Friday, July 31, 2015

"Happy 10 Year Blogging Anniversary!" to (me!) sandra, tvgp

Top Ten Reasons "i love my blog!"

1. its a living document.

in the search bar of this blog, if you enter, shady characters, this will provide an example of what i mean:  that is, i wrote my memories of being in a bank when it was robbed, and then because the story lives in the blogosphere, the best friend i mention, was able to write her memories in comments, and then! quite a time later, the ex-boyfriend i mention was able to add his memories.. Shady Characters is one of the greatest treasures in my blog; the way it captures how human memory does and does not work. and i love that my friends share straight from their heart; raw. it is not edited, polished for publication; it is very real.

2.  external memory storage.

there is so much ive blogged that i would never remember on my own.. but when you add a search bar to all the writing, this allows me, -if i can at least remember one key word,  -immediate access to experiences/memories in my life.

3. best vehicle for processing trauma. 

i was not successful processing my traumas in a traditional setting:  counselors office.  but have healed a great deal by writing about it: in my search bar, enter: he has a name.  -writing this helped me further process being the #2 victim of the lakeside serial rapist.

4. one-stop-shop for my creativity.

within my blog i have creative nonfiction short stories, poetry, humor pieces, political/social commentary, photographs from my "The Heart Seen" collection, and my "Ricky Picky" photo collection, comic strips, mag time frames, mixed media art, family recipes..  essentially, this one platform is my home for everything i think, write, create that i am inspired to share.

5. its fun!!

i have written professionally for newspapers and magazines, and have taught classes and workshops..but the more professional work i was doing, the less i wanted to write. when i switched, thank you to the blogosphere, from professional for money, to writing for pure pleasure.. well, as you can see, i have not stopped since..

6. personal evolution.

writing helps me to better see my own strengths and weaknesses and make adjustments, corrections along the way  -not to my grammar, punctuation, or spelling; but to my very character as a human being.

7. no editor!

and God bless editors, yes.. i used to be one, but.. not having an editor and being able to write freely; intuitively and spontaneously vs. according to some very outdated grammar/punctuation rules and regulations. this put the pleasure back in the process. i like to say, "read me for content not appearance"

8. imaginary conversations with important people.

-there are so many people i will never have the opportunity to meet and talk with in person and maybe if i did, i would be too nervous to get the questions out anyway, but i use my blog to document the conversations i would have; if i could..

9. do-overs:

in real life... we don't always get do-overs, but i also use my blog to create the do-overs as i would do them; if i could do them.

10. im creating what i wish my relatives had given me:

-my grandma harrison wrote 3 pages in a journal..  which i read with deep great interest and when i turned to page 4..  "that is it?!?!".  i was devastated really. there is so much i wish i knew about my family..  i wish all my aunts, uncles and grandparents, cousins, parents, siblings...  quite frankly i wish everyone kept a journal. i'd be reading them write now.

so, i am admittingly over-compensating for all my family members who do a lot of talking...   but where do the conversations go?

last thing i want to point out is, that it is only because of the blogosphere that ive done so much writing.  these same stories would not exist if i was still long hand journaling in 3 ring binders..

" thank you!" to the geniuses who created this platform.

i was born for such a time as this! 

and consider this anniversary a completely legitimate reason to have some cake for breakfast... 

Thursday, July 30, 2015

fun things to think about for (me!) sandra, tvgp

im pretty fresh off watching NOVA's what makes us human? program. -great show. very well done. im quite fond of the host who i know from watching CBS Sunday Morning..  

its all very intriguing and entertaining.. and the primary focus of this particular show, in regards to what separates humans from animals was...

language & laughter.  

and, i mean really.. they nailed it didn't they.. because when was the last time you heard an elephant tell a good joke?

anyway.. distinctions between animals and humans.. that's what my mind was contemplating as i drifted off to sleep last night...

"contemplating!".  -hey.. animals don't contemplate do they?  i wonder..

" wonder!".  -do animals wonder where their next meal is coming from?   -wonder what will happen if they sleep all day vs. go out in the wild? -wonder what direction they should take? decision they should make? 

-do wild animals ever get wild ideas?  and then discuss the pros and cons..   do they have regrets?   are they ever self-conscious about their appearance?  

are there any animals who use forest fires to have a big BBQ?  and cook their prey instead of having to eat it raw all the time..

I mean, how unsanitary..      "sanitation!".   hmm,  what does separate us humans from other animals species?

" transportation!".   -do birds fly because they can get there faster? and do they ever stop anywhere along the way just because its beautiful?  do they ever change their minds?

are there any animals with faith or belief systems? who are "curious!" about the origin of their existence? whether or not they have any famous relatives?  and speaking of relatives.. our closest relatives; the apes..  how come some populations have, in theory, evolved into humans while other populations remain apes? if we "time travel!" into the future.. in what year have all the monkeys and apes finally learned to stand up, shave and wipe their ass? 

do animals have any concept of our time in history? calendars? -remember birthdays?  -get sentimental...   stare up at the stars and "wish!" they could "explore!" outer space...  

are there any animals who have been "inspired!" to draw or take pictures.. or the equivalent.. to try and re-capture a scene in nature..

are there any animals who point at something  "on purpose!" so other animals will look in that direction  -and then run.. 

do animals have secrets?  hopes and dreams?  do animals pray?   meditate? 

i haven't "studied!" animals in any "great depth!" but..    are there any animals who trade? negotiate? barter?

-like, are there any animals who use there skill sets/instincts "gifts! & talents!" as a form of "currency!"   -and "place value!" on this to trade for that?

can animals "believe!" things they do not know..

are there any animals "conscious of their consciousness?  ..of their conscience?...

are there any animals that are also.. " trend setters!".

like,  (yawn) ... i wonder..  does one animal look at another animal.. (stretch..turn off lights.. return to bed) and "think!".. 

i like your mangled hairstyle... how can I get my mane to look like that? that where the term copy-cat came from...?

democracy.. free speech.. freedom of religion...scientific method..  chocolate... coffee..  ZZZzzzzz.....

What scientists know about human evolution, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Girl Scout Troop from London visiting (ricks picks!)

customers come in solo, sometimes in pairs, whole families will come in, and sometimes 3 to 4 friends together; but pretty unusual to have this large of a group to come in all together to shop.. so I had to ask..   and then delighted in their accents and stories.  -you can meet them here:    "Pleasure to meet you!  Blessings!".

sandy land comics by (me!) sandra kay & (nancy eddinger!)

..another treasure/reward as i continue to declutter my room and life..  sandy land comics.  inspired by time devoted to mag time frames and my experiences in the arts & crafts industry.   I did the writing; Nancy Eddinger did the illustrations.  We have 16 one panel and multiple panel strips we submitted to publishers in 199?    -and in reviewing them today I still find them funny, relatable.. and can't imagine why these aren't in print write now...  

Monday, July 27, 2015

Sunday, July 26, 2015

1 Corinthians 10:13 translated by (me!) sandra, tvgp

every morning i click on two apps:  1. to find out the word of the day; most of which I will never actually use in my conversations or writings, -its just fun.  And 2. The bible app for my passage of the day.    -& when I shared it with my sister this morning, we were both like..   ?...     what does that mean in plain English please.   So I'm going to attempt a bullet point translation as I understand it.    

First!  as it appeared:

1 Corinthians 10:13

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.



*  there are no temptations that are not common to everyone.  I.e.,  greed, revenge, lust,  etc.    /I believe the list is short and finite.

* God will not allow you to be tempted beyond your ability to overcome.  -and I believe we become stronger each time we recognize a temptation for what it is..  and fight the good fight..    

* there is an exit strategy.   and I believe exiting IS the strategy in many cases.  that is why we are taught to -flee!- away from temptation

vs.  hang out near or with or around and just hope we don't succumb.

-having failed on many occasions before I learned to succeed; I hath a deep appreciation for thy passage.. 

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) in my raisin bread...

..yes, yes.. now i remember...!

my beautiful aunt June & amazing uncle bill...  

google:  bill and June Vaughn pottery.    -stunning!  

Thanks for the visit!  Love you!

they look suspicious... ~ly like (my family!)

my mom, her sister. .  who passed along to me & my sister, how to also be best friends..     -and then..    its been so long I'm not sure who those other two characters are?... 

favorite neighbors in downtown pleasanton (main st. sunglasses!)

the reasons i love my job list is very long..  but certainly you will find on it, somewhere near the top: location and neighbors.   -same things that contribute to whether or not i love where i live..

and when it comes to neighbors..    ricks picks is extra lucky.

and..  having just recently posted about our stores new butterfly stamp...

see that?     2 stamps!   10 smiles!

Saturday, July 25, 2015

Lost & Found Spell -excerpt from Six Months on the Fence by (me!) sandra, tvgp

page 3:   ...On the inside cover of all my journals is my phone number, email address, and a little note to entertain, inform and warn the person who finds my journal should, God Forbid, I ever lose one.

Lost & Found Spell.

if found, return to me    ~without reading past this page
then luck and love will be yours for life no matter what your age

but should you read beyond this page    -I've cast an evil spell:

impotence for gentlemen -  and breath that all can smell.

women - you will never mate - your back will always ache

and the only orgasms you'll ever have are the ones you'll have to fake. 


-that was written by (me!) some ten years ago now, and fun to come across during my decluttering/excavation process..

half of what is keeping me going is wondering what else i might come across..

in Jesus name,  -amen.

I spy my lucky number! (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

it has been my non~guilty pleasure for some time now: the vine cinema & ale house in livermore

a cold handcrafted beer, salty popcorn, kick off my shoes, and stretch out on one of their super comfy couches..

get lost inside someone else's story on the big screen for a while.


and a true pleasure to introduce to others.. local friends/family who have never been; friends/family visiting from out of town..

people whose only movie theater experience involves cramped rows of seats squished write next to each other.. 

to suddenly have some elbow r o o m..   a couch, sofa, with not just a narrow arm rest with a cupholder.. but a table! for your drinks..

which can include wine or beer or soda, water..

and where you can have restaurant food delivered..

it almost doesn't matter which movie is playing the experience is so good..

but it was a good movie too.   Mr Holm's.    /which I can only seem to say and hear in a way that plays off of the popular classic song: Mrs Jones.   "  ... me and Mr holmes, Mr Holmes, Mr Holmes..

we've got a thing...     going on...   Da, dut, da dut, da... "

anyway:  if they had to do it over again.. my mom, my aunt and friends..   they would have lunch first, somewhere in downtown Livermore, and then just have drinks/popcorn in the theatre.

-because although the food itself was good..   and the seats comfortable, and the tables convenient.

-they found it hard to eat in the dark.    

/and it is,  but may I personally highly recommend zephyrs blue~cheese bacon burger.  -which was delicious and sustained me from this afternoon movie all the way until breakfast the next day.

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-only from a specific distance, -but a very pleasant surprise. Rick called needing picture of bamboo style wind chimes.  I grabbed a couple from this display, and added to that display.. tried to put the 6 we have of that style in one area so I was only taking 1 picture.. And.. well, -check it out:  

Two more reasons i love my job. (Me!) sandra, tvgp

the annual 'where's waldo' event hosted by our downtown main street neighbor: towne center books.

ricks picks, with its huge variety of a little bit of everything is a perfect store for .....   

"can you give us a hint?"

-because it can be a little overwhelming also, for the little ones.

-that's when we offer to play hot & cold, and treat waldo like an easter egg.. cold and you are nowhere near; warm you are getting closer; hot! -all you have to do is look from where you are

"I found him!!"

and then they run to the counter all excited to get their stamp on their passport.

there is something extra special about every single person who plays this game..

but these two caused a little extra melting of my heart.  -not quite the height of our counter, so it was partly in the way they had to reach up..

-those sweet faces; sweet voices..

and then.. I gave them each two butterfly stamps in the ricks picks square.  And then asked if they also wanted a stamp on their hands.

-they both did.

and smiled so big.  and said "thank you!" without their nanny even having to prompt them..

and then the little girl...

Well, she couldn't seem to figure out how she could admire the butterfly stamp on her hand and hold the where's waldo passport paper at the same time.  So she handed the paper to her nanny.

"Can you hold this.. I can't. I have a stamp on my hand!".   -and she held up her hand.. Smiling at the butterfly all the way out of the store and on to their next adventure...

-so precious..


and my confession here is this:  " me too!".   -honey, I am nearly 50 years old and have never lost my joy for the simple pleasures of a stamp, or a sticker..

I love stamping these passports and stamping the kids hands..

I wanna stamp everyone who comes through the door..

and close here with a big "thank you!" To Anne..  Because at first we were each just initialing the boxes with a pen..


but she brought the butterfly stamp and ink pad.

and if you could see the smiles..    -for such a very inexpensive, simple thing..

-talk about return on investment!    -and so I have recommended we keep a stamp at all times; forever!  Even after the event ends..

because even for the kids who aren't participating in the game..  when you offer to stamp their hand..

Immediately transforms their experience at the cash register and they leave with a smile..

how much was this stamp and ink pad?

I think, when you evaluate from a purely business stand point.

time, cost, investment, vs. return...

we are way outshining some place like...   Safeway.. Where the kids can have a free cookie..

plus, -this is not a sugary snack that some parents want to avoid..

it doesn't harm your teeth, or ruin your dinner..

yes..  from a strictly business standpoint

1 tiny stamp. 1 standard ink pad.  =  over a hundred stamped passports and hands

and who ever gets the stamp, smiles.
the parent smiles.
The person giving the stamp smiles.
anyone standing in line, witnessing the smiling children, also smile..

that's like, 5 smiles for every 1 stamp..

~very good business in deed.

Friday, July 24, 2015

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

...and you know what i love about this one dont you.. 

how its so close to going down the drain; but didn't.

Monday, July 20, 2015

"Oh... if i had an instagram app...". photo by (me!) writeousmom

Sunday, July 19, 2015

an excerpt from Six months on the fence, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-the wild part .. is .. i just re-ran across this writing of mine from ten years ago.. on the same day my daughter was at Disneyland with friends celebrating Disneyland's 60th anniversary:


About the same time I open my Michael Gelb book I hear Taryn let out a great big sigh, "Mommy," she says, as she pulls the Walt Disney biography close to her chest in a dramatic sweep, "I know where it all got started."

"You know where what got started?" I ask her.

"Disneyland," she says with the authority of a college professor, "It all started when Walt was on the farm and put his sister's hat on one of the pigs.  The pigs name was Porky. That's how it all got started. I just know it! A pig wearing a hat! He was dressing up the animals on the farm when he was only 6 years old. That's what made his imagination take off."

I'm so pleased to see her excited and learning. "I never knew that," I say with mommy pride and interest, "That's a great story!"

"Wait til I tell Jack about that," she says, "How the brother stole his sisters hat, put it on a pig and that's how Walt Disney got his start."

"Congratulations!" to (A.C. Brea!) on their victory today!

...and all i'm sayin' is..  your victory just happen to take place on the same day i could finally attend..  so, i like to think there might be a correlation.     -and i saw some great moves out there!  pleasure to watch some live soccer and have family to root for!   i count it among my 2015 blessings that your team traveled write here to pleasanton to compete...   !   love you!  xoxo

The Heart Seen.. featured on (CBS Sunday Morning!)

The Heart Seen... (on pluto!)

emailed to (me!) by (squidmann!)

Saturday, July 18, 2015

Write about meaning. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

permanent:  my tattoo. -its meaning to (me!) is permanent, although i continue to play..   'it means conquer the world with kindness'

and I used to say, 'it means.. conquer the world one man at a time ...   with kindness'

but.. the whole, 'one man at a time' thing seem to stir up ideas counter to my intentions so I dropped that part out..

~of great interest to me.. are people, who upon learning my story, become almost apologetic about their own tattoos:

"yeah.. I got this..  I don't know.. because I liked it I guess.. But it doesn't have any meaning"

I actually don't think tattoos need to have any meaning beyond the fact you liked it and wanted one..

-my analogy would be home decor.  -maybe you have an heirloom piece that once belonged to a beloved relative, and even though it doesn't match a thing in your home; isn't something you would ever purchase from a store today..  you keep it, because it has this special meaning.

and on the very same shelf..  you have a piece..  because you like it.   -that's the beginning and end of its meaning; it is not utilitarian.. it is not heirloom, it has no special meaning, associations..  -you just liked it, bought it.. put it on your shelf to enhance your environment and enjoy..

you need no other reason.

-and I was struck by meaning again, when during a recent /and very ongoing

decluttering session..  

I happened across several pictures.   some of which contain tons of meaning; some no meaning beyond finding a thing appealing enough to take a picture

and some where the meaning has changed.  -and some where the meaning has been entirely lost:

once upon a time, this picture.. of him & I..   in love..   it meant the world to me..

and then I learned that at the very moment our cute couple picture was taken..  where we look ..  at least in this picture.. We look in love with each other..

turns out that wasn't true.    -the meaning got vacuumed write out of the picture and so...  "To the trash can with you!"

and I realized again..  How the truth..  

The meaning of the word truth:  is permanent.   And there is something very beautiful about that... 

things and words and people whose meaning remain to us permanent and true..

and i love that about my own tattoo..   its meaning is permanent.  I play with connotation/denotation.. but

what it meant to me when I got it almost 10 years ago..

what it means to me now..

what it will mean to me 20 years from now..

so I toast this morning to "permanent ink!"

and shall write a poem soon..   Called,   'ain't no pencil tattoos'

In Jesus name,  amen.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

mural in progress by (!)

The Heart Seen in broken bird by (me!) sandra, tvgp

I know the sound.. of something that just broke.  A casualty of merchandising.. so I went one aisle over and asked Anne.. 'You OK?'.  -and then I looked down.. "Check out that heart!  -do not clean it up until I get a picture...".  And she was like.. 'I could never do that even if I tried..'.     ~notice that? how you can't even see the heart until
its broken.  

"Winners!". -scavenger hunt, downtown pleasanton...

"Congratulations!!". -from everyone at Ricks Picks...

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Omnipresent, as described and understood by (me!) sandra, tvgp

the boys, my son and nephew, are youth leaders this year at vacation bible school.  -of this, i am enormously proud.   -they have accumulated some fun stories to share; and if these stories, these memories, are to be shared with a larger audience i will leave it for them to do..

i just want to take on one thing:  they mentioned a child who asked, "is God bigger than a giant?"

and then I responded, "tell her God is omnipresent"

and the way the boys looked at me I knew that they did not yet know what this meant:   'omni~present'

in brief:   at all places; at all time; without beginning; without end.

So, at all places, at all time, infinitely.

-difficult concept to grasp for humans who think in terms of beginnings, middles & ends, and locations.

the best analogy I've been able to come up with, /dear hostadter,

is LOVE.   I've mentioned in prior blogs, but let me revisit:

where is love?  can you point to it on a map?

did love exist before you were born?
will it exist after you physically die?

when did LOVE come into existence exactly?

if this family over here has 12 children they love very, very, very x12 much...

does that mean there is going to be a shortage for the next family?

how much love is there to go around?  how and when will it run out?  Where is it stored?

where do we find it?   How do we get more? Or less? 

How big is it?  Who can measure?  What tool would you use to measure love?  A scale? A measuring tape?

to the question:  is God bigger than a giant?

I'd have to say..   God.. IS an omnipresent LOVE giant

God is love.


Tuesday, July 07, 2015

Path please. a poem by (me!) sandra, tvgp

excuse me,
- pardon me sir,

but can you please help me find the way to
your heart?

tell me where i might start

-from here:

do i go left? or do i go write? 

is it camouflaged; & hiding in plain sight?    is it?

or am i just so tired and parched -the whole thing is just a mirage

and i need a good hallucination in order to find & lodge

- or,   ... is it   ~real

this loving place that b r ea ks and heals

and br  e aks  and heals

and      bra K e s    and heals.

-from here:

do i need a car? or can i walk?
do i need a key? or is the gate unlocked?

is it really big and easy to find?
is there even room for me?
or is there a big, long, long, line?
and from the back you cannot see.

i was told
sharing secrets
would guide me near

and then, but

unsecreting secrets is a thing to fear

-and FEAR!  i've been told by spectators
makes the distance ever greater

quite frankly, i'm tired. i'm lost. and confused.
feels like all my reserve tanks are empty from use

from here:

-should i turn back in defeat?

or is there      ~anyone~   who has already been there
that i can meet?

is there a short/cut; a fire trail; a bridge; a pass?
or is this territory uncharted? -no one has passed?

oh! what i wouldnt give to be, - first! only! and last!

how? do i get to your heart from



am i anywhere near?

is there something im supposed to do? or to say?

-how many obstacles stand in my way?

i want to get to your heart as fast as i can...

i want to know, and to own;
or at least.. -to just touch it.

ive been told it's rare and fragile as an orchid flower
and ive got such a strong urge to pluck it

path please. a poem in progress.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

9:92pm tuesday night, july 10th, 2015.. i feel a poem comin' on. (me!) sandra, tvgp

and i will post it when its done..  it is to be called: path please.

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Monday, July 06, 2015

Embarrassing moment 7962 for (me!) sandra, tvgp

i'm not embarrassed about my dancing; per se. i do try to contain myself inside the store if there are any people shopping..

i will sometimes dance a little bit if a great song comes on Pandora and the store is empty..  but im very tame. very tame.

i really do save it for, as my mom might describe, 'the appropriate time & place'

-and all us locals know.. that = Barones, music under the stars..

and I never feel embarrassed there..  you're supposed to get a little crazy when the band plays your favorite song..

besides, there's like 100's of people doing there own thing on the dance floor so you just kind of blend in..

my embarrassing moment is embarrassing exactly because there was no group of crazy people to blend in with..

it was just me.   -and if it was really, really just me.. that wouldn't be embarrassing either..

but it is exactly because there was 1 other person ...  besides me..   and not inside the store, just kind of passing by..

and my favorite dance song came on in the store.

and the store was empty!  -it was empty.. 

and I was just putting a couple things out front on the sidewalk.. 

dancing in, dancing out..

and have i not already mentioned uptown funk is the hottest dance song of this year!

and.. it brings out some new moves in me sometimes..  like I don't even know what I'm about to do..  all the sudden my hips will just start going one way, and my feet start side-steppin, and my hands will suddenly shoot up in the air.. 

its all to the beat, I promise you..  it makes perfect sense if you hear the song and watch me dancing at the same time..

but the thing is..

"..oh. hi. Um. .you can't hear the song out here. [stepping just outside the front door/freeze] . see.  but I promise.. Inside the store [stepping partially back in/2 dance moves.] uptown funk is playing write now.. [step out/freeze]  you can only hear it from inside..  but its playing..  [Stepping in/2 more dance moves. Step back out; freeze].  See its just that we don't have music piped out front the way they do at raleys grocery store..
.. but come to think of it.. I've never heard dance music over there..

-I did try to explain...

No, we have not been photo-shopped in..

-that really is (me!) & (my sister!) BBQ'n.   -so there.. 
"Thank you!" here to our dad who gifted my sister with her very own BBQ for her recent birthday. "Thank you! to Ricks Picks!.. for a great deal.. " Thank you!" to Chris Lampson for helping educate us about the chain-thing designed to ..?...  'Oh! it holds matches..'.  And for helping us discover the ignition was not broken.. "You just pull it out.. remove the plastic.. there's a battery.."

"Yes, of course..  we would have figured that out ourselves...


and "Thank you!" to our brave mom and her husband.. and the kids for not laughing.. remaining calm.. and insisting these were the best hot dogs ever..

i mean,  -not just anyone can heat up a hot dog..   -write.

next: hamburgers.  and if the house is still standing after that.. Kabobs.. if no alarms go off that night..  we will BBQ some tri-tip..

-there is no stopping us now.. 

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) On my (Mom~mal!)

now, -i never noticed this while she was here on earth, -no one did to my knowledge.. but when i was going through pictures recently it jumped out in the biggest way.  -the heart, write on her cheek.   and it is a pleasure to discover the heart seen in the very moment.. like on a sandwich, or in a spill, etc.   -but equally wonderful to discover hearts that have been write in front of your face, -for how long? just waiting for you to notice...   

is it possible you are surrounded by love, everyday, every where you go and you just haven't noticed?  -yes it is.

love you grandma!   xoxo

Sunday, July 05, 2015

"Happy Birthday America!" photo by (me!) ~mamarazzi..

..another treasure from the archives...

Saturday, July 04, 2015

"Does Great Britain have a 4th of July?" asked (mr crist!)

i loved him; love him still..   also, somewhere up there in heaven..

Mr jerry crist..  My 4th grade.. and then 5th grade...  and would have been 6th grade teacher..  only they said in order to prepare me better for Jr high.. I should not have the same teacher 3 years in a row..

/even though I thrived under his teaching, and struggled under the other..

-this does not factor in apparently.. but ..  Let me not get lost there..

& instead enjoy the memory. 4th grade I think it was..

and he taught us all about why we celebrated the 4th of July.. Which to us had nothing to do with wars or history or america..  And everything to do with  "no school!". And " fireworks!"

anyway.. after he taught the lesson he said,

"And so,  -does great britian have a 4th of July?"

and everyone one of us who was paying any attention..

3 out of 30.. or so,

We go, "nooooo!"

And then he said,  "yes they do!"

and we sat there all..  ?!?

"Who can tell me why?"


and then he said,   "well does Great Britain have a 3rd of July?  and a 5th of July?"

and I love him for many, many reasons..  but that was one.

"heres to you Mr crist!  I still remember... "

dear patrick henry.. from (me!) sandra, tvgp

if you were here on earth, and if mckays pub were open..  im quite sure we'd be toasting with a cold one..  

"to liberty!"

-the only pattern more consistent in humanity than slavery to liberty is death to life.. 

/and we 'cheers!' to that..

and i don't quite have it all articulated out.. and my vocabulary needs some work.. but..

the human spirit is buoyant isn't it.. 

in its natural state.. 

just like buoy in the ocean..

if you take something large and heavy enough..  you can in fact force the buoy below the surface and keep it under water.


all relative to size..  and weight..  Etc.

but the buoy does not lose its buoyancy under pressure; it remains buoyant  -it is not at all the same as an inflated balloon being popped..

the buoy..  the very second the weight is removed..

Write back to the top!


Im going to retype your famous speech here.  1. -because I have the day off and I can..  2. Because i think its awesome!!

The war inevitable, march 1775

they tell us, sir, that we are weak -- unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger?

will it be the next week, or the next year?

will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? 

Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction?

Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

Sir, we are not weak, if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power.

Three millions of People, armed in the holy cause of liberty,

and in such a country as that which we possess

Are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us.

Besides Sir, we shall not fight our battles alone.  There is a just God who presides over the destinies of Nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us

The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant,

the active,

the brave.

Besides Sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest.

There is no retreat but in submission and slavery!

Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston!

The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat Sir, let it come!

It is in vain, Sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace! Peace!  --- but there is no peace.

The war is actually begun!  The next gale that sweeps from the North will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms!

Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that Gentlemen wish? What would they have?

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God!

I know not what course others may take; but as for (me!),

give (me!) Liberty or give me death!


K.   Wow Patrick!!   that really is one for the history books!

Friday, July 03, 2015

The Heart(s) Seen.. everywhere all the sudden! by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-now, the thing is, i have seen this torn wallpaper almost everyday for how long? long time.. and i have never noticed a heart shape..  and now all of the sudden.. I spotted one.. then two, then three, four..    they've all been here all along..   but i am just now today -aware- of their presence.. 

In Butte, Montana.. it is "The 3rd of July!" by (me!) sandra, tvgp

like, i know its the 3rd of July here too.. but the reason I put it in quotes.. is because for reasons that are still a great mystery to (me!)..  in Butte, Montana.. they celebrate "The 3rd of July!"

-not "The 4th of July!" like us more normal and conformed Americans..

also.. here in my neck of the small city woods..  we have what is commonly referred to as "safe & sane" fireworks...  and actually, they do not even sell fireworks in pleasanton, California..

you have to drive to our neighbor city, dublin if you want to purchase your very own fireworks..

the rest of us 'safe n' sane' types, like (me!).. we leave that kind of thing to the professionals..

our NORMALish branch of the family, here in the bay area, -we will sit on a blanket at a local school, bring snacks,  -this allows us a view of the spectacular fireworks show the professionals put on at the nearby Alameda county fair..

my brothers branch of the family..  'Un~safe & In~sane'

if you want to know what the 3rd of July is like in butte, Montana..

-I can't tell you.

not because I haven't been there.. I was there..

its just that .. I was like,

"My God..  are there absolutely NO LAWS whatsoever about fireworks here?"

i mean, the entire community is in on this..   like it ain't no thing..

kids of all ages..  with fireworks of all danger levels...

lighting up the entire big night sky..

-beautiful yes..  yes..   and fun.. yes.. Yes..  

I could see everyone else was having the time of there its-gonna-be-a-short-lived-lives..

but "oh my God.. that kid is near a car.. with a gas tank!"

"that one just..  

-I could hardly watch I was so nervous..

then when I saw that 3 year old smiling all big with his very own bulldogs, i think they're called..

i aged 6 years and surrendered to the indoors and just sat there praying..

and good thing I did because.. when it was all said and done..

-nothing but giant smiles & good memories from everyone who participated in the unsafe/insane fireworks block party...

so.. " Happy 3rd of July!" to you crazy people..

You go ahead and have fun.. 

/... i hold these truths to be self-evident.. that all men are created equal.. and endowed by our creator with certain unexplainable writes..

life, liberty, and the freedom to set off your very own fireworks..

or not.   -you can just watch trained professionals.. 

-whatever independence & happiness means to you.

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-and this is one of those occasions where ive had repeated exposure to this area of the wall near the window..  but just now, this very morning; -noticed.  -and now i can't believe i didn't see that earlier..   and then once you do notice; you can't not notice..

Thursday, July 02, 2015

no, i KNOW its (ray orrock!)

im not guessing.. i know.  -let me explain..

even very highly spiritual people doubt their own gifts; very common.

-the reason..  /place rest of this in kevin harts voice and rhythm:

"-the reason, ..i'm 'bout to tell you..   the reason you see, is because..

you can't prove it.. can't prove it in a court of law..

" you hear voices?..".    -how come we can't hear no voices?

imitate the voice you hear.. come on. we gotta hear this..

(Bad imitation verbalized):    "did you know the court can appoint you a psychiatrist..   -I think we need to appoint this girl a Sci-fi-entist..    -whatchoo talkin 'bout voices..?

like the one that tells me i can't have no birthday cake..  ?  -that's not a voice.. that's my brain sister..  sees everything I ate all day..  the double serving of bacon at breakfast..  the double cheeseburger for lunch..   yeah.. I hear voices too! come to think of it..  " better not eat that birthday cake..

can you all hear that..  -sounds just like that voice SHE just made, don't it.. "Better not eat that birthday cake.."

-yeah,.. Shit..   Maybe that's comin' from my stomach though..

-anyone here ever have their stomach talk to them?  All... gru-owl-gru-...  /stomach sound effects..

maybe you're not crazy after all..  Maybe you just think you hearin' voices in your (points to head..)

but its really (points to stomach)..  your tummy talkin'

-yeah..  everybody got a talkin' tummy..."


point being..  we have no way to prove; no way to provide audible evidence; no way to record; no way to duplicate; no way to reproduce or manufacture or re~create these experiences.

-they just kind of happen if you are 1. Open, and 2. Paying attention..

so, sure.. it is my experience i heard from ray orrock. but i can just as easily come up with a secular counter and carry on..

EXCEPT!   -and sing here:  ".. can I have a witness...."

BECAUSE! -just this very moment my hand wrote

THE LAST LINE.. THE CLOSING THOUGHTS... of a humor story that is to be called, Humble Pie..

and!  "I DO NOT WRITE THAT WAY!".  -my process, with only very few and rare exceptions

is to WRITE a FIRST LINE, a FIRST sentence; and then everything flows out after that...

RAY ORROCKS process is to come up with an ending.. and then fill in the top...

so.. when I just now wrote the ENDING..   that's not (me!); that IS (ray orrock!)

its as if he picked up on my ... doubt..  

and sent confirmation. I feel entirely validated by this experience..

and look forward to writing Humble Pie my next day off..

I do already know the premise and will share that here;make the process transparent..

ENDS with  ".. the only exception being chocolate; if chocolate did not already exist, -something tells me

I would

on pure instinct alone..

figure out how to [variable here used in first part of story; repeat this pattern]

I.e.,   figure out how to fly a jet.  /because earlier in story I must explain part of the reason I stay so humble is because I don't know how to build a jet, or piolet a jet; or how a jet can even fly in the first place..

and this will be followed by 3 or 5 things I have no idea how to do, and would never figure out on my own..

and all things I mention going forward in the story are a set up for going backwards..

where going backwards is going to have me accomplishing the un~ accomplishable when it comes to discovering chocolate..

and somewhere in the body of the story I must confess and then question..

if chocolate bars were not already invented.. let's say they didn't exist in the market or any stores...   /etc.


so.. once again, before I close.. let me recap:

I thought I heard rays voice.. shortly after desiring a picture, I landed across one, .. I revisited my profile of him.. there were some telepathic communications of which even I can find secular reasons for..

but then just now..  To suddenly have the impulse to write a last line for a story..

which is his process; not mine.

-I can't ignore; secularize; or brush that off..

that's ....    ray.

"thank you friend!".    -see you someday...