Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Speaking of spectacular! (me!) sandra, tvgp

the owner Jacquie describes them as -waking up

"they each wake up at a different time..."


and having been there almost three years now..    I count it a huge blessing, just getting to witness these Vally Oaks throughout the year; the seasons..

one day you look, and not one leaf...

over which night?  not sure, but glance again..


and!  she has filmed, but not yet edited, part two  (hi! vanessa)

and I just learned part one is up and viewable:

ALDEN LANE NURSERY -the beginning

amen & amen

Terms of Entertainment as explained/ appreciated by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i must whisper it occasionally to myself      terms of entertainment      in order to continue to enjoy and allow myself to become immersed in any variety of movies, books, shows

it is a play on words from a previous life experience, which im pretty certain I have written about before    -pause to check


can't find.    it is a play on 'terms of endearment'  which is when the reality, and question,  hit most pronounced

what is entertainment; exactly?

-because I was working at Lyon's restaurant at the time:  1983   as a hostess, and there was a movie theater nearby.   as a result, people waiting for a seat could often be heard discussing the movies they were about to see, or had just seen

and one of the biggest blockbusters of the time:   terms of endearment.    almost all of the conversations I did not have to work at eavesdropping on,  were singing the praises of this movie

but then there was this one couple; man and wife, mid 50's maybe

and, their tone..     it was their tone, I remember their tone, expression, volume

and what they said went something like this   "how can anyone call that entertainment   -we lost our daughter to cancer.  I would never pay to watch that"


that woke me up.


and, can you imagine   -one group of people at a restaurant table gabbing up a storm about how wonderful...     "I would see it again..."     "I have to tell so n' so to go see this!"

and the couple who lost their daughter to cancer sitting at the table write next to..


but it is a deeply, deeply, rooted cultural practice; so deep, you can't even imagine the absence of it

     -would be the absence of entertainment itself, I suppose

one person's very real pain; another person's form of entertainment

one family never wanting to revisit a pain, ever!    -another family paying to see, in their free time, for fun


after that couple woke me up, I just paid more attention to what I personally could call entertainment; and what fell in the   -how can you call that entertainment?!  category

    trust me here..    that actress just got PAID TO PRETEND SHE WAS RAPED?!?!?


I could go on and on here with examples, but will cut to my most current whisper moment.

    -breaking bad.

Robert and I watched every episode of every season recently  -snuggling up, him post surgery/healing..   and save only a couple predictable/unoriginal threads, I found it one of the most original stories, cast of characters, arch/evolutions I've seen in a good long time

    -if you've lost someone you love to meth addiction; this is not for you.

I have to block out, how infuriating it must be    -this series being so wildly successful..   and knowing what I know about how devastating/destructive/hideous the real problem is in the real world

I have to block out, how individuals and families   -the enormous loss, struggle, pain; the intensity of, and longevity of,  their loss, struggle, pain..  which is REAL

when, the people acting and just pretending...  they are going home with big fat pay checks.

getting paid big bucks to just pretend, what is so real and painful for countless others..

    -you can see where I would need to whisper

terms of entertainment

something about doing that allows me to re-engage and just get lightly lost and enjoy the story for what it is

a story.

a very well written, highly engaging, original, creative, surprising...

amazingly paced...

spectacular!      it was spectacular! and we loved every episode; sexy and I


and I think we are living in great times when it comes to entertainment; movie-making

the format I grew up with, 1 - 2 1/2 hour movies, or 1 hour, 1/2 hr tv shows; occasionally TV series..  

but now,

to have that much time to develop a story, each character/their relationships to each other, each plot..  each thread..

great gift to writers  -and for the audience!

 to be able to watch  -taped,  entire series, without interruption..

   binge watch; is the current colloquial

and binge watch we did..  

and I would never sit in a movie theater for that length,

but snuggled up next to my sexy..   with popcorn, pj's..  in the comfort of our own bed..

    hours and hours, episode after "in 18 seconds.." new episode,   passed in what felt like minutes

and he was simultaneously healing the whole time..

so, "Thank You!" to everyone behind, around, near and in the scenes of breaking bad...  outstanding!


terms of entertainment.   "thank you Jesus!"    amen


I can safely mention here, minus an identifying name   -how recently I had a friend say to me

   -real life, mind you,

"I have a confession..    I've been lying to you..     I've been in rehab..    addicted to meth"


and, I knew they wouldn't do it...   the writers wouldn't do it..

but I did say to Robert..  my sexy

"the only way they could un-glorify this meth story, is if the son, walter jr.  somehow became addicted..

if they showed a slow progression  -and walter jr became an addict..   and they didn't rush his story along from drug to death, but really showed the pain the parents, and the family suffer..."


I think one of the lines in the show goes like this:    "it's a poison we give to people who don't care"

and obviously, I'll have to

terms of entertainment,   terms of entertainment,   terms of entertainment

    -because anyone who knowingly, consciously, gives or sells an addictive substance to anyone..


the Bible  -scripture does distinguish between people who stumble..

and people who CAUSE others to stumble..


and now I shall cast my cares and carry on   -hallelujah & amen

Monday, March 25, 2019

PROUD NEW MOM... (me!) sandra, tvgp

 there are both advantages and disadvantages to being someone's first

  -some magical combination of excitement, despite, or directly related to, lack of experience.

but, it reminds me of being a first time mommy   -how much I check on them...   hover..

delight at the smallest sign of growth, responsiveness; worry..    

getting enough water, sun, shade, rest...?

    -all this magnificent potential

and here is something I learned, as a mom of two, not one child..

the second time around,

you realize a certain amount of the growth, responsiveness, maturity

it takes place all on its own..    despite your mistakes and despite your every correct decision.

its very humbling..     when the realization hits

that in some instances; you cant take blame or credit..

we are at all times in collaboration with nature itself.

and the goal..     just want to make sure at all times..     I am doing my part to the best of my ability.


which is why I looked...     smiled, talked to them, and decided..

no extra water needed this morning we have more rain comin'


I won them at a staff meeting at alden lane  -raffle.    would have never purchased them on my own, for reasons that would take too long to name write now


let's call it a pleasantly unplanned parenthood


the rose did not have an identifying label or tag, so we won't know what it is until it blooms..

I have named** her..

I have named** him...

I have named my first rose,   wonderful surprise.

my pear tree, a 3 in 1, is still waiting for a name...  

but I do like naming things, it connects me in a way, non-named things do not enjoy


can't help..   once you learn about hybridizing..    to let your imagination wonder..

and when I recently caught the beautiful shimmer of an African violet in the garden store at alden lane..   a sparkle you can only see in certain light, from a correct angle, otherwise it seems non-existent..

but when my eyes landed on that sparkle..   oh!

so, my favorite rose is a josephs coat; and my favorite fragrance; neil diamond rose..

so, we have color, fragrance..  

but what if you could add a sparkle/shimmer to the pedal of a rose!!!

my God that would be awesome

hallelujah & amen


**    in keeping with the times/and to remind myself to write about this new term:    gender non-conforming.

Thursday, March 21, 2019

The Heart Seen... recent contributions beloved by (me!) sandra, tvgp


per email:  Help me! I can't stop seeing Hearts!

Yes, I’m now bringing my camera to the grocery store!

"Thank You Squidmann!"

...my dream is coming true...

***     ***     ***     ***     ***     ***     ***     ***


Friday, March 15, 2019

The Heart Seen... recent contributions from (squidmann! & spike!)

per email:

Sixteen years in this house and I never noticed this little gem in our backyard fence!

031    meanwhile, walking along Greyhound Rock Beach..


"Thank You!" so much...    love 'em..    and yes...  wonderful when we suddenly notice something that's been write there all the time..               xoxo  ~s.c.

Thursday, March 07, 2019

Favorite Epiphany.. experienced by (me!) sandra, tvgp

I remember it being a very exciting moment..

I think it was when I was living on St Augustine Street

when I realized for the first time..   

that when people say, or use the expression, 'kernel of truth'

that what it DOES NOT MEAN..  is 'a small/tiny amount of truth'

it has nothing to do with the size of the kernel


like, the microwave popcorn kernel..



and we've seen this a million times, yes..

in our own lives, raising children, 

or during interrogations

or court cases..  in real life and/or tv dramas

you can ask a certain question once, casually and the answer you receive is a lie..

but ask the same question, with a threatening tone

ask, under high pressure/stakes circumstances..


the truth pops out.

-fascinating how humans are designed, isn't it

truth is like a microwave popcorn kernel

-falls under a spiritual law category, because it applies to all of humanity
with no regard for year of birth/or place; or time;  race, finances, education, religion, etc.

but it doesn't apply to 'truths' across the board.. the microwave popcorn kernel

it seems to apply to 'truths' which for one, or any number of reasons
has a perceived negative consequence for the host

if we were to draw a picture..

inside/truth with negative consequence
outside layer(s)/lies; cover-ups

means more to hear  'the truth is inside there somewhere...'


in, Jesus is the truth, the way, the life's  name,   ~amen.

Sunday, March 03, 2019

BONIDE -notes for future post.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

CBS SUNDAY MORNING 2 of 100000000 CH's for (me!) sandra, tvp

I spy...

this space reserved (sexy! & tops!)

behind the seens    -birthday/valentines/surgery/davinci/small world stories in the waiting room/2 degrees of separation from carol/sexy's very inspired meals/nurse tops/applying what he's taught me..friendship visits..  purple books..   and, but WRITE NOW


my commuting experience has been entirely, and sublimely transformed.     shorter? no.   less traffic/accidents?  no.     new car?  no.    hired professional driver?  no.

but what happen is this:    a couple, or few weeks ago, there was an accident  (sign of cross/prayer) that resulted in my being on the freeway for 2 1/2 hours...

and during that, what felt like, 12 hours, I cannot count how many times, I hit the radio buttons because I didn't like a song, or didn't like lyrics, or didn't want to hear another commercial..

yuck/click..     yuck/click...        yuck/click...

and so, this made me very determined to figure out how to create my own playlist..  and also made me very willing to pay a subscription fee that would 1) eliminate commercials  2) only/exclusively play songs I personally seclected/approved    (and no longer, 'like' genres or more by same/similar artists, because very often, I do not like the lyrics/messages in songs which are similar to..

their current algorithms seems to ignore LYRICS/MESSAGES..   in favor of genre/artist..

anyway..   and sexy's recent surgery (thank you! to everyone from receptionist, to insurance, to nurses, to doctors, to davince innovators/designers, etc. IJN)    -this allowed me a chunk of time to dedicate to being very focused, and following through on creating a playlist..


"Thank You! Jesus..   & Musicians!  and Pandora!"    -because, sexy and I fumbled through my phone, and figured out,

more accidentally, than purposefully,

how to get my playlist to come on, through my phone, to my jeep speakers..  and

THAT! is what has transformed my commute into something...    

something so wonderful!!   I just dance and sing all the way to work...

and I had to laugh my first day back on the freeway,

"oh my goodness, I LOVE THIS SONG!"      /sing, dance; dance, sing...

and then,

"oh I LOVE THIS SONG TOO!   that's two songs, back to back...   awesome!"   sing/dance; dance/sing..

and then "A THIRD GREAT SONG IN A ROW?!?!"   -when does this ever happen?

/oh yeah..    of course they're great!  I picked em!

              "...  think I finally found my hallelujah...   good to be alive, write about now..."

it's by andy grammer     -one of 75 on my current play, sing, dance list


Magic Of Macy's -dawned on (me!) sandra, tvgp

… how the M in magic, and the O in of..  and the M in macy's   -spells MOM.     -I knew it all along..

my whole family has so much luck with this store...     too many CH's to link..   all good.

In Jesus, loves to $ave's, name..    amen.

finding the write audience... (me!) sandra, tvgp

you know how I love to tease my dad..   he's been tellin' the same jokes for how long?  and so when we brought grandchildren into the world for him,  -awesome!     he didn't have to change his material because he got a new audience.


finding the write audience is a trick..   part science, part art..  part the C's

and there are some (politicians, let's say)  -willing to change their message to suit the audience..

and some (comedians, let's say),  -who keep their material/message.. but have to change venues

I could go on, but you get it 

the common denominator being   -it's just magical when you get to keep your message/material and naturally have the write audience

for (poet's, let say)    -we are already starting out with a small % of the population.   there is a real reason for the shelf space devoted to poetry in any given book store, retail establishment   -digital or real world.    -for the amount of class space, hiring, for poetry instructors

mass and appeal don't tend to apply to poetry and poets.

but!  of the small % that do enjoy, love, listen, write, sing, read,  -feel poetry; answer the instinctive call


and, knowing this..

well, I never try to 'hold court' at any dinner or other social get togethers by reciting poetry..  my own, or anyone else's

I am as selective about sharing (reciting or listening to) poetry, as a nun is about telling sexual secrets


oh!  was I excited many, several years ago, when I met a man who literally, actually worked for the census bureau 


that CH's to my more recent experience, as an attendee at a bonide presentation..

I think my ant poem, should be on their packaging, the way quotes are on starbucks cups..

   we have a match!


and i'm not sure here whether my bonide post should be its own..  or continue here?

Daffodils & Dinosaurs & Dance Floors as remembered by (me!) sandra, tvgp

yesterday; I had a personal goal..   to re-find the man I met one or two years ago at the daffodil show at alden lane.    -reason being..   I was moved by his story..   but when I turned to help other customers and turned back to hear the rest of his story  -he was gone.   most I could remember was this:

its what I shared when I entered the daffodil show yesterday

(me!):   "hi..   do you, or does anyone here, - know a man in this society..  and he used to live in Oakland, and he was reading the newspaper one day.. and he didn't have anything else to do.. and he read about a daffodil show within walking distance from where he lived..   and even though he didn't know anything about daffodils..  he went..  and it changed his life.."

and before I could finish sharing everything I remembered, the very man I was talking to said,

"that sounds like me."    

and he did reiterate how it was that he came to see and learn about daffodils..  and how,  fast forward 30+ years..   here he is..   a hybridizer..

and he is invited here..  via comments.. to share his story in his own words..   /as is anyone from the society..


  -there is just something I love about bob's life story..    what an abrupt, unexpected, unplanned change in his life path occurred as a result of looking for  -something, anything to do..

and the 'what the heck' attitude...  responding to something within walking distance, that otherwise and prior held no real interest at all..

and what a passion/hobby/avocation it ignited...

how can that not inspire?      ... falls very much into the 'you never know' category...

and gets more interesting to me still, because..

starts out with a 'you never know'

but..    that mysterious way that we do know

we immediately do know, when we come across an object, person, place or experience, that attracts our time, energy and attention; that separates itself from the pass-up-able; ignorable; let-go-able..



and separate but the same..    my encounter asking the very man if he knew the man I was looking for..

and having it turn out to be him..

that CH'd write here:

dinosaur in Pleasanton


in Jesus,  I pray daffodil and dinosaur and falling in mutual true, loyal love on the dance floor experiences for everyone..

 name.   ~amen.

Add on at will started by (me!) sandra, tvgp

tHere are no keys; because there is no need for locks.  there are no passwords; because there is no information to hide or protEct.  there are no consumer reports; because there is no concern about fraudulent claims. there are no betrayals; becAuse eVeryone is trustworthy. there are no insecurities; because there is no human judgement or mass media manipulations. there are no bullies; because there is no need to dominate or intimidate.  there is no stealing; because there are no shortages.  thEre are no lies; because all is truth; there is no reasoN to ask "are you for real?"     -there is no cheating on any tests ever..   because