The heart seen... In my closet... Sandra, tvgp
The heart seen... By (carla graci!) On her kitchen floor
ANT. A poem by (me!) Sandra, tvgp
I was sitting on the toilet.
When I saw a little ant.
"I want to let you live... -but I can't!"
I watched it heading left. I watched it circle write.
I kept that little ant in my sight.
"I want to let you live...-but I can't!"
Because there is no such thing as -one ant.
SHE HOLDS YOU CAPTIVATED IN HER PALM.. (Dr Maya ANGELOU!). By (me!) Sandra, tvgp
K, so.. You know I have been trying to meet her, close up and personal my whole life it feels like..and 3 or 4 times, the same thing happened.. I write a letter I hope to hand to her.. I bring a book I hope to have signed.. And a camera for the picture I hope to have: Dr Maya Angelou and me! and every time the same thing happens.. I show up.. See her in the distance.. Listen in awe to her every word.. Laugh, smile, cry, smile... Look to whoever is on my left, or write, in front or in back of me.. "can you even stand how wonderful she is? How does she do that? Make everyone feel so valuable, like it's ok to be the human we are.." and that absolutely incomparable combination of voice, presence, content.. It is a deep down inside kind of pleasure to read her books.. but she must also be SEEN! And ... "everything around her is a silver pool of light.. People who surround her feel the benefit of it... It makes you calm. -She holds you captivated in her palm". <----- lyrics from "suddenly I see" by k.t. Tunstall... The song I dedicate to Dr Maya Angelou and that I can't wait to hear sung live at the firehouse art center by Jessica! In my valentine, slash, black history, slash, Aquarian spirit, slash, presidents day, slash, isn't February the coolest month of the year performance: KISSIN' THE CHOCOLATE BLUES! -where was I? Oh yes! At the San Francisco.. The gorgeous, breath taking San Francisco opera house, waaay up top, balcony front, seat 125, write next to my handsome prince who looked extra handsome, by the way, and who drove us quickly and yet safely there.. I am skipping stories about work, running late, the beautiful bridge.. So I can just get to the part, where even though we were an hour late.. We were safe, secure, and hand in hand, in our seats in time for Dr Maya Angelous presentation.. And "thank you Jesus!" for those giant movie screens that help you see what is too far away to see on stage.. My favorite thing she said this time, was.. How she re-introduced herself.. A member of Glide for years... A member of the San Francisco opera for years.. Poet, author, sister, etc.. "and learning how to be Christian". -and with such humility, humor, and beauty she spoke about how people come up to her and identify themselves as Christians.. And she says, "really?! You're a Christian ...-already!? I'm still learning. I'm practicing.. Everyday I do 75 things wrong and ask for forgiveness...". -something along those lines.. But then came the worst part.. The painful part to see and hear.. It part got lost on me.. But I was pretty sure I heard her say, -'I'm there with you... IN SPIRIT.... In Spirit.. in spirit... i n. s p ... And you know what that means, write.. It meant SHE wasn't -physically- there... Oh dont you hate those words sometimes! -in spirit- so, that cracked my heart open even wider and I just let her presence.. Her words.. Her smile.. Her style.. Enter in and spread around like magic grout, putting my heart back together in a beautiful mosaic.. Looking and feeling even better than it did before the extra cracks... That's what she does. Even in her senior years, even though she is not feeling well and can't physically travel... Still.. "she's got the power to be. The power to give. The power to see! Yeah, yeah, yeah...". -wow. And now I know my motivations for attending the glide 50 celebration were not pure.. The entire event was really to recognize and honor -glide. The amazing co-founder/humanitarians: Reverend Cecil Williams and his equally remarkable wife, Janice mirikitani,.. The countless lives they've touched, saved, help transform.. It is truly an inspiring and rare and wonderful legacy! -and there I was hoping to meet Dr Maya Angelou and Robin Williams (not there at all to my knowledge) -shame on me.. But! -there we were. We were there! Me and my extra handsome prince at the glide 50 celebration in the San Francisco opera house on a spectacularly clear and really beautiful December night.. All dressed up and snuggled next to each other in the seats.. Listening to one amazing testimony after another.. One amazing performer after another..(hey! That's MARTIN from Pride & JOY!) Witnessing these living legends do their thing.. "like a bridge over troubled water...". You can see a list at their website: glide.org... And I was so touched by their love.. On our way back to the car I think I may have proposed to my handsome prince.."wanna get married and help people..". I can't think of a better way to live....
MEETING DR MAYA ANGELOU Take 9: by (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Smile. Shake hands.. ". ". Meeting Dr Maya Angelou Take 10: "you life'd my whole change...". Meeting Dr Maya Angelou Take 11: hand flowers, candy, ...thank you card.... "I am making you a valentine! On stage! A live performance.. Singing! Dancing! Poetry! Stories! .. To share how much I love you with the world! ..well, with Pleasanton.. We have like about population 70,000.. But it's at the firehouse theatre.. That holds about 243 seats or so...no, 237.. 232 I think it is... But I plan to fill them! So I'm going to share how much I love you with a couple hundred people this February! And of course it would be the most awesome thing in the universe if you could be there! The real YOU... I have Faith ALPHER.. And she has already agreed to be you for me..so you are going to be there..but if YOU YOU could be there...
MEETING ROBIN WILLIAMS Take 5: by (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Smile. Shake hands. "it's so amazing! Your body!..............-of work! Your working body... The way your body of works is working..". Meeting Robin Williams, Take 6: smile. Shake. Meeting Robin Williams, Take 7: "you know all those movies you've been in... Well, duh, like of course you would know all the movies you've been in.. You were in them... ". Meeting Robin Williams -just take a picture....
I HAVE A DREAM FOR THE VACANT ROUND TABLE PIZZA BUILDING (me!) Sandra, tvgp
It's the exact same dream I had for the vacant DoMus building in a prior post, but! A. That building is no longer vacant; it's a hardware store... And B. "the former round table pizza building is even better because... ITS ALREADY SET UP FOR OVENS!". ...perfect for my shrinky dink parties.... My dream never dies.. Just changes imaginary locations...
IM THANKFUL I HAVE SO MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR (me!) Sandra, tvgp
I wouldn't be exaggerating to tell you I can sometimes spend an hour with my eyes closed going over in great detail all the people and things I'm grateful for... God, and friends and family.. My children, healthy, happy, doing well in life, good friends, handling challenges, obstacles along the way.. Getting to witness the transitions, her into a beautiful young woman, him into a handsome young man..I'm grateful to my ex-husband for all he provides for them.. So grateful they are being raised in such a nice neighborhood, good schools, -cool hometown.. And I'm grateful my dad and family are back in California.. Chris, emily, isaiah, -Nate in PB.. Always a pleasure to be around, visit...A prayer answered! And I'm grateful for all the times my mom, and her husband have come out to Pleasanton for visits, but.. so grateful I can go to San leandro now, a city i was avoiding for some time, visit with my mom and her husband, without experiencing any depression or needing time to recover upon return. What healing! And my mom really knows what she's doing in the kitchen.. Such a good cook! A wonderful thanksgiving meal and visit.. And I'm grateful for my sister, niece and nephew.. Anytime we get to hang out together.. And my brother.. I'm really grateful that he has love in his life now.. A family he can enjoy the holidays with! -that they are doing well.. I'm so grateful for my handsome prince! And his daughters.. And his family. To be in love, to have someone I'm so attracted to and compatible with.. Who.. WHO! uh oh... SIDETRACK: "WHO GOT US TICKETS TO SEE DR MAYA ANGELOU! AND! ROBIN WILLIAMS! -who helped me see and get a picture with MY CHARLIE ROSE!... Oh! And I've been doing so good.. But every once in a while my thoughts get taken over with my practicing what I might say if I get the chance to shake hands with... -forget it. I either start rambling, or freeze. Anyway.. GOD is already there! -one of my favorite prayers! GOD IS ALREADY THERE... And I'm so grateful for carol, Stacy, friendship/shelter, the room I'm renting in the most beautiful neighborhood! I'm extra extra grateful for my job at ricks picks.. My favorite job I've ever had. -ever. And maybe the money is not so great, but! I love the place, the people, the products.. And it utilizes at least a dozen skill sets I have that have not been put to use by any other employer. May I pause to share here.. I got a text from Rick himself with THREE "really's" in it.. As in, " I really, really, really like what you did in home decor..". -as I had spent some 5 plus hours re-doing almost the entire home decor section in the Danville store /and it felt like 30 minutes! And I feel so incompetent in the kitchen and in other places/situations... But! Let me loose to organize, decorate, arrange this spectacular variety of eclectic home decor in some creative, aesthetically pleasing way and I get to feel like A. I know what I'm doing, and B. I'm good at it! -what a blessing! plus.. I'm having so much fun with Ricky & picky ..taking pictures!.. And I'm very grateful to Charlotte Severin, Julie, Andrea.. My position as poet laureate.. Feel myself being challenged, stretched -growing. Deeply grateful to faith ALPHER! For the opportunity to honor, celebrate Dr MAYA Angelou in this special way.. Will I get a chance to tell her?! And how lucky am I?! I mean, one of the things that makes me feel the luckiest of all! Is getting to read and respond to Leonard's blogs 5 days a week! .. Way up there in the saving and enhancing quality of life area! -the blogosphere itself, my new fancy phone.. That allows me to take and upload pictures direct to my blog! .. My health!.. All my healing! My church! Joyce Meyer! Joel Osteen! Hour of power! Energy! Verve! ...getting to declutter at my own pace, revisit so many memories, decide of my own free will, what to keep, throw away, donate, sell... For the great books I get to read, for every one of my awesome, beautiful friends.. This list goes on.. But! Time's up...
"happy thanksgiving!". ..my girl. (Taryn!)