Sunday, July 05, 2015

"Happy Birthday America!" photo by (me!) ~mamarazzi..

..another treasure from the archives...

Saturday, July 04, 2015

"Does Great Britain have a 4th of July?" asked (mr crist!)

i loved him; love him still..   also, somewhere up there in heaven..

Mr jerry crist..  My 4th grade.. and then 5th grade...  and would have been 6th grade teacher..  only they said in order to prepare me better for Jr high.. I should not have the same teacher 3 years in a row..

/even though I thrived under his teaching, and struggled under the other..

-this does not factor in apparently.. but ..  Let me not get lost there..

& instead enjoy the memory. 4th grade I think it was..

and he taught us all about why we celebrated the 4th of July.. Which to us had nothing to do with wars or history or america..  And everything to do with  "no school!". And " fireworks!"

anyway.. after he taught the lesson he said,

"And so,  -does great britian have a 4th of July?"

and everyone one of us who was paying any attention..

3 out of 30.. or so,

We go, "nooooo!"

And then he said,  "yes they do!"

and we sat there all..  ?!?

"Who can tell me why?"


and then he said,   "well does Great Britain have a 3rd of July?  and a 5th of July?"

and I love him for many, many reasons..  but that was one.

"heres to you Mr crist!  I still remember... "

dear patrick henry.. from (me!) sandra, tvgp

if you were here on earth, and if mckays pub were open..  im quite sure we'd be toasting with a cold one..  

"to liberty!"

-the only pattern more consistent in humanity than slavery to liberty is death to life.. 

/and we 'cheers!' to that..

and i don't quite have it all articulated out.. and my vocabulary needs some work.. but..

the human spirit is buoyant isn't it.. 

in its natural state.. 

just like buoy in the ocean..

if you take something large and heavy enough..  you can in fact force the buoy below the surface and keep it under water.


all relative to size..  and weight..  Etc.

but the buoy does not lose its buoyancy under pressure; it remains buoyant  -it is not at all the same as an inflated balloon being popped..

the buoy..  the very second the weight is removed..

Write back to the top!


Im going to retype your famous speech here.  1. -because I have the day off and I can..  2. Because i think its awesome!!

The war inevitable, march 1775

they tell us, sir, that we are weak -- unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger?

will it be the next week, or the next year?

will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? 

Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction?

Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

Sir, we are not weak, if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power.

Three millions of People, armed in the holy cause of liberty,

and in such a country as that which we possess

Are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us.

Besides Sir, we shall not fight our battles alone.  There is a just God who presides over the destinies of Nations, and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us

The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant,

the active,

the brave.

Besides Sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest.

There is no retreat but in submission and slavery!

Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston!

The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat Sir, let it come!

It is in vain, Sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace! Peace!  --- but there is no peace.

The war is actually begun!  The next gale that sweeps from the North will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms!

Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that Gentlemen wish? What would they have?

Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God!

I know not what course others may take; but as for (me!),

give (me!) Liberty or give me death!


K.   Wow Patrick!!   that really is one for the history books!

Friday, July 03, 2015

The Heart(s) Seen.. everywhere all the sudden! by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-now, the thing is, i have seen this torn wallpaper almost everyday for how long? long time.. and i have never noticed a heart shape..  and now all of the sudden.. I spotted one.. then two, then three, four..    they've all been here all along..   but i am just now today -aware- of their presence.. 

In Butte, Montana.. it is "The 3rd of July!" by (me!) sandra, tvgp

like, i know its the 3rd of July here too.. but the reason I put it in quotes.. is because for reasons that are still a great mystery to (me!)..  in Butte, Montana.. they celebrate "The 3rd of July!"

-not "The 4th of July!" like us more normal and conformed Americans..

also.. here in my neck of the small city woods..  we have what is commonly referred to as "safe & sane" fireworks...  and actually, they do not even sell fireworks in pleasanton, California..

you have to drive to our neighbor city, dublin if you want to purchase your very own fireworks..

the rest of us 'safe n' sane' types, like (me!).. we leave that kind of thing to the professionals..

our NORMALish branch of the family, here in the bay area, -we will sit on a blanket at a local school, bring snacks,  -this allows us a view of the spectacular fireworks show the professionals put on at the nearby Alameda county fair..

my brothers branch of the family..  'Un~safe & In~sane'

if you want to know what the 3rd of July is like in butte, Montana..

-I can't tell you.

not because I haven't been there.. I was there..

its just that .. I was like,

"My God..  are there absolutely NO LAWS whatsoever about fireworks here?"

i mean, the entire community is in on this..   like it ain't no thing..

kids of all ages..  with fireworks of all danger levels...

lighting up the entire big night sky..

-beautiful yes..  yes..   and fun.. yes.. Yes..  

I could see everyone else was having the time of there its-gonna-be-a-short-lived-lives..

but "oh my God.. that kid is near a car.. with a gas tank!"

"that one just..  

-I could hardly watch I was so nervous..

then when I saw that 3 year old smiling all big with his very own bulldogs, i think they're called..

i aged 6 years and surrendered to the indoors and just sat there praying..

and good thing I did because.. when it was all said and done..

-nothing but giant smiles & good memories from everyone who participated in the unsafe/insane fireworks block party...

so.. " Happy 3rd of July!" to you crazy people..

You go ahead and have fun.. 

/... i hold these truths to be self-evident.. that all men are created equal.. and endowed by our creator with certain unexplainable writes..

life, liberty, and the freedom to set off your very own fireworks..

or not.   -you can just watch trained professionals.. 

-whatever independence & happiness means to you.

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-and this is one of those occasions where ive had repeated exposure to this area of the wall near the window..  but just now, this very morning; -noticed.  -and now i can't believe i didn't see that earlier..   and then once you do notice; you can't not notice..

Thursday, July 02, 2015

no, i KNOW its (ray orrock!)

im not guessing.. i know.  -let me explain..

even very highly spiritual people doubt their own gifts; very common.

-the reason..  /place rest of this in kevin harts voice and rhythm:

"-the reason, ..i'm 'bout to tell you..   the reason you see, is because..

you can't prove it.. can't prove it in a court of law..

" you hear voices?..".    -how come we can't hear no voices?

imitate the voice you hear.. come on. we gotta hear this..

(Bad imitation verbalized):    "did you know the court can appoint you a psychiatrist..   -I think we need to appoint this girl a Sci-fi-entist..    -whatchoo talkin 'bout voices..?

like the one that tells me i can't have no birthday cake..  ?  -that's not a voice.. that's my brain sister..  sees everything I ate all day..  the double serving of bacon at breakfast..  the double cheeseburger for lunch..   yeah.. I hear voices too! come to think of it..  " better not eat that birthday cake..

can you all hear that..  -sounds just like that voice SHE just made, don't it.. "Better not eat that birthday cake.."

-yeah,.. Shit..   Maybe that's comin' from my stomach though..

-anyone here ever have their stomach talk to them?  All... gru-owl-gru-...  /stomach sound effects..

maybe you're not crazy after all..  Maybe you just think you hearin' voices in your (points to head..)

but its really (points to stomach)..  your tummy talkin'

-yeah..  everybody got a talkin' tummy..."


point being..  we have no way to prove; no way to provide audible evidence; no way to record; no way to duplicate; no way to reproduce or manufacture or re~create these experiences.

-they just kind of happen if you are 1. Open, and 2. Paying attention..

so, sure.. it is my experience i heard from ray orrock. but i can just as easily come up with a secular counter and carry on..

EXCEPT!   -and sing here:  ".. can I have a witness...."

BECAUSE! -just this very moment my hand wrote

THE LAST LINE.. THE CLOSING THOUGHTS... of a humor story that is to be called, Humble Pie..

and!  "I DO NOT WRITE THAT WAY!".  -my process, with only very few and rare exceptions

is to WRITE a FIRST LINE, a FIRST sentence; and then everything flows out after that...

RAY ORROCKS process is to come up with an ending.. and then fill in the top...

so.. when I just now wrote the ENDING..   that's not (me!); that IS (ray orrock!)

its as if he picked up on my ... doubt..  

and sent confirmation. I feel entirely validated by this experience..

and look forward to writing Humble Pie my next day off..

I do already know the premise and will share that here;make the process transparent..

ENDS with  ".. the only exception being chocolate; if chocolate did not already exist, -something tells me

I would

on pure instinct alone..

figure out how to [variable here used in first part of story; repeat this pattern]

I.e.,   figure out how to fly a jet.  /because earlier in story I must explain part of the reason I stay so humble is because I don't know how to build a jet, or piolet a jet; or how a jet can even fly in the first place..

and this will be followed by 3 or 5 things I have no idea how to do, and would never figure out on my own..

and all things I mention going forward in the story are a set up for going backwards..

where going backwards is going to have me accomplishing the un~ accomplishable when it comes to discovering chocolate..

and somewhere in the body of the story I must confess and then question..

if chocolate bars were not already invented.. let's say they didn't exist in the market or any stores...   /etc.


so.. once again, before I close.. let me recap:

I thought I heard rays voice.. shortly after desiring a picture, I landed across one, .. I revisited my profile of him.. there were some telepathic communications of which even I can find secular reasons for..

but then just now..  To suddenly have the impulse to write a last line for a story..

which is his process; not mine.

-I can't ignore; secularize; or brush that off..

that's ....    ray.

"thank you friend!".    -see you someday...

..another treasure from the archives.. (movers & shakers!)

i know its you... (ray orrock!)

once again, told in secular english; booooring!  so i won't even bother

i have tell it in spiritual english...   im quickly losing my interest; and slowly losing my ability to even speak secular anymore..

don't use it; lose it, kind of thing.. 

anyway.. i thought. (secular) or should i say, i heard.. ,(spiritual)

-i thought i heard (bilingual!) ray orrocks voice saying 'just have fun'

and there was this kind of telepathic communication that took place about writing... (spiritual...)

or i was randomly thinking about him? and i imagined or recalled his voice.. and i projected what i thought he would say?

you can go ahead and process this any way you like..

but what i know.. is that the same way i know the saints helped me find my library book, and the same saints that got me watching and laughing at family videos when i was on the verge of tears..

well.. he must be in cohoots with them. how i know this, is because, like i said, i heard his voice..

'just have fun'.  -and intuitively i knew he was talking about writing; blogging.  intuitively i knew  -well, i can sometimes be too serious..

and so i said back with my thoughts, i said..

'you're write..  '.   and i joked with him a little bit about how he gave up religion..   'heaven,' i said to him..  'bet you didn't see that comin'

-he was going to become a catholic priest at one point in his life..  ended up a humor columnist...

-and we all know who gets the very last laugh..  -write.

anyway..  i thought to him..  i thought..  'i need a picture..'

and during my most recent decluttering project..  only days since that 'just have fun' experience..

what should i find..

and then i reread the profile i wrote in the college newspaper.. 

and re-read one of my favorite ray orrock stories; fear of spying..

and was laughing up a storm again..

then re-read some more of my own humor columns from my college days..  and laughed out loud at my own work..

/against the rules ive been told..

but, you know what..  if i was funny at all..  its because i read so much of you.

and now I'm going to send these pictures to the share site your family has so lovingly created..

and keep this picture on my wall

to remember:

being a good spy is serious;

~writing about being a terrible and forgetful spy..  -that's fun!

i shall have some fun!

"It is first a feeling.." for (me!) too.. sandra, tvgp

this time i happened across and recorded the artists tool box and watched john jacobsen interviewing isabel & ruben toledo.

isabel explained that for her.. "It is first a feeling.". -that is, she does not have a vision.. but a feeling.. that prompts the next design..

in the same way, i do not have a vision.. but 'i feel a poem coming on..' Or, 'i feel a story about to come out..'

It is first a feeling; a very specific; very identifiable  ~feeling.

followed up with a poem, or story, or piece of art, etc.

and.. when it comes to God working in my life..  -the same;

it is a feeling; i feel God at work in my life.. 

and then it is followed up with some visible, experiential, tangible spiritual progress..  more humble, or more mature, more patient, more kind, more compassionate, etc.

Praise God!  amen!

Its all relative.. as interpreted by (me!) sandra, tvgp

.. this passage seems to say the same thing I just wrote about.. God sees it all in context; not dollar amounts specifically, like you gave $500 and you gave $5, so the person who gave $500 gave more..

But rather you gave $500 out of $50,000
But this person gave $5 out $50..

"Giving more"  doesn't necessarily mean, literally.. you gave a higher dollar amount..

It is possible, in spiritual economy, for $1 to = more than $100, when you factor in from what potential source...

I've known and understood this for some time..  so, whenever I was with my children at church, and they put a financial statement on the screen for disclosure/transparency and gratitude purposes

I would say with a smile to my children..

.. see that $5 at the end of $5,715.00

..that would only say $5710.00 without us.

Special Forces (sister rosemary!).

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

The Money Issue.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i love Jesus..  such a cents of humor..    -which was slightly lacking in the bank representative that came in the store yesterday to Introduce herself and her coworker and say hello..

-bank people will go out of their way to introduce themselves to small business people...  these are quite interdependent relationships..

but anyway.. i met them, and introduced us..  and then had to laugh and mention out loud how -ironic...

"i just finished blogging about how there's a bible passage that describes the banking industry.."

and i unintentionally set myself up for a fall here, because she took me serious..

"Luke 19: 26...

  I had to explain I was being facetious.. and anytime you have to explain.. you've already lost..

and I know, and you know, that the parable of the ten minas is about being wise with money..

there is a balance..  there IS a way to be responsible with money..

where you manage it; it does not control you.
where you invest wisely; and take responsible risks..
don't hoard; don't play it too safe;
don't waste it; don't worship it..


and its really common cents.. isn't it.. that if you had some money to invest.. you would give it to someone who you thought would it invest it wisely..  someone with a positive track record.

and i do regard it as another of the many, many, many spiritual tests..

and find the timing of this random neighborly visit from bank representatives  -so closely linked to my facetious independent bible study post..     ~of interest.  /oh! bank puns..  can't resist..

anyway.. you know by now, those of you who have read me for any length of time at all, how naive i enter into long established industries and practices.. 

and it is another moment where I will kind of always remember trying to get what they said to make cents..

And I don't remember actual dollar amounts so will make that part up, but the rest is true~ish..

" so, just to clarify..  i need to have $5000 minimum balance in order to have my checking fees waived? but if I can't provide that minimum balance I do have to pay a monthly fee?"

I'm sure I sat there dumbfounded for an awkward amount of time..

and no doubt I was wearing a facial expression that put my I.Q. into question while I silently went over in my head..

K. Like.. so.. if you can afford to pay a fee.. you don't have to.. 

but if you can't afford to..  You have to..

k.  Again..  


and then its the same of course with fees for bouncing checks; overdraft fees..

if you are earning enough income that you never bounce a check or spend money before the next deposit comes in causing an overdraft..

then.. you never get financially penalized and you earn interest

thats more $ for people who have $..

but if you don't have enough.. sing, 'fee~fine, fee~fine, ~fo

taking even more money away from those who can't afford it in the first place..

you can't imagine what a trap this ends up to be..  very deep pit and hard to climb out of..

-so be clear.. I have nothing against bankers, bank employees..

'I even have friends that work at banks..  !'

its just the system.. and when it makes me a little crazy, I remember the voice explaining to me..    "Banking is a business.. It is a business.."

silly (me!)..   yes of course it is a business...

so I am no longer dumbfounded or surprised.. but having lived on the financial edge for....    a long time..

I like to think on ways to help my kind..

and I often go back to %..   

% of income as a way to determine fees/charges..

-because again, again, again, again..   $35 not taken away from someone earning over $100,000 a year..   And $35 taken away from someone earning $18,000..

-which reminds me of the parking/speeding ticket issue..

-two people get a ticket for speeding. -same road; same speed..
-one is in a luxury car, earning over $100,000
-one is in a clunker (that can still speed! woohoo!), earning $18,000

that is two very different set of consequences for the same crime..


the moral of all this is of course..  it does not pay to be poor; being poor will cost you more..


now, I have graduated from cash advance to cash advance..

to: pay check to pay check..

but the real reason I am in the best financial shape of my entire life is because my debt to income ratio is very good.  My debts are very, very low..   /of course I don't own much either..

But! I was reading recently about our congressman, Eric swalwell, (of who I am a fan) and God bless his heart.. $100,000 in student loans..

when I read that I felt rich for a few minutes..

Anyway.. I'll close with saluting him for all the work he is doing behind and on the scenes to help with the student loan debt crisis slash, pandemic, going on..

One of his efforts involves making it so that you can refinance student loans the same way you can refinance home and auto loans..

-wouldn't it be great if we could take that to the bank...

"Thank You! Eric Swalwell!"

IJN,  ~amen.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Independent Bible Study for (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Luke 19:26

".. that describes the banking industry now doesn't it..."

Monday, June 29, 2015

The Heart(s) Seen.. and i can explain.. (Me!) sandra, tvgp

Mom: "my goodness.. what is this mess on the floor?  -what on earth is this?"

(me!):  "oh..  that..   did i forget to clean that up?"

Mom:  "yes. But honey what is this..?"

(me!):  "oh.. -that's oven cleaner."

Mom: "are you serious? what is oven cleaner doing all over the floor.. its for the oven..  "

(me!):  "i had to use it as spider killer spray...   "

Mom: "You are not serious...."

My sister: "oh.. I'm pretty sure she's serious.."

(me!):  "only it didn't kill 'em..  so I had to drown 'em..  "

Mom: "i can't believe..

my sister: " I can."

(me!): "and then I couldn't seem to drown him either..  So I dropped matt's book on top.."

Matt: "that's the first time my geography book has been of any use.."

(me!):  "I didn't realize I forgot to clean it up.."

Mom:  [cleaning area with paper towel..]

My sister (?)..  "look..  there's a shape of a heart.."

(me!): "I don't have my camera.. "

Mom: "well, I can take it for you..   that is a heart isn't it..  I can't believe..."

sister: "I can."

"It will be said!". by (someone!)

-would you agree that comedians can get away with saying way more than any politician ever could.

thank God.    -and briefly imagine a world without comedians..

I have a theory I will name.. write now, called ..

Oh, I don't know..  the theory of everything that can be said; will be said..

quite different from what should be said..  I know..

but, now that I have a theory..   What's next?

On my mind.. On my mind.. (Me!) sandra, tvgp

i have had absolutely no success getting Eric kandler on the phone.. and then I saw this interview, where my charlie rose was talking to Brian grazer.. and so I was like.. I wonder if I could get brain grazer on the phone and HE could get Eric kandler on the phone..  but no luck making contact with Brian grazer either..

thank God for blogs, huh..


I'm as interested in human memory storage as any lay-person neuro~fascinated type is..

and you've seen how they poke around in the brain.. And touch with a tool.. 'This is the area where language resides..' Etc.

and.. I am just so curious.. 

there was a memory.  I had a memory.  But didn't RE-member until I saw a picture.   the picture works like a super strong magnet where the memory is steel./or vice versa, .   it pulls/attracts the memory front and center of consciousness quicker than you can blink..

so my curiosity is: geographically speaking: where was the memory stored? dormant in my brain...  and then, when I see a picture.. And the memory is front and center..  where is it?    -and what path did it travel? And..  can we name the speed?   -at the speed of thought..


This ones for the A.I team at M.I.T:

It is quite fascinating, isn't it, just how much our human brains are like computers..

now, I'd like for each of you to take the calculator I've just handed you and press in


that's it.  and now I know, you being M.I.T. students and all, that  that is like way too easy; very simple addition..

but my question is not  -what does that equal..

my question is:  is the calculator  -waiting-  for you to enter more information? longing to provide the answer..

waiting anxiously..  waiting patiently... 

-now,  -with the pre-requisite of reading the memory storage curiosity above and having your calculators in front of you:

once you press =

the answer appears as quickly as a memory appears when you see an associated picture.. 

seeing a picture is like pressing = on a calculator after entering a simple addition equation..  

In a calculator..  geographically speaking.. 

Where is the 25?  Before you punch in


-where is it after?

-what path did it travel?


all we can be sure of..  Is ALL of the Information is pre-stored.. Preprogrammed.. to operate the way it does..

the brain, with event + picture = memory
the calculator, with 11+14 = 25...

-write..      I'm going to patiently ~await your feedback..

IJN,  ~amen!

Heart Seen.. in a different way.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp..

i mentioned earlier, ours is a dog~ friendly store..  and we all enjoy their sweet faces.. but i did notice megan was looking at people's dogs with a bit more longing than the rest of us..

and responding to them with greater affection..

and then she was looking on the computer at pictures of dogs, and various breeds and dispositions..

and then in~between work and studies, she was researching animal shelters..

so you dont have to be a rocket or a scientist to see this kind of very beautiful thing coming..

~allow me please to introduce the newest member of their family:


and they are as proud as any new parents you've ever seen..

and we are thoroughly enjoying their pictures & stories...

"Congratulations!"    Megan & Vincent.

-excited to see Jessie in Pleasanton's upcoming pooch parade..

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-in my shelled walnuts...

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-in my fruit salad...  

The Heart Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-on the crust of my favorite slice of new york pizza..vegetarian..

Exactly my kind of movie! (me!) sandra, tvgp

...and exactly my kind of theater to watch it in!.... 

The Alameda County Fair 2015.. (anne!) & (me!)

* i went as a child with my brother and sister; mom..

* i went as a teenager with friends..

* i went as a young single on a date.. 

* i went married..  i went divorced..   

* i went married, bringing my two children to the little kids rides..

* and then bringing my growing kids to the big kids rides..

* and then just dropping my teen kids off; and picking them up..

* and now they drive themselves..

and for every *  i have some treasured memories and pictures..

the last couple times I've been to the fair has been with Anne.. and we don't do rides.. we just walk around and visit the exhibit halls..

agriculture, art, hobbies..    -we share a love of art, photography, etc. so makes it more fun..

and this year we stayed to hear the beach boys concert and split a funnel cake..

I had just seen love & mercy at the vine, so it of course increased my interest and appreciation..

and im very hopeful..  God will allow me to continue:

and one day..

* bring my grandchildren to the little kids side..

-for this i sure do pray...   ~amen.