolution skills; no basic manners; no ability to conquer addictions; to identify and conquer negative, self- destructive behaviors, no tolerance/understanding for other points of view; no taming of moods or ego.. I could go on..  But its the saddest thing..  We Need to help PEOPLE evolve; not just machines and computers..

2.  Income inequality (borrowed the wording from watching my charlie rose...   /hey.. Did I ever tell you about the time I got to meet charlie rose and kiss him on the neck?

The CEO vs. Employee pay discrepancy is humiliating.. Shameful.  I don't see any reason to worry about terrorists when we do such a great job of poisoning ourselves with greed..  

There is such a long list of contributing factors to the income inequality issue..   But.. Let's look once more at crime and punishment; that speeding ticket..

Two people; same crime: 45 in a 25..   Same fine; let's call it $100 for easy math..

1st person earns $500,000
2nd person earns $10,000.

This is no longer same fine for same crime, is it.  Inconvenient for one; literally removing groceries for the other..

Its a huge contributor:  giving more to those who already have; and taking even more from those who don't have to begin with..

This pattern is most evident in the banking industry.  "Have lots.. We'll give you more! Wave fees! Add interest!"

"Can't meet the minimum amount? Well, we'll have to charge you for checks,  no interest, increase overdraft fees...    That will be another $35 for hoping your $25 check wouldn't go through until tomorrow because you only had $9 in your account..".     WTF

This is also crazy evident in the entertainment industry..  "You've made gazillions! Awesome.. We will (variable here.. Publish your next book, produce your next show, promote your future exhibit)."

starving artist you say?   I'm sorry.. Yes I realize your (variable here) is original and perhaps even better than.. But.. We're going to give the opportunity to our gazzillionaire..

***  ***

I think we should start this american social math problem from a different place; ask different questions..

For the person working a 40 hour week at what we currently call "minimum" wage..  What should such a person be able to afford within a one week period ..one tank of gas, one loaf of bread, 3 cans of soup, ... 

1/4 rent?   -because,  3.  the cost of actually living way exceeds the pay earned for actually working.

We need to fix that; too.

"No more scratch paper; (me!) business cards are in!" Sandra, tvgp

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

I.e., by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

example worth a million prayers...  

"What are God's promises again!?" By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I had the same reaction initially for sure...  To have the preacher say, 'God keeps his promises'

-how it flashed through my mind.. The kidnappings, the rapes, the bullies, the alcoholics, the high number of mean manipulative people, the exploiters, the liars, the thieves.. The drug addicts..

My own battles with PTSD.. A million symptoms thereof; how much my life was robbed; entire childhood robbed..

The suffering going on all around the whole world!   And looking at my preacher like,  

Um, ..  "What exactly are God's promises?".    /the fact I recall this now with laughter, joy, peace is a testimony in itself!

But we hear it often... How could there be so much suffering if there is a God?  How could a loving God allow?...

What I have learned.. Is that  -nowhere-   in the Bible does it say that there will be no suffering.  But several..  Too many passages to list here.. Several places in the bible in says, in one form or another..

Well, in crude terms..  -you will suffer.  That it turns out IS one of God's promises..

/not easy for the spiritually young to swallow no doubt.

But there is also.. Too many passages to list here.. Just as many passages where God promises that those who suffer.. Those who bear their cross..

They will also rejoice in God's glory.   There is the promise that all things will be worked for the good..  And one of my favorites, which can be found in 2 Corinthians 1: 3-11, which summarized =

..the God of all compassion and comfort, who comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others...

Now.. Doesn't that sound, in essence, what I have said on my own, from my own observation and experiences:

That we come to earth with instructions.  What we love to do instructs us on what we are here to do.  -and what suffering we endure instructs us on who we are here to help.

-doesn't that give you a new spin!  The more ways you suffer; the more people you can help!  -the more opportunities you have for exercising compassion and comfort...

I've also benefited tremendously from learning to believe -that the more good you are destined to accomplish for God; the greater the attacks to try and stop you..

Another beautiful spin!  Away from "why are all these horrific things happening to me?"  Toward, "wow! I must be a huge threat to the devil destined for great and mighty works for God"

So.. Please do not make any association where suffering means the absence of a loving God.. 

I have been delivered..  Never alone... Comforted through...  And live now, on the other side.  I have gained priceless tools that allow me to know -KNOW-  that if and when and as future attacks occur

God will prevail through me.   -in time through my children.. My grandchildren..  Etc.  

Here is the single most important thing I can share about human suffering and healing:  you need prayer, love and time; lots of time.

In our modern on-demand world.. With so much available so instantly..   The requirement of patience and time is a greater challenge

"Keep the faith!"

One person I recently spoke with.. Lost her mom at a young age to breast cancer; she battled breast cancer for 20 years!   -this is a great suffering.. Terrible for the mom.. Awful, painful for her children; helpless..  And then motherless..

In the past week..  I spoke with her.  It has been a long time since she endured this loss. She is a mom herself now with two beautiful daughters.  She was in the store purchasing a gift for the mom of one of her daughters friends who.. Just finished chemotherapy for her battle with breast cancer..   She said to me..  "I never knew one day I'd be able to help someone.. But the daughter is about the same age I was when my mom was diagnosed.. So it felt good to be able to tell her I know what its like.."

-it is a promise for those who believe:  ..so that we can comfort those in trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive..

It is pain and suffering made beautiful; the very definition of transcendence..

It is one of the most incredible patterns in humanity to witness.

It is a significant distinction between two groups:

The, "I have suffered! And so am going to make sure you suffer too!"

Vs. "I have suffered.  I know your pain.  I made it through.. And so can you"

I pray for everyone..   All suffering; transcended. -for the glory of God.  And just as the Bible reads, may every rainbow you encounter serve as a loving reminder of Gods covenant with his children..  Hallelujah and amen!





Tuesday, November 04, 2014

To the current generation: on the topic of poverty & wealth. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Dear generation PS.. Problem-solvers..

Again, I must start with an apology and ask your forgiveness for who knows how many generations before you..

No secret that the gap between the poor and wealthy has done nothing but widen for decades now..  And we currently are in crisis..

The number of people, families, children living below the poverty level is threatening the whole country really..   No one person can solve this..  And there are many factors.. Many! But let me kick start by bringing your attention to this one:

The discrepancy between what lower end employees earn vs. -say, CEO's

Now.. I know there are different levels of responsibility.. I know all the arguments and so do you.. So, rather than rehash, I will just ask each of you to

Draw your own line.  -k.  I'm no economist, or mathematician.. Or corporate executive

But just imagine with me..  This is my strength..   I will use imaginary small numbers to make my point. Are you ready?

Very well

Small start up. 1 CEO.  5 employees.

CEO has no business without employees; employees have no job without CEO

1st year employees earn minimum wage while CEO tries to break even.. On investment.. And start to profit..

Skip ahead..  To profits!

Employees minimum...  Struggle to eat and put gas in car..
CEO pays off mortgage on 1st house.

Employees minimum. -struggles to make ends meet
CEO buys 2nd house, has medical, dental, 2 week vacation..

Employees minimum. -struggles to make ends meet..
CEO owns 2 homes, benefits, IRA, vacation

Employees wage remains the same..
CEO owns 2 homes, three cars, growing retirement fund, full benefits, paid vacation, private jet, money for college for three children, all well fed, living in a beautiful, safe neighborhood, attending private schools.. Etc. Etc.

I already know the jokes about 'being the CEO'. So spare me..

My obvious point is that everyone contributes..  And the current gap between the top execs and the everyday employees..

SICKENING.  HIDEOUS.  I do not how such human beings look themselves in the mirror or sleep at night..

Knowing there is a very real responsibility gap..  Where would you draw the line?

Under what circumstance  -if the profits are good.. Should everyone benefit.. Because in fact, everyone contributes..

Currently we have literally that type of gap:  a few people at the top with enough wealth to care for themselves, their parents, and three generations after them via wills..

And employees who work for "them" struggling to pay for a weeks worth of groceries..

Its downwrite embarrassing.  America...  Come on!

I propose employees earn a wage +% of overall profits..

% always seem more fair..

What % I don't know..

But something, anything that will shrink the humiliating poverty wealth gap..

We are not talking about lazy people here.. Trying to take advantage of the system.. We are talking about hard working employees who are contributing to overall success..

Otherwise.  That seems a natural result; consequence..

Workers comp...   -because, really..  

So, if in fact you are successful..   And profiting.. And you have employees..

What gap are you comfortable with?  

Everything/nothing?

Everything/barely?

Everything/a little sumpthin'

Everything/some..

Everything/something for everyone contributing..

I am wholeheartedly counting on generation PS to reveal and correct the current financial gap between CEO's and employees..

A new algorithm..

A renewed america...

With love and hope,   ~sandra, tvgp

To the current generation: on the topic of bullies. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I am going to call you "generation PS".   -problem solvers..  Because that's what we need a generation of..  A few generations perhaps, but we have to start somewhere, -write.   -what have generation x or y done?  Baby boomers?  

Anyway..   Dear generation PS.   First please forgive many, many, many generations before you.  -there is no excuse really..  Its just pathetic on every level.. But we can't undo the past.. And forgiveness is necessary to move forward; blame is 99% of the time counterproductive..

So on behalf of all of us who have lived before you "very sorry; very sorry"

Now..  Here's what we have, AKA: the problem:

Bullies.  Mean people.. 

And here's the thing to pay close attention to:  they are on every school campus.. In higher numbers in some schools than others, yes.. But really.. There are at least a few on every campus; every where..

K..

And it has been going on for-EVER!    - less intelligent and uncreative passive types sum it up this way:

'Has always been; will always be'.   -and live on ignoring; in ignorance

But -and yes I am blatantly flattering your generation

Because..  More intelligent, and highly creative problem-solvers like yourselves..

I trust you are looking and thinking to yourself..

Let's do some math!   That's how many schools X how many bullies X how many decades?!?    How anyone has access to that many test subjects and that many experiments over that many years.. And STILL can't figure out a solution...

That's just sad and embarrassing and pathetic.  

What is obvious, is that whatever anyone has been trying; is not yielding results.  

"If it does not get results people... STOP DOING THAT! And try something new...

And keep Trying something new UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY GET POSITIVE RESULTS..

Do not settle for less than Zero bullies on campus.

I know it can be done.   With deep faith in you, generation PS..

Love, Sandra tvgp

Favorite Memory trigger! For (me!) -writeousmom..

I will never tire of having this memory triggered...  So, -extra grateful for the bag of hand-me-down clothes sent from our cousins in southern California to my niece..

They are another family of faith as you can see from this top with a bible passage..   But! Oh! -the passage itself brings an INSTANT smile to my face..

When was it?  I'm not sure if my son was in 1st or 2nd grade? -but please see him very young, those big earnest blue eyes.. That dimple.. A very high level of sincerity..

We were on our way back from school when he told me that some kid had been kicking and hitting him at recess..

I silently plotted a vengeful visit of roman proportion to said child's home.. While outwardly remaining calm

"What did you do?...  How did you handle that?"

"I kicked and hit him back...    -because that's the golden rule.."

I said, "how is THAT the golden rule?!"

He said,   -so innocently; so sincerely; so confident..

"Do unto others as they have done unto you."

***

Still makes me laugh... Always will..     A true treasure...

Bragging writes! For (me!) -writeousmom..

"Thank you! Jesus.." I have long lists and many reasons to be proud of both of my children...

But topping the list this week..  -because it had been a while since we had listened to this CD..

-because I don't think I quite realized..

But my daughter sang along.. And knows all the lyrics to just about every song on Stevie Wonders definitive collection.

She has a beautiful voice..  

And the whole experience yielded in me a certain calm; a unique confidence

"Yes.  I am raising her write!"

I think our favorite is..  "Living just enough for the cit-TY...."

Sunday, November 02, 2014

"IVE BEEN REDEEMED!". (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

Lots of people to thank here..

1. My kids for their willingness to give it a go...
2. Valerie daft of limelight faces for our awesome zombie make-up.. /and so grateful my son desired a professional..  Great experience.. And a new favorite family photo..
3. Host & Hostess:  robert & jane..  For including us!..  Newbies to their otherwise long list of well established friends and family..

We had a great time! "Thank you!"..  I could practically feel michael jackson smiling from heaven..  The love and creativity poured into the decorations..  The music! The lights! The photo booth..  The flashmob!

The surprise performance by brett nichols!    Awesome, awesome, awesome..

And my kids loved getting to see that spectacular view of San Francisco from the 27th floor of NEMA..   And on such a glorious night!

" did i mention ive seen This Is It, like 9 times!   I love michael jackson too.. I cant not dance to his music..  From jackson 5 to thriller..  What a legacy!"

When brett nichols performed.. And did michael jackson so much justice..  I asked my daughter..  "Who is the michael jackson of your generation?".  And she said, " we dont really have one.."

Well, of course there is only ONE...  But every generation should have their very own original mega, mega, super star taking art to new heights..

They just should...

A toast... "To robert! To jane! To brett! ... To Michael Jackson!

...the way you make us feel..

You really turned us on...".     Cheers and amen!

Saturday, November 01, 2014