the sweetest comeback in the history of ever! for (me!) ~topps, writeousmom.com
there is a little convenience store inside the embassy suites in dorado, puerto rico. we did some snack shopping for our honeymoon suite, and it included the purchase of some hostess twinkies
-this inevitably brings up my every hostess related memory; and my hideous eating disorder in the aftermath of multiple traumas
that then connects to when hostess went out of business...
which then connects to when hostess returned
which then connects to my favorite slogan ever that accompanied the hostess return
'the sweetest comeback in the history of ever!'
i knew since that time, that my destiny is tied to hostess' destiny; it became a personal, spiritual goal of sorts
for (me!); having experienced so much back-to-back trauma; for (me!) having had the severest forms of PTSD..
for (me!) to have that same thing: and i posted a picture in my scrapbook, in my mind, in my heart.. and currently on my studio 213 door, of that slogan on hostess packaging
and it was while my sexy and i were in puerto rico,
having such a remarkable time, in such a gorgeous environment..
being in love, and loving each day, each cup of coffee, loving the view, loving the meals, loving the service, loving floating, loving creating indigenous word art on the beach, loving our family, loving our newest grandson -loving how i felt inside and outside; so happy & carefree..
loving the pool, loving the ocean, loving God and how he rescued, redeemed and restored me..
-factoring in our recent family visits, loving knowing/seeing our grown children thriving and making their way in the world; our siblings, nieces/nephews; our parents; our neighbor~friends
i said to my sexy, i said with a smile.. "i'm not waiting to one day have the sweetest comeback; i'm in it! -this IS it! -being here with you, retired, a tropical vacation of the best kind.."
so i marked the occasion; the realization; the epiphany, by writing in the sand on the shore, and having my picture taken holding twinkies..
before i unwrapped and ate the whole thing.
and then, just now, -because the number and type of traumas i have experienced and transcended are already very well, and perhaps, overly documented,
i just took 3 pieces of paper and layered them to further acknowledge with gratitude how far God has brought me
on the bottom layer: bullet points of major traumas
middle layer: items hanging on the front door of my studio 213
top layer: my not waiting for, but in it, 'experiencing it write now!' picture from the shore
so i know it can be done
but it has taken A LOT of collaborative work between Jesus and i...
and i have adopted spiritual practices which i am confident will aid me in maintaining the progress i've made so far; and maybe even exceed where i'm at..
God only knows. -write.
Hallelujah! Selah! Amen! Glory be to God!
MOUTH FULL OF SILVER by (me!) sandra, tvgp
the thing that stands out, is dr. allen's face. the way he looked at me, and i could cry just thinking about it
he'd been my dentist for many years, and i'm not sure on this, but i believe i went from infancy to age 18 with a total of 3 or 4 cavities; maybe less
and i knew in advance it wasn't going to be good, i knew it wasn't going to be good, because my mouth felt so awful. my teeth ached everyday and when i jogged or ran short distances, it felt like they might all fall out; not normal for 19 years of age
dr. allen was -who knows- in his 40's at the time. everyone's favorite dentist.. gregarious, funny, full of personality. up until this day he had always joked and innocently flirted with me
and on this day, BEFORE he xrayed my mouth, he said something like, "when i saw your name in the appointment book.. made it a good day to come to work. see how i dressed up for you"
and then he'd laugh because he was wearing the same white coat he always wore. "you're my favorite patient, sandy"
and i thought maybe i really was, if for no other reason than i laughed so easily and readily at his every joke. -and don't you know how awful it is
how awful it is to let down the people you've come to love. i could hear him from the other room,
"my God!, what happen?!? -what happen?!?" -and then he reentered the room where i sat, reclined in terror
"what happen sandy? ... you have 20 cavities! 20!!"
and the only excuse i could improv at the time was, "i quit smoking.. switched to lifesavers and gum. i've been chewing gum non-stop"
i did know he might be checking me for signs of anorexia/bulimia.. but i also knew i showed absolutely no signs.. no signs of making myself vomit, no signs of dramatic weight loss or gain. no scratches inside my mouth on my gums, no bulging, strained eyes
"sandy," he told me, with such a look of disappointment, bewilderment, shock, confusion, "even if you chewed 12 packs of sugar gum a day it would not result in 20 cavities, this doesn't make sense"
but i stuck to my story and made several appointments; having 2 or 3 cavities filled at a time, until all 20 teeth were embarrassed with silver.
and he was not out to humiliate me, so each time i returned we skipped any conversation about how this happened and stuck with light-hearted jokes.
"you might want to start smoking again," he said once, -and i think that helped me to laugh again.
how i ended up with 20 cavities in one year, is a difficult story to share. they are memories i'm very careful about visiting, and what has triggered this out of me at 2:43 a.m. post historical inauguration day is anybody's guess
but i honor these things as they come
told out of the greater context of my life, this will sound crazy/sad/gross, but, put into context, as is true with almost every human life; it all makes sense.
how i ended up with 20 cavities in one year involves spending hundreds of dollars at the local hostess discount bakery
everyday, $3 to $5 dollars on cupcakes, donuts, candybars. at the regular grocery store $3-$5 might not yield much, but at the local hostess discount bakery, and especially if you hit the "day old" discount bin
i could walk out with a brown bag overflowing with junk. -hours worth of junk food.
i went several times a week to the local hostess discount bakery store. -i made up stories in my mind, of how the gray haired ladies at the register explained my ongoing purchases amongst themselves
they never asked me. but in case they ever did, i had it all planned out that i would say i bought and resold the junk food to the high school kids for extra income.
and even though they never asked, and even though i had a good story up my sleeves, still i became quite self-conscious about making so many trips, so many purchases at this local hostess discount bakery store
so i started to wear disguises. husband's shirt, hat, sunglasses one day; school girl dress and sunglasses the next day; sweats, sunglasses and even a changed voice at the register the next.
but i knew they knew, and they knew they knew, but, just like with dr. allen, everyone seemed to know not to ask or talk about it.
i'd always panic on my drive home. terrified i'd get in a car accident, and have to explain the brown bags filled with junk food to the police officers and my husband
it was an exhausting effort to keep this all secret, but i did. my entire life was consumed with planning my disguises and trips to the bakery, hiding the junk food, -and then waiting, impatiently, for time alone.
always waiting for friends and family to LEAVE. for my husband to LEAVE for work. always preoccupied with finding ways and time to be alone with my big bags of junk food.
and when at last i was alone; the swishing ritual began:
the largest plastic cup in the house in my lap. the bag of junk food by my side. and one by one, cupcake by cupcake, candybar by candybar, donut by donut
i chewed but never swallowed. would take bites, and swish the food in my mouth until it liquified and then spit it out into a giant plastic cup. when the cup was full, i'd walk over to the sink, pour it down the garbage disposal, go back to my seat and start again
until every last junk food was gone. then i'd take all the garbage, and walk blocks away to place the wrappers and brown bag where no one would find it; in someone else's garbage can.
a bizarre ritual indeed. -a non-addictive addiction- because my whole life revolved around the shopping, the hiding, waiting to be alone, the swishing, the hiding and the waiting again
to be alone. do it again.
there was something so calming, numbing about this swishing ritual. a trance i entered.
my shame grew with every trip to the bakery; every swishing ceremony; every time i hid the wrappers. my shame grew so large that when i'd go to the sink to pour the liquified contents down the garbage disposal, i'd stay there a moment trying to figure out how i could go down with it
wanted to just climb in the garbage disposal, turn the switch, and disappear.
but instead i swished some more.
and i will never forget getting caught by my husband. -how he left for work.. and i got straight to swishing.. the big bag of junk food to the side of the chair, the giant plastic cup in my lap, my hands unwrapping a six pack of donuts
and in walks my husband. -pretending he forgot his keys. -or wallet. i can't remember.
but i do remember his face. the shock.
"what are you doing?!?" -and not with compassion, not with compassion
but with embarrassment, shame, humiliation, disappointment, anger, he tells me
"you have a disease!"
and he didn't want anyone to know about my disease. -and that's when i knew all the shame i felt was justified.
i was a monster. an ugly monster with a disease. an ugly monster with a disease and 20 cavities.
and i felt that way for a long, long, long, time.
it would be years before i saw this with compassionate eyes.. before i said to myself, before i realized, before i let in
that perhaps my swishing ritual was not a disease, but a symptom. -a strange symptom of post traumatic stress disorder
because when i put it in context.. when i repeat in my mind: kidnap/rape; alcoholic step father; gangs; kidnap/rape; robbery; kidnap/rape -the violence, the guns, the life or death tragedies back to back to back
and allow myself to process the multiple traumas i survived. it makes perfect sense to me, anyway,
that i might try and escape and anesthetize myself any way that worked.
and once i let that in.. once i had the ability to see my behavior with compassion and not shame, a tiny little piece of my self-esteem returned. -a pebble. -a grain of sand.
a mouth full of silver and a grain of sand.
which as it turns out, -gave me
something to work with.
OTIS SPUNKMEYER'S DC3 SKY TOURS great memories for (me! & the brazil's!)
yesterday, at
ruby hill, i had the great pleasure of serving and talking to the brazil's , husband & wife -who mentioned in conversation, they had flown on otis spunkmeyer's dc3 for joe's birthday some 15 years ago
well, of course, this ignited a wonderful exchange of mutual great memories surrounding this sky tour experience. they in fact, mentioned that during their flight, the learning channel was filming a segment for "romantic places in the bay area" -i haven't been able to find it via google search, but.. would love to see it.
they also mentioned having a rare poster, that shows the dc3, with an otis spunkmeyer hostess... of course, i can't help but wonder if it might be a picture of karin carter... wouldn't that be somethin'. they promised to bring it in for me to see next visit to ruby hill. [and you know i'll get a picture of them with the poster]
they also mentioned enjoying the champagne on the flight so much, they subsequently went to the winery in sunol (castro valley?) that created and sold it... -couldn't help but laugh... " i gargled with that
champagne!" /but i had no memory of the name or label...
and all that helps explain the following re-post from my blog archives:
***** *****
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
OTIS SPUNKMEYER DC3, come fly with (me!) sandra, tvgp
when i met sir robert wilkins at the pleasanton library during steven johnson's book reading and signing
he said about his position as a media escort, that it is "one of those obscure jobs that few people have ever heard of, but that everyone wants once they learn about it"
i want it. -which is funny, because i really don't like to drive so much, but.. for certain things, i'll do what i must. i have, after all, picked my ex-husband up from the oakland airport several times, and i'm still alive to blog about it. only, when i pick my ex-husband up (which is necessary because he is also the father of our children), he always hops in the driver seat and gets us all home safely.
so it gives me great laughs to picture myself picking up some famous author at the airport:
"hello! famous author person.. nice to meet you. i'm here to pick you up..
and i made it! isn't that great. and thank God!
and so, but, do you mind driving now? -getting us out of here. airports make me nervous.
-and then when we get back to my territory, we can switch, and you can be the passenger, okay.."
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me.. this coversation with bob (and notice here, that while driving might not be my greatest strength, i do make friends easily, because he just went from sir robert wilkins to bob write before your very eyes)
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me, this conversation with my new friend, bob
because i have had many different jobs over the years, but only one that i can think of that other people coveted.
every saturday i heard the same thing from almost every person:
"how do you land this job?" "can i take over for you?" "if you can't make it for any reason.. call me. i'm happy to step in for you" "what a lucky person you are!" "and YOU GET PAID for this?"
and i would always answer with a big smile.. "not bad for weekend work, huh"
because it really was an extra special, very rare opportunity that came my way: a chance to play flight hostess for otis spunkmeyer's dc3 sky tours over the bay area.
and now, i have to ready myself and leave for work..
but when i get back, i'll tell you all about it.
***
so where was i?
ah yes,
the way this went down, was that there were no uniforms and no real training to speak of. -you just show up dressed in whatever you see fit, welcome the guests, pour champagne and offer chocolate covered strawberries and fancy hors d'oeuvres to the passengers during the flight
and the flight! was incredible!
some hour or so up and over oakland, san francisco, berkeley, circling back to see pleasanton, livermore, san jose (?), and then back to san leandro -but- all at about (14000 feet?) so the views were spectacular from every window.
and the dc3 itself: a real vintage beauty: former wwII plane all refurbished for tourist,
but maintaining its historic look and feel.
sometimes veterans would come with their spouses and family, dressed in their old military uniforms with such nostalgia etched in their expressions and pouring from their conversations
i understood it to some degree, but in honesty, was too young at the time to fully process what this experience meant to them.
that, and i was preoccupied a bit with my own survival and concerns.
it was very important to me i was a great hostess. -i really wanted to do a stellar job. make sure everyone had a great time. -be invited to come back and hostess again.
and it all sounded so exciting. and i knew it was a special treat to land this job.
-and i was recommended by some friends, and so didn't want to let them down
and all this, -anxious energy- i suppose, combined with it being my first time on the job, and first time in a dc-3, and first time standing, walking, balancing, pouring champagne and carrying on delightful conversation at the same time i'm in flight
well, i started to feel a little nauseous.
then i started to feel a lot nauseaous.
and then i started to panic.
-because, if i were to say, throw up, on one of the passengers
i was thinkin' that might not fall kindly on the eyes and ears of the pilot, the passengers or my dear friends who suggested me for the job.
and so as pale but non-chalant as i could possibly be on this intimate (#) passenger airplane, i found my way to the restroom, locked myself inside, and as quiet as humanly possible
puked my guts out.
then i washed my face, finger-brushed my teeth, gargled champagne, touched up my lipstick, pinched my cheeks to bring back some color
and went back out with a reloaded plate of fresh chocolate covered strawberries.
if anyone heard or noticed, they never brought it to my attention. i chit-chatted with the passengers, took in the mini-stories of their lives, listened to them oooh and ahhh over the spectacular views -some of them reliving memories from their war days
refilled their champagne glasses with a smile
and before you knew it, we were real smooth landing on the runway with everyone applauding.
that's me in the picture with the very beloved captain
captain..
captain dale, i think it was. /it's been a long time.
and i might not remember his name, but i do remember he was a great pilot, and he tolerated my over-enthusiastic hostessing skills with a certain tempered wisdom.
and i remember also, his co-pilot, for a few of the flights. a GORGEOUS, SEXY, red-headed female co-pilot, and i can't recall her name either, but i do remember
spending a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be her.
anyway, i can't remember how many saturday afternoons i spent as hostess for the otis spunkmeyer dc3 sky tours
i just remember it being a great time. -and in addition to the veterans who would wear their old uniforms for the flight
i remember two other passenger stand-outs.
the first was a man who was celebrating his 40th birthday. his friends had blind-folded him earlier in the day. kept him blind-folded while sticking him in a limo without any hint as to where he was going or what he was doing
kept him blind-folded all the way to and inside the airport. kept him blind-folded even as we walked up the stairs and into the plane
"do you know where you are?" his friends asked him
"am i on a roller-coaster?" he wondered with a frightened laugh
and that's when they finally took off his blindfold, and he was so genuinely, completely, utterly surprised at what they had pulled off
the other stand outs, were couples and/or families who wanted to experience the flight, but not all together in case of a fatal accident
so half the family, or couple, would go one weekend, and the other half, the next time.
and everyone always made it back safely with exciting stories to share from their separate experiences.
and i'm often asked how i got that job; such a wonderful job
and i sure wish i could provide this post with a happy ending, but it takes a bit of a sad turn for me here
because the person who is responsible for providing me with this wonderful, rare, opportunity and these great memories
the gorgeous, kind and generous karin carter; she passed on into heaven july of 2007. -born the same year i was, 1966, but had her life cut short the same way my aunt susie did: skin cancer.
and just like my aunt susie, forced to say goodbye to a husband and two young children way too soon
but if you want to witness another way blogs have been used for the greater good of humanity, you need to see the beautiful, very loving, blog created to share, celebrate and remember karin's life: http://www.karincarter.blogspot.com/
and if you're curious how i knew karin to begin with.. it was because she was the girlfriend, (and later wife), of a college friend of mine, jeff, who worked for otis spunkmeyer
whose brother i dated -in fact, was briefly engaged to- but never married.
and we lost touch and took on separate lives as the years passed
but we have quite a history, all of us -which today i remember with tremendous sentiment, lots of love and deep gratitude
"to you karin! -thank you!-"
love, sandra
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_DC-3
http://www.otisspunkmeyer.com/
doesn't look like they do this anymore... can't find mention of it anywhere.
YES! Sky Tours out of Reid Hillview Airport in San Jose -how awesome would that be!
I am fresh off reading the exceptionally written and very interesting 'A Personal History of Reid Hillview Airport, by Jim Meide
This triggered my own memories from being a flight attendant on Otis Spunkmeyer DC-3 Sky Tours
That filled me with a dream! Sky Tours out of Reid Hillview Airport! That would be so awesome..
excerpts from my memories attached here:
***
Excerpt
from my blog post titled: I surrender
to the signs, Sunday sept 18, 2016
TOPIC: Otis Spunkmeyer DC-3 Sky Tours
By,
Sandra Harrison Kay WriteousMom.com
SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me.. this
coversation with bob (and notice here, that while driving might not be my
greatest strength, i do make friends easily, because he just went from sir
robert wilkins to bob write before your very eyes)
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me, this conversation with my new friend, bob
because i have had many different jobs over the years, but only one that i can
think of that other people coveted.
every saturday i heard the same thing from almost every person:
"how do you land this job?" "can i take over for you?"
"if you can't make it for any reason.. call me. i'm happy to step in for
you" "what a lucky person you are!" "and YOU GET PAID for
this?"
and i would always answer with a big smile.. "not bad for weekend work,
huh"
because it really was an extra special, very rare opportunity that came my way:
a chance to play flight hostess for otis spunkmeyer's dc3 sky tours over the
bay area.
and now, i have to ready myself and leave for work..
but when i get back, i'll tell you all about it.
***
so where was i?
ah yes,
the way this went down, was that there were no uniforms and no real training to
speak of. -you just show up dressed in whatever you see fit, welcome the
guests, pour champagne and offer chocolate covered strawberries and fancy hors
d'oeuvres to the passengers during the flight
and the flight! was incredible!
some hour or so up and over oakland, san francisco, berkeley, circling back to
see pleasanton, livermore, san jose (?), and then back to san leandro -but- all
at about (14000 feet?) so the views were spectacular from every window.
and the dc3 itself: a real vintage beauty: former wwII plane all refurbished
for tourist,
but maintaining its historic look and feel.
sometimes veterans would come with their spouses and family, dressed in their
old military uniforms with such nostalgia etched in their expressions and
pouring from their conversations
i understood it to some degree, but in honesty, was too young at the time to
fully process what this experience meant to them.
that, and i was preoccupied a bit with my own survival and concerns.
it was very important to me i was a great hostess. -i really wanted to do a
stellar job. make sure everyone had a great time. -be invited to come back and
hostess again.
and it all sounded so exciting. and i knew it was a special treat to land this
job.
-and i was recommended by some friends, and so didn't want to let them down
and all this, -anxious energy- i suppose, combined with it being my first time
on the job, and first time in a dc-3, and first time standing, walking,
balancing, pouring champagne and carrying on delightful conversation at the
same time i'm in flight
well, i started to feel a little nauseous.
then i started to feel a lot nauseaous.
and then i started to panic.
-because, if i were to say, throw up, on one of the passengers
i was thinkin' that might not fall kindly on the eyes and ears of the pilot,
the passengers or my dear friends who suggested me for the job.
and so as pale but non-chalant as i could possibly be on this intimate (#)
passenger airplane, i found my way to the restroom, locked myself inside, and
as quiet as humanly possible
puked my guts out.
then i washed my face, finger-brushed my teeth, gargled champagne, touched up
my lipstick, pinched my cheeks to bring back some color
and went back out with a reloaded plate of fresh chocolate covered
strawberries.
if anyone heard or noticed, they never brought it to my attention. i
chit-chatted with the passengers, took in the mini-stories of their lives,
listened to them oooh and ahhh over the spectacular views -some of them
reliving memories from their war days
refilled their champagne glasses with a smile
and before you knew it, we were real smooth landing on the runway with everyone
applauding.
that's me in the picture with the very beloved captain
captain..
captain dale, i think it was. /it's been a long time.
and i might not remember his name, but i do remember he was a great pilot, and
he tolerated my over-enthusiastic hostessing skills with a certain tempered
wisdom.
and i remember also, his co-pilot, for a few of the flights. a GORGEOUS, SEXY,
red-headed female co-pilot, and i can't recall her name either, but i do
remember
spending a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be her.
anyway, i can't remember how many saturday afternoons i spent as hostess for
the otis spunkmeyer dc3 sky tours
i just remember it being a great time. -and in addition to the veterans who
would wear their old uniforms for the flight
i remember two other passenger stand-outs.
the first was a man who was celebrating his 40th birthday. his friends had
blind-folded him earlier in the day. kept him blind-folded while sticking him
in a limo without any hint as to where he was going or what he was doing
kept him blind-folded all the way to and inside the airport. kept him
blind-folded even as we walked up the stairs and into the plane
"do you know where you are?" his friends asked him
"am i on a roller-coaster?" he wondered with a frightened laugh
and that's when they finally took off his blindfold, and he was so genuinely,
completely, utterly surprised at what they had pulled off
the other stand outs, were couples and/or families who wanted to experience the
flight, but not all together in case of a fatal accident
so half the family, or couple, would go one weekend, and the other half, the
next time.
and everyone always made it back safely with exciting stories to share from
their separate experiences.
and i'm often asked how i got that job; such a wonderful job
and i sure wish i could provide this post with a happy ending, but it takes a
bit of a sad turn for me here
because the person who is responsible for providing me with this wonderful,
rare, opportunity and these great memories
the gorgeous, kind and generous karin carter; she passed on into heaven july of
2007. -born the same year i was, 1966, but had her life cut short the same way
my aunt susie did: skin cancer.
and just like my aunt susie, forced to say goodbye to a husband and two young
children way too soon
but if you want to witness another way blogs have been used for the greater
good of humanity, you need to see the beautiful, very loving, blog created to
share, celebrate and remember karin's life:
http://www.karincarter.blogspot.com/
and if you're curious how i knew karin to begin with.. it was because she was
the girlfriend, (and later wife), of a college friend of mine, jeff, who worked
for otis spunkmeyer
whose brother i dated -in fact, was briefly engaged to- but never married.
and we lost touch and took on separate lives as the years passed
but we have quite a history, all of us -which today i remember with tremendous
sentiment, lots of love and deep gratitude
"to you karin! -thank you!-"
I SURRENDER TO THE SIGNS (me!) sandra, tvgp
now,
let me explain about
very briefly, about signs and cerebral hyperlinks. and about writing.. and about trying to not write; or to override cerebral hyperlinks or ignore signs
-there are Otis spunkmeyer ovens inside one of the kiosks at Alden Lane. of course, this triggers;
cerebral hyperlinks to...
and I was like, I've already written about that.. I'm going to ignore this link
and each time I saw it, I ignored.. ignore; ignore; ignore..
k.
but then, recently Alden Lane received a shipment of jelly belly candies to price and get ready for the gift store, and after they were priced, but before they are put on the shelves in the gift store
they are being stored in the same kiosk as the ovens..
now,
how many varieties -different varieties of jelly bellies were received
i'll tell you. LOTS!
but look, please at which one sits exactly below the ovens
"The Champagne!"
and so, I was like.. "FINE THEN! I SURRENDER!" but I'm not writing anything new
I will just repost the cerebral hyperlink here:
***
OTIS SPUNKMEYER'S DC3 SKY TOURS great memories for (me! & the brazil's!)
yesterday, at
ruby hill, i had the great pleasure of serving and talking to the brazil's , husband & wife -who mentioned in conversation, they had flown on otis spunkmeyer's dc3 for joe's birthday some 15 years ago
well, of course, this ignited a wonderful exchange of mutual great memories surrounding this sky tour experience. they in fact, mentioned that during their flight, the learning channel was filming a segment for "romantic places in the bay area" -i haven't been able to find it via google search, but.. would love to see it.
they also mentioned having a rare poster, that shows the dc3, with an otis spunkmeyer hostess... of course, i can't help but wonder if it might be a picture of karin carter... wouldn't that be somethin'. they promised to bring it in for me to see next visit to ruby hill. [and you know i'll get a picture of them with the poster]
they also mentioned enjoying the champagne on the flight so much, they subsequently went to the winery in sunol (castro valley?) that created and sold it... -couldn't help but laugh... " i gargled with that
champagne!" /but i had no memory of the name or label...
and all that helps explain the following re-post from my blog archives:
***** *****
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
OTIS SPUNKMEYER DC3, come fly with (me!) sandra, tvgp
when i met sir robert wilkins at the pleasanton library during steven johnson's book reading and signing
he said about his position as a media escort, that it is "one of those obscure jobs that few people have ever heard of, but that everyone wants once they learn about it"
i want it. -which is funny, because i really don't like to drive so much, but.. for certain things, i'll do what i must. i have, after all, picked my ex-husband up from the oakland airport several times, and i'm still alive to blog about it. only, when i pick my ex-husband up (which is necessary because he is also the father of our children), he always hops in the driver seat and gets us all home safely.
so it gives me great laughs to picture myself picking up some famous author at the airport:
"hello! famous author person.. nice to meet you. i'm here to pick you up..
and i made it! isn't that great. and thank God!
and so, but, do you mind driving now? -getting us out of here. airports make me nervous.
-and then when we get back to my territory, we can switch, and you can be the passenger, okay.."
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me.. this coversation with bob (and notice here, that while driving might not be my greatest strength, i do make friends easily, because he just went from sir robert wilkins to bob write before your very eyes)
anyway.. it triggered a memory in me, this conversation with my new friend, bob
because i have had many different jobs over the years, but only one that i can think of that other people coveted.
every saturday i heard the same thing from almost every person:
"how do you land this job?" "can i take over for you?" "if you can't make it for any reason.. call me. i'm happy to step in for you" "what a lucky person you are!" "and YOU GET PAID for this?"
and i would always answer with a big smile.. "not bad for weekend work, huh"
because it really was an extra special, very rare opportunity that came my way: a chance to play flight hostess for otis spunkmeyer's dc3 sky tours over the bay area.
and now, i have to ready myself and leave for work..
but when i get back, i'll tell you all about it.
***
so where was i?
ah yes,
the way this went down, was that there were no uniforms and no real training to speak of. -you just show up dressed in whatever you see fit, welcome the guests, pour champagne and offer chocolate covered strawberries and fancy hors d'oeuvres to the passengers during the flight
and the flight! was incredible!
some hour or so up and over oakland, san francisco, berkeley, circling back to see pleasanton, livermore, san jose (?), and then back to san leandro -but- all at about (14000 feet?) so the views were spectacular from every window.
and the dc3 itself: a real vintage beauty: former wwII plane all refurbished for tourist,
but maintaining its historic look and feel.
sometimes veterans would come with their spouses and family, dressed in their old military uniforms with such nostalgia etched in their expressions and pouring from their conversations
i understood it to some degree, but in honesty, was too young at the time to fully process what this experience meant to them.
that, and i was preoccupied a bit with my own survival and concerns.
it was very important to me i was a great hostess. -i really wanted to do a stellar job. make sure everyone had a great time. -be invited to come back and hostess again.
and it all sounded so exciting. and i knew it was a special treat to land this job.
-and i was recommended by some friends, and so didn't want to let them down
and all this, -anxious energy- i suppose, combined with it being my first time on the job, and first time in a dc-3, and first time standing, walking, balancing, pouring champagne and carrying on delightful conversation at the same time i'm in flight
well, i started to feel a little nauseous.
then i started to feel a lot nauseaous.
and then i started to panic.
-because, if i were to say, throw up, on one of the passengers
i was thinkin' that might not fall kindly on the eyes and ears of the pilot, the passengers or my dear friends who suggested me for the job.
and so as pale but non-chalant as i could possibly be on this intimate (#) passenger airplane, i found my way to the restroom, locked myself inside, and as quiet as humanly possible
puked my guts out.
then i washed my face, finger-brushed my teeth, gargled champagne, touched up my lipstick, pinched my cheeks to bring back some color
and went back out with a reloaded plate of fresh chocolate covered strawberries.
if anyone heard or noticed, they never brought it to my attention. i chit-chatted with the passengers, took in the mini-stories of their lives, listened to them oooh and ahhh over the spectacular views -some of them reliving memories from their war days
refilled their champagne glasses with a smile
and before you knew it, we were real smooth landing on the runway with everyone applauding.
that's me in the picture with the very beloved captain
captain..
captain dale, i think it was. /it's been a long time.
and i might not remember his name, but i do remember he was a great pilot, and he tolerated my over-enthusiastic hostessing skills with a certain tempered wisdom.
and i remember also, his co-pilot, for a few of the flights. a GORGEOUS, SEXY, red-headed female co-pilot, and i can't recall her name either, but i do remember
spending a lot of time wondering what it would be like to be her.
anyway, i can't remember how many saturday afternoons i spent as hostess for the otis spunkmeyer dc3 sky tours
i just remember it being a great time. -and in addition to the veterans who would wear their old uniforms for the flight
i remember two other passenger stand-outs.
the first was a man who was celebrating his 40th birthday. his friends had blind-folded him earlier in the day. kept him blind-folded while sticking him in a limo without any hint as to where he was going or what he was doing
kept him blind-folded all the way to and inside the airport. kept him blind-folded even as we walked up the stairs and into the plane
"do you know where you are?" his friends asked him
"am i on a roller-coaster?" he wondered with a frightened laugh
and that's when they finally took off his blindfold, and he was so genuinely, completely, utterly surprised at what they had pulled off
the other stand outs, were couples and/or families who wanted to experience the flight, but not all together in case of a fatal accident
so half the family, or couple, would go one weekend, and the other half, the next time.
and everyone always made it back safely with exciting stories to share from their separate experiences.
and i'm often asked how i got that job; such a wonderful job
and i sure wish i could provide this post with a happy ending, but it takes a bit of a sad turn for me here
because the person who is responsible for providing me with this wonderful, rare, opportunity and these great memories
the gorgeous, kind and generous karin carter; she passed on into heaven july of 2007. -born the same year i was, 1966, but had her life cut short the same way my aunt susie did: skin cancer.
and just like my aunt susie, forced to say goodbye to a husband and two young children way too soon
but if you want to witness another way blogs have been used for the greater good of humanity, you need to see the beautiful, very loving, blog created to share, celebrate and remember karin's life: http://www.karincarter.blogspot.com/
and if you're curious how i knew karin to begin with.. it was because she was the girlfriend, (and later wife), of a college friend of mine, jeff, who worked for otis spunkmeyer
whose brother i dated -in fact, was briefly engaged to- but never married.
and we lost touch and took on separate lives as the years passed
but we have quite a history, all of us -which today i remember with tremendous sentiment, lots of love and deep gratitude
"to you karin! -thank you!-"
love, sandra
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_DC-3
http://www.otisspunkmeyer.com/
doesn't look like they do this anymore... can't find mention of it anywhere.
The Gorgeous, Sexy, red head i wrote about! (Candace harding!)
source: on the cover of the Independent newspaper Thurs. March 12, 2015.
excitement/memory trigger: ".. former Otis Spunkmeyer DC3 pilot.."
reaction: OMG! that's her.. The GORGEOUS, SEXY red head I wrote about...
type: Otis. - in the search bar of my blog here..
I cannot even admit the amount of time I spent wondering what it would be like to be her, -the PILOT! Vs. The hostess...
Anyway.. my awesome neighbors here (type Harley in search bar). -have a connection to the Livermore airport.. So I'm going to print out my Otis spunkmeyer memory blog post and see if john can't somehow get it to Candace... -would love to say hi...
SILVER BULLETS more memories for (me!) sandra, tvgp
i have to work at remembering the better memories. the 1st two to surface are
1) it was your apartment i was on my way to when some predator in a hooded jacket stuck a pistol to my head
2) i was living with/married to you during my very bizarre food disorder habit -and i remember you coming home and catching me
and you seemed so ashamed and disgusted by me.. the way you said, "you have a disease!"
and in fairness to everyone.. no one even knew about PTSD at that time.. but i learned a great deal about it as time went on
now i feel like an expert.
and since being in touch with sue~sue.. (thanks be to God!) i've been down memory lane, in both directions, several times now
but do you know there is a whole chunk of my memory missing. -there are so many things, if you say a certain name, or give me some type of trigger, i can recall with great detail
but the memory of sue~sue living in the same apartment complex when we were first married.
-it is totally gone.
i've tried every which way to remember that.. but it was during that time, my whole brain was consumed with -
everyone just leave -go awayclear the room. i must be alone.
so i can sit down with my bag of hostess treats.
my brain was consumed with finding the time to get to the hostess discount bakery
consumed with what disguise i should wear
what excuse i would give the ladies at the register, if they inquired about my daily bulk purchases
what excuse i would give the police, and you, if i got in a car accident on the way to or from the discount bakery -how would i explain all this junk food?
consumed with anxiety for wanting to be alone
consumed with worry someone would catch me...
but what a peace -numbing peace- i knew each time i sat and ritualistically unwrapped my hostess something.. chew, chew, chew
let it liquify -spit it in the cup.
fill up the cup.
go to the sink -dump it down the disposal.
wish i could go down the disposal with it.
go back to the chair.. unwrap, chew, spit some more.
did you know i ended up with 20 cavitites?
and for years.. many, many years
when i would accidentally catch a glimpse of my own laughter in the mirror... and i could see my whole mouth lined in silver..
well, it just triggered every ugly memory i have about my life.
-so, when the new technology.. products came out
and i learned you could get white fillings to replace your silver ones...
well, thank you to my 2nd husband and his dental insurance coverage. i had that done.
and it is hard to describe how significantly that contributed to my healing.
but i just love, love, love, not ever having to see that silver in my mouth anymore.
it made me think, on a deeper level
about how some cosmetic surgeons.. they can repair a woman's face after domestic abuse
and how.. its not as easy as 1, 2, 3
because there is a part of the woman who struggles with deservedness
and it took me a while -to justify in my own mind, whether i deserved to have my cavities replaced
this vain, cosmetic thing.
-someone else's money.
but i am so, so, glad i did it. it really worked as a way to lift my self-esteem.
but my God
when i total it up... the money, the time, the energy -everything
from the onset of this bizarre eating disorder -to the many, many dentists appointments to have the original cavities filled
to the cosmetic change.. and all those visits. -terrible waste of precious time.
***
did you know that today
here in the tri valley, for example. -if a woman has the great misfortune of being a rape victim
she can go to our local hospital, where there are nurses/doctors specifically trained to care for her.. specifically trained to provide her exam in a way that respects her traumatic state and at the same time, collects crucial information regarding her health, and evidence necessary for the police
and in addition to the trained nurses and doctors
there are volunteers from the tri valley haven -sexual assault response team volunteers-
who will come and just be by the victim for support.. just be there, holding her hand, while she endures what she must
and she'll receive a care-bag with a teddy bear, and blanket.. care items, and literature which can educate her, and her family/loved ones, about what to expect
and they are available by phone 24/7, if she has any needs at all
and they will accompany her during police interviews, court hearings.. constant loving, compassionate, support
and i don't know how many doctors implement this yet
but they do have/know about medicines which can prevent the onset of post traumatic stress disorder
-these kinds of things would have been very helpful when i was 6, 16, 17...
but today just leave me with grand appreciation they exists at all, for victims today.
a lot of people have worked (do work) hard behind the scenes to make all these services available.
and in addition to God, my family/friends..
i will use this upcoming thanksgiving to pray on my gratitude for the wonderful people who make these compassionate services possible
and thank God in advance for all the people who are currently working on reducing/stoping violence in our world.
Laughing at Monsters (me!) sandra mickanen, topps, writeousmom
i do see plenty of skits in my imagination; mini sit-coms..
and my ability to see the one i did while watching this episode of the munsters..
i can finally laugh
****
the way this episode unfolds, lily starts 'sneaking around'
-grandpa makes herman extra suspicious.. and they plan to start spying on lily.
the entire storyline is based around the fear of infidelity.. herman suspecting lily is 'cheating on him'
****
and now that's a very real concern and pain for too many people.. isn't it.
turns out in this episode lily is only sneaking off to secretly work to help with the family's finances because she was lead to believe herman was broke.. but he didn't want to admit it.
****
what got me laughing, is that.. when i remembered..
well,
when i thought about how awful that entire experience is! in real life, when you think the person you love and trust is cheating on you..
and then i flashed back to my very real life; very real 1st husband.. and the very real way i was 'sneaking around'
and how -if he was suspicious.. if he thought.. the worst! that i was hiding behind his back, and when he left for work,
i left for.... some other man's house and bed.
****
if he ever thought or suspected that, i do not know. we never talked about it.
***
but when he did pretend he forgot his keys, and walked back in our apartment unexpectedly..
and he 'caught me'
it was not with another man.
it was with a bag of hostess cupcakes.
*****
and that is very funny to me write now.... like, hilarious! funny..
****
i was always sneaking off to that hostess discount bakery store... every chance i got.
****
Jesus! Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.. that is so funny 40 years later isn't it.
**** yes, per the packaging; let's file this under snack classics. love it.
hallelujah & amen.
#hostess
Here's a TIP for ya... From (me!) Sandra, tvgp
But first! Let me wrap up from yesterday: in crude layman terms: I believe there are laws of free will, similar to how there are laws of nature; physics. Laws of free will are mandatory here on earth (hence the reference to law) but! When we die and leave this earth -all bets are off, free will laws no longer apply and a justice unaccomplishable on earth is now applied. So, over time, I have come to believe in a heaven and hell, and there existence, in my imagination, allows for an ultimate justice which cannot be accomplished on earth with it's free will laws. -yeah, that sums that up. Now! Here's a tip for ya... My tip stories, all true, won't wait for me to be at a computer where the spacing is to my taste; they want come out this morning, write now: history of my tips: the first tip I can ever remember receiving was .50 cents left on the table at burger king in San leandro, my first "real" paying job, where I was 15 and not covered by their insurance, so could not be in the kitchen (where we know I've never belonged anyway) but could only hostess. Which should bring a smile to your face.. I brought your food to your table and cleaned it up when you left.. At burger king, like it was a fine dining establishment. I just remember thinking it was so nice and quite a surprise anytime someone left a little change on the table for me.. I worked at other food places, but don't remember much about tips.. I was only a hostess or cashier, never a waitress or server.. My next memory -and we must fast forward, oh, around, 25 years, to find me working at amelias deli in downtown Pleasanton, my first "real" job, post divorce and mag time frame bankruptcy, where I was a cashier.. They had a karma jar near the register.. Occasionally people would leave their change, I have no memory of actual numbers, dollar amounts, but I do remember we divided up the cash between the kitchen staff, cashiers, and the most I ever brought home was $7 or so. cREDIT CARD tips were not divided. Credit card tips were kept by the owner, added up at the end of a given year, and then, I'm told, (having never actually been) that they used the accumulated tips to host an employee appreciation event at the end of the year. So, unless you are employed a full year.. You see/enjoy none of the credit card tips customers provided. -after amelias, there was ruby hill winery. Here.. You weren't allowed to keep ANY tips AT ALL, cash or credit card. They kept all the tips, and hosted an annual employee appreciation event.. So again, unless you are employed a full year, you won't see one penny of the tips customers think they are giving you. Now, let me tell you two important things: 1. Big tips are left by customers at ruby hill, and 2. I Could have used some... I was struggling to put gas in my tank and would hand over anywhere from $50 to $70 cash after hosting private parties, as the solo wine hostess, ...it seemed practically cruel.. But I did it. I did it despite co-workers telling me, whispering to me, that they kept theirs.. 'just keep it...we do'. -but I've always thought that is a very ugly set up they have there... How they set it up so that if you keep your tips you're stealing... Anyway.. Let's move now to what for me is the funniest tip story: courtyard Marriott, Livermore... Shuttle driver extraordinaire: let me tell you this important thing: there is absolutely NO correlation between the service you provide and the tips you receive. Period. So, I could for example, be a charming driver, carry many bags in and out, go out of my way to escort people safely on and off, etc. And recipients of that service might kick me $3 or nothing. I could do nothing extra, and I might get $15.. Or vice versa.. But it never had to do with service, it only had to do with the mindset of the person IN ADVANCE of taking the shuttle... Whether the person him or herself was generous and thoughtful or not.. And by the way.. My service remained pretty consistent, and was never reved up or down based on whether I thought I'd be tipped or not.. Now, here comes the funny part. -to me. You must remember my financial circumstances could be described as dire without exaggeration... And one day, we get some bags delivered to the hotel.. And my job was to put them on a carry cart for the guest to wheel up to his room (I did not even do the wheeling!) all I did was put the bags on a carry cart! And the guy hands me a $20.. I tell you here what I did NOT do... I did NOT turn it down.. I just said "thank YOU!". And then, guess what.. He hands me ANOTHER $20! And guess what I did NOT do again.. I certainly did not say anything like, 'oh, that wont be necessary sir..'. NO! I said "thank YOU!". And was internally excited I would be able to FILL UP my gas tank.. Not just 1/2 way... K, now.. You know where this is going... The man hands me ANOTHER! $20.. So, I am now receiving $60! for putting 3 bags on a carry cart.. Honey! You know what I said? I didn't say, NO... I said, "You are the most generous person I've ever met! Thank YOU,". K, then he tells me about how someone helped him on the phone in regard to receiving the bags and put them in the storage place and he asked me to find out who it was and give them some of the tip... "I sure will!" I promised.. K, now, true, true true... I asked every single front office staff member, every co-worker.. "was it you that helped mr. So n so with the bags in storage?". And every single person said, "wasn't me...". -and so I was like, "thank you Jesus! And mr generosity!". And I had a FULL tank of gas.. And probably took the kids out somewhere... Now, fast forward several months... I'm back at the hotel and there is a paper with like, smiles and highlights, posted to our employee cork board, with a handwritten "thank you!" from the general manager, about stellar serive provided by hotel staff.. The paper was a typewritten letter of gratitude from a guest... Who had lost his wallet, and one
of my co-workers, an engineer, who works 2 jobs, and on average, an 80 hour week, Had eg into the trash bn to help find this man's wallet, and when the very grateful man tried to tip him, my co-worker refused to accept the tip. He didn't need to be paid for just doing the write thing. Tbc.
THE BOOK OF ELI & HOSTESS CUPCAKES as seen by (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Something about this movie reminded (me!) About my blog post of some time ago: how much more popular and valuable the Bible would be if it would just follow today's formula for popularity and success as taught to us by the threat of HOSTESS being removed from the market.. I mean the second people thought they would be without it.. Even those who didn't purchase often in the first place.. Oh! Such a sudden demand! Such an increase in trading/owning value! People stockpiling them in their refrigerators/freezers! Selling, biding on eBay, etc. Hostess in the headlines of every major news source!
The poor Bible... Abundant and free... No immediate threat where i live that it will leave the market...
Abundant and free at my church.. I can see God has not gifted me with marketing/publicity instincts for nothin':
"One Bible left at Centerpointe church in Pleasanton!"
"Supply won't last!"
Person i would love to meet in person (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Long list actually but at the top.. Malcolm gladwell and then.. Whoever is responsible for this awesome slogan: "sweetest comeback in the history of ever!". -God I love that...
I've never accepted advertisements on my blog; never allowed it to be used that way..
Although I have promoted sometimes for free because I've had a genuine good experience with a given product or place, etc.
Interruption! Quiet please! I hear a song playing in my head..
Yes! I would like to dedicate this song to Hostess..
".. But you are the only exception..."
I would allow hostess to advertise .. And only those few that have read me thoroughly would appreciate why...
In Jesus name, -amen
"GOD IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS -TODAY!!" says (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Dear God... You saw what happened recently with hostess, write. How people practically ignored them on the grocery store shelves until it became headline news that hostess was going out of business... Then sales skyrocketed! And their market value went way up! And I know you know about the recent shooting.. And how gun and ammunition sales are skyrocketing write now! As I type this... Because people are concerned new upcoming gun laws will restrict their availability. This is the America you bless. If you can't beat 'em join 'em, write. So.. That leads quite naturally to what I hope will become headline news: "GOD IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. - TODAY!". And according to some very tried and true marketing research... This WILL result in the flock we've all been waiting for... Do I hear a hallelujah and "amen!"
Mom~mosa. (me!)~mosa. and hostess cupcakes.
honey, the sign said, $5 bottomless mimosas
I said with a smile to my mom
"you know what that pairs well with.. write..
HOSTESS CUPCAKES!"
..and I intend to eat the whole thing. /for breakfast.
***
tbc.
#vellumdays cont. return to the scene of great times! cont.. Praise God & Thank YOU!
my heart is all a-flutter anytime i have a mother/daughter day on the calendar to look forward to..
here, you can see why..
and especially enjoyed visiting barnes & noble, which -of course- CH's to: a creative non-fiction book i started when she was just 8 years old.. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE
writing wise; i captured a great more detail when time/energy allowed; when i was inspired to do so
and, most grateful now, in 2023, to have these details!
*****
simultaneously, but independently/separately -both, my best mom ever, and my best dad ever
required surgeries. both recovering; both getting stronger.. both receiving much love, support from healthcare providers, spouses, sister, family, friends.. many answered prayers along the healing path
Thank You Jesus! Amen
return to the scene of great times! koa petaluma 5 star camping experience again!
helps to have awesome friends, cutest dogs, amazing bbq, perfect climate, redwood trees..
a pool, hot tub, tv for the football games, -and new, clean, spacious bathroom/showers just across from your campsite -plus a general store... 'glamping' i believe some people call it
glamourous + camping -but we have sebastian & valerie to thank for these great memories
love you!
Q: are we italian? -nope -have we ever been to italy? -nope
can either of us speak italian? -nope
but none of that stops us from hosting an italian dinner party
and thank here our in-the-spirit friends for their fresh & delicious italian dinner contributions:
richard/fresh homemade baked bread; valerie/fresh & fabulous italian salad; elva/delious italian dessert.
all paired perfectly with roberts amazing spaghetti & meatballs, and all that paired well with the variety of italian wines & spirits everyone brought; and all that paired extremely well with awesome friends and fun conversations..
* fun to learn, with oppenheimer movie currently out, that valeries father, a scientist/author crossed paths with oppenheimer, and a friend of karl's tutored his children..
direct connections
and, write after celebrating all things italian, we celebrated all things chinese! Public "Thank You!" here to kansen & daisy chu for the invitation; to the george's for driving; to beautiful, fancy nancy for lending me a dress for the special occasion [did i write about her lending me green boots for st patricks party?!? -winner! for most spectacular wardrobe and fashions ever! (also, worth noting: former model.. deserves her own fashion magazine...) -anyway,
i am enormously grateful i got to be in the audience for this show! 3 hours of back to back mesmerizing performances. just glorious! -and didn't understand the language when a host or hostess would introduce an upcoming number, but didn't need to either... live music, dance, costumes, choreography, cinematography; all universal languages ENCORE!
and will close with a picture i took of robert and i, -just because.
i had glanced at our reflection on the sideview mirror of our truck as we returned to get in, and something about the number of, and framing of the palm trees; couldn't resist
sent it to my children.. like, doesnt it look like we are on a tropical vacation? or at venice beach..
-we are in the parking lot of kohls at the great mall in milpitas. LOVE taking pictures... that's forever, i'm pretty sure..
it's all Praise God, Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah & Amen! xoxo
Then and Nows by (me!) sandra, tvgp
then: when I was attending Cal State Hayward, breakfast might well have been, a hostess cupcake, a cigarette and a diet pepsi.
now: for breakfast I have an apple, a handful of raw mixed nuts, coffee. we watch Joyce Meyer, Bishop T.D. Jakes for breakfast also.. and
what a long time it takes to grow up.
iJnA
Terms of Entertainment as explained/ appreciated by (me!) sandra, tvgp
i must whisper it occasionally to myself
terms of entertainment in order to continue to enjoy and allow myself to become immersed in any variety of movies, books, shows
it is a play on words from a previous life experience, which im pretty certain I have written about before -pause to check
***
can't find. it is a play on 'terms of endearment' which is when the reality, and question, hit most pronounced
what is entertainment; exactly?
-because I was working at Lyon's restaurant at the time: 1983 as a hostess, and there was a movie theater nearby. as a result, people waiting for a seat could often be heard discussing the movies they were about to see, or had just seen
and one of the biggest blockbusters of the time: terms of endearment. almost all of the conversations I did not have to work at eavesdropping on, were singing the praises of this movie
but then there was this one couple; man and wife, mid 50's maybe
and, their tone.. it was their tone, I remember their tone, expression, volume
and what they said went something like this "how can anyone call that entertainment -we lost our daughter to cancer. I would never pay to watch that"
****
that woke me up.
****
and, can you imagine -one group of people at a restaurant table gabbing up a storm about how wonderful... "I would see it again..." "I have to tell so n' so to go see this!"
and the couple who lost their daughter to cancer sitting at the table write next to..
***
but it is a deeply, deeply, rooted cultural practice; so deep, you can't even imagine the absence of it
-would be the absence of entertainment itself, I suppose
one person's very real pain; another person's form of entertainment
one family never wanting to revisit a pain, ever! -another family
paying to see, in their
free time, for fun
***
after that couple woke me up, I just paid more attention to what I personally could call entertainment; and what fell in the -how can you call that entertainment?! category
trust me here.. that actress just got PAID TO PRETEND SHE WAS RAPED?!?!?
***
I could go on and on here with examples, but will cut to my most current whisper moment.
-breaking bad.
Robert and I watched every episode of every season recently -snuggling up, him post surgery/healing.. and save only a couple predictable/unoriginal threads, I found it one of the most original stories, cast of characters, arch/evolutions I've seen in a good long time
-if you've lost someone you love to meth addiction; this is not for you.
I have to block out, how infuriating it must be -this series being so wildly successful.. and knowing what I know about how devastating/destructive/hideous the real problem is in the real world
I have to block out, how individuals and families -the enormous loss, struggle, pain; the intensity of, and longevity of, their loss, struggle, pain.. which is REAL
when, the people acting and just pretending... they are going home with big fat pay checks.
getting paid big bucks to just pretend, what is so real and painful for countless others..
-you can see where I would need to whisper
terms of entertainment
something about doing that allows me to re-engage and just get lightly lost and enjoy the story for what it is
a story.
a very well written, highly engaging, original, creative, surprising...
amazingly paced...
spectacular! it was spectacular! and we loved every episode; sexy and I
****
and I think we are living in great times when it comes to entertainment; movie-making
the format I grew up with, 1 - 2 1/2 hour movies, or 1 hour, 1/2 hr tv shows; occasionally TV series..
but now,
to have that much time to develop a story, each character/their relationships to each other, each plot.. each thread..
great gift to writers -and for the audience!
to be able to watch -taped, entire series, without interruption..
binge watch; is the current colloquial
and binge watch we did..
and I would never sit in a movie theater for that length,
but snuggled up next to my sexy.. with popcorn, pj's.. in the comfort of our own bed..
hours and hours, episode after "in 18 seconds.." new episode, passed in what felt like minutes
and he was simultaneously healing the whole time..
so, "Thank You!" to everyone behind, around, near and in the scenes of breaking bad... outstanding!
***
terms of entertainment. "thank you Jesus!" amen
***
I can safely mention here, minus an identifying name -how recently I had a friend say to me
-real life, mind you,
"I have a confession.. I've been lying to you.. I've been in rehab.. addicted to meth"
***
and, I knew they wouldn't do it... the writers wouldn't do it..
but I did say to Robert.. my sexy
"the only way they could un-glorify this meth story, is if the son, walter jr. somehow became addicted..
if they showed a slow progression -and walter jr became an addict.. and they didn't rush his story along from drug to death, but really showed the pain the parents, and the family suffer..."
***
I think one of the lines in the show goes like this: "it's a poison we give to people who don't care"
and obviously, I'll have to
terms of entertainment, terms of entertainment, terms of entertainment
-because anyone who knowingly, consciously, gives or sells an addictive substance to anyone..
***
the Bible -scripture does distinguish between people who stumble..
and people who CAUSE others to stumble..
***
and now I shall cast my cares and carry on -hallelujah & amen
Praise God! for the path i'm on... (me!) ~topps
it is when i look back at pictures.. make collages; the accumulation of great experiences turned into great memories
we all interpret our lives, yes..
it is my interpretation that i am on the path! posted on my door ... the sweetest comeback in the history of ever!
sure feels like it..
the path of the righteous grows brighter and brighter.. from glory to glory.. the narrow path..
and,
also feels like this very experience; the accumulation of great memories/experiences
proving my statement true: when it comes to trauma -you do not bury it; you do not engrave it
you dilute it.
-this works. tried and true.
hallelujah & amen.
searchbar archives: hostess
******
i waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up out of a horrible pit [ a pit of tumult and of destruction ], out of the miry clay ( froth and slime ), and set my feet upon a rock, steading my steps and establishing my goings. And He has put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. -Psalm 40:1-3
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