SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

"Great Scott!" walter... by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-what happened you see..  well, what happened is that i apparently really got away with it..

(me!)..   the girl who cant act or lie to save her own life, as the saying goes.   and even when i do lie..  for playful fun, -im always certain the other person knows the truth and is just playing along.

but maybe!

and this still is just a big fat -maybe-

-when i was having playful fun and making up the story about my tattoo.  -how, "yes, in fact I did do some time...  but that was a long time ago.. and I found Jesus and turned my life around..."

well, according to my sister, he really did buy the story.. and confessed his own crimes to me..   /you know how honesty breeds honesty..

but my sister can act...  so..   and, bullshit also breeds more bullshit, so..  

once you get started it gets harder and harder to tell one from the other, and once you get started...

"do you really  -really- think he  -really?!- believed me?"

and i was so excited about the prospect of actually pulling off a lie, i decided to try it again!   with whatever person would open the door...

and I knew if I did really pull off that lie, that at least one of the ingredients that allowed me to do so was the wine I was drinking at tenuta..    /which one was it?   -I had tried a whole flight

"that's it then!".   and so the very next day I returned.  ordered the exact same flight and waited not at all patiently for a stranger to ask about my tattoo..

contrary to popular belief, it is actually pretty rare that people inquire, so.. 

I made sure to sit on left side of one of those young and handsome ones.  this at least makes my tattoo visible..  then! i started in with a little friendly conversation..  

that part comes very easy and natural to (me!)...   

then..   an internal " thank you Jesus" moment, because I could see he had a couple tattoos on those gorgeous guns of his..

I could feel the opportunity opening up write in front of me; if I only could take it..    and fake it...  but make it real.

i sped through my flight with less swirl, less smell and more swallow:

"nice ink".  I said with a smile.   and only gently touched his forearm.

he smiled back and told me he had been in the service..

I am always in the habit of thanking people in the military for their noble service.   -and so, I don't have to fake that..    

and then he seemed so nice, and down to earth, and cool to talk to, I came very close to staying genuine.   but..!.. 

I had it in my mind and heart that this might be my only perfectly set up opportunity for who knows how long..  maybe Jesus himself set it up..

he is merciful and mysterious that way..    'its okay to play Sandra.  you don't have to be serious all the time'

yes, about my 5th tasting of red wine I heard God say that..  give me a heavenly permission slip to try acting...

I was like, auditioning, for..  just (me!)..  just to see if I could do it..

and I was dying to see the look on his face..  dying to watch his expressions change..    I knew I could guide the conversation, and before you know it,

" that's a sexy little tattoo you have on your cheek..   what's it stand for?"

* Jesus * Jesus * Jesus *  please forgive me for what I'm about

"well, that's from a long time ago really.. " /I tried to appear a hint of shame and embarrassment; but just a hint.

"..served a little bit of time myself, but not in the military.. know what I mean?"

/oh please..  he was either taking this bait like a starving fish or more experienced at faking it than me..

but that's not the question I was waiting for, -really.  the real question I was waiting for...   

[dear Jesus..  if you really are at all responsible for setting this opportunity up for me then...].  -and sure a frickin' nuff,   -the clouds parted and the question came shining through..   with a  rainbow for a ribbon:

"what did you spend time for?"

[Its now or never,  NOW!  WRITE NOW! or never...]

/and so, I adopted a lower voice, softer voice, and leaned in a little nearer to him.   I can look people directly in the eyes; that part comes easy and natural to (me!)..

"...first put yourself in my broken shoes OK... ".  He nodded.   and what an attractive nod it was..  

" I had to pay rent...   I had to pay rent..   but I didn't have any money..   "

he communicated unconditional, nonjudgmental love toward me with his eyes, so I continued:

"I mean..  like, how is anyone supposed to make a couple grand in  just a couple days.. -write?"

he looked deeply interested in what I was about to reveal.  and kept seeming harder to lie to but more fun too.

"so, i started thinkin' ...  because you know how stupid people get when they're desperate..  i started thinkin'

about every. single. man. i had ever slept with..  every man i had, .. you know..  NOT -slept- with..  know what I mean.."

and he leaned closer to me so I didn't have to talk loud.  I think he wanted to protect my privacy.

"...-for free!!.. ". I said, with a disgusted audible whisper.  " free.  -free love..

and then i started to count..   to add up..   over all the years..  all the men... 

[And even Jesus.. when he saw the look on this young and handsome kids face...   Jesus himself could not resist!]

"...and then when I started to calculate:  like, let's say I charged $100 for a little of this, and $400 for a little of that..    $25 extra for here, $50 extra for there or there..   -you can see where I'm going with this, -write.

-and I'm not great with numbers...  but I am great with men, and..

not only could I pay the rent.. But I should be frickin' retired by now, sailing on a yacht in the Atlantic!"

/and if I never. -never- tell another lie for the rest of my life..  It would be because the expression on his face was so rewarding

-So gratifying to very marrow of the marrow in my bones..

I don't actually need to have the experience again.  It was that fulfilling.    A once is enough, who could ask for anything more moment in my life..

To experience being able to pull off such a story! And have him look as if he believed!   and look both so completely taken.. toward and away from me at the same time.    Like he didn't know if he should be checking his wallet or what..

"...and i was able to pay my rent..   ..   but I got caught doing it..

-making ends meet.".   /oh!  there really is a God.. and he loves (me!)

***

"so..    but I let Jesus get a hold of me..  my Lord and my savior...  -I've been forgiven..    

-and then he lifted his short sleeve way up high so I could see the gorgeous! tattoo of a cross he had on his very strong of a shoulder.

-and i kissed it.

and I said with a smile, I said,   -I whispered, " the kisses are free..

***

In Jesus untangled  name!  Amen!

posted by SHE @ 9:30 AM