Sunday, January 03, 2016


orig post: 5/25/09

thanks be to God for an awesome, wonderful weekend!

big thank you to JUDY WHEELER for hosting my book release party at towne center books saturday morning. - and to my dad, his wife, chris, my mom, my sister, niece, nephew, son, daughter... it started out sad for me actually

based on passerby conversations, emails, phone calls i expected to see lots of my neighbors/friends, but at 11am, start time.. it was my family only

and that's not sad.. that makes me feel damn lucky! and i just smile here, because over the years, no matter what their children are up to, -my poetry readings, or larry's rock n' roll band performing, or keeshie's sign language performance.. any reason, any time, any child, any performance

mom, dad, often their spouses, brother, sister: ALWAYS THERE.

and for a bit of time.. 2-5 minutes which felt like an hour, it looked like i'd be reading to my family and my family alone, which i would have went write ahead and done -and they would have been loving/supportive/comforting listeners

but then.. oh! thank you! thank you! here comes CARLA! and she brought a friend! and FRANK! -what a treat! a great surprise! and the ENTIRE COLEMAN FAMILY! (save my 1st tiger, michael, excused/forgiven for nobel work ethic), and CHRISTINE! and LISA SANCHES! and KATIE & VIRGINIA LAI! thank you! and PIA MURPHY! and then.. how wonderful.. ANNE MARIE GALLAGHER! so supportive! and DEBORAH GROSSMAN! (happy birthday!), KATHY MIMA! -great to see you

and then a couple people that would stay/listen, and that i would meet for
the first time

and then, an earth angel lady sitting in the chair to my left.. with a hat, scarf.. who paid me such a kind compliment, by asking me to read more -THANK YOU!-

my confession is this.. STILL.. to this day.. with something as innocent, low-key, hometown, family/friends comfortable as a reading at towne center books -i spent my morning sick. couldn't eat. couldn't drink. anxious stomach. -kills me that this continues as a battle in my life. silly. stupid. frustrating. but even though i know that's true, the physical experience remains.. coexist. coexist. coexist with your nerves

and it could have been a book release party where i didn't do a formal read, and people just dropped in for a visit open house style; judy even offered

but i wanted to read out loud. i wanted to share at least one story i'd written.. wanted to share at least a little something about the nature of this self-published book

and here is another idiosyncratic confession.. when i read at home.. practice at home.. it is not out loud. i read silently. in my mind only. -sometimes with a barely audible whisper.

so i really don't hear my own voice until i'm reading in front of people.

and get choked up here.. because immediatlely i hear tori amos singing,

" i hear my voice. i hear my voice. and it's been silent all these years. silent

all these years"


once i get started, i enjoy it. and i prefer sitting to standing. do better sitting. and personally, i think it's funny -i can find humor in the fact that my nerves are always re-directing themselves somewhere

on this occasion, my knees and voice were under control, but my hands were very shakey. for as long as i didn't need to turn the page, i was in good shape, but lifting my hands to turn the page was a struggle. coexist. coexist.

- and this reminding me of my experience at the bankhead.. greatest variety of nerve redirection i've ever experienced. if voice/knees/hands were under control, then i had a preoccupying cough.. if not a cough, a severly dry mouth, if not a cough/dry mouth, then an upset stomach

much like a long lost love; the feelings never entirely go away, they just shift around and change intensity

but i did it. i read out loud, i enjoyed myself tremendously, i'm so grateful for the presence of every family member, friend, kind listener. and i'll be looking for opportunities to read more


and more thanks to GITA and everyone at AMELIA'S.. for the great lunch (and breakfast!) food and service saturday afternoon for the post party celebration

and even more thanks to SUE~SUE, CHRISTINE, ZACH

for driving! for our mini-roadtrip to berkeley saturday evening to see KEN FARKASH, his faithful, sweet dog, JACQUES, and -the dinosaur we know, love and miss having here in pleasanton: RUNNA JUMPA SAURUS REX

such a great gallery show at the beautiful/artsy, two mile winery. -wonderful, original sculptures/paintings, great people, fantastic environment/experience, delicious wines

and really..

all this in one otherwise ordinary saturday in may 2009.


woke up to enjoy an usually wonderful sunday too. back to back good times:

church, which i've come to not only appreciate, but need -then lunch with my sister, niece and nephew

then a happy birthday lunch with and for debra knox at a wonderful greek restaurant in livermore, demitris traverna -and great pleasure meeting her talented son, john, the love of her life, mike.. a group of long time, fun, creative friends: writers, film makers, graphic designers, hobby-cartoonist, musicians, moms/dads -cool, real, people

and loved how debra went around the table and celebrated each friendship, with kind words for each person

and i tuck in another personal thank you to God.. for such a great weekend. for how lucky/blessed i am to count among my friends/family so many rare, wonderful, kind, talented, generous, creative, supportive people

to count among my life experiences this beautiful event-filled memorial day weekend.

almost forgot..

owe myself a sexy devil chocolatini from pastas today for not chickening out.

"cheers all around!" and "thank you!" love, ~s.
HEY WAIT! -weekend's not over yet..
we still have MONDAY!
and how extra special to visit with my mom,
and her brother, my uncle dave! -and toast
with family, "to family!"
~ chocolatinis all around ~
THANKS MOM! -great seeing you uncle dave! i love you! look forward to receiving your poetry and stories! give all the family hugs/kisses from me ~s.


At 8:37 AM, Blogger Dogmom said...

so very proud of you!!! and, couldn't be happier for you!!! what a most wonderful day it was! all the way around. looking forward to your next book release party...that's right...i've read your book, and my friend...i'm expecting big things from you!!!
thank you so much for introducing christine, zach and i to your friend ken. what a superb artist, and warm person. and, jacques...well, you know he melted my heart.
love you ,

At 8:16 AM, Blogger SHE said...

sue~sue: -you made every moment more meaningful

and, hanging out w/you, christine, zach, made everything more fun

i'll pass on your compliments/praises to ken

he is wonderful isn't he. -sure we'll be seeing him again

such a great weekend

thank you! love you! ~s.


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