Thursday, March 31, 2016

Public "Thank You!" to ( tom cushing!) from (me!) sandra, tvgp

for the same reason I once thanked johanna vollhardt, assist. professor, psychology department at clark university..

I today thank..  tom cushing, blogger for the Pleasanton weekly, and in particular for his current post titled, will rogers and mark twain meet the minimum wage..

tom, wrote, and articulated in a most rational, professional, clear and very organized and entertaining way, what I was trying to say, in my very awkward, emotional and  recent post, titled The Million Dollar Mark..

so, when I stutter, or cant quite find the words, I rather wish I could just look at, and point to tom,

"explain to them what I'm trying to say..."

and its as if;   -he did.    "thank you!"


and I believe by typing johanna vollhardt's name in the search bar of my blog here, you can see how she did a similar thing, on an even more complicated topic..

in my words:  STOP teaching oppression/slavery as unique to a given race! or place and time..   and instead..

as it is 2016!!   teach oppression/slavery..  as it has, and is, happening all around the globe..

when you teach, just the prejudice against blacks story, by itself..   your audience, on the whole, seeks revenge..

when you share and teach the pattern..  across the globe..   the holocausts, genocides, IRA.. TOGETHER   -  the pattern of oppression, violence, and ultimately freedom..  which takes place in many countries, and within many races, nationalities..    your audience, on the whole, seeks freedom for all..


"johanna..    please explain to everyone what I'm trying to say..."

and if you watch her interview with my Charlie rose from the archives..

its as if;   -she did!


The Great Math Mystery, as seen by (me!), sandra, tvgp

here is my confession..

/confessions..  can they be quantified?  -and from here on out, I plan to,  -after I complete this post, go back and bold each word   -asking that question:  can this be quantified? do you see pi here?

it is with great love for physicists, numbers people, scientists, and all people smart enough to attend those ivy league colleges, that I repeat the following:

it is ridiculous to try and reduce God
into a simplified mathematical equation
to entirely leave God out of ANY equation
is an error of even greater arrogance.

so sincerely,   and with love,  
  ~sandra, tvgp.

  now, my confession, is that when I watch these shows, NOVA, or something on PBS, where I know I'm going to be listening to smart people  -secular smart people, discuss the entire world and all the people in it as quantifiable..      when I know I'm going to be listening to people who do not believe in God but do believe in numbers..

I don't exactly arrive on the chair in front of the TV with an open mind and/or heart... 
about the same way a skeptic scientist secular  type doesn't visit his or her friends church with an open mind or heart either..

so, my biases..    life-saving biases, I might add..   as a Christian are on the table.

  -so, you know how a math savant can almost, with computer like speed, speak out the correct answer to a very complicated math problem..   -and when you ask them how they do it, they cant quite explain..  they just know

well, when during this show they posed the question:  is math invented or discovered, in that same way..   I answered correctly, instantly..  because

I just know.

ALL of math, and numbers, and pi..       discovered not invented.    let me see if I can come up with a good analogy:

I do always like to ask smart people...   did you invent yourself?  your body, heart, muscles, blood, heart, eyes, brain.. ..  sentient nature...   your talent and gift as a scientist...  are you taking credit for that?  have you not recognized it came with the package you are in...?     but let me return..

I'm not sure if this is good or not, but lets take a masterpiece painting.  did the masterpiece artist invent the canvas? the paint? the paintbrush? color? paint? easel? effect of light?  light itself? hues?  -did the masterpiece painter invent?  or did the painter... who arrived on this planet as a painter by the way, or else, they would not be innately attracted and motivated by the instinct to paint..   did they invent a masterpiece?

what I'm trying to get at...  is that a whole lotta contributing factors already exist for the masterpiece painter in order for him or her to paint the masterpiece itself.   when the very first human discovered color; mixed primary colors...   do they take credit for inventing a new color?   -I would argue, the new color already existed; waiting to be discovered; with the potential for being discovered...  -no light; no color..   no eyes; no see...   no instincts; no discoveries..   no curiosity; no experiments..

pause to consider all the factors, criteria for color to exist, and humans to recognize it to begin with..

no human invented color.  just as no human invented light, or invented electricity, or invented gravity, or invented mass, or invented motion

all of our greatest scientists who get and take credit for inventing are actually discovering what can be accomplished from matter and materials which already exist.   it is mostly a problem with our limited vocabulary..    how we define and use, invented vs. discovered.  created vs co-created...

in fact, every single thing a human does is collaborative; even when they do it  ~alone; isn't it..

but, it is with love, that I say..  and see..    -well for me, it appears as arrogance..   unintentional, and sometimes subconscious..   but

the world is populated with people who arrive, out of the womb, with many different, talents, gifts, innate instincts..

it is too long a list, but..  some will be gifted with the instinct to transform an apple into apple pie, or applesauce,    -myself..   I never had such an instinct or curiosity? if only people like me existed, the apple would be eaten as an apple, and never get transformed into anything besides cut in half, or in fours, etc.

some are born with the instinct to create...   the auto-matic apple slicer..     predesigned with even number of slots, and blades which..   push!  and you have your apple all cut up beautiful and ready to serve..

some are born with the instinct to identify the apple, name it..  know the tree, categorize species of apples..  granny smith, Fuji, ...   

some are born with the instinct to figure out how to mass produce...  cross-breed...

I could go on and on, but the point I want to make..  is that out of all the people I have met and talked to over the years..    I need to pick on scientists the most, for taking the most personal credit for their innate instincts, gifts, and talents..

you can take credit for discovering and using them; yes..

but honey..   you did not invent your intelligence.


now, let me also say here this:  especially and sincerely to:  Professor, Max Tegmark, of MIT

Our world is not either/or, but AND

our world is physical AND spiritual.   our human bodies are not either/or, but AND

our human bodies are flesh AND spirit.

here is your assignment:

quantify the fruits of the spirit:  love, peace, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

quantify good and evil.

quantify selfishness and generosity.

quantify forgiveness, mercy, grace

quantify narcissism and selflessness..

quantify PTSD..   not how many people have it; we can arrive at a number there; quantify its effect on the human spirit and quantify how to overcome and conquer..

  -one parent utterly abandons its new born baby..    leaves and never returns.
  -another parent will fight to the death to protect their newborn..

quantify that behavior..    quantify temptation;  quantify righteousness..

when a human being matures, evolves, grows into a humanitarian..  and uses their life to bless countless others

vs. a person who dies a stubborn, lonely, addicted mess...

quantify   -quantify faith.  quantify the awe factor..  

I believe..

/quantify believe vs know

I believe you will find there are seen and unseen things in our universe which numbers cannot explain..

and the fact that the earth, solar system, gravity, etc. all existed before humans arrived, makes everything in it, and around it  -a discovery.   

and isn't it the most exciting thing to make these discoveries!   -how exciting? quantify that..

quantify how painful it was to have polio, -to be the loved one of someone with polio,  -quantify how exciting it was to discover a cure for polio..   vs. how exciting to discover what combines with what can create an atomic bomb...

  -so much, so much I know...

start here:  quantify the power of forgiveness.

In Jesus, and the Holy Spirit...      in words AND numbers...   in physical AND spiritual...   in flesh AND spirit


Wednesday, March 30, 2016

The Million Dollar Mark ..for (me!) sandra, tvgp

i must stop a moment and celebrate...  over a million visits to my blog!! woo-hoo


k, now,

actually what i am experiencing in this very moment, is a belated irritation which is resulting from a very brief conversation that took place several days ago..

what happens, is that i am a great listener, and very slow processor...   so i will listen,  -and perhaps even know intuitively and internally; i might have an immediate response inside me

but it competes with many other things going on...

apparently, at a subconscious level, a lot of action is taking place, and then..

"DAMN THEM!   is that what they are teaching these children..  these young adults?!   -are you kidding me.."

-because what i recently learned..   and i shall provide here an upshot:

in the economics class on a college campus, they are teaching...

and, well, we know i am not a numbers person, and you can easily get a show-off professor type to put his spin..

but i know what they're teaching is a lie...

they are teaching..  what they are doing, is waging war, and telling horror stories, and sad stories, and demonizing minimum wage..

telling how ...  if a given employer didn't have to pay a minimum wage, why... he or she could hire more people..   so..  we'd have more people working..

/gag reflex here..

businesses are shutting down because of minimum wage..  

we cannot afford the actual, real life experiment here, but lets say, we removed minimum wage as a requirement for downtown Pleasanton..

instead of 1 person earning minimum wage  -full time salary, and still not being able to put on the table..    you'd have 3 people making less than minimum wage..  working harder for even less, and not only would they not be able to food on the table, they would not be able to put clothes on their back..

minimum wage exists for very good reason; do not be fooled.  what we have learned about human beings in general, is that...  generosity, doing the write thing, being fair, looking out for the whole, vs. the individual

well, our entire legal system, laws, police force, human resources, employee advocate groups, on and on..   they all exist because these things do not seem to come naturally to people..

they must be enforced.


do not be fooled young adult children on college campuses..

question this from every angle..!

the problem..  economically speaking...   is NOT minimum wage;

-spare me this BS, please

the problem is corporate and individual greed.

please study, research and learn the gap between what the lowest level employee is earning vs. the CEO's in a variety of corporate businesses..  contrast 1970, with 1980, vs 2016..

as a company succeeds and earns greater and greater profits..

what pattern do you see?

when a company is successful..    everyone is contributing on some level..

is the wealth being distributed in equal portion?   i do not mean, that the lowest level employee should earn the same as...

but as a %...  

what is the overall increase?   -for the CEO..     for the lowest level?


that's all for now..  

In Jesus knows better name,  amen!


please type  gap between   in the search bar of this blog.

addressing anxiety of unknown origins by (me!), sandra, tvgp

remember always what Diana nyad said; and has taught us:  /I paraphrase:

mind over matter is the luxury of a healthy mind.


I love being able to have short-cut conversations with people, where because we both have a common experience and understanding, there is no need to explain, or try to explain in detail..

my co-worker friend, recently shared about experiencing anxiety from an unknown source..  and related, that the last time she experienced something like this, she, shortly after, learned of the death of a loved one.

(me!) too.  on more than one occasion, but the standout in this moment, is when, I went...  and it seemed in the moment, and at the time..   -for no reason... 

but I just got up and went over to the couch-bed, and curled up into a ball.  -just laid there, for an unremembered amount of time, but, its like for a time, I just had nothing in me..

nothing to give the world..  no energy to do anything; no inspiration; and no ability to override the nothingness through force of will, or determination..

I knew intuitively to just surrender; just lay there in a ball, until it passed..   this nothingness..  -all energy vacuumed out...

and I later learned that my grandmother had died.   and my daughter too..   she also experienced something, unique to her, but tied to the same event..


  -that then, becomes its own, unique, identifiable,  internal sensation..    identified, just the way, my co-worker friend, kim, described..    "the same as when I learned  (name) died.."


 but that got us on the topic of anxiety in general, and, I am awful about memorizing passages..  I have only short-cuts in my mind, and to offer off my tongue..

but I make every effort to catch anxiety at its very, very, onset and fight back..

having lost so many years to PTSD, and well aware, I have a countable number of years ahead left to live, God willing..

I am very precious about each moment..

I do regard, for me..   anxiety as spiritual warfare..    -I say, for me, because I am aware, for a percentage of the population; anxiety has very physical, biological roots, which require medicines, and neuro-repair,   -these passages I'm about to share would have been of little, if any, help, at all while I had PTSD..

but for me..   it is at this point, its spiritual.   

when I begin to feel anxious, I do these things, and the order always changes, but:

HOLD EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE..    and, I have added on,  -and put it through the holy filter..
so I do not accept an anxious thought as a fact, or truth, or at face-value; I question...   I stop it in its tracks, and ask a few questions..  

CAST MY CARES..     I say to myself,  'I have no time for worries..  giving this to you God..'  -very aware I need energy for productive things..   and worry/anxiety is an energy zapper..

CAN AN HOUR BE ADDED...  i examine the productive power of worry..   if i worry all day about this or that..  will it effect any change?  is it anything i have control over, by worrying about it?  is there an actual action i can take to minimize or alleviate it?  -and where action can be taken; i do..  and where i have no control, i give to God

and then of course:

there is this passage;   so specific in its instructions there is no room for doubt or misinterpretation:

do not be anxious about anything.  but in every situation

by prayer and petition

with thanksgiving

present your request to God.


to which i can only say, "okay! thank you Jesus! amen"


best of times: google, bible verses on anxiety and worry..
i offer a teaspoon, but there you can feast.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

type his name in the search bar of this blog, for (me!) sandra, tvgp

Excerpt from poem 5, the beautiful fish collection, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Monday, March 28, 2016

"Victory Warriors!" favorite testimonies for (me!) sandra, tvgp

no secret we are enjoying every game! consciously aware of the legendary players, performances and season we are witnessing..

and i have many conversations with customers about the warriors..  often triggered by the customer either wearing a warriors shirt or cap..   or looking to buy a warriors shirt or hoodie from the store..

but my two favorite are these:

-the man who shared with me, that prior to now, if he were to watch basketball on TV at all...  he would only bother to watch the last ten minutes of a game, because that's all you need to watch to know who wins the game.    -and..  he raised his children with the strictly enforced rule: no TV during dinner..

Now, of course..  he watches the entire game; even if its on during dinner

  -and we talked excitedly about how, YES..  you have to watch the entire game to see the magic moments..  and they show up everywhere!  -could be in the first few minutes of the game!  -or .8 seconds before the half..  or at the start of third..  

but the thing about this remarkable team is that they just keep giving the fans one magic moment after another..

miracles! on the court..

and, of course there are the super stars..  curry, green, thompson,

but every player on this team is having their magical moments; everyone is rising to the occasion; every single one is contributing..

its such a privilege to be a fan..  

which brings me to my next favorite testimony,  -the gentleman who shared with me that he has been a ticket season holder since the 70's..

"I used to have to practically beg my friends to go see a game with me..   and then they would find some excuse, -give me some excuse why they couldn't make it...

-now my phone is ringin' off the hook"


and my sister and i are late comers for sure..  

/which explains why they finally started winning -write..  they needed us!   -but, i do feel especially happy for long time season ticket holders..     -what a reward for hanging in there!  -what a thank you!

In Jesus patient and glorious name,  -amen!

Sunday, March 27, 2016

~flawless. a poem, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

ah, yes

of course i see your potential.

i see it now

quite and very clearly

your full, fool, potential

... to find that one peace

of loose thread

that one peace of loose thread

as you undress me with your mind

~ my heart string; the one eternal, vulnerable, multi-colored thread

i was blind, but now i do see;

i see your potential

to find it, and in one night
with the gentlest of tugs


my made with love, beautiful protective coat of sew many different colors

the master~peace collaboration

5 decades of the slow, painful, mistakenly precise, creative process...

selecting the just write fabric swatches, the just write thread, the just write texture, the just write colors and patterns; hand-sewing and designing each odd shape and year and memory into its predestined position; perfect place

each mistake a seam; each good decision a patch; nothing wasted, tossed or thrown out or discarded

every single thing = every single stitch and my string theory:
its all used toward; combined with purpose to create

a life sew colorful, big and warm
sew peaceful, sew joyful

sew strong and sew powerful and sew influential

sew loving,

and sew, sew



yes.  i see your potential all write.

i can see it now; at 50

your fool potential

to find the one, singular, loose thread

in my made with love,  beautiful protective coat of sew many different colors

and with the gentlest of tugs

unravel, undo, unsew

and uncloak the naked mess..   

i see your potential all write; your fool potential

to   -and then, leave me cold.  distracted by the tempting wardrobes of countless others..  pretty knockoff jackets are galore

MY very real, made with love,  one of a kind, authentic,  beautiful protective coat of sew many different colors:


it is created, intentionally, with that one loose heart string...


the gentlest of tugs can, in fact,  u


where a Godly person




i woke up over you. a poem, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

took a gamble
played 21

and let your smile
win my heart

a lucky kiss,
a dream, a wish

you on top, and then we switched,
i woke up   ~ over you.

for more

"yes! yes! YES!"

got instead,
Less, less, less

  ~left my paper heart up on your table.

took a gamble
deck-aids ahead

got your call, and called you

tnew i kcab dna

under the spell of your sensual voice
your very quite intentional seductive words choice

felt in the moment, 'i have no choice..

"I have no choice!"

come on, God, do you hear that voice?!

prone to gamble
like i said,

~played my joker
to see us in bed

a late life kiss,
my dream, your wish

you on top, and then we switch

i long for more,

"yes, Yes, YES!"

my wildest card
~a broken mess

i spoke with God,
a prayer; request

if i...

can you...

and i passed the test!

my heartfelt prayer,
my plea, my pact...


-this is a fact:

i woke up

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Not as the world gives... a much greater gift, for (me!) sandra, tvgp

  -write in the middle of an otherwise miraculous day....   5 words from heaven!

gold has nothing on this..   fancy cars, luxurious vacations..  

they pale..  

i was gifted 5 words; delicious, perfect, layered, poetic,

in the order they appeared.

i stopped everything, and hunted down a pencil and paper.

i hand wrote them on scratch paper and tucked it in my back pocket.

i said,  "thank you!  THANK YOU! thank YOU JESUS!"

and continued on with the responsibilities of my day.   i did not, and still do not know, exactly when the window of time and creative energy will open to write the poem  -give birth to..  

create a larger life from just these 5 perfect words...

but i have felt perpetually at the 9 month of pregnancy since I received them and wrote them down..

i literally,  -can't wait!

and i already knew it was a HUGE gift; i already knew, not an ounce of doubt,

but when i pulled the scratch paper from my back pocket last night, and shared them with my sister...

her response was so immediate, so validating; she knew it write away too..

5 perfect words have been gifted to (me!), and the only way to express gratitude in equal measure, is to..

write a poem

and put these 5...   ~oh! Kiss tip of fingers... 

~these 5 precious, perfect, spiritually aerodynamic words

into the space..

they have always belonged.


-coming soon... 


"Thank you!" Jesus!   amen!  

John 14:27. 

Friday, March 25, 2016

fast forward... by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-im bullet pointing because i have already written in detail on these topics.   -but because i am a Christian, i do get a long itemized list of projections by others that are not true for me, as an individual..

and especially during political campaigns, people are stereotyped, grouped, profiled, etc. by the masses and nuance/individuality are ignored

i.e.   -there was a time, some time ago, when politicians could stereotype all blacks,

or, all African Americans...  

/i prefer black.. for the time being..  and white..  for convenience.. because i really have no need to be described as a

Irish, Indian, Scottish, English, ..... etc.  American.  

if you call me white female..  I'm fine with that..  but even that is sliping away... as I will address here shortly..

where was I?

-yes.  there was a time when politicians could kind of count on all blacks being democratic in political philosophies..

but in fact now, today,  skin color has no direct correlation with political points of view..   as varied as the hues of skin color itself; are political points of view..

from the politicians perspective...  insert the variable here, to see the formula:

before:  we can count on ALL (variable, blacks, women, latino.. long list here) being (specific worldview here).

now:  we can count on  ~most! of this (population) to be (this).

and..  on school campuses, in workplaces write now today, people are being taught and trained to ignore gender..

and everywhere, around the entire globe, there are interreligious, interracial, interorientation, interpolitical, intereducational, intereconomical, intergender

marriages of the heart taking place..  and babies being born..

i can easily fast forward and with one part sarcasm, and two parts empathy, say

' so how ya gonna lump us together now?   when there are no primary colors

when everyone and everything is a mix and a blend....

politicians need red, yellow, blue

but God is giving them..  infinite possibilities from...

[  purple?  democrat? republican? ...  light purple?  what is that color over there..  does it even have a name/label?  how do they vote? ]


i am quite a blend..

white, female, Christian..  

but im not. -white.
i do feel female... 
and as a Christian, you cannot lump me in..   as a conservative, that is..   i am also,

pro-gay.. proLGBT..   marriage
pro-freedom of religion..


pro-evolving humans...

pro-Jesus, pro-prayer, pro-friuts of the spirit



pro-amen! hallelujah! praise God!

The Heart Seen.. by (lee ann caldwell!)

- at the beautiful beach in Carmel, as she reached down to pet her newest dog, beppa, and say i love you..         ~  this rock seems to say, i love you too; doesn't it...        oh! you know what i have come to really love over the years...   God's perfect timing.     Amen!

BLTL community. mixed media by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Spiritual Armor.. as kinda remembered by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i have the fruits of the spirit memorized; but not the passage; not the books and chapter numbers where they can be located in the bible.

and i think i have the spiritual armor memorized in part..  but not the passage.   im gonna give it go, and then check how close i am:

shoes of peace.
belt of truth.
helmet..  salvation
sword..   holy spirit
breastplate..  faith...
now i'm gonna cross-check:

Ephesians 6:10-18New International Version (NIV)

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people


ah, not bad.

In Jesus eternal name,  ~amen!

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

"to Stupid Luck.." a toast and a prayer, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

My Will:  like, check this out.. I still have my period!  I'm 50, so I don't know how many more I'll have..  but I'm having one write now..

do you know what that means?!?!

THAT MEANS..  I can call the doctor and I can have my tubes untied..   -and we can make a baby!   you've always wanted one, haven't you?   let's do it!  I've got Obama care..   I'm insured...


His Will:   /for which I can only project:

-come over here,  hop in my bed...    i wanna...

/temporarily distract and numb myself from my unhealed, unprocessed pain..

WITH the INTENSE PLEASURES of a brief fleshly encounter...

/need I tell you, these are my words not his...


and THAT is exactly why when I pray about, and for, keith, I say..

"Please Jesus..  something about him makes me go like, entirely STUPID...   Big Stupid

I know better. 

So..  Not My Will Lord.  Not his Will Lord..

But your Will be done Lord Jesus...


and I've been holding true to the pact I made with God about not driving over there..

and I keep staying aware of how he makes me literally go stupid. 

and I know, in fact, I am not stupid.

but then I got to thinking about it a little longer..  and I thought..

I hope each and every person meets at least one person in their adult life time that makes them go this stupid.


you just might get lucky if you do...

in Jesus knows the game, name..   ~amen!

i contemplate here on king herod, (me!) sandra, tvgp

to belgium, with love.. from (me!) sandra, tvgp

mixed media, unmixed mind. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Isnt that grand! by (me!) sandra, tvgp

this is going to be a bit unorganized:   -first,

or last?

or at some point before, after or during the reading of this post:

Type the word   grandmother   in the search bar of this blog.


Now,  if i were to ask you, 'how are you feeling today, -happy or sad?'

-you would be able to answer, because we each come quite intelligently designed and created with some sort of something inside our brains that allows us to experience and interpret our feelings.

and i, along with an unknown amount of others,  also come equipped with some kind of something inside our brains that allows us to experience and interpret whether we are generating or receiving an idea, or inspiration, or communication..

and in this case, i have ~received~ this...   almost like instructions, as something i should write:

it is to be called, isn't that grand.

and the analogy is as follows:

you are using someone else's car... 

a company car, let's say,  -not your own car.   and you do something you know you are not supposed to..  like, using it for personal .. not business..    and you use it to go run some personal errands, and while its parked, it gets a visible scratch and ding..

your stress level escalates...    and your brain begins hosting a variety of stories, and explanations, and out write lies, and half truths, etc. as you picture and imagine yourself having to be accountable to your boss later that day.


in scenario 1:   the boss is a mean spirited, strict and stressed out, controlling, dictator type..    practically waiting to catch you doing something wrong..   and now has the ammunition...

in scenario 2:   the boss is your very consistently loving grandma; she is the type who knows, yes.. you'll probably use the company car for personal use on some occasions..   and she knows accidents happen...   and she knows..   well, she just already knows you feel terrible, and scared and exposed...   

in fact,   -in scenario 2:   not only does grandma know you used the company car for personal use...  and that there is a new scratch and ding..

she knows better than to even mention it.   -never says a thing..


next:   use your imagination to pretend it is now a couple days later and they need you to use the company car again..

you stay quite on purpose and on task this time..  only driving to and from where you were required to go.


is your internal motivation to do the write thing the second time around the same? -the same for the mean-spirited boss as the loving grandma?   or is it out of fear with the mean-spirited boss, and out of love and respect for the grandmother?

-motivation matters.

and God is like a consistently loving grandmother

-he already knows...    -he won't even mention it...

he gives you second chances...   many chances..

but God is not nearly as concerned with changed behavior as he is your motivation for changing it..

in Jesus knows you by name,     -hallelujah and amen!

Sunday, March 20, 2016

The Heart Seen... by (kim christensen!)

..  and is this not the very definition of a true beauty...   "thank you!" Kim...  Love it! xoxo

Its official... says (me!) sandra, tvgp

...  -tired of just talkin' about it...   i went ahead and moved in... 

anthropology, blackhawk plaza, danville, california.

-send my things...

"He Loves MY WORDS!". (keith!)

One false move costs an hour. as experienced by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i have no idea..  im on a different device write now because..

"what?!? -what the f just happen?!". /pardon me Jesus..

apparently,  i don't know what i did? i was blogging away and then i hit something..

entire screen went itty-bitty on me..  

tiny.  shrunk to invisible almost..

then i had to laugh because..  the undo button was so hard to find, I'd need a magnifying glass, and even when I did

it did not undo my suddenly shrunk view..

and how can I even read the tiny tiny print to exit out? Search for help?

and I sure can't figure out how to get it to go back

" GO BACK!".    "Go Back to NORMAL SIZE!"

..."please.  pretty please, with sugar on top..."

Nothing is working.  I'll probably have to reboot the whole Fing thing..

say it with (me!)

" was the best of times...  and it was the worst of times.."

Saturday, March 19, 2016

the heart seen... by (me!) sandra, tvgp

... speaking of cool beer...

ill be pouring again tonight:  with cool beerwerks for the brew crawl in downtown pleasanton..  and you know, i totally enjoy being surrounded by slightly intoxicated happy people...   so, "cheers!".    -type cool beer in the search bar of this blog.

friday night fights: music vs. image, as pondered by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-first, i must repeat:  the salt and the light of late night tv:

stephen colbert.

-now, if you are familiar you know about Friday night fights..

and if you are familiar, you also recently witnessed how they tested the power of music by playing the price is right music..

or i should say, the price is write, show theme song, with scary movie scenes in the background.

and for (me!), -the music was more powerful in that it did in fact override the scary; diluting its potential to frighten..

then i got to wondering about the reverse..

if i were exposed to scary music with happy, peaceful images playing on the screen..

does that formula still hold true?    or is it, across the board; hands down

music more powerful than image? when they are sharing the same stage...


What music will play under the stars? @ (barones!) wonders (me!) sandra, tvgp

-at the first sign...  when daylight savings passes and when it is once again still light out at 6 and 7pm...

barones regulars get the itch...   start the countdown..  

keep checking the website for specifics:

on what thursday in may will the live music begin?   what's the band line up?  for the season...

-motown sent me a text which essentially said,  'when will it start? my feet are starting to dance without me'

and i notice the same with myself...    i see it in my sister...

i glance it in customers, and passersby...

a growing inability to not move to certain music..

dance moves springing out of nowhere...

and my greatest curiosity is...  what will be the hottest dance song of the 2016 season..?!

the one no one can resist..  the one that packs the dance floor... the one that makes people abandon their place in the long drink line, or rush from the entrance..

the song that is so dance friendly, people don't waste time trying to find an individual to dance with..

they just get out there alone and dance with the whole crowd!

to date those songs have been:  blurred lines; happy; and last year, uptown funk..

i don't think I've heard the hot dance for 2016 yet...

but I do have a new favorite song to move and sing and dance to for sure:

good to be alive by andy grammar.

and since i also can't resist flirting with keith..

i sent him a text that said:  

you are my hallelujah.   

/she says with a smile.

In Jesus is the reason for all seasons name!   Amen!

"...   good, good..  

good to be alive...    write about now, yeah....!"

Friday, March 18, 2016

3 of 3. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

2 of 3. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

1 of 3. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

the heart seen... by (milton higgins!) in front of deans, in downtown pleasanton

-  and a big public "thank you!" to milton,  for taking out time to visit my heart seen exhibit at the first presbyterian church in livermore.

this heart was seen in front of the very famous and historic deans restaurant in downtown pleasanton.  -where i personally love to order the vegetarian omelet..  ~and have bacon added. locals know.. one deans omelet can actually feed a family of five...


-one of the single most rewarding and pleasurable results of having and sharing this photography collection

.. its conscious ignition power!  exposure turns the key, and people start seeing heart shapes they would have walked write past before...

and that in fact is a very solid formula:   -so extra important in this life   ~what we have exposure to...  

in Jesus loving name..   amen

the heart seen... by (milton higgins!)

..  ability to email heart seen picture from cell phone..  uncertain... so, we decided to just take a picture of him with the picture on his phone..   it is a rubber band on the floor of the restaurant he works at in san francisco,  -looped in a heart shape...  

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Verily, verily, i say unto you...

do not trade the rare, lucky, blessed, and organic..  for the ubiquitous, unfortunate, secular and man-made..

no matter how good it might temporarily taste!  

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

mona lisa, mona lisa... as seen by (me!) sandra, tvgp

if i had the creative tools at hand; and if it were quick and convenient, then the photo that would accompany this blog post would be of the famous mona lisa,  -but with a courage tattoo on her face; like mine.


i have had two encounters and conversations with men over the past 6 months, where the given man wanted to share with me..

his opinion, and analogy for why tattoos are...   wrong, or bad or unattractive

the first man was a dad of a young adult woman, early 20's, who was going to be getting a full sleeve tattoo..

he used the analogy that he thought tattoos were like graffiti on otherwise beautiful buildings...    why would you deface, or mark-up something so beautiful...  and, in his opinion,   -ruin it.

i explained that i understood his position, and, but, as an artist, i see our skin as an empty canvas for creative expression

and after he left, i thought about his analogy..  and i remembered my cousin..  also an artist and photographer, asking me to pull over in san francisco, so he could admire the graffiti on the side of a given building..   he knew the artists name...  and in general surprised me with both his admiration and knowledge of this rather underground artist community..

i thought about how much i love pleasanton's hotline you can call to report graffiti, and they will try and have it removed within 24 hours, and i have in fact called it..  and they have followed through..

and i thought about how for me, growing up in the area i did, graffiti was associated with gangs, and drugs and violence and territory wars...

and then i thought again about my cousin,  and how in some places, I found the graffiti impressive and intriguing, colorful and important..   and..  if not here..  where would someone with this creative gifting showcase and share his craft and talent?

and i thought about how limited and exclusive and capitalistic and cliquish and monopolized and saturated the art and crafts world is...

and i thought about choices vs. dictates...  and cultural rules and standards..  and stereotypes.. and projections..  

and where i ultimately landed is...  write back where i started:  the skin as an empty canvas for creative expression.  and we each are the sole owner of our bodies, and in adulthood, we each have the write to do with our own bodies and skin, what we want to do, by exercising the free will granted to us by our creator.   -and i thought to myself..  this dad is going to be much better off loving his daughter unconditionally and respecting the fact that her skin; is HER skin.. and her body; is HER body..     

and my guess,  -and it is only a guess..  is that if you asked him today, or in 5 years...  he would circle write back to where he began also...   tattoo as graffiti on an otherwise beautiful building.

the weakest part of that analogy for me, is that his daughter is not inking up someone else's skin without their permission...and an underground tag artist is not sneaking out in the dark of night and unknowingly, illegally tattooing her skin with his street name..

it is her skin, her body, and she is selecting the tattoo artist and paying to have this done..     nothing in common with graffiti there for (me!)


more recently..  /but remind here, two different men and several months apart..

a man compared tattoos to graffiti again, but his analogy was, 'when something is beautiful...  already a masterpiece... well, you wouldn't paint a mustache on the mona lisa would you?"

-no i would not...   

...go intentionally damage or even alter someone else's property illegally...

and i comforted him by sharing the other dad's opinion, and reassured him that he is not alone..

and returned again to my own opinion,  -the skin as an empty canvas for creative self-expression

so, my analogy would be..

well,   what did leonardo da vinci paint the mona lisa on?  

he started with an empty canvas.  -of his own...

in Jesus masterpiece of a holy name...  -amen!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Alden Lane photos by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Friday, March 11, 2016

Dear video game programmers... from (me!) sandra, tvgp

dear video game programmers
online advertisers:

here's how it should work:

i purchase a gun  /that's a good job creator..  cuz a lot of people are gonna want them.

then i hook it up to my phone, or laptop, or notebook, or computer,

and as the online ads pop up,

with people talking, or dancing, or making faces..

as it stands write now, i am forced to find someway to click it closed..

and then close another one,

and another one..

until i can read my article without a dozen distractions...

this is both annoying and boring

i say

"let's shoot them!"

we all want to

so, the ad pops up,

you shoot it closed,

and you get points!!

like, the faster and more precisely

you kill the annoying ad

the more points you get!

and then you can add up your points for discounts and prizes! 

i'm tellin' ya.. 
this is a win/win if there ever was one.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

...when it comes from the heart... as read by (me!) sandra, tvgp

safe to say, i would be considered the writer in the family; but i am certainly not the only one.. 
i think i just do it the most often..

but i have taught workshops, given presentations, lead seminars, etc., and in addition to my own writing, i have read countless poems, essays, stories, letters, etc. written by others, and offered my opinion on how a given piece of writing could be improved.

very recently, my sister asked me to read the rough draft of her testimony, which she will be sharing soon at our church, Graceway, in Pleasanton

it was handwritten on lined binder paper

and i could see, without even needing to read it word for word, but just from first glance:

that what she wanted to say had poured out naturally, and freely, and beautifully

directly on the page...   after page...    without any scratch this, move that, scribble through this, arrow shift that..

and when i did read it word for word...    it read exactly as beautiful as it appeared.  my professional opinion as a writer:   wow!  don't change a thing.

and that has been my consistent experience as a writer, and as a teacher, and as an editor:

when it comes directly from the heart,  -your only requirement is to honor the words as they come...

it always shows; i can read it, see it, feel it immediately

whether the words come from the heart; and whether those words were honored  -or questioned

doubt reveals itself in sentence structure; in the order; arrangement; in vocabulary choices...    it is revealed through interruptions in what would otherwise flow..

and as i read my sisters handwritten testimony

-there was no doubt

and i am left with no doubt, her testimony is a beautiful, powerful, one-of-a-kind, original and moving sharing that will contribute to her personal growth and healing; touch many lives and succeed in achieving God's purpose as written in the Bible in Isaiah 55 10:11

As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,

and do not return to it without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my Word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but WILL accomplish what I desire

and ACHIEVE THE PURPOSE for which I sent it.

In Jesus flourishing name,   ~amen! sister!   i love you!  i'm proud of you!

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

The big give away.. as told by (me!) sandra, tvgp

one of my cousins through marriage that I talked to at my family~reunion style birthday, is a teacher.  she was talkin' about how she grew up in a nice, safe, good neighborhood, but is currently teaching in a hostile, dangerous, and bad neighborhood.   one of her concerns was how the gang members dress.  she explained that it used to be gang members would dress in predictable colors/styles that allowed you to identify them as gang members pretty immediately, but today, they all just wear what they want to without any strict codes to colors or style, which makes it even worse to figure out who is a good guy and who is not..

-this got me to talkin' about the gang environment I grew up in, and I found myself laughing write away..

its not funny; I know.  its actually very serious, but the reason I was laughing is because it flashed in my imagination..    our gang, high & mighty, at the roller rink..  back in the day..

it is true.  I was in a gang myself.  jr high.

in my neighborhood, there were a number of tough gangs; genuinely threatening, mean, and hostile..

and they all had names, and they all had turf/territory wars on the street.

now, to be sure, me and my brother/sister, friends were not gang material, we needed only to somehow survive in an environment where gangs seem to thrive..

most of the larger gangs were made up of Mexicans who famously drove low-riders..  and were pitted against other gangs of the same and different races; and pitted against anyone who did not drive a low-rider

so, the white people with high-rider cars..   born enemies, you see.  low-riders vs high riders.

now, the low-riders, were a real kind of tough; the kind of gangs that are violent, with cold hearts, where one could be found at all..

-and as I mentioned; we were not..    we were forced to acclimate and survive.  that meant..  

that meant we had to create a gang of our very own.

and, so, what kind of things do you need to start a gang of your very own?  -write..

well, you need people to be in the gangs,  -so we gathered all our school friends, and anyone and everyone who went to the roller rink on Friday nights that drove a high rider, and any/all of my brother's friends who liked rock n' roll..

next, you need a name for your gang...   and i'm not sure who sealed the deal on this one, but at some point we all reached an agreement:

high & mighty.    high, fit for the high-rider cars, and mighty...   because...   we hoped it was some kind of threatening identifier..

so we had people and a name...

next we needed a wardrobe..       we needed 'colors'

so..   black!

black is a very tough color, write..      the other gangs were famous for black jackets..

we got ourselves..

we got ourselves...   ~matching black, short sleeve t-shirts.

yeah; that's write!  watch out!

now, the real gangs did wear the same colors; but..  not so match~y/match~y...

and, the real gang members were somehow known by their names, but never because they had them printed on anything..   

the real gang members were mostly known by name because of graffiti on cement walls; over street signs, and along the paths to school..    maybe cut into their skin; or tattooed..

but we..    we decided to be a little more,  -how shall I say?  blatant.

and it factors in here that at this time, my father just happen to have a t-shirt business at a couple local malls:   threads & treads..

so!  we all got our matching short sleeve black t-shirts and had our gang name printed on the very front so that the whole world would know..    so that there was no doubt!

-no doubt you were in the presence of a HIGH & MIGHTY gang member, and there were lots of us!  (12?)  and you better not mess with one of us!

and one of the places the big territory wars seem to take place, was in the parking lot of the roller rink on Friday nights..   valle vista,  now demolished.

so..   "everyone!  wear your HIGH & MIGHTY T-SHIRTS THIS FRIDAY!"     -and this all passed via word of mouth, because..   this was around, 1979, and way BC    /before cell phones and/or social media..

anyway..   we all wore our tough black matching short sleeve black t-shirts to the roller rink

and the big give away..

I mean, if you had any question in your mind whether or not we were a genuine threat to anyone,

it became quite obvious by our choice of font:   I mean, when I remember back, the girl gang members must have been the ones in official charge, because HIGH & MIGHTY was in...

rainbow bubble font.

yes.   please take a moment to imagine how threatening this must have seemed...  

a bunch of white boys and girls with matching black t-shirts, that said HIGH & MIGHTY in rainbow bubble font...      skating all fast and tough in small circles over and over again...

My God, I cant contain my own laughter when I remember...

it seems the equivalent of a computer geek entering prison grounds with a hello kitty lunch box.


there were fights in the parking lot..   it was ugly sometimes..   all that is true.

but we made it through

and that would be a blast of a reunion to have..    

HIGH & MIGHTY gang members in their 50's and 60's pulling up in hybrids..   roaring engines..  and trying to remember the secret handshake...   

in the parking lot of golden skate...   

In Jesus sweet and precious name,    ~amen.