SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

Thoughts on turning 50.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

as i have said before..  "i am in my spiritual prime!". i am only and exclusively thrilled.  i have zero attachment to my youth.

but i do like to say for fun.. that for (me!)../ i am one of those people who feels like their real life did not start until after i had children.

so;  by that calendar, i am finally turning 18 and just now an adult by legal standards.

***

i stopped getting 'fresh coats of paint'  -that is, dying my hair.  or rather having my hair dyed by professionals..   when? i did not write it down and have not kept track..

but i am just allowing the gray to come in naturally..   slowly transitioning in front of everyone.. 

my favorite conversation..    and i must point out here, that this inspires MANY conversations,  as i am a woman in my 2016 California culture going gray , apparently some type of social suicide;   but entirely accepted and common for men..

and to really drive that point home; just how counterculture it is for a woman to go without dying her hair to hide the gray at the tender, and very young age of 50!?!

this act of absolute incomprehensible rebellion inspires more conversations than the tattoo on my face!    anyway..

 one of my favorite conversations was this:

him:    ".. there is something different...  your hair..."

(me!):   " i am welcoming in my crown of splendor..."

him:   "..  i like the way you worded that..  crown of splendor..  naturally a poet would come up with that..."

(me!):   "..those are not my words..  its in the bible"

him:   "...  oh, no one ever reads that book.. you can claim those words your own."

***

and that gave me the internal giggles the rest of the day...

***

Proverbs 16:31

posted by SHE @ 9:40 AM 0 comments

Larry Harrison.. my awesome brother... (gene simmons!)

-type the word toastmaster in the search bar of this blog.

posted by SHE @ 7:42 AM 0 comments

The Heart Seen by (me!) sandra, tvgp

   -see.  to make my point..  another sticky, messy heart on the floor.  this one can be seen only as a result of a recent full store redesign still in progress..  and like the prior post, will also disappear during the upcoming pressure wash... 

posted by SHE @ 9:11 AM 0 comments

The Heart(s) Seen.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

   -on the floor at ricks picks in pleasanton. im particularly fond of this find because it is write next to a mirrored coffee table; double blessings.    and there are actually several sticky, messy heart shapes to be found on the floor..

which will disappear soon because the floor will be pressure washed.   so there's an analogy for you...  

posted by SHE @ 9:07 AM 0 comments

The Martian, by (andy weir!) and movie by (ridley scott!)

on monday night i stood in front of the redbox at the local Safeway and over-used my index finger sliding through movie selection after movie selection, with such a hunger to get lost in someone elses story.   ...slide... slide...slide...  

-nothin'

went home empty handed.

then last night  -without even asking or suggesting, my nephew sets up the tv  -somehow, and asks me if i want to watch the martian.

"Yes Please!".  -my sister gave it rave reviews..  -had seen it with Matt and so, he was watching for a second time.

-that's its own testimony; sitting through a movie more than once..

and  -DIRECT HIT!  ... 15 minutes in, I was aware 'this is so my kind of movie!'.  -glued.

very well directed; edited; executed...   great film! and im trusting, without knowing, that this film is up for something..  some big award/recognition at the upcoming oscars

~where you will be seeing (me!) on the red carpet with my russell crowe

once that movie gets made. 

***

and it would take more time and energy than I have to share in detail the variety of thoughts and imaginations this movie inspired in me throughout its beautiful unfolding, but

one:  -i remembered when the blogosphere opened..  and i was able to see..  there was a large population of people who DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NEW with the new potential of this platform..

essentially they just moved their writing and advertising and same rules/regulations.. same business models, same everything, from printed paper to a blog.

what a waste!

and in my imagination, i thought..  please.. if humanity is presented with the revolutionary opportunity to populate another planet..

please! do not let us just do all the same stupid things we are doing here. -staying the same but just moving to a new location.

please! let it serve as an opportunity to grow and evolve and do new and improved things...   

-for this I sure do frequently pray in Jesus name,  -amen.

posted by SHE @ 7:50 AM 0 comments

things you need to know about vision boards, by (me!) sandra, tvgp

1.   there are wildly successful people who never have and never will create a vision board.  

2.  there are wildly successful people who have

3.  there are people who have created vision boards but have never experienced direct results.

4.  if you are inspired or inclined toward creating a vision board, what this allows you to do is think about, and then SEE,  -maybe even share,  -what is INSIDE you..  what hopes, wishes, prayers and dreams...

the way a mirror reflects your physical, outward appearance and allows you to SEE what color your eyes and hair and skin are; etc.

is the same way a vision board reflects your hopes, wishes, prayers and dreams..

vision boards are a different type of mirror....   ;an internal mirror.

that said,   -yes, i have created one.  it was quite some time ago.  for a creative like myself, the process itself is very exciting

i used a large bulletin board.  colorful papers i had in my personal inventory..   images from the internet..   and blank CD covers! -which was my favorite of my ideas because it made my vision board interactive..  a visual image on the cover and supporting text on the inside.   i also LOVE being able to type in different colors and font styles as a way to better express...

/and I very much miss having this tool set easily accessible when I blog..  if it were available my stories would be each looking a little different..  a font to match, validate the mood; the experience..

anyway..  if you type the words

vision board in the search bar of this blog, it will provide access to a shutterfly slideshow of my vision board.

and it is true for (me!) that the visions on my board are in fact manifesting over time...

"thank you Jesus!".  ...and " thank you! " here also to Cindy fisher luck..  my life coach at the time who gave me this assignment...

!  creating this was a very joyful experience...

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The Heart Seen in Japan & sent to me by (jane berry!)

-what a beauty!  Per Jane:  heart cloud appeared on last day of World Scout Jamboree held in Japan this past summer. It was a 10 day couture exchange of 40,000 scouts from all over the world.  All had fun Shari g food, games, and stories of their various homelands.  All was peaceful.

posted by SHE @ 9:11 AM 0 comments

The Heart Seen exhibit.. coming soon to Livermore, Calif Church

public "thank you!" here to Charlotte Severin.  My

THE HEART SEEN exhibit will be on display during lent
at the First Presbyterian Church in Livermore, California

Wed. Feb 10, 2016 - Easter.    Over 50 photographs from my collection! of  heart shapes found in the environment but not created with human intention.    "& Thank You Jesus!". -amen

#charlotteseverin

posted by SHE @ 3:07 PM 0 comments

within walking distance! for (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 12:41 PM 0 comments

Been there, won that. -yes, (me!) sandra, tvgp

tall glass of water    -on the rock please.

***

the reason i declined the invitation is because..  well, it came to me, that saying.. 'Been there. Done that.'.   Only, I realized that the majority of the people in the group had not..   they were just arriving.

i knew in advance I'd be listening to story after story of people who are stuck.. 

and it is very important; -very important! that when we are stuck..

-not that we 'stick together' but rather

we aim to get un-stuck together.  but it just didn't seem fair, that they'd be sharing things like,

-divorce..  or the prelude to; or aftermath of.   because

'been there. won that.  -as in, the battle.  let's make that battle(s).

or, death or loss..  

'been there..'

or, addictions; self-doubt; bankruptcy; unexpected termination of employment or a relationship; betrayal by someone less evolved;

struggles of moving.. raising children..  victim of abuse of one form or another..  PTSD...

i am unstuck.    moving forward.   it is not that i am not without compassion or a desire to help.  I have both in great abundance.  It is in recognizing that in order to move forward..

I cannot sit for hours and hours listening to others who are..

trust me. I know. I remember. It is awful!

but the very best way I can actually be of help.  True help. Is to move forward into a new, improved, beautiful, peaceful and rewarding place so that you know..

It can be done.  No matter where you are stuck.  -because look from how deep and dark the pit was from which Gods love unburied & unstuck (me!)

***

so it passed through my imagination..  all these stories of woe..

and painful transitions; and very valid and justifiable anger and upset and confusion

and then me going like,  "well, I'm in transition too...

because I was living cash advance to cash advance, and then, pay check to pay check and now "I HAVE A SAVINGS ACCOUNT!"

I hardly no what to do with all this money..  and when you are barely surviving, making financial decisions is pretty easy: food, gas, bills.. Obama-care

but when you have..  "Oh my good God! 
~money left over!   I have money left over!

?  -now what do I do?   -this is a very difficult transition, because I want to do it write.. 

and, I'm really scared too..  because, well, not only am I transitioning into a financially wealthy person, with all the decision-making skills & savvy that requires..

But I'm becoming famous too.  like, before all this..  I might do a reading or a workshop for maybe 200 people at the very, very, most..

but now..   !...    and, if you are an extrovert, this might be very exciting but if you are an introvert...  

-that's just a whole 'nother set of challenges I have to face..

Is anyone else here facing these challenges? -transitioning into a happy, healthy, grateful rich and famous person?

***

and in my imagination..  there was no one else in this particular group who was...

-and that just seem like a set-up for more awkward than amusing.

but I offer this:   I know a lot about painful transitions and a lot about getting stuck.  I'm practically an expert on all things sticky.
So, feel free to read and see just what it took:   because you too have

"the write to be free!"

***

and as each of you get unstuck, you are invited to join (me!) for a tall glass of pure water   ~on the rock.  in this group we don't talk too much about old times...

In Jesus keeps his promises name!   ~amen!

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My Night at the Oscars. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

hot. black. coffee.

***
K..   so, i have the recurring dream of being at the Oscars with Russell crowe,  -and very detailed visions of..   

...and my dress.

K..    and then, I also have recurring visions of rick Cahall in a tux at the Oscars, but he is always by himself

I've not been able to quite interpret this..  but I had rick on the phone some time ago and mentioned this to him..     Remember here, that rick Cahall is a retired San leandro police officer..

So he says to me,  -he says,  "nope. I'm never going to be at the Oscars or wearing a tux...    (Pause)

Unless I'm the security"

***

and this very morning, several weeks/months? post this conversation the answer finally came to (me!):

like, -of course!  if i am ever alone and within kissing distance of Russell crowe he is going to need some serious protection.

posted by SHE @ 6:55 AM 0 comments

Live Mannequin in the Window. (me!) sandra, tvgp

"How much for the Writer in the window?". 

posted by SHE @ 1:33 PM 0 comments

"To the universe!" from (me!) sandra, tvgp

what happen, was i was walking down the kitchen aisle, write about near all the garlic presses, vegetable choppers, cheese slicers and ceramic peelers..

/"ceramic peelers!".  -remember that story?  Type the word in the search bar..  I don't have time to retell it..

anyway, I'm walking down the kitchen aisle and I rub my hands together, and say out loud, in the optimistic voice, volume and tone the good Lord has given me, I say..

"I'm gonna sell a couch today"

K.  -and julie applauds my declaration...

and very shortly thereafter, one guess what happens...

so, Julie says,  " -see! -you put that out to the universe and it happened"

-and that's a pretty awesome concept...  Oprah says it too..  "I spoke my success into being.."

So, I hurried back to the kitchen aisle..  because I still haven't quite figured out how all this works..

and tried to stand in about the same hot spot, and I said,

"I'm going to the Oscars with Russell crowe!".  -and I rubbed my hands together... 

K..

then I stood there, in case the spot itself has some mystical powers, and I said,

" cure for cancer! end to human trafficking! equality for all people!  human beings actually evolving....

***

and the entire store is being redesigned write now.. so, I'm not sure where I should stand..

except I sure hope it is write next to Russell

My Russ..

Just wait til he sees the dress I have picked out!   ~Amen!

posted by SHE @ 9:19 AM 0 comments

Main St. Brewery wed. night: (michael james!)

-performing on his new and very own replica of Eric Clapton's guitar painted by john 'crash' matos..

turned out gorgeous!

and I'm told Eric Clapton's 'crash' painted guitar apparently made its debut at the royal Albert hall in 2001...

which my readers know will trigger my 'if Joe bonnamassa gets to perform with Eric Clapton

then ....  "(Me!) and Dr Maya Angelou!"...  dream.   which, painfully has no way now of ever coming true...

But! I did get to write and perform 'kissin' the chocolate blues' with the phenomenal faith Alpher..  So,

-valentines to heaven...  

See you Wednesday.  " cheers!"
..

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Fake Basketball? as seen by (me!) -writeousmom.

(me!): "I'm STILL trippin'..  i can't get over how real..  the graphics! on your video basketball game..   it's like..

-if you look from a programmers perspective..    its like only 3 hours away from being unable to distinguish from..  a real basketball game..."

son:  "i know."

(me!):    "...and then.. like from an emotional, psychological perspective..  how crazy easy it is to get involved as if it is a real basketball game..  all the same investment and emotions.. reactions.."

son:  "yeah"

(me!):   "I was talking to your grandpa about it..  the programming"

son:  "what did he say?"

(me!):  "he said..  'That is all so far over my head!'. 

Son:   -laughs a little.

(me!):  " I guess...  well its kinda like getting lost in a movie..  the same thing..  you know its a movie, but you let yourself have the same reactions as if it were real..   or, you don't ~let~ yourself..  you just do have the same reactions..

son: "yes. its like a movie that you get to control.   -that's why they call it a video game."

(me!):  "oh."

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The common look/location of holes in clothes on (ricks picks!) employees

posted by SHE @ 9:15 AM 0 comments

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The black sweater with hole in shoulder.. seen on (me!) In this picture

posted by SHE @ 9:12 AM 0 comments

The Black Marker on my skin trick. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

Coffee.

***
I do not sew.  or mend.   I hire professionals.  I cannot currently afford professionals and so..

I have the cutest! Black knit sweater from Kohls..  one of the nicer tops I ever wear to work and it makes me appear a little more put together, and I love the length, the fit the style.   -you can't really wear nicer things to ricks picks because its a very physical job, sometimes dirty/messy and it ruins your clothes.  -all of us have ended up with the exact same series of tiny holes at the lower stomach area of our tops/shirts from carrying boxes back and forth..    they look like little moth holes...

anyway..  the hole in my sweater was on the shoulder, so not sure of its origin, but..  the sweater is black and my skin is white, so

BLATANT.     and when I walked past one of the mirrors in our store

"Which are on SALE for 25% off..  and such a beautiful selection..  "

it distracted me.   So..  I went and got a black marker and colored all over my shoulder where the hole was...   and, "it worked."

when I finally had the cash to get it officially repaired, I mentioned it out loud to the lady at the register..   "can this be fixed?.. because I've been just coloring my skin with a marker so it doesn't show.."

-and the gentlemen behind me cracked up at that.   and he confessed he does the same thing with his socks..

"..you just color your big toe to match the sock!  it works doesn't it..."

and that got me to laughing..

and landed me another telephone number.

posted by SHE @ 9:06 AM 0 comments

Beverage menu for my readers from (me!) sandra, tvgp

K.  if I'm drinking coffee, which I am write now. that = truth/CNF.

if I'm drinking wine or beer or any cocktail...  like, a sexy devil chocolatini...   the emphasis of my CNF will probably be on the C and the F...

if I'm drinking water..  which I consume the very most of..  you'll have to figure things out as you read along

-because remember?  ..the first miracle in the bible...   

Jesus turned the water ~into~ wine.

posted by SHE @ 8:52 AM 0 comments

Student in world training. (Me!) sandra, tvgp

I am in my spiritual prime; its true.  decades of spiritual training with a couple of my greatest teachers being Joyce Meyer and bishop t.d. Jakes.    -and it is also true, that I am in this world but not -of- this world.

since I'm here though..  I'm quite aware I could use some help.  Julie Koopmann it turns out is also a great teacher.  She is teaching me:

1. How to negotiate.   2. Tell stories. -which are not 'technically' lies.  3. How to behave like a normal human being around famous people.

more on all of this later...     

but the fun thing to keep in mind is...   "all the upcoming tests!"

***

posted by SHE @ 1:28 PM 1 comments

Watch Out World! for (me!) sandra, tvgp

(Me!):   "the world will never be the same!  I have learned how to drink wine and LIE!"

(Julie!):  "its not really lying its storytelling."

***

so there you have it..   never a bad lie.  just good stories.   "Cheers!"

posted by SHE @ 10:54 AM 0 comments

Awwww... "Thank you!" Mom... from (me!) your #1!

-and my daughter designed this card. says so on the back..   "thank you baby!". -great job

***
my mom has always made all three of her children feel very loved and extra special.  my older brother; her first born and only son.  my younger sister; very special ranking as 'the baby'.. last of the children she would give birth to..   and me..  in the middle..  but she always says #1 to mean 1st daughter...  

and my mom has also always made us feel extra special on our birthdays..  and even more so on milestone birthdays: 13, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40...   

and it turns out, my brother and I both have February bdays and we are 3 years apart so, when he turned 16, I was turning 13..  that's two milestone birthdays together, so she threw an extra big! party for the two of us together..   renting a space, hiring entertainment... catering..  you name it.

and when my brother was turning 21 I was turning 18..   two milestones in February again..   and a big birthday bash it was!! 

great memories.  -and we celebrated my brothers 50th in a big way 3 weeks ago..    /oh that was 3 years...   -see what happens..

and it is my turn this year.   and I am just so grateful because I know now, in a way I never quite knew before.. just how much love and time and effort and energy and phone calls.. and logistics..

she puts into any of her children's milestone birthday parties.

I LOVE YOU MOM!   and I'm very excited to party with my family, -because a very awesome family I do thank God I have..

***

in voice of Stevie wonder I sing,  "happy birthday to (me!) .. happy birthday to (me!)..  haaaaaPY biiiirrrrthday...

posted by SHE @ 10:08 AM 0 comments

let me guess... (nina simone!)

so, to mix things up a bit, i added Diana Krall radio to the stores Pandora music shuffle..

those of you familiar know that this then gives you music by the specific artist and also a variety of others who fall in the same genre..

morning customer:   "i love this music..  who is it?"

(me!):  "not sure.  let me look...  i love it too....

Nina Simone...  I want some sugar in my bowl..  essentials album"

***

afternoon customer:   "great music..  who is this..?"

(me!):   "you know I'm not sure..  I love it too.. let me go look..

Nina Simone...     she's putting a spell on us..."

***

evening customer:   "who sings this song?   I love this song"

(me!):  "I love this song too!  -sing along all the time and have no idea who it is.. 

but I might have a good guess now...

posted by SHE @ 9:34 AM 1 comments

Two great forms of inspiration.. for (me!) sandra, tvgp

i Used to discuss this with my creative writing students:  -how you can be inspired by both:

people with exceptional talent & people with none.

"I'd LOVE to be able to do that!!".   -and it propels you into action; to try

" oh my God.. I can do so much better than that!".   -and it propels you into action; to prove

posted by SHE @ 9:23 AM 0 comments

View from bar stool at tenuta winery. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 9:44 AM 0 comments

"Great Scott!" walter... by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-what happened you see..  well, what happened is that i apparently really got away with it..

(me!)..   the girl who cant act or lie to save her own life, as the saying goes.   and even when i do lie..  for playful fun, -im always certain the other person knows the truth and is just playing along.

but maybe!

and this still is just a big fat -maybe-

-when i was having playful fun and making up the story about my tattoo.  -how, "yes, in fact I did do some time...  but that was a long time ago.. and I found Jesus and turned my life around..."

well, according to my sister, he really did buy the story.. and confessed his own crimes to me..   /you know how honesty breeds honesty..

but my sister can act...  so..   and, bullshit also breeds more bullshit, so..  

once you get started it gets harder and harder to tell one from the other, and once you get started...

"do you really  -really- think he  -really?!- believed me?"

and i was so excited about the prospect of actually pulling off a lie, i decided to try it again!   with whatever person would open the door...

and I knew if I did really pull off that lie, that at least one of the ingredients that allowed me to do so was the wine I was drinking at tenuta..    /which one was it?   -I had tried a whole flight

"that's it then!".   and so the very next day I returned.  ordered the exact same flight and waited not at all patiently for a stranger to ask about my tattoo..

contrary to popular belief, it is actually pretty rare that people inquire, so.. 

I made sure to sit on left side of one of those young and handsome ones.  this at least makes my tattoo visible..  then! i started in with a little friendly conversation..  

that part comes very easy and natural to (me!)...   

then..   an internal " thank you Jesus" moment, because I could see he had a couple tattoos on those gorgeous guns of his..

I could feel the opportunity opening up write in front of me; if I only could take it..    and fake it...  but make it real.

i sped through my flight with less swirl, less smell and more swallow:

"nice ink".  I said with a smile.   and only gently touched his forearm.

he smiled back and told me he had been in the service..

I am always in the habit of thanking people in the military for their noble service.   -and so, I don't have to fake that..    

and then he seemed so nice, and down to earth, and cool to talk to, I came very close to staying genuine.   but..!.. 

I had it in my mind and heart that this might be my only perfectly set up opportunity for who knows how long..  maybe Jesus himself set it up..

he is merciful and mysterious that way..    'its okay to play Sandra.  you don't have to be serious all the time'

yes, about my 5th tasting of red wine I heard God say that..  give me a heavenly permission slip to try acting...

I was like, auditioning, for..  just (me!)..  just to see if I could do it..

and I was dying to see the look on his face..  dying to watch his expressions change..    I knew I could guide the conversation, and before you know it,

" that's a sexy little tattoo you have on your cheek..   what's it stand for?"

* Jesus * Jesus * Jesus *  please forgive me for what I'm about

"well, that's from a long time ago really.. " /I tried to appear a hint of shame and embarrassment; but just a hint.

"..served a little bit of time myself, but not in the military.. know what I mean?"

/oh please..  he was either taking this bait like a starving fish or more experienced at faking it than me..

but that's not the question I was waiting for, -really.  the real question I was waiting for...   

[dear Jesus..  if you really are at all responsible for setting this opportunity up for me then...].  -and sure a frickin' nuff,   -the clouds parted and the question came shining through..   with a  rainbow for a ribbon:

"what did you spend time for?"

[Its now or never,  NOW!  WRITE NOW! or never...]

/and so, I adopted a lower voice, softer voice, and leaned in a little nearer to him.   I can look people directly in the eyes; that part comes easy and natural to (me!)..

"...first put yourself in my broken shoes OK... ".  He nodded.   and what an attractive nod it was..  

" I had to pay rent...   I had to pay rent..   but I didn't have any money..   "

he communicated unconditional, nonjudgmental love toward me with his eyes, so I continued:

"I mean..  like, how is anyone supposed to make a couple grand in  just a couple days.. -write?"

he looked deeply interested in what I was about to reveal.  and kept seeming harder to lie to but more fun too.

"so, i started thinkin' ...  because you know how stupid people get when they're desperate..  i started thinkin'

about every. single. man. i had ever slept with..  every man i had, .. you know..  NOT -slept- with..  know what I mean.."

and he leaned closer to me so I didn't have to talk loud.  I think he wanted to protect my privacy.

"...-for free!!.. ". I said, with a disgusted audible whisper.  " free.  -free love..

and then i started to count..   to add up..   over all the years..  all the men... 

[And even Jesus.. when he saw the look on this young and handsome kids face...   Jesus himself could not resist!]

"...and then when I started to calculate:  like, let's say I charged $100 for a little of this, and $400 for a little of that..    $25 extra for here, $50 extra for there or there..   -you can see where I'm going with this, -write.

-and I'm not great with numbers...  but I am great with men, and..

not only could I pay the rent.. But I should be frickin' retired by now, sailing on a yacht in the Atlantic!"

/and if I never. -never- tell another lie for the rest of my life..  It would be because the expression on his face was so rewarding

-So gratifying to very marrow of the marrow in my bones..

I don't actually need to have the experience again.  It was that fulfilling.    A once is enough, who could ask for anything more moment in my life..

To experience being able to pull off such a story! And have him look as if he believed!   and look both so completely taken.. toward and away from me at the same time.    Like he didn't know if he should be checking his wallet or what..

"...and i was able to pay my rent..   ..   but I got caught doing it..

-making ends meet.".   /oh!  there really is a God.. and he loves (me!)

***

"so..    but I let Jesus get a hold of me..  my Lord and my savior...  -I've been forgiven..    

-and then he lifted his short sleeve way up high so I could see the gorgeous! tattoo of a cross he had on his very strong of a shoulder.

-and i kissed it.

and I said with a smile, I said,   -I whispered, " the kisses are free..

***

In Jesus untangled  name!  Amen!

posted by SHE @ 9:30 AM 0 comments

The Heart Seen... by my (squidmann!)

per email:  ".. my latest contribution for your collection. It's actually a water chestnut found in some Chinese food.  I bet you don't already have one of these!"

-correct!  "Thank you squidmann!".  love it.  Happy 2016!

posted by SHE @ 10:57 AM 0 comments

Oooohhhh. -so thats a triple double. learns (me!) sandra, tvgp #warriors @writeousmom

now you know my sister and i are convert sports fans beginning last year.  and we are quite devoted to our warriors, screaming and shouting and coaching and cheering from our living room..

and we have only missed seeing one game so far this season.. which does help explain how it is they are the world champions they are    -write.  notice the connection...   soon as we started watching; they started winning..

anyway..  we are still admittedly in the ) part of the learning curve when it comes to the actual rules of the game..  and correct vocabulary.

so for example..  on the occasions curry shoots..  and the very rare occasion he misses..  and there is no one under the hoop to help -assist-  it in, I've been shouting, "where is your assist?!?   Assist him!!  Assist Assist that ball.. Oh my God have mercy...  Get back under that hoop!"

K.  and I mean well..  but what my dad recently explained is that..  when, say, bogut, is near/under the hoop and magically turns an almost shot into a most definitely..   that is not an -assist-

that is called a rebound.   

assist, apparently means,  -if I understand correctly:  when the basketball gets thrown from one player to another..  and the 'another' shoots it in.

so, k..  whatever..   either way you have one player assisting the other, but I have vowed to yell "rebound!! already..  get the frickin' rebound..  don't let that opportunity go to waste..!".  Instead of " get down there and assist?!? already...  you know this!  come on...!"

my sister hasnt had as many vocabulary blunders because mostly she makes lots of dramatic sound effects and shouts "haven't you been practicing!?!  -come on!".  -and " woooo hooooo!  that's what I've been talkin' about!"

-so she is in no position really to even notice my blunders and call me out on them..  like:

sister:   "whats a triple double anyway?"

(me!):  "it must be where someone gets three two-pointers in a row."

-she believed me.  and, really i believed me too..  -makes sense doesn't it..

(me!):  "you know I'm not 100% sure what it is..  I think the sportscasters just like hearing themselves say it..   'Triple double this and triple double that..'.   

***

so it wasn't until I watched a game with my dad in the room.. 

and if I have it correct what it actually means is:

double digits in assists; rebounds & score.  minimum of 10 points earned in each category in a game...

-and I just wanna say for the worlds record:   " congratulations warriors!".  /and next bar I go to I'm going to order '.. make it a triple double'

-because it really is fun to say that..  and doesn't that sound delicious.

"Cheers! to authentic fanuaries....& amen!"

posted by SHE @ 9:46 AM 0 comments

...this is wow!... (the beautiful bartons!)

how long since i last spoke with Kate? my beautiful and talented cofounder of movers & shakers creative dance class..   but we caught up over the phone.. exchanged some memories, stories and pictures...    -and great to learn her two daughters are thriving.. one a sophomore in college..  the other a high school senior..  and Kate and i with still so much in common: retail; tattoo; mixed media art...    -filled my heart up to talk with you..  LOVE & Happy New Year! 

posted by SHE @ 8:21 AM 0 comments

...that was then.... (movers & shakers!)

posted by SHE @ 8:17 AM 0 comments

I spy my lucky number! (Me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 4:01 PM 0 comments

The Countdown is on... for (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 3:36 PM 0 comments

The Heart Seen... by (me!) on pre-cleaned floor

posted by SHE @ 7:24 AM 0 comments

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Public "WOW!" to (anne jewett!) -spectacular window! Xoxo

posted by SHE @ 10:09 AM 0 comments

posted by SHE @ 10:07 AM 0 comments

posted by SHE @ 10:07 AM 0 comments

"Thank you!" from (me!) -auntie sandy.

as my niece walked down the stairs:  "auntie sandy...   what are you doing?!"

(me!):   "practicing some new dance moves."

niece:   "you're weird!"

(me!):   "thank you sugar.  ive seen normal.  i have no interest."

posted by SHE @ 7:11 AM 0 comments

Translator please. for (me!) sandra, tvgp

(me!):   "yes.. hi doc...  its your neighbor across the street at ricks picks.  i was wondering if you guys carry spickets.."

doc:   "im not sure I know what that is..  a spicket"

(me!):   "you know...  its that thing that connects to one of those ceramic jars where you get water from.."

doc:  "Hmm.  I'm still not sure I know what youre talking about"

(me!):   K.  You know those, like, ceramic containers, and then those 3 gallon water jugs..  and you pour it in..  the ceramic part..   but in order to actually get water it has to go through that thing..

doc: "can you take a picture and text it to me"

(me!):   "yes..  that might be easier... i can't figure out what I'm trying to say.   I'm pretty sure its called a spicket."

***

doc:   "oh!  no. We don't have any of those in the store..  but you should be able to order one online pretty easily."

***

and I don't have this verbatim of course, but the just of it for sure.  And he must have said the magic words,  

the two frickin' words I could not get out of my parched brain to save my own life:    water & dispenser.    

but once I had the magic words,  "voila!"

"SPIGOT"

***

in actual English, my request would have sounded something like this:

"Hi doc.   do you guys carry spigots for water dispensers?"

-and it turns out I can very easily order one online.  so now I'm checking also for a sandra-speak translator...

   -but in the mean time I'd like to express my gratitude for the phone camera..   and doc's patient customer service from true value hardware.

In Jesus name,   -amen.   /   -which is,  you know, that one word you say, at the end of a prayer, or..  when you really feel like someone just said a truth that hit home with you..  that word you shout or sing, or..  whisper..  but its usually at the end, and sometimes when you really mean it..   or feel it, or agree, you say it twice...

posted by SHE @ 9:02 AM 0 comments

"World Champions!". -personal favorite picture sent to (me!) -writeousmom

posted by SHE @ 7:21 AM 0 comments

wine bottle art. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-very! excited to be preparing now, and over the next several months, for what i believe will be:

the most exciting

most well attended

and!

the most profitable!    art event of my life thus far.

***

this picture is of the wine bottle i created for my mom as a mothers day gift a few years back. the 3 hearts representing her 3 children.  i will be making 12 new designs, each with its own theme for the upcoming event, along with a couple of my photography books, and small variety of mixed media pieces..

but gone now are my 'true days off'. because on every day off from ricks picks I will be working on my art.   -they were beautiful while they lasted, my true days off..  great visits with my mom, family,  -long conversations over coffee with friends..  and glorious hours spent lounging across the sofas at the vine and getting lost in someone else's story for a while..      -great memory of a double feature with my daughter: Brooklyn & spotlight.

***

maybe! this year..   the oscars at the vine...  I've been wanting to for a good long time.

***

in Jesus holy & creative name,   -amen!

posted by SHE @ 7:14 AM 0 comments

Friends For Life. @ (tenuta winery!). #2 by (me!) sandra, tvgp

my sisters friends were pouring at tenuta winery in Livermore, which created the incentive for a recent visit...

a REvisit!

it is  -from what I'm told, only one of two  -out of over 50! wineries in Livermore owned and operated by a woman:  Nancy tenuta.   and she works in collaboration with her boyfriend/partner of many years:  rich.    -that's him on the far left waving to you..

when rich came out and said hello with a handshake and 'hug.. but not in a creepy way' as he likes to explain.. but in a warm and welcoming way

i said to him, "yes..  I had the pleasure of meeting you ten years ago, at a book release party..   nice to see you again."

and we all ..   that is, anyone who knows me, knows:

the reason I was able to recall and say that, is thank you to this very blog.   #2 on my happy 10 year blogging anniversary to (me!) list of the top ten reasons I love my blog:

external memory storage!

when my sister said tenuta..   it sounded familiar...  most i could come up with was an insecure..  'i think maybe that's where we had a book release for one of the 4th street salon anthologies..'

Ah! but when i typed tenuta in the search bar of my blog:

"Viola!"

and I can see in the re-read it came out in the form of a memory vs. a creative nonfiction story.   i never know in advance which form my writing will take.  i start writing and honor what comes..

***

and we had an exceptionally good, cant-wait-to-get-back, wine tasting time at tenuta..    great crowd, wonderful wines, fun visits..

you will find FFL on all their corks:  Friends For Life.   -both the name of their wine club membership program and the very feel and vibe of the wine tasting room.

***

2 encounters worth special note:   Janette!  -in conversation she made the beautiful mistake of telling (me!)

(me!), Sandra the designer-paper, mixed media, mag time frame, scrapbbook, altered art, all things paper queen!

-that she  -SHE!-  is a paper-goods buyer/designer for Cost Plus World Market!

i nearly took off all my clothes.  but kept my manners and just exchanged contact information.

***

dear Jesus..  you know i could NOT resist!   -I'm pretty sure I've only done this like, 3 times in the ten years I've had my tattoo:

"... i did have to serve some time.  but that was quite a while ago..  i found Jesus and turned my life around..

..it wasn't any -one- thing..     more like a series of several bad things in a row.."

-and then he confessed serving time for cocaine..

but how can I know whether we were both BS'ing each other..?

But ...very fun regardless.

***
"Thank you Keeshie!...  Kerri.. Ruth...   Rich...  Ryan...  Janette...  fellow wine-tasting stranger-friends..

" salute!"

posted by SHE @ 6:48 AM 0 comments

pencil colored by (me!) & (taryn!)

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digitally colored by (jack!)

posted by SHE @ 6:02 PM 0 comments

Harrison Sisters 2015. Jewelry by (julie koopmann!) AKA: ju ju koop

posted by SHE @ 12:40 PM 0 comments

i - spied a dinosaur (me!) sandra, ttgp

posted by SHE @ 8:58 AM 7 comments

KENFARKASH.COM

posted by SHE @ 8:57 AM 0 comments

"HI KEN! WE MISS YOU!" from all of (us!)

posted by SHE @ 8:56 AM 3 comments

TOWNE CENTER BOOKS, KEN FARKASH, DEBRA KNOX & UNCLE DAVE by (me!) sandra, tvgp

orig post: 5/25/09
***


thanks be to God for an awesome, wonderful weekend!

big thank you to JUDY WHEELER for hosting my book release party at towne center books saturday morning. - and to my dad, his wife, chris, my mom, my sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter... it started out sad for me actually

based on passerby conversations, emails, phone calls i expected to see lots of my neighbors/friends, but at 11am, start time.. it was my family only

and that's not sad.. that makes me feel damn lucky! and i just smile here, because over the years, no matter what their children are up to, -my poetry readings, or larry's rock n' roll band performing, or keeshie's sign language performance.. any reason, any time, any child, any performance

mom, dad, often their spouses, brother, sister: ALWAYS THERE.

and for a bit of time.. 2-5 minutes which felt like an hour, it looked like i'd be reading to my family and my family alone, which i would have went write ahead and done -and they would have been loving/supportive/comforting listeners

but then.. oh! thank you! thank you! here comes CARLA! and she brought a friend! and FRANK! -what a treat! a great surprise! and the ENTIRE COLEMAN FAMILY! (save my 1st tiger, michael, excused/forgiven for nobel work ethic), and CHRISTINE! and LISA SANCHES! and KATIE & VIRGINIA LAI! thank you! and PIA MURPHY! and then.. how wonderful.. ANNE MARIE GALLAGHER! so supportive! and DEBORAH GROSSMAN! (happy birthday!), KATHY MIMA! -great to see you

and then a couple people that would stay/listen, and that i would meet for

the first time

and then, an earth angel lady sitting in the chair to my left.. with a hat, scarf.. who paid me such a kind compliment, by asking me to read more -THANK YOU!-

my confession is this.. STILL.. to this day.. with something as innocent, low-key, hometown, family/friends comfortable as a reading at towne center books -i spent my morning sick. couldn't eat. couldn't drink. anxious stomach. -kills me that this continues as a battle in my life. silly. stupid. frustrating. but even though i know that's true, the physical experience remains.. coexist. coexist. coexist with your nerves

and it could have been a book release party where i didn't do a formal read, and people just dropped in for a visit open house style; judy even offered

but i wanted to read out loud. i wanted to share at least one story i'd written.. wanted to share at least a little something about the nature of this self-published book

and here is another idiosyncratic confession.. when i read at home.. practice at home.. it is not out loud. i read silently. in my mind only. -sometimes with a barely audible whisper.

so i really don't hear my own voice until i'm reading in front of people.

and get choked up here.. because immediatlely i hear tori amos singing,

" i hear my voice. i hear my voice. and it's been silent all these years. silent

all these years"

anyway..

once i get started, i enjoy it. and i prefer sitting to standing. do better sitting. and personally, i think it's funny -i can find humor in the fact that my nerves are always re-directing themselves somewhere

on this occasion, my knees and voice were under control, but my hands were very shakey. for as long as i didn't need to turn the page, i was in good shape, but lifting my hands to turn the page was a struggle. coexist. coexist.

- and this reminding me of my experience at the bankhead.. greatest variety of nerve redirection i've ever experienced. if voice/knees/hands were under control, then i had a preoccupying cough.. if not a cough, a severly dry mouth, if not a cough/dry mouth, then an upset stomach

much like a long lost love; the feelings never entirely go away, they just shift around and change intensity

but i did it. i read out loud, i enjoyed myself tremendously, i'm so grateful for the presence of every family member, friend, kind listener. and i'll be looking for opportunities to read more

(SAVE THE DATE: JULY 4TH AT THE VETERANS HOSPITAL LIVERMORE)

and more thanks to GITA and everyone at AMELIA'S.. for the great lunch (and breakfast!) food and service saturday afternoon for the post party celebration

and even more thanks to SUE~SUE, CHRISTINE, ZACH

for driving! for our mini-roadtrip to berkeley saturday evening to see KEN FARKASH, his faithful, sweet dog, JACQUES, and -the dinosaur we know, love and miss having here in pleasanton: RUNNA JUMPA SAURUS REX

such a great gallery show at the beautiful/artsy, two mile winery. -wonderful, original sculptures/paintings, great people, fantastic environment/experience, delicious wines

and really..

all this in one otherwise ordinary saturday in may 2009.

THEN

woke up to enjoy an usually wonderful sunday too. back to back good times:

church, which i've come to not only appreciate, but need -then lunch with my sister, niece and nephew

then a happy birthday lunch with and for debra knox at a wonderful greek restaurant in livermore, demitris traverna -and great pleasure meeting her talented son, john, the love of her life, mike.. a group of long time, fun, creative friends: writers, film makers, graphic designers, hobby-cartoonist, musicians, moms/dads -cool, real, people

and loved how debra went around the table and celebrated each friendship, with kind words for each person

and i tuck in another personal thank you to God.. for such a great weekend. for how lucky/blessed i am to count among my friends/family so many rare, wonderful, kind, talented, generous, creative, supportive people

to count among my life experiences this beautiful event-filled memorial day weekend.

almost forgot..

owe myself a sexy devil chocolatini from pastas today for not chickening out.

"cheers all around!" and "thank you!" love, ~s.

posted by SHE @ 8:55 AM 2 comments

posted by SHE @ 8:54 AM 0 comments