Friday, January 01, 2016

My heart was write again... for (me!) sandra, tvgp

if not for work today.. I would write the whole day through:

I have been in and out of love multiple times.  I never once pretended to be in love; I was always really, truly in love

until I was not.

I have learned to recognize the symptoms for what they are; symptoms.

what k.t. tunstall sings is true for (me!):   "my heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talking

-woo hoo."

when I spiritually married vs. legally; it is because my heart knew..
-although every symptom was alive and present..

my heart knew.  and by that time I had learned to yield to and honor this deeper wisdom and truth.   -we are flesh AND spirit... 

flesh is loud and over confident.  spirit is quiet and true.

you have to turn down flesh like radio volume and listen.

-time would reveal my heart was write; again.


but your heart will never boast, never say I told you so..  


IN An all together different interpretation of my eternal candle/flame dream.  -I revisited my romances, one night stands, marriages that ended in divorce.  -and temporary close encounters of different kinds:

I do not believe there are any which can be rekindled..  the flame is out in very official ways.  Even if you played the write music, set the moods, created the external environments and practices..

the wick..  will not re-light. period.   -the heart dictates this; not (me!).   -there is a real and imaginary test that can be employed:

to see actually, or in your imagination, your ex-lover in the kiss and embrace of another.

if you feel nothing..   and,  -I feel nothing.

how this all works from a neuroscience or biological point of view.. I can't pretend to know..

I only know, ...   keith is the exception. -rekindled.

that alone is worth noting.   but it is also just a symptom.  And so,

I'm trying very hard to quiet my flesh...   quiet my flesh...

"FLESH".  " FLESH!  FLESH! FLESH!  FffFFfflllLLeeeee


/as you can see, i have my romantic work cut out for me...


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