Tuesday, July 31, 2018

The Attraction was purely physical -for (me!) sandra, tvgp

that is my confession  -the attraction was purely physical.  pulled, with magnetic force toward those leaves..   then I had to touch and stare..  

it was only after the physical attraction that I desired to learn more

and the more I learn about this tree; the more I want to learn more about this tree!


* I am not alone in being awed by it.   it is already regarded as one of the most distinct and beautiful of all deciduous trees    -I will not go on here, about how human beings of all walks of life share in common certain criteria/recognition of the beautiful.   nor will I go on here, about how beauty in nature, vs. beauty of humans   -well, only to say, one is culturally influenced and one is spiritually influenced..      /force myself to STOP

* THIS TREE IS A LIVING FOSSIL.  THE OLDEST TREE ON EARTH!  a link to the dinosaurs  -earliest leaf fossils dating (depending which website you visit)  250, to 270 MILLION YEARS AGO!     /and my second confession, is that I can write that number, and I can read it, and I can say it out loud..   but I do not  -comprehend- it properly.  I just know it =s a very long, long, long, time ago

*  it is a real survivor!  apparently resistant to a long variety of potential diseases other trees fall prey to

*  it is the opposite of 'high maintenance'   -thriving with little fuss..   in nature, in cities..

* prefers  -but does not demand:  full sun/partial shade

* transplants easily and establishes without difficulty

* can live as long as 3,000! years    

*   -rediscovered in 1691 in China and brought to USA in late 1700's.

*  seeds/leaves are still USED IN MEDICINE throughout the world   /and, it can be a bit overwhelming researching that further..       a ton of sites with conflicting information..  seems once one person claims medicinal benefits of any kind; everyone claims medicinal benefits of every kind.

*  both female/male, but with no living relatives    -and the preference for planting/owning is males, because apparently the females have some blooms/nuts with unpleasant odor      -the ones ive seen must be male, because I noticed no odor/aroma at all, of any kind

and what an intuitive contrast, because with its leaves being so pretty, you would imagine a lovely perfume aroma if there is anything at all..

* it is, from what ive read  -popular with Buddhists, monks..

and there is so much more to read and learn and sort through..

but I have it in my mind, that I would like a bonsai of this very pretty, very intriguing...



Monday, July 30, 2018

Dear Robbert Dijkgraaf... from (me!) sandra, tvgp


narrator:   … leading theoretical physicists are trying to solve the problem Einstein never could.   -finding a single set of rules that applies to both the cosmic and atomic scales.  a unifying theory. the holy grail of physics.

dijkgraaf:  …   still trying to capture the laws of the universe..   from the very small to the very large in a single equation.  the brightest minds are working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week struggling to grasp the great mysteries of the universe.   we are driven by the same dream:

-that at some point we can capture everything in elegant mathematics.


(me!):       the elegant equation you are seeking:

on your chalkboard   first quantify it, and then..  -try and remove it; minus it; negate it.     and after that experiment, see what happens when you multiply it; exponentially 

it is the spiritual law that unifies everything and everyone. and it's what God is!

1 John 4:8 

it is not an equation.  it is a word.  and the word..     was made flesh.

the holy grail of physics:    love.

your welcome,   in Jesus name,    love, ~sandra


CH =  I AM

Sunday, July 29, 2018

Big Basin Redwoods State Park -day trip for (sexy! and ~tops!)

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 as interpreted by (me~) sandra, tvgp

or, as I like to write:Re-JOYCE  always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.


unfair favor



Thursday, July 26, 2018

Playing Catch Up With My Dreams (me!) sandra, tvgp

I listened last night to Bishop T.D. Jakes, PLAYING CATCH UP WITH YOUR DREAMS episode, online: Write It. Read It. Run It.

and it inspired me to repost my vision board from the archives

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

For Sale By Owner... CH's for (me!) sandra, tvgp

i'll be selling my jeep blue see soon.  
 rick was kind enough to pick up some signs for me. "Thank You!"

CH = 


Prettiest Leaves as seen by (me!) sandra, tvgp

of course, I have my great affection for the tree on foothill; tree majestic, I named her, and have taken many pictures.  and I remain in awe of the 300/400 year old valley oaks at alden lane

and I just love trees..

but among the trees I love

I am most drawn to this one

I just think it has the prettiest leaves you ever did see

and they change color with the seasons.   -and they feel lovely to the touch also, thin, light, pinstriped textured, cool, soft, gentle..  and yet.. strong/solid


"QUARTER!" CH for (me!) sandra, tvgp AKA: SHE AKA: ~s.c.

pennies has it's very own..

then there is the quarter.  most I can pull up on my own, is that squidmann once wrote about.. and it was funny..   what amount of change are you willing to bend over for?

so, turns out the story is in his first book  /which,  may I mention,  is one of the books in my autograph book collection, in boxes, in storage


Bending Over For Quarters

What are you willing to bend over for? OK, I should rephrase that. Today I think I advanced into the next phase of my life. The Ages of Man have been described in the Bible, Shakespeare and in a lot of stale fortune cookies. And we all know the answer to the enigmatic Riddle of the Sphinx. If you don't, raise your hand. (You don't know The Riddle of the Sphinx, do you? And you're just gonna sit there and not say anything, and hope you don't get called on before the bell rings. Well, you're only cheating yourself, Mister. Takes you back, doesn't it?)

Well, over time I’ve come to learn that the stages of our lives can be measured in a very clear and simple manner: How large does the amount of money you find on the ground have to be before you'll bend over and pick it up? I'm sad to say that today while Christmas shopping I looked down and spied a shiny new dime winking right up at me. And I just walked past it. And so a new stage of my life begins.

Pennies, of course, are a joke. They're worthless, annoying and I actually throw them away. Yup, right into the street. (A lot of times if I'm with someone they get really pissed off when I do this. "You're throwing money away!" they whine. It's great! Where else can you annoy someone this much for two or three cents?) And who picks up these discarded pennies? Right, kids. Fresh- faced and rosy-cheeked, they're still in the first stage of life and will stop whatever they're doing to bend over and pick up a penny. God bless the energetic and flexible little bastards.

I don't recall when I started ignoring nickels. I'm sure it was long after I stopped being a kid. Hell, back then you could still get a full size Hershey bar for five cents. What kid is going to walk past one of those?

Today, of course, I stepped over a dime, but it's a different time. Had there been two candy bars lying there in that mall, who’s to say? Still, I'd like to think I'll still be bending over for quarters (doesn't that sound just awful?) for many years to come. A quarter still carries some power, though offhand I can't think of anything a quarter will still get you. Peep shows? Nah, most of these places have switched to dollar bill machines. Or so they tell me.

Is there anyone out there under the age of 90 who will not drop like a starving pelican after a salmon (Pelicans eat salmon, right? Don't make me go look this up.) if he spots a bill of any denomination lying on the ground? Hey, if you find yourself walking past a ten or a five or even a single, it's about time you slipped into your p.j.'s and kissed your loved ones good-night. I gotta believe there's a serious dirt nap coming your way in the not-too-distant future.


and just for the record..     I left that quarter write where I saw it

parking lot; lucky's grocery store


and just for the record; repeating

I must experience 100 CH's a day..

and choose..   open/close/pass..

Prelude to AUTO pix by (me!) sandra, tvgp

honey, I wore out the battery in my camera 2 days in a row!
had my camera not stopped; I would not have stopped taking pictures

I have over one hundred to sort through, edit..

AUTO = Art Under The Oaks

and this pix has several CH's.. but first one to come to mind:  anniversary of petite sirah, bday, jim concannon; father of...

lots of pix of visits to concannon over the years..   friend/family visits, picnics, bdays.. mother's day.. just because..

it is among my favorite wineries in Livermore


Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The Heart Seen.. by (squidmann!)

per email:

Had to act fast on this one. Barely had time to pull camera out of my pocket, turn it on and shoot before this cloud turned into something else!


Remarkable Squidmann!   and among my favorites, -the time sensitive ones..   great catch!

awesome addition to the heart seen..        xoxo ~s.c.

A Very Sensitive Word to (me!) sandra, tvgp

there is a song
by ed Sheeran
called dive.

in it, he sings, "don't call me baby, unless you mean it"  and it is emoted to perfection.  you can hear, 'don't toy with my heart. I love you madly. I am very vulnerable'    you can hear all that, when he sings, "don't call me baby, unless you mean it"


The way he is sensitive to the term of endearment, baby, in that song; I am sensitive that way to the word 'home.'

do not use that word lightly with me.  do not toy with my heart.    home = something real..
I do not use that word casually

do not refer to YOUR house, as my home unless you really, really mean it


so, the first time my sexy, said  'welcome home'   all casual, when I pulled into his gargage

my heart blocked it. entirely.  I shrugged it off..

and then the next time; I less successfully blocked it.

and when I saw it written..     

and when he said it the next time I came over..


one day, I just politely said I had to use the restroom, and went in there and cried.

but only a little bit.


post divorce, when my children were with me, at a rental (not my home)   -I just identified my rental by street name, or duplex.  so permanently, profoundly aware it was not my home.

and since I moved out from where my children's dad lived  -even though, technically, it was their ho....

I refused to use the word.  I identify it by street name.    -because, if I am not there..  it is not really..

and, having moved 30+ times over my life time..

rent here, rent there..      all properties owned by others; landlords

renting a room from carol   - carol's house
renting a room from my sister   - my sister's house she was renting..
renting a room from juju   - juju's house
I am currently staying at my mom/rick's house...

I cant remember..   going back, back..     even married, it was always, internally experienced by me as john's house; not mine.   he bought it himself when he was 27 I believe; long before we met and married


I do not use the word casually.   and of course! have prayed..   and prayed..  and prayed...

my own home.   a place I can call MY home and have it be real..

and experience low levels of guilt.. that my home ownership prayer might somehow be an expression that I have not been grateful for all the places I have had shelter

I have had shelter provided continually; graciously.  and provided by a number of wonderful and generous and loving people


a place I can willingly, honestly, accurately call my very own home...


like, john..    Robert purchased his own home  -long before we met...    lived married/divorced there..  raised his children...


he is lovingly inviting me into his home...


I am aware there is an emotional/spiritual element; a number of things + time + guidance..

because it is internal

an internal knowing; a feeling:     his home vs. our home (for me)  and my home vs. our home (for him)

but this entire post, I hope brings heightened awareness; the impact of that saying heard so often from people with the gift of hospitality

"make yourself at home"


I sing..  "don't leave me home notes...   unless you mean it...      don't call it our home.. unless you believe it.     so let me know the truth..   before I dive write into you"


from a Christian perspective:  none of us are at 'home' on earth; heaven is our true home and we all return there

 'in this world, but not of it'

and while we're here  -the salt and the light

manifest fruits of the spirit


Are You Inviting Me To Live With You? clarifies (me!) ~tops

Do You Remember? 
when my sexy said to me  -when he committed to me

when he said he would not be sleeping with or dating anyone else

and I had to check with him about that, the following day

because, it is not only alcohol that can intoxicate

sometimes you can just be under the influence of a great day, or a wonderful song..

an especially good meal, or physical ecstasy


well, while we were in cancun  -my sexy invited me to come live with him.

I had the exact same reaction  -

like, are you sure?

write now we are intoxicated by the ocean, this vacation, the sun
it's all so romantic and relaxed and fun..

i'm going to check back with you about that invitation when we are sober and out of this environment


and then I got to thinkin' how awesome it would be..

to have a place to put my autographed book collection!

to get them out of boxes in storage

-where I can see them!  every. day!


when I checked again with my sexy.. and mentioned my books..

this revealed a number of things to me


and in a few months..

I will reveal them to you also. 

"That's it! Galatians 6:9!" as experienced/interpreted by (me!) ~tops

the blessings have been back to back, front to front, side by side, and then some.

so when I heard Joyce Meyer mention Galatians 6:9, write away I was like,
 "that's it baby!  we are having our due season!"

and what I wrote to my sexy in a romantic card  -is that, while I do pray 'a love like ours' for everyone

I am, at the same time aware; how rare..

and wonderful

so, "Thank You Jesus!"   and..

I can't say I did not grow weary; because I once was very weary indeed

I can't say I did not grow tired; because I have past up being tired and known great exhaustion

but what I can say 

I have kept going and I have kept doing good

and my sexy has over 26 years noble service, career + outside of work..


that's my interpretation of current events

hallelujah and amen.