Saturday, October 18, 2014

How Prayer Evolves. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-that's silly from the start because it is not prayer that evolves; people evolve, and it can be seen through their prayers.

I'm not telling you anything original here, just validating.  And it appears the two most pronounced ways people evolve which can be seen through prayer is this:

On the way:  "please bless me"
Arrived:  "how can I bless others."

On the way: "make (variable) go away."
Arrived: "please give me the strength to endure and/or conquer"

In Jesus name,  amen.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Public "thank you!" To unknown from (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Dear unknown kind person.. "Thank you!!".  I feel as if I was divinely guided to circle around and drive by those golf clubs next to the handwritten 'free stuff' paper sign.  " FREE?" I said to myself, "that's my favorite price!".    I said thank you to the sky in case it might reach you and then carried them to my writeousmom-mobile half concerned someone might  come running after me yellin' " STOP! THIEF!  ..  those are mine..."

You never know these days; so many divorces and all..  Maybe one spouse got pissed off at the other spouse.. And just put the others spouses shit out on the sidewalk with a FREE SIGN on it..

I've seen much worse..

But.. Upon examination..  All the dust, yellow, stringy, mildewy, spiderweb-like adhesive that was stuck all around the bag..  And the rust on the clubs themselves..

Seem safe to guess they just hadn't been used in years; were buried under who knows what in a basement which  -perhaps inspired by a sudden move, or particularly influential episode of hoarders.. Was now being cleaned, decluttered and organized.  I don't know.. I just excel at projecting..

Anyway.. "The timing!".  Here I've been on like,  3 hot dates now, with who I affectionately, sarcastically refer to as husband #3, at the golf range hitting buckets of balls with HIS clubs..

Now..  God being the creative choreographer he is..  " I have my very own!"

I took the bag this very morning to the AM/PM station where they have a supersonic vacuum for 4 quarters..   So, if anyone is keeping track.. My free golf clubs are now $1.

I vacuumed best I could..   Let me just say they did not come out 'looking bran new'.   So I took them to the dry cleaners where they explained the bag would not fit in their machine...   My best bet is the car cleaners where they professionally detail cars..  But that has to wait because I was only like, a football field away (see how naturally sports related things roll of my tongue now..) From the golf range.. So..

Today I paid $7 two times for what amounted to "120!" Balls.

And I'd like very much to tell you that I hit all 120 balls..

I did in fact swing at all 120 balls..

And in conclusion I would like to tell you the same thing I told the man at the register -twice- who gave me change for my $20.  /he was hard of hearing:

"I've never enjoyed sucking at something so much in my whole life."


And I couldn't have been there today without you; unknown kind person..

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Heart Seen.. While unwrapping product.. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Embarrassing moment #79642 for (me!) Sandra, tvgp

K..  I'm going to put you in the same situation I was in.  I'm going to list the names of items I was unpacking..  And you tell me if one stands out as not belonging, k.  Here we go:

Apple corer
Cheese slicer
Garlic chopper
Lemon saver
Ceramic peeler
Pasta spoon
Wine server
Screw cap opener

Dear Joyce Meyer.. From (me!) Sandra, tvgp

-been watching you for years...  I am a student of yours for life..  Love you, respect you, admire you..  Blah, blah..  Let me cut to the chase:

Today you spoke/taught again about ..  Staying somewhere even when you don't like it..  How, sometimes you are suppose to stay and stick it out even when you are very tempted to leave..

How, even if you are pulling out your hair.. Thinking "I can't take this anymore!".  And wanting to run...

You should stay.  God may be using that person or situation to grow you..

I get it.

But I am very curious STILL..   When you found yourself in a preschool classroom.. Working with toddlers..  You said " I lasted three days"

And then you ran.

You describe yourself as 'not anointed' for that position.

What criteria are you using when deciding when to flee.. When to stay and work it out?

I will take my answer off the air.  Yes.  If you could leave it in comments..  "Thank you!"

In Jesus name, amen.

Learning how and when to lie. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Honest to a fault.  -it fits me.  I've mentioned before.. My honesty is not born from morality or righteousness.  It is because I do not have, have not properly developed, what I consider a very important life skill.

I am not however 100% honest.. Its just that necessary lies, that come quickly, easily, and naturally to others..

They come to me very slowly, painfully, awkward..

I thought of this again when a customer came into the store.. A beautiful young woman who by appearance and behavior, I knew had down syndrome..  Or something on the spectrum thereof..

Entirely delightful to talk to, but I realized quickly she had absolutely no understanding about the value of money..

(Mine I would describe as limited).

She purchased an item which cost under $10, but when handing me a $20 bill, was not sure whether that was enough to cover the cost.

I let her know it was..  And provided her correct change.   She took my picture.. And I shared with her some of my found heart photographs..  

Anyway..  The way life is..   Even if you don't know something, you are not supposed to let people know.. That you don't know..


How easily someone could take advantage of that situation!

"No..  1 $20 bill won't cover it..   You'll need three of those.."

And she would never know.

She has to depend on the honesty and good nature of others; period.

Me too.   (See my green mile cable man story).

Maybe not to the same degree.. But to some degree for sure.

Because I realize this is true..  I've learned to ask a lot of questions and double check with people I know and love and trust..

"Is this one of those areas where its common for people to lie?"

And when the answer is yes..   Lie I do.   But I am terrible at it!

And the very word..  'Honest' can trigger a million memories in my own life..

The essense of them all the same formula:

"Sandra..  Why did you say that? (Or write that..  Or share that..)?!"

(Me!):  "because that's what happen.."

Them: "don't you know you're not supposed to share that even if..."

And mainly the reason not to share something true is because I can get taken advantage of..  to spare myself harm or embarrassment..

So even though by first appearance or behavior you might not peg me as having down syndrome

I function in life much the same way.  I have to count on the honesty and good nature of others; period.

Well,  and trust in God.    -he seemed to know we'd all lie at one point or another; or tell the truth when we weren't supposed to..

And didnt he devise the most brilliant plan for dealing with such matters..

Forgiveness.   Love.

What amazing concepts.  Thank you for coming up with those..

In Jesus name, -amen.

The Heart Seen.. In our large, hot n' salty, delicious french fries from mcdonalds

Pairs well with their 'I'm lovin' it' marketing campaign.

Absence of pretense. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I was telling my daughter about a lovely couple who came into the store. They were visiting from Palo alto..  -  I'm going to skip large parts of our conversation to jump here:  back in conversation with my daughter

"I told them maybe you might end up at Stanford..  -and they both go there now..  And I'm mad at myself for not asking what they were studying..  But they seemed to really like Stanford..  And then mentioned 'a bit of pretense on campus.. But it could be overcome'

My daughter asked what that meant..  Pretense.

I explained it as a euphemism for snob..  Superiority complex..  -people who think they're better than..

And then we talked about a variety of other things.. But!  I've been thinking about that ever sense..

I'm always working behind the scenes figuring out what it means to be a fully evolved human being.   I have already concluded such a person would be a humanitarian..

But the other thing I am quite, very, certain about:

A fully evolved human being would not be pretentious. 

A fully evolved human being would not suffer from either inferior or superior complexes; relative to anyone else of any status or education or income.

A fully evolved human being recognizes each human being on the  planet has the same intrinsic value as.. A human being.  None of us created ourselves.. We were created with a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses and are born for and from love.

I know

That a fully evolved human being would be humble; not pretentious.

Most people know this intuitively

But I wonder...

Could it be proven in a court of law? Scientifically?

Saturday, October 11, 2014

THE POINT by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

This is my imaginary conversation with a real man who wrote in to a magazine asking whether something was wrong with him if when he read about a woman being raped, he became aroused.

Our conversation takes place in a kitchen.

"See this knife?  Tuesday night it was used by a psychopath who stabbed a pregnant woman to death with it.

But monday night it was used to cut the best beef in the market which was cooked to perfection and fed an entire family one of the greatest meals of their life

When you look at the knife..  Does it make you hungry?


Conquer the world with " kindness...  Kindness..."


Let me try again...


See this delicious meal?  The appearance and aroma so enticing it re-creates an appetite in a completely stuffed human being..  

Inside however, poison has been planted and whoever eats the meal will grow very sick and die.

Even if you KNOW their is poison inside..  Your brain's first/default response will be to the sight of the meal..  And you might in fact salivate

But this is NO indication you are a bad person.. It is just a biological response; common

You are not your brain..  You are not your biological responses; you can observe them..   Steer them... Educate them..

So,  look again at the meal..  Compare your biological response with knowledge it has poison inside

You might in fact salivate.. But you can and should ignore that/dismiss that..  Biological

What you ultimately respond to is your knowledge.

If the knowledge that the knife, in the first scenario, was used to murder a pregnant woman..

And the knowledge that meal contains poison..

If those two things arouse you..

Please do us all a favor and jump off a bridge.

Fulghum is write on! Says (me!) Sandra, tvgp

The Heart Seen... In my peanut butter!.....

Friday, October 10, 2014

The Heart Seen.. In Squidmann & Spike's backyard!

    Apparently the moles are in love with their backyard.. Im told there are several more piles..  "Thank you!" Melinda.. Great shot!

The Heart Seen... In my Pirate's Booty...

Thursday, October 09, 2014

The heart seen.. As oil dripped from foil.. By (carla graci!)

The heart seen.. While unpacking boxes.. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

The heart seen.. On the "holy bowl" by (keeshie!)

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

wild. -book review of a different kind, by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

We spend the first part of our lives figuring out our default systems: we learn via experience, this type of movie (or book or situation or whatever) makes me cry; this type makes me laugh, this type makes me scared, this type makes me horny, this type makes me bored.. On and on, etc. Etc.   -and then once you understand/know what stimuli = what result...  Then you get to CHOOSE! 

Want to laugh?  Want to cry?  Feel like being scared and hypervigilant for several hours or days?   For actual life.. We cant always choose... But for books and movies and various forms of voluntary entertainment we certainly can..

And the older and wiser you get..  The more selective you become about just how exactly you want to invest your irretrievable precious time -based on the result.

And all of that is just so i can say how glad i am; elated, really, that i didnt know a single thing about this book, wild, except that it was good.

Testimony was provided by more than one guest when i worked at the marriott..  I always paid attention to what book was in whose hand..  And i saw more than one copy of wild float by the front desk..

I made a mental note to check it out for myself, but then forgot.. Changed jobs..  Moved..  Shift here, settle in there..

And if not for my sage friend catherine just reading it and passing it on to me..   Probably i would have never remembered on my own..

And! Had she mentioned i would cry..   I most definitely would have passed. I mean..  I cry sometimes because life demands it..  But its not my favorite state of mind, and why volunteer my otherwise happy hours to voluntary crying? 

So my book review is as follows:  you will cry. And her memoir is worth it.  Pay whatever the book costs.. Invest also in a box of tissue, plant yourself somewhere..  Anywhere..  And read.

It is not a sob story for the duration.. Just in very valid, very necessary parts

It is as well organized as eat, love, pray..   Not anything like it.. I compare it only for how well organized, because real life is so messy; this skill fascinates me to no end

And the two authors.. Cheryl strayed and elizabeth gilbert -they both take you on two simultaneous journeys: one physical; real world, and the other spiritual; super natural..

Here are a couple other things you'll need to pack before you start reading, in addition to tissue..

Toenail clippers.  I noticed after several chapters i randomly went upstairs to the bathroom and just..  I just had the sudden unstoppable urge to trim my toenails.  - and then..  I called a local salon and scheduled a pedicure.

I also set the book down one time.. And just out of nowhere.. I decided to take a long hot shower..  I shampooed my hair twice.. And shaved everywhere else three times..

You will also want to have a variety of beverages nearby..  This story will make you very thirsty

For more!   -more, more, more...

I cant remember how long its been since i held a memoir this  good.  But it is worthy to live on the same shelf with the greats:  Dr Maya Angelou, elizabeth gilbert, jeanette walls, anne lamott,...

"You are awesome! Cheryl Strayed!".   -congratulations!