Monday, October 31, 2016

Inappropriate Laughter during Bible Study.. from (me!), sandra, tvgp

so, I'm sitting with my BSF small group, in a children's classroom
at valley community church

we are having our very spiritual discussion about the book of John..

and then I glance up..


and, I'm like..    really?!

-because in the reflection in the window, are like
12 dozen giant golden owl eyes..


and, so, since it was my very recent experience
and I needed to explain why I was giggling/laughing

I look to the woman on my write, and then my left..

"this has nothing to do with anything.. but
I'm laughing because

I was just hypnotized by an owl..

like, only days ago!  and here I am being stared at by
all kinds of these giant golden owl eyes again..."

and they both laughed..   but, with a hint of..

'you were hypnotized by an owl?'    -concern.

"yes. for real! I was hypnotized by an owl..  I just wrote about it!"

so, please if you will just read my very recent post:
titled:  mesmerized and hypnotized

I promise it will make sense.  and be.. like, funnier and less concerning..


this was indeed the reflection in the window from my seat:

and, it gets very sweet and spiritual write about now,
because when I walked over to see
the wall from which the reflection originated

it says:
God gives a hoot about you.

-that is too funny to me...     heavenly humor.

Dear Eric Kandel.. from (me!) sandra, tvgp

the detail in the painting on the left
the lack of detail in the painting on the write /what you describe as abstract.

and the 40 year difference between the two.

-for (me!), personally..  from my experience as a writer and artist   -this exactly mimics what happens with writing/talking

there is no intention or decision involved whatsoever; it happens naturally

-have a conversation with someone fresh off the scene of a dramatic event, or
have a writer, write about a dramatic event within a few days of it..

have the conversation several years later...   have the writer write about the same dramatic event
several years later

move forward decades..

there is a very natural, innate, organic editing that takes place

and, how ive described it in the past is like this:   fresh off the scene, you get a novel..

pages and pages of detail, but as you move forward in time, and revisit the same subject you start to get chapters, not the novel, and then move forward in time, and you get pages not chapters

move ahead a couple years, you get paragraphs, not pages..

and ultimately...    several decades later, the dramatic event that used to be a novel in writing, or hours in conversation

is now   -bullet points.

no one tells and retells with the same level of detail from the initial telling, to the several years later telling..    -ever.  

ive seen it over and over and over, and experience it myself.

but, it feels like that is EXACTLY what I'm looking at here, when you show these paintings 40 years apart..   and write next to each other.

from detail, to bullet points.   -from every little thing, to..  the essence/major themes

it is natural; not artistic decision.    now, what specifically happens to the detail?  lost/forgotten/subsided/erased from memory.  it is my educated guess, that it does not get lost, forgotten, or erased; it gets diluted by other memories/experiences.

that is what you are looking at in the paintings:  detail.  vs.  diluted detail/ -just essence.

    more later... but I had to pause the program to share that....   

  ***  tbc

/type eric kandel in the search bar of this blog..    I am a fan & student of your work...

funniest halloween memory -for (me!), writeousmom

Hand over your chocolate or else!

Sunday, October 30, 2016

good sunday morning richard lagravenese... from (me!) sandra, tvgp

"thank you!" here to abbie koopmann  /a student of cinema at san Francisco state university

I add to my list of movie's associated in one way or another with your name:

p.s. I love you.     -wonderful, delightful, romantic and moving movie to watch; perfect cast.. editing, soundtrack, etc.     and prior to movie beginning, I read your name

"Abbie..  why am I familiar with that name..   how do I know that name?   Richard.. La... Grav E niece~E..."

and with some quick phone/internet research she mentioned Freedom Writers..   "that must be it!"   and I talked about loving that movie..   and Hillary swank..   and million dollar baby...  and clint eastwood..   and by now, you understand how all these cerebral hyperlinks are initially created and then present themselves to be clicked on inside our mind, or skipped over, but part of the larger story.


anyway,  -fast forward to this morning, I decided to do a little more research and



    -AND for (me!) this IS my favorite movie   -of all time!, and.. I consider it a masterpiece among masterpieces..       relevant forever.  brilliant..   everything that makes a masterpiece a masterpiece

which ive already defined   -it contains all the criteria.   k

and isn't it only the most natural thing in the world, when you come across a masterpiece, to want to say so..  and "thank you!" to the creator..

/pause here for spiritual interjection and friendly reminder:   human beings are masterpieces..


then I just had to watch my Charlie rose interviewing you.. and those magnificent  /commercial free, uninterrupted,   very engaging conversations

and, I stop here too, to say..   "Charlie..   it is 2016, you need to invite him back write away.."

and, CH as follows:

freedom writers:    I am one.    -very familiar
bridges of Madison county:   -memories of my mom, so upset, genuinely angry to learn the book was  a work of fiction.
fisher king:  masterpiece among masterpieces..
the horse whisperer:   great book/movie..     -save only, a few select unoriginal plot lines; but,  -I still employ the colloquial vocabulary born from this book/movie.. (variable here)~ whisperer, as a way of identifying people who can influence results out of others in a gentle/caring vs. violent or aggressive or forceful or manipulative ways
unbroken:  where the story of the author, laura hillenbrand is as compelling as the subject(s), and the movie was incredible and louis zamperini's life journey..  and Angelina jolie's debut..   and the human constellation of circumstances/events that connects all these people /including yourself..  together..  it delivers one WOW after another..  I mean, my God..
and now add, p.s. I love you..     this is exactly the type of movie my dad's mom, my grandma Harrison would have thoroughly enjoyed..   ' I love, love..'  she would always say..    big appetite for love stories..

so, I have not seen all of your work, but these six films are stand outs..    

but let me return to the fisher king..    the movie is a masterpiece.  and I could go on and on about the cast..  /my Robin!  my Robin!    -the whole cast.  the chemistry between all of them, each individual incredible performance..    the cinematography!  the scenes!  the musical score!  the performances!  the editing!     just one perfect decision after another..  

but as person who has directly experienced PTSD...   ive always said   -when the conversations were germane

"..whoever wrote that...   knows stuff....    "

and having seen your interviews on Charlie rose..     -there is nothing in those which would indicate for me..  how you knew, what you knew, at such a young age, when you wrote the fisher king

you have an insiders knowledge.   I'm curious about that..

and, because you   -are, you..    well, I think you are a great candidate for reading

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time..

when I read that..     masterpiece of masterpieces, also..   I knew he

he = mark haddon

he had insiders knowledge also. -not on PTSD, but autism spectrum.   turns out it is indirect...  he taught in environments which gave him indirect experience but special insights..

so, as time allows, which is not today..  work/work/work

but as windows of time open..     I want to learn where your experience/insights into the aftermath of tragedy, the scope/depth of which is portrayed in fisher king

came from.    and then of course, you tackle and reveal the ego, in the fisher king like ive never seen it tackled/revealed in any other film or book too..    and human vulnerability/fragility...   and hopes/dreams..   and romantic love, friendship/platonic love, culture, nerves..  isolation..  flesh/spirit; violence/evil,   imagination; survival..   this world/that world...   so many things..

it is    -well, probably ive rewatched this movie more times than any other, and each time

  -I see a new something to marvel at..

and I will no doubt, revisit it again, very soon...


its been a great pleasure to pretend to talk to you,

Richard    /let me listen how my Charlie says it..

Richard..   La~grav~a~nAys.          

In Jesus knows you by name.   -'s name, amen!

oh!   -of great interest/gives many clues...   love to read anything this dense!

Saturday, October 29, 2016

Speaking of skirts and pom-poms...

Bring It On

"VICTORY WARRIORS!" congratulations! from (me!) sandra, tvgp

  now, the opening night game..   while some of you might be tempted to think their loss had something to do with the other team's strength, consistent basket-making, and the warriors temporarily un-energized defense, and un-synergized offense

-we- know..    in the super-natural, that..   well, my sister and I were not wearing our shirts and watching together..

but we do not live or park there.   we move..   


and, speaking of...      did you see?!  that?!       and, it appears, that our

our, as in,    us fans + the actual warrior players

we,   -as in, the same as mentioned above.    we are getting our groove back..  our moves back!

our..   watch us WIN! n' them lose knack.

oh no!  I feel a cheer leadin' song comin' on:

/somebody get me a skirt and some pom poms..


my imaginary bettin' money says..   Our Golden State Warriors will not lose to spurs a second time.  and, will win again tomorrow..

and win again, many games after that...

"to the exciting season ahead!"      clink glasses. take big sip.  touch heart. point to God.  "cheers & amen!"

"CHURCH!" for (me!) sandra, tvgp

Re-joyce in the Lord..     amen!


-sometimes I will just re-think about my fascination with the Bible..  with how different people respond different ways..


Robert Schuller read the Bible at a young age, and his immediate response was that what he had read was so powerful and important that he was willing to risk his own life to make sure it reached people in Russia..      -and in fact, there are large populations of people around the world who risk their lives to share the Bible, read the Bible..

that's quite a response.

Joyce Carol Oats read the Bible?  exact same book, and concluded it was fiction, written by men with the intention of controlling/manipulating   -I believe she remains an atheist..    and there are large populations of people who share this belief too...

same book.  different people.  very different response.

what causes this?

I remember reading, and thinking:  like, you would have to be ...  at least a high school and perhaps college level educated person to even read.. you would need to know geography, world history, how to translate/interpret, ...have an understanding of foreign language/cultures..      genealogy..  
you would need to verify; fact find; distinguish between literal and spiritual..    flesh and spirit..  human perspective vs....     long list.

is Christianity for everyone, or only the scholarly/educated/elite?

what happen for (me!) personally, experientially, is that my relationship through prayer

how my inner life changed/improved through prayer    -that is what made a believer out of (me!), and

the Bible, which I read and study..    and believe, is

what is a fair analogy?  accurate analogy?    

-first I responded to a piece of art.    the response was immediate/experientially moving and unquestionable

I was touched

and then, that experience inspired me to learn more about the artist..   the process...

but I did not need to know that information first...     

   -something like that.

in my spiritual walk,  -secular to spiritual..     I was touched first through prayer..

and then I had to learn more..

and, still..     there is so much to learn!         but I like to remind, because I know

lots of people who have never, and will never read the Bible

    -access to God is available to everyone through prayer.   and my life experiences  -direct contact with evil-doers; existing in a pit of inner hell..  intimately acquainted with misery

and then evolving into a person who

consistently (not exclusively) experiences peace and joy..  

I credit prayer and my wonderful spiritual teachers...       and, life time student of Joyce Meyers.. and she was not a scholar..    

In Jesus approachable, accessible, ever~available name    -amen!

mesmerized & hypnotized! (me!) sandra, tvgp

literally. in that order.   -only moments prior I was dashing this way and that, to capture different angles of the kids on the tour   -with my eyes, for the future tour, as I did not have my camera with me

and when we entered under the old oak and they all sat in the plastic chairs under the canopy

I stood to the side.   and my eyes glanced across from write to left; left to write   -it was all new to me.   what were we here for?    and then I slowed down my glance and stopped to read..

    ... something about...      about birds...  

and the kids were asked to be on the quiet side by the speaker..   and the speaker, I noted immediately, was experienced when it came to talking to young children..    I could tell by the way she leaned in and down, made eye contact, engaged them so directly with her volume and tone.

and perhaps on the first and even second glance my eyes missed..   because it was slightly tucked back, in the shadow and a bit camouflaged in the larger environment, but eventually my eyes

-locked- eyes with it.   I mean locked.    have you ever had that happen?   usually we glance at each other..   our eyes move a little when we talk and listen...   or there is a soft hold; polite in nature, that just lets the other know you see them.. you hear them..    you mutually acknowledge one another; that kind of thing

but when you lock eyes..    that's when your eyes meet and  -freeze.  and there is something that even surpasses a stare.   it is a fixation of sorts..

and me and this

gorgeous!   sensational!    amazing!    wow of a feathered creature, with giant golden eyes, and..

so quiet..   so still...     and yet so powerful in presence...!     what am I looking at here?   

     -and our eyes were mutually locked for the entire time these thoughts crossed my mind.

and I have no way to prove it, but..  I'm certain I didn't blink.   -that is, until

             oh my Good God, ...   don't do that...  

what a slow blink this gorgeous creature has!    part of me wondered if it wasn't in fact... not real.

something artists could create..     a life-like version...    

but..   I slowed my blink down, and blinked back.    I was imitating...    and I found myself taking one or two more steps closer..

locked eyes. staring.  slow blinking.     and, then..    how close am I allowed to get to this amazing, gorgeous creature?     -and I asked a couple questions of the care-taker, speaker, that brought the creature to the nursery

there was effort required on my part to even break my eye-contact so I could talk to..

Nancy, I think her name is.    and, "what is this owl's name?"

and she explained..   as a scientist. she is a scientist.   -that, they do not name the owls.  not in a personal way, only identified with scientific category names

so, to my understanding, I was looking at

  -I mean, more accurately, I had been mesmerized and hypnotized by

one of the largest owl's in the world. an eurasion eagle owl..  is how scientists identify it

and not, like

well, I just have to name creatures.   I am a poet, not a scientist.   we like to connect.  

not just observe.   but nancy,

/and thank goodness I do not have to describe her to you as...  
       Animalia                  Chordata
      Homo                                                               sapien   

but, nancy,  -she explained the reason they don't name them, like pets, is because

well, they are not pets.   they belong in the wild world, and to the wild world, not to humans,

and so,

the not-naming is born from a personal science community moral code which is noble in intention, motivation and gesture:

responsibility. respect. reverence.

so, from their scientific perspective; not naming is a form of honoring our responsibility to respect the fact we don't own them like pets  

but we are responsible to protect them; which is a form of revering..

-that's my take on what she explained.

and what happen write about this time in our conversation, was that I turned around, and..


like, all the kids were gone.   and Anthony..   the tour-guide for that particular tour..   gone.   they had all moved on to the next part of the tour, and I was not even conscious of the fact they had all left..

20+ children! walked write past me..

I was so engaged, enthralled, mesmerized by this perfectly quiet and still slow blinking beautiful feathered oval shaped

-I locked eyes one last time.    I telepathically said:

you just hypnotized me!    -good job.      and then I slow blinked back a pleasure meeting you to the eurasion eagle owl and verbalized a big "Thank You!" to the kind homo sapien speaker/teacher/scientist

and then when hunting for where all those beautiful children went..

In Jesus...  Thank God Jesus has a name! name..   amen!

alden lane's awesome school tours
alden lane

Friday, October 28, 2016

there IS a quantifiable unknown -by (me!), sandra, tvgp

there are both quantifiable unknowns and unquantifiable knowns.   so, sometime I do in fact, wonder..   I wonder if I have done the most actual writing out of everyone in the world; to date.

this is not from a place of competition or ego.  this is from a place of very pure curiosity.  as I go through my boxes again..   and see/consider, not only my 11 years, 4000 posts here, but

come across journal after journal..

and then consider how many journals ive written in, cover to cover, and burned...

although it is quantifiable.. that is, if one kept track from jotting of first word to end of life/last word..

there does exist a word and page count.   but the track has not been kept.   so I wont, and cant know..

but, may I confess here, I do marvel at my own out put.    not in a positive way, but sympathetic..

compassionate.   and if I consider the quality of my life without this form of communication..

anyway..   ive rid myself of several more journals, and have come to prefer typing to writing, and this blog platform to paper journals.  and ive always preferred writing to talking

it remains true still:  the analogy; writing is like driving a hybrid on the highway...  I can go and go and go without using much energy..    talking is like driving an SUV in San Francisco..  I can do it, but the amount of energy it requires..      consuming/taxing

i.e.,  in bible study group, I was asked about meeting Ayesha Curry..  
and if you read my blog post about it... lots of detail, emotion, excitement...  lots of words used to tell the experience.    but what came out of me verbally at bible study

"yes.. that was exciting.  made me happy.   the last shall go first...    "

   -that is literally all I said.    /I'm tired people, I'm working 7 days a week...

and you and I both know people, who would, in conversation, go on and on.. hold court, as the saying goes..   but if you asked them to write about it:    -struggle.

   what is your primary form of communicating?    anyway..    there are lots of us out there..

  -mega bloggers.    and, without the innovation of the blogosphere; this was unknown too..

  -what is not quantifiable, but known; to (me!)   -the healing powers of writing.   -the (vocabulary word?)  significance/gratification of using God given instincts/talents/gifts   -the growth that takes place from the thinking that takes place during writing   -creative growth    -relationships enhanced, saved,   -personal evolution...       lots of unquantifiables; but clearly known/experienced..

and what is not quantifiable, is what takes place for readers who enjoy, or feel validated, or grow, or think about..  or reconsider..  or are influenced... or inspired into action     -as a result of reading someones writing..

I only revisit all of this because I have come across an abundance of journals ive written..

my God.. I never shut up.


and there is a quantifiable number of documentaries ive watched..   but track has not been kept here either..   I can only guess, and that guess is

a lot!

and very happy/fulfilled/delighted to add to that number two more outstanding documentaries:  and what happen, miss simone.

so, its all the tv/movie watching I need & love:   joyce meyer, bishop t.d. jakes, my Charlie rose, my CBS sunday morning,  "The Voice!"

  -THAT VOICE!     -all my imaginary bettin' money is on the table for We McDonald..

honey, did you see/hear her sing Mary J Bliges, No More Drama?!?

and an occasional movie/documentary..     someone else's life story to get lost in..   and learn from..

and I will close with this:

I really don't need to see anymore famous musician documentaries.. even though I thoroughly enjoyed Nina Simone's..

  the life pattern is so..

well, there is a very predictable pattern.  change the singer/change the scenery; repeat the patterns..

Janis Joplin, Ray, Tina Turner..   long list        struggle, drugs, abusive relationships; exploitation; fame not being  all its cracked up to be..    money not being the answer..

but I am curious,  -because, if you fast forward a couple decades, there will be more documentaries, movies, shows created about the young adults participating/competing on The Voice today

and will the pattern be broken?    -for your sake; I pray so..        is anyone learning from past generations?  or just repeating...

I pray we see some evolution..

In Jesus, what a gift to hear their vocal gifts, name..   amen! 

Thursday, October 27, 2016

..that's not very nice... laughs (me!) sandra, tvgp

The Heart Seen... contribution from (shirley stewart!)

sent via text, with the message:
something about this picture made me think of you

"Thank You! Shirley!"

..means more to me than most people realize to watch this collection grow!  xoxox

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

ALDEN LANE'S AWESOME! SCHOOL TOURS photographed by (me!), sandra, tvgp

tour guide: pam    -exceptional!
tractor/hay ride driver: cirilo    -way fun!
children:  2nd graders:   -precious!


it all went by too fast..   let us enjoy it, again..  & again,  at our own pace:

In Jesus Name,  a very big "Thank YOU!"