"GOD IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS -TODAY!!" says (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Dear God... You saw what happened recently with hostess, write. How people practically ignored them on the grocery store shelves until it became headline news that hostess was going out of business... Then sales skyrocketed! And their market value went way up! And I know you know about the recent shooting.. And how gun and ammunition sales are skyrocketing write now! As I type this... Because people are concerned new upcoming gun laws will restrict their availability. This is the America you bless. If you can't beat 'em join 'em, write. So.. That leads quite naturally to what I hope will become headline news: "GOD IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS. - TODAY!". And according to some very tried and true marketing research... This WILL result in the flock we've all been waiting for... Do I hear a hallelujah and "amen!"
posted by SHE @ 8:53 AM
2 Comments:
I mean, clearly this is part of the problem Jesus.. You've just been too available to everyone for too long and.. For free! If people just think like, you'll always be there.. No matter what, no matter when, with no threat of your absence or no concern of a shortage...
Well, you have set yourself up to be taken for granted, now haven't you..
But if you'll let me put a little American capitalism to good work here..
Let me spin this ...
Get us some good old fashioned mass media publicity..
Mix in a lot of drama and a little fear..
Play with the supply/demand numbers in a..
Motivating way..
Oh Jesus! Wait til you see how many people show up for church after I get done spreading this news...
We've tried... And tried..
Good news just doesn't seem to get people's attention.
Neither does prevalence... Or plenty to go around...
"ONE GOD. THREE DAYS REMAINING" -rough draft, rough draft...
But Give me time...
Oh! You already did! Thank you Jesus! I love you
Amen
and i was thinkin' about those free bibles available at my church today too Jesus,
you can't have a table full of free bibles, available to anyone, any time
you've set yourself up to be taken for granted again!
what we need to do, is just place like one or two
and make everyone think -that's it.
last in stock
now or never
first come, first serve...
no one rushes to a table of bibles that will be there this week and next week and the week after that..
ONE GOD LEFT.
BIBLES IN VERY SHORT SUPPLY
that'll have 'em tramplin' over each other like they're a pair of autographed designer tennis shoes...
that would surely help too..
if you could sign just one bible..
oh! i love working for you! Jesus
amen
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