84 Charing Cross Road!! -havent revisisted that CH in a long while.. -sandra mickanen sharing
watching oprah's podcast,
listening to interview with author of the correspondent, which i've yet to, but will definitely be reading. i think i may have gifted it, without reading it myself first, -based on raving reviews from so many different people
the purpose of my post however, is just to consciously choose to re-visit the cerebral hyperlink that results from seeing the book 84 charing cross road.
remember i already told you; time is the master editor; i can bullet point as a result.
love the book, 84 charing cross road; gifted to me by my artist friend, nancy eddinger
****
from 2005 to 2014 FOR NINE YEARS
i read and responded to leonard stegmann's blog. i loved reading his humorous blog, and i loved getting to respond. i can't begin to tell you how much this enriched my life.
at some point, -divorcing, struggling financially, still paying chapter 13 bankruptcy payments..
at some point, i really tried reaching out to literary agents; publishers..
NINE YEARS WORTH OF correspondence -his blog posts, my comments..
fun! entertaining! enlightening! -writers having fun writing, back n forth..
and i would describe us, as " 21st century, online, digital version of 84 charing cross road..
-many queries went ignored; most rejected..
i kept on..
at one point.. to my great surprise! a bite...
but when i went to leonard's blog and looked..
NINE YEARS WORTH OF MY COMMENTS WERE GONE; NINE YEARS WORTH OF FIVE DAYS A WEEK COMMENTS, -written with humor, honesty, craft, joy
of course, i thought it was a virus.
i contacted leonard with the bad news..
and he explained, that because he was publishing his blog posts, in book form, via amazon books, i think it was,
he could not have his blogs published; or my comments, because there was some rule about only being able to publish the book -couldn't also be published anywhere else.
****
this was devastating news to me personally. and he would not re-publish or send me my comments, or he did offer to send me my nine years worth of 5 days a week comments but without his blog posts that i was responding to.
****
we kept in touch for several years after.. he would send me pictures to add to my 'the heart seen' collection.. brief email exchanges. every once in a great while, i would ask again..
he was forced to refuse being able to republish the blogs/comments due to publishing rules; and he went on to publish.. 5 books? not sure; don't remember.
****
all communication stopped many years ago. i let it all go.
but, that nine years.. 5 days a week,
the way i looked forward to reading, to laughing, to crafting a humorous response..
that daily dose of joy
a huge contributing factor in my healing process. so, "Thank You!"
hallelujah & amen.
and when i saw this! on (steven pressfield!)'s website... (me!) sandra, tvgp
straight to comments with this:
“84, Charing Cross Road!!” -this is a direct cerebral hyperlink for me to a true story I must share -write now!-
LOVE the book! and the movie too!
For years I referred to Leonard Stegmann and myself as “The 21st Century 84 Charing Cross Road”
because my introduction to blogs came via Leonard Stegmann, who, beginning in 2005, wrote an entertaining blogumn, like 5 days a week for years!
REVOLUTIONARY to me, was that as a READER I could RESPOND to what i had just read
/kinda like i’m doing write now.. only this is when it was brand new
SO! Five days a week, for NINE YEARS, I read and responded in comments to Leonard’s blogs. As he has a sense of humor much like my father and brother, I felt like I could be as playful, lighthearted, and facetious or funny as I would be with family.
Of course I did wonder, what Helene and Franks relationship would have been like if they had access to blogs..
Anyway, -It was my great joy to read and respond.. read and respond.. to Leonard’s blogs for years.
And he did/does credit me for helping him keep going, as a writer.
Now, -I tried forever! to pitch this to agents/publishers; because I knew other people would find it entertaining, but -big fat nothing, until one day
a bite! -some interest! at last!
and so I went back to share the good news with Leonard, and..
NINE YEARS OF BLOG ARCHIVES 2005-2014 -GONE!
I went into a bit of a panic.. contacted him immediately.. “Leonard.. there must be some kind of virus! where are the archives?!?”
and that’s when he explained to me, there was no virus.
they were -UNpublished.
apparently, when he turned his blog posts into books with Amazon as Publisher, the rules/regulations say that the stories cannot be published anywhere else online. so he unpublished everything; which vanished my 5 days a week/9 years worth of comments
-they were very entertaining.. a lot of thought/craft went into how I would respond -it nearly killed me.
but, they sit in his blogspot domain UNpublished. -when I asked to have copies of his archives for just my own memory archive
he said he would republish for a short time, and I could copy/paste only my comments; not his posts.
so, if you could imagine 84 charing cross road, with only Helene’s letters, and not Franks..
my comments were in RESPONSE.. so, what good/use?
I just let it go.
And have continued to do an enormous amount of creative non-fiction writing on my own blog.
Have let go of the 21st Century Charing Cross Road pitch & dream,
and currently believe my memoir could sit on the same shelves with Jeanette Wall’s Glass Castle, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love, Cheryl Strayed’s Wild, and Anne Lamotts work..
so that is the goal I’m working toward now
Thank You for letting me share,
Sandra Harrison Kay, literary & mixed media artist
WriteousMom.com
SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com
Regarding Peppered Salami by (me!) ~topps
reminding
distinction between a trigger, and a cerebral hyperlink. with a trigger; the memory surfaces without a choice. -with a hyperlink, you choose whether or not to open and remember
-peppered salami is a cerebral hyperlink. i've enjoyed it how much over the past many years? lots. it is in our refrigerator write now
it always optionally links to 84 charing cross road, but i never bother to, click, if you will, -to re-open and visit..
it wasn't until i read the mention of it on threelives.com website;
i surrendered to the influence.. 84 charing cross road.. CLICK/OPEN.
*** p.s. nine years -gone (?)!
amen.
HOW!? did 84 CHARING CROSS ROAD EVER GET PUBLISHED!? (me!) wonders..sandra, tvgp
But it did. And if 84 CHARING CROSS ROAD was published.. /not to mention wildly successful. -then why not SQUIDMANN & SHE. -write.
HOW I MET LEONARD STEGMANN by (me!) sandra, ttgp
ORIGINAL POST 06/03/2008:
always a reward for cleaning against my will: /look what i found
http://www.magtimeframes.com/video/ad_magtimeframes.wmvthis is how i met leonard stegmann. i'd come up with such a trend-setting, novel, utterly fantastic idea: mag time frames! the world's first handmade magnetic home decor frames! and then my brother, he planted the idea in me for a "create-your-own" kit..
i worked long and hard on that one.. experimenting for incalcuable hours with every possible foundation, metal weight, magnet strength/flexibility, every opportunity for instant display until i landed the perfect combination of raw materials, tested, tested, tested, wrote up simplified instructions, revised, revised, revised and then set to work on the packaging
and if you think coming up with a novel, fantastic idea/product and new trend is exciting, fun or rewarding, i assure you it is not. introducing a new concept and product to the consumer marketplace, no matter how wonderful and full of potential it is, is.. is..
well it's hell actually. terribly expensive. a great big pain in the ass really. -there is a much longer story to be told here.. about patents, attorneys, gargantuan trade shows where you pay big bucks for the priviledge of being ignored by buyers but seduced by thieves and liars
but i'm saving that longer story for another time. one of the upshots (and in my estimation God's greater plans) was that i learned the really-super-expensive-chapter 13-divorce-hard-way, that i needed to demonstrate my product; it did not sell itself.
no demonstration. no sales.
quick personal demonstration. good sales.
but with small children, a less than enthusiastic husband, growing debt, very limited time.. it was becoming harder and harder to get out there and demonstrate. the trade show.. where all the buyers come to you -yeah, write.
HUGE MISTAKE.
i tried instead, as many businesses/entrepreneurs do: a commercial! -some way of communicating to a larger audience without having to physically travel place to place, small crowd to small crowd
and here i learned a 30 sec spot -no sales.
so.. no demonstration/no sales.
30 sec commercial demonstration/no sales.
personal demonstration/good sales.
and so i am very curious how my 14 minute segment on robin fahr's show conversations will fair. -certainly my passion remains, and the new ideas keep coming..
BUT -and much, much more importantly.. had i not innovated mag time frames.. had i not listened to my brother and packaged the "create~your~own" mag time frame kit.. had my product sold without demonstrations... had i not been frustrated into experimenting with a local commercial
i would have never met LEONARD STEGMANN! MY squidmann! because he showed up with another camera man to film my mag time frame commercial in my then home's living room.
and just click on my commercial. isn't it packed with hope, creative inspiration and home town charm. (and in only 30 seconds!)
so anyway.. at some point i learn leonard is a writer (like me!), and when passing his desk in the comcast building, i see he has books for sale -like, write there- and i am very supportive of fellow writers, so of course, - i bought one-
and i enjoyed it so much. appreciated his authenticity and got his humor immediately.
wrote a thank you note w/my compliments, and that was that.
leonard quit comcast. i filed a chapter 13. -we went our very separate ways. it was 2003 i believe.
skip ahead a year or two.. yes, it was two: june 2005.
and i get an email announcement with a link to leonard stegmann's blog.
i don't think at the time i even knew the word or meaning of a blog. -but i clicked, and i am very supportive of fellow writers, so of course.. i read. and once again, and write away, i appreciated his authenticity and got his humor immediately. -and-
AND! -this ability to leave a comment.. to me.. the most utterly fantastic interactive fun any writer/reader could ever, ever, ask for. read AND comment. write then. write there. read, respond. -just like that!? who do i personally thank?! for this brilliant idea!
-and as you will read here on page 276 of his newest book (3rd book): a year on planet mercury, on the acknowledgements page:
...from my first posting in june 2005 up until and including last night's article, sandy has been there to read nearly every one of the hundreds of entries, and has written comments on most of them...
it's true! -and it is true that leonard stegmann saved my life. i want the whole wide world to know it. and he doesn't believe in God, but i do, and i know God put us together for good reason.
and he saved my life by just being himself and doing what he does: write.
and that extra step: sharing.
every morning during some of the most difficult times in my adult life, when one might be tempted to take drugs, drink large quantities of alcohol AND take drugs, when one might consider going numb, slicing a wrist or jumping off a bridge..
every morning, instead of going numb or feeling..
sorry for myself. i managed to get up and out of bed because i had leonard stegmann's authenticity and humor waiting for me. and there was something so very uplifting for me -a writer too- in that ability to comment. -to respond. -on the spot.
and then.. every time i responded, leonard would ACKNOWLEDGE my response.
and there was something so uplifting, and life-saving really, about this one person.. this one person, making me smile every morning and acknowledging my existence. it was fun! fun and life affirming.
i am here to testify that fun and friendship, and some opportunity to do what you love -read and write, for example, -even if only for a few moments each day,
this is much better for transforming and transcending and fixing your life than any of the other alternatives we might impulsively reach for
by august 2005, i had created my own blog too, thanks again to leonard stegmann. i started out awkward, like most.. unsure. uneasy. but willing.. wanting. started out by just posting favorite book passages -because your blog can be anything you want it to
little taste of that freedom woke up all my dormant creativity & spark.. and now i'm near 500 posts, with each year more of my own creative writing filling the menu
i'm quite sure that practice and healthy habit of reading/responding to leonard's blog every day for three years now, plus my own reading/writing on my blog, plus the other blog friends i've added along the way.. well, i can feel that it has my writing craft in top form.
and somewhere.. can't remember when.. somewhere along the line, my neighbor nancy handed me the book 84 charing cross road. i couldn't put it down. all that wonderful correspondence between helene hanff and frank doel. twenty years worth! -and how precious it was to watch their friendship evolve through letter's only. not phone calls or personal visits
i like to think of leonard and i as the 21st century version of 84 charing cross road. and we don't have 20 years of correspondence,
but because leonard is the world's first blogumnist -writing 7, then 5 days a week with great discipline and consistency; and because i've read/responded to nearly every one
i'm sure -when it comes to quantity- we've exceeded their letter count. -and because we are in the 21st century, with the internet and blogs.. this ability to communicate so rapidly
while they communicated across continents by snail mail only..
we compare and don't compare, really. certainly the correspondence, the playfulness, the friendship..
but it makes me laugh when i take it further, because frank doel.. such a proper englishman.
leonard stegmann; -well frank loved books. antiquarian bookseller. married. london/england. -but i got the feeling he would blush if you cussed in front of him.. and would be quite shocked to see all that can be found on the internet today.
leonard stegmann; -well, -proper is not the first word that comes to mind. porn surfaces near the top though... and book store, yes, but with the word "adult" in front of it.
when i think about it, really the only two things they have in common, leonard stegmann and frank doel is this: male. married.
and actually, i don't have so much in common with helene hanff either. female. single. writers. and i do love peppered salami too! -and share some of her need for dental work
but i LOVE to think about what their relationship would be like if it took place today.
helene hanff and frank doel in the 21st century with emails and blogs vs. letters. -with the internet vs. post office.
how much flirtier and daring i imagine helene. -she had that side; left so unexploited.
and frank.. proper, proper, careful, cautious, gentlemanly, frank..
i picture leonard pulling him to the side for a few minutes.. dusting off those old books, turning a few new pages in his life; corrupting his good nature; just enough to wake him up
(which ilom did for me/thanks ilom).
anyway.. helene never met frank in person. never met his wife. by the time she left new york to visit england, frank had already passed on. -their friendship grew exclusively through written correspondence, and this is the thing that makes me think leonard and i are the 21 century version
i did meet leonard in person.. long ago, when i made that charming 30 second commercial for my mag time frames
but haven't seen him since 2003. never talk on the phone, or anything like that.
it is a friendship growing exclusively by way of written correspondence: blogs.
and it is magical. -miraculous, really. and remains, to this day, my inspiration for getting out of bed every morning, when i'm so often tempted to quit and hide.
thanks leonard squidmann! and congratulations on book #3!
-now write back to it!
love, ~s.c
"Congratulations!!" to my (squidmann!!). from (me!) ~s.c.
-also sent via email.. check 'em out: "18! books on amazon!"
***
briefly share some literary history here: Leonard introduced me to the blogosphere.. and, honey.. I just could NOT BELIEVE! how awesome it was to read.. "AND RESPOND!"... -the whole comments section thing was for me.. (me!)
the very definition of heaven on earth. add on.. how much FUN to read and respond specifically to Leonard Stegmann.. because, well, he's super funny.. and his rather... how can I say? outdated view of the female species..
Very familiar; just like my dad and brother... his humor and objectifying.. next of kin. Maybe if we did a genealogical study we'd find out we are related by more than words and attitudes..
anyway.. do you know..
I read AND responded to Leonard stegmann's blog posts
nearly everyday for NINE years! and as a writer.. if I were to graph out the internal joy experience, -really it is higher for me when I'm reading and responding than when when I'm laying the foundation..
although, certainly I enjoy laying the foundation also, as evidenced by 10 years worth here on my own blog.. write.
anyway.. what happen was.. when Leonard started officially publishing via amazon.. one of the requirements was that he could not also have those same stories already published online.
so.. no blog, -you see..
he is learning this info, at the same time I am searching/courting literary agents and publishers.. with the pitch that Leonard and I are "the 21st century 84 charing cross road!". -9 years worth of 5 day a week very entertaining exchanges!
I know sooner get a bite on the line.. I was casting out again and again and again..
that I look at Leonard's blog... and
and?!?!?!
AND?!?!
the entire 9 years worth of archives...
GONE; VANISHED; -as if it never existed..
well, I was just as certain as Jesus is the son of God, that there was a terrible virus that came and wiped all that revolutionary and entertaining article/comment off his computer..
so I contacted him very concerned..
that's when he explained he could not publish the 18 books you see in this picture unless he unpublished all the blog content.. the whole 9 years worth!
and so, at the same time I did understand..
and I do understand.
but at the same time, I understand,
it was so painful to see 9 years worth of my comments so quickly and easily removed; unpublished..
I never visited his blog again. Too hard.. too hard..
I just wished him well, and we've exchanged some emails.. And him and his wife do send me heart seen contributions which I treasure...
***
now, I am in a similar situation, and literary just discussed this with my beautiful friend Carla over our mutual February birthdays lunch celebration..
Because I am once again courting literary agents.. Here's part of my pitch
"... ~ ready now to condense, sculpt and organize my over 10 years worth of creative non fiction blog posts."
and I know in advance, agents and publishers don't want a writers writing already published somewhere else..
and they consider anything in a blog, already published.
-but it is exactly the ten years worth of blogging + my 9 years of reading and responding that has allowed me to develop, grow and improve my craft...
and! as a writer, as a human being, and an artist.. I like the raw and real..
my dream of dreams is that both are made available: a compelling and entertaining memoir, which does in fact condense, and organize in a more reader-friendly format, my disorganized slice of life stories.. and which is also a source of income..
And! My blog remains.. as a source of authentic validation.. and a means for seeing my growth as a writer and human being and Christian.
the platform.. the blogosphere.. is so revolutionary, it needs revolutionary agents and publishers also. what we have now is a new platform adhering to old rules and laws....
So,
I work with advanced knowledge that this may take a little longer than for writers without blogs..
which makes me grateful for my church TV today: Joel osteen with his, "set time" message.. about when God speeds things up... and sister Joyce Meyers, with God providing energy and patience and peace beyond human understanding.. and! One of my favorites.. Bishop T.D. Jakes with Jesus/God as the ultimate gift.. and that gift is LOVE.. which is a force nothing can stop...
I know its all true!
In Jesus great and powerful and patient name.. hallelujah and amen! xoxo
turn this silver into GOLD. prays (me!) sandra, tvgp
God I love this selfie!
***
I said to my sexy, I said without a smile, "see this silver here -it opens about a dozen traumatic memories
but I am immune to their negative effects"
***
write about now is when my spiritual training really starts paying off; yielding great results, because when I was brushing my teeth, and in the mirror noticed..
prior to my spiritual training, I would have maybe said, "God Damn it" and been all preoccupied with worry, concern, fear... dread..
but that thought; none of those thoughts, even entered my mind
write away,
and especially after so recently watching Joyce Meyer, and revisiting her lessons on
finding the treasures in your trials
write away, I looked at it and said, "
GOD BLESS IT" /but with the same tone people say God Damn it.
anyway,
I had all my silver covered in white, via some cosmetic dentistry many years ago..
and apparently -well, some white has gone missing. I did not feel it when it happened, I just noticed when I brushed my teeth
and I have not even been to a dentist since... 2005? when you are living under the poverty line, job here, job there, -no medical/dental benefits of any kind for a decade +
being able to see a dentist for 6 months check-ups isn't something you budget for; at least I sure didn't. brush, occasionally floss, rinse with 6 benefits in 1 listerine; keep prayin'
see a dentist only in the case of an emergency; only if you absolutely have to
and "Thank You! Jesus" -I haven't
had to
***
but, -if you read me; if you've read me for any length
you understand about cerebral hyperlinks -and so here are just a few, of who knows how many, which opened when I noticed the white, which was cosmetically covering my silver - was gone:
Mouth Full of Silver
https://shesayswithasmile.blogspot.com/search?q=20+cavities
Bruce
Allen
https://shesayswithasmile.blogspot.com/search?q=bruce+allen
Silver Bullets
https://shesayswithasmile.blogspot.com/search?q=silver+bullets
Mom~
mosa
https://shesayswithasmile.blogspot.com/search?q=mom%7Emosa
The Book of Eli &
Hostess Cupcakes
Why I
cried all the way home
Green
mile cable man
Identify!
Identify! Identify!
He Has A
Name
LSR
and there are more, but that is sufficient.
***
also, I have a couple memories -which lean positive, -84 charing cross road, and Helene with her dental issues..
and this one: Meet
Lilly, and then Jan and Larry Brown (one of my personal favorites from when I was writing for the patch)
makes me smile. ~writers.
***
anyway, when I took the selfie which I knew would accompany this post
I cropped it and flipped it upside down
"AWESOME! THANK YOU JESUS!" -because, in thumbprint size, from a specific distance and specific angle
it looks to me, like two hands are cradling a small eyeless face, with its mouth stretched wide open, -leaning back in a dental chair, preparing for work to be done -and appears to be a person with an oversized adams apple -and something about it also reminds me of the famous, the scream, painting
anyway..
as an artist, a writer, a survivor
there is an internal thing that happens, and the feeling, if I try to describe it
if I use words, -perfect! like, I have just landed the exact write picture to capture and express and complement my post. I am very pleased. very pleased with this selfie.
***
"Dear Jesus.. Turn this silver into gold" -I love you, amen.
i L.O.V.E. writing! (me!) sandra, topps, writeousmom
it rather goes without saying, doesnt it. just having a blog for 20 years..
but i want to dedicate this post, to everyone who has a gift, a passion, a love.. a talent, an energy for;
but that gift/passion/love/talent/energy does not become your livelihood. -so recently, rob carroll, spoke on this topic at park victoria church, milpitas
-sharing how he draws, he is inspired to draw every! day! and how he thought he would become a famous artist.. or, rather, make his livelihood as an artist by now.
i could so quickly, deeply, understand and relate to the message he shared. and, will start by sharing just how blessed those people are! the ones who can earn a living doing what they love..
but this post is for the rest of us: those who have something they love to do -which is a huge gift, all by itself! but it does not evolve into, or translate into 'making a living'
i will point out first, and remind.. if you look at what it takes for a small city to function in a healthy, vibrant way.. if you itemized every job that needs to get done in order to... there is no way you can live in a healthy, thriving, -house, or city, where every person is doing something they love to do
a wonderful life involves a great deal of unfun, grunt work; period. so, the expectation that everyone should 'love' their job.. doesnt scale out
[if the only thing about your job that you love, is the paycheck.. then love your paycheck and keep doing your job. -if the only thing is the people, and not the paycheck... etc. -find something to love about what you do... that's my point].
i will also point out, how many times, over the decades, someone has had a love, a gift, a talent.. something that yielded great joy in their lives.. and then it did become a 'business', a livelihood.. and much of the joy was sucked out, for the sake of running a successful, profitable business
the number one thing i've witnessed: creating an original; great joy of process... followed by, mass production, cloning, copying, -which yields financial blessings -exclusively. but, if it is the creative process you enjoy..
i.e., i painted a pretty picture, that i turned into a greeting card. -the creating of [coming up with an idea, the actual painting, the color, the texture, the artistic, creative, stylistic decisions along the way.. using/choosing the paper, the type/color/blend of paint, the type of paintbrush.. all of it, a wonderful experience. -but, the... now let's copy, duplicate, print, package, store, distribute, sell... where you are no longer creating -just copying.. tedious & boring
anyway,
i've witnessed the two primary directions people go, who have a gift, a joy! but that gift/joy do not become their livelihood
1. they stop doing what they love, with some internal feeling of 'being a failure at..'
2. they keep doing what they love, in their leisure time..
and, i am quite convinced, by personal experience AND observation of others over several decades: to keep doing what you love in your leisure is the wiser decision -for you, for your family, your loved ones, your friends.. and to glorify God's name
-my years on the planet, living, observing, have also introduced me to people who -they literally, don't have a passion.. a thing they love to do
they'd give anything just to have something they love to do...
/personally, i believe God gifts every single person with a thing they love to do, but you are responsible to discover what it is by putting yourself out there, and experimenting..
****
i have, from the womb, i believe, loved writing! i just love it! when all i had was pen and paper; pen and paper is what i used.. -fast forward to the blogosphere..
and, here is my favorite, the most wonderful, the thing i am the most enormously grateful for, when it comes to digital writing, vs. pen and paper
-search-! feature
if all i had were my pads of paper... and i've filled in, and later burned more than i've kept: but, it would be such a daunting process to go through, page by page.. word by word... sentence by sentence.. in order to find,
i.e., i want to pull up my 3rd grade report card, write now..
if it were exclusively in a cabinet; paper files only.. that could take a chunk of time..
but "thank you so very much for my extermal memory, digital online blog storage with search feature.."
i can just type 3rd grade in the search bar, and...
awesome!
so, because i love to write.. always have, always will.. i did pursue it as a livelihood. i pursued it as my livelihood for decades! i went to college pursuing it.. i spent enormous amounts of time, developing my craft.. -perfecting it! studying successful authors.. schooling myself.. practicing/improving.. i wrote for fun, i wrote for my college newspaper and magazine; i wrote for our local newspaper.. i read, read, read.. i met countless authors i loved.. i networked.. i reached out to too many agents to ever count..
my lack of turning my love, writing, into a livelihood.. it has zero to do with lack of effort; or lack of talent/craft.
i don't remember exactly when i stopped all together, even pursuing..
-NINE YEARS of reading and responding to leonard's blog '21st century, 84 charing cross road!
got me nowhere..
my own blog.. got me nowhere..
i was all along personally, internally, CONVINCED, my autobiography, my memoir, belonged on the book store shelves write next to Dr Maya Angelou, Elizabeth Gilbert, Jeannette Walls, Anne Lamott...
/and have thoroughly read; seen speak, and have autographed/personally inscribed books by each author i just mentioned..
do you know, as i write this, december, 2024.. i cannot remember the last time i read a book; fell in love with the author; went to see them speak.. goal: picture and personally inscribed book for my collection
it was such a large part of my life for 2 or 3 decades; -today. not at all really.
what has remained: my joy! my love of writing! i've never stopped for 2 reasons
1. this blog; the blogosphere exists for me to write on/in..
2. i love it
remember what i wrote a hundred years ago; it's true:
we come to earth with instructions:
what we love to do, instructs us on what we are here to do; and
what suffering we endure; instructs us on who we are here to help.
****
if you have not yet discovered what you love to do.. it is a most worthy pursuit!
if you have discovered what you love to do.. and sometimes it is more than one thing!
-keep doing it!
JOY! is God's gift to you... you say "thank you!" by discovering.. and actually 'enjoying'
JOHN 15:11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full..
/doesn't mention anything about, profiting from/making a living at...
close with,
encouragement: keep doing what you love! -for the exclusive reason, that you've been gifted to love it! it will enrich the quality of your life! when you are happy, enriched.. this is a boost to your immune system, it gives energy.. it naturally results in a positive energy and disposition that is contagious...
in spiritual warfare.. it is the obvious answer: God wants you to experience JOY. -the enemy wants to steal your joy and have you feel like a failure..
JOHN 10:10
and, essence captured in that sweet sunday school song..
"this little light of mine.... don't let satan blow it out, no! i'm gonna let it shine!"
Glorify God's name..! hallelujah! selah! amen!
k then... SON of a C.I.A. agent... smiles/writes/edits (me!) sandra, tvgp
CH = C.I.A.
and, so, since it is one of my favorite, favorite, cerebral hyperlinks, I asked squidmann if he could
re-release his blog posts and 'the picture'
and the short version for why I posed for this picture goes like this:
I wanted to lift leonard stegmann's spirits; I wanted to make him smile
-because,
because, these two very awful facts..
well, I had been reading and responding to his blogs for YEARS! -a friendship of the online/writing/blogging kind grew over and through all that reading/responding
and so somewhere near in time, I knew.. I knew, his mom was ill; had passed /and over the years, other very dear, very close family members at different times, for different reasons..
and, then..
well, from 1978! his mom.. she had gifted leonard and his brother these 'naked Hawaiian girl calendars' /not the real title, but you have to read his post to appreciate..
anyway.. when he went to re-order the calendar his mom originally gifted him -the one he had been reordering every year for many, many.. years! like, -decades!
and they sent him a letter they were no longer in business.. no longer publishing...
I just couldn't bare it.. /k, that's funny..
I mean, - I just couldn't take it..
and, combine the death/physical absence of his mom, with the -no longer printing the naked Hawaiian girl calendar
and so,
I had my sister take this picture of me with the intention of cheering him up.
***
but, if you've read me long enough
and know about all my cerebral hyperlinks /overwhelming...
at least this is a very, very, fun one
because,
when Robert.. my sexy.. love of my life
when he shared with (me!) that his father, now deceased, had a career with the C.I.A.
I just smiled so big.. / -
have I got a secret code for you
I mean, -I need to make a few very minor edits, of course..
-son- of a c.i.a. agent..
and he's not blind.. /but I do like the room pretty dark, and sometimes he closes his eyes when we're kissin'
...he is highly trained..
and ambidextrous, might be a bit of a... reach, but
he is quite capable of using both hands
and so,
can you imagine my
I mean, his
surprise!
and of course, this is all still -tops- secret
but, I mean
well, i'll have to research to be sure, but
I believe he has something like
25 years from the date of my comments above
before the classified information in my nipples is automatically declassified anyway
but meanwhile,
the security of our entire nation might be at stake -write.
and so,
"keep reading.. sexy.. trace my nipples with your fingers..
and since this is flesh braille, if it becomes hard to decipher
you just kiss..
lick..
and then softly blow..
the secret clues will be even easier to read."
***
and just for fun, of course..
I told squidmann, via email, upon seeing this picture again, several years later
I said, it speaks to the level of our friendship.. /or to me being slightly tilted.. but let's go with the altruistic version
and in the squidmann fashion I've come to know and appreciate, he responded by saying
a real friend would have dropped her arms.
/see, why I enjoyed reading/responding for all those years; fun!
***
and in case you are just droppin' in
I read and responded via comments to leonardstegmann.blogspot.com every day -ish for NINE YEARS. when he published/converted into books, his work/posts/writings via amazon, one of the STUPID rules is that you cannot have your writings also posted online -so, nine years of archives; unpublished. -just like that.. and, all happened when I was just on the brink of successfully promoting us, 'squidmann & she' as the 21st century 84 charing cross road..
***
anyway,
he has very graciously and very temporarily reposted the calendar/nipples/c.i.a. related blogs, and green-lit my temporarily re-posting them here -see, That Damn Naked Hawaiian Girl Calendar
***
and, now.. Robert, my sexy..
he is busy with Tops ~Secret Information.
***
In Jesus, is the King of Spiritual Intelligence Agents.. name. -amen.
