SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

WHAT A DIFFERENCE SOME GOD CAN MAKE by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Let's say I was 18 or 20... And just heard about how you were attacked by an evil gang member and forced to evacuate your residence. I would have immediately been frightened, terrorized even, and quick to validate your worst fears about this life as cold and cruel. Fast forward to me at 48, 50... Upon hearing the same news, I would be outwardly compassionate, empathetic, loving, but simultaneously internally thinking -God's got another one in his leadership training program. THOUGHTS ON SPIRITUAL WARFARE... Same channel/ different program: It works the same in the supernatural as the natural: incentives/results... We actually get it way wrong in the natural with embarrassing frequency because we ignore results... But I'll save those stories for now.. All I wish to communicate, for those of us with an understanding of the spiritual war we are engaged in, is this: if every time the devil tries to get the best of you, you draw closer to God.. With great consistency; with great speed and consistency -that's when the devil will flee. The devil's ambition and victory is to separate you from God...But, If the opposite happens.. So, this is why you should treat every blessing and every obstacle on any scale with the same loving response: praise God!

posted by SHE @ 11:13 AM 0 comments

"THE EXCEPTION TO MY RULE!!". For (me!) Sandra, tvgp

http://www.charlierose.com/schedule/ Jan 28, 2013.. Peter Brooks, the suit ***. So, for how many decades now have I expressed my utter lack of interest in any essay, movie, play, article or tv show that involves the sickeningly over done, painfully unoriginal, God awfully predictable 'infidelity' story line. To say it's been done to death would be a grand understatement.. People get me wrong about why... Very recently, I happened across a friend watching a tv show with , " wait.. Let me guess.. She cheats on him". My friend says to me, " well it does happen a lot" -my lack of interest has nothing to do with the storyline's connection to reality or not... Drug addictions 'happen a lot' murder happens 'a lot'. Gruesome behaviors 'happen a lot' but I don't go out of my way to watch or read those story lines either... It's just all so predictable.. And therefore boring. And until I just watched Peter brook talking to my Charlie rose about, the suit, I didn't think I would ever -ever- advocate for a theatre performance where it's not just a sub/side plot to be tolerated and add drama, or manipulate characters, -infidelity; It is the focus. The star. The main event! The big cut of juicy steak! The entire impetus for the writing and performance of the play. And I'm writing all this without even seeing it.. But! Based on what I'm hearing in this interview.. I've found an exception! To my own rule... At loooooong last! What appears to be an original and highly interesting, intriguing telling of a common behavior! Oh! I'd give anything to see it... And I may never; but just knowing it exists... And then! The story behind the story! ..about the author, cam themba, who wrote the short story this play is based on... Painfully fascinating! I have to watch the interview again...

posted by SHE @ 9:48 AM 1 comments

WORD NERD! (me!) sandra, tvgp

and so, when it was slow..

and only after all my other work was done..  

i flipped through the february 2013 readers digest, and turned to page 81/82 to increase my word power.

there are 15 words.

my self-assigned goal was to create a paragraph or two, using all 15 words:

goes like this:

it was a transient and myopic vignette
with but one irascible character in a bagatelle tabard
forced to truncate popular aphorisms within a staccato arietta
to exiguous applause.
we know this from the way the critics
expeditiously wrote from their hips & nibs,
a scintilla of niggling remarks.


many of those words, i have never used before
and will never use again.

and now it says write at the top of page 81, "it pays to increase your word power."

and so,

i wonder how much?

posted by SHE @ 6:26 PM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen... in domus parking lot, downtown pleasanton by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 9:44 AM 0 comments

HOPE. PASS IT ON from (gloria!)

given to gloria in the 1980's, when her husband was injured and unable to work.. when she thought they might lose their home..  but  -glory, to glory, to glory..

no overnight solution, or financial windfall

but a friend stopping by with words of hope..    she read and re-read

extra opportunties for work came her way..  long days, tough times

but they all pulled through.   she cherishes these words (not numbers, i feel compelled to point out again),

enough that she has held on to these clippings;  still has the originals today.

she allowed me to make a copy.

hope.  pass it on.

posted by SHE @ 9:43 AM 0 comments

SUCH A PLACE EXISTS part 2 by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i'm inspired by recent conversations.. because there was a time i literally didn't know... DID NOT KNOW that such a place existed: (or had forgotten..) where when someone throws a mean spirited insult your way, you are not wounded nor offended. you immediately understand the origin of ugliness is with them, not you, and the insult has no power whatsoever to interrupt your beautiful day; it steals no joy, it robs no peace. they stay stuck.. and you.. you carry on. DID NOT KNOW that such a place even existed: where when you are faced with someone else's crisis -you see it as just that; someone elses. you are not overwhelmed with responsibility to solve the problem nor are you indifferent or apathetic to the situation. you are compassionate with a healthy boundary. AND/OR, with the ability to take ownership of a problem you are and should be responsible for, without falling apart, or wasting time resenting that the problem exists, or wasting energy being pissed off that no one else is coming to the rescue. and as mentioned in part one -a place where you are not addicted, nor exhausting all your energy trying not be a place where you can be confident, without being arrogant. humble without being weak. strong without being dominate. intelligent without being a know it all. ignorant without being stupid. optimistic without being delusional. angry without being hostile powerful without being violent. -self loving without being selfish. loving without being controlling. determined without being attached. spiritual without being religious. and you can be sad. mad. imperfect. confused. you can be those things! -your stumbles can be transformed into eloquent cliff dives and risk becomes something you embrace not avoid you are in the world; but not of the world.. liberated from the culture cocoon you were born into; surrendering in flight toward the mystery. beautiful; as is my God! we are so full of nuance... and how do we know when we have acheived any of the above? and based on what? do we know that above is worthy of pursuit? can you know without getting a sample first? without having the opportunity to dip your finger in.. and lick. because, with just the tiniest taste.. of peace. nothing becomes more worthy of pursuit. and it's just helpful, i think if you know in advance, as you head out on your individual, exhausting journey such a place exists. in fact -you were born there and there, you will return to rest.

posted by SHE @ 9:33 AM 1 comments

SUCH A PLACE EXISTS... By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

And so, I was watchin' James Taylor being interviewed by my Charlie rose... You can see it on his website... Great interview! And when talked about addiction and recovery.. How you need to stay mindful... Mindful seems a perfect word. -because if you are overly preoccupied with avoiding addiction; temptations. Overly preoccupied with whether or not you'll slip, or worried or anxious about making it... Then you've only traded one addiction for another; one form of bondage for another. -in essence, you have still not healed. But if you stay -mindful- aware but not anxious, aware of your vulnerability, aware of the consequences in a respect for weaknesses kind of way... Then you can live and thrive in a healthy way, with confidence and joy and peace without being fully delivered from your addiction. It requires daily effort, consciousness, but it is not exhausting, taxing.. not a constant battle, but a consistent understanding. Can it be described succinctly? Driving seems like a fair analogy... I drive with peace and confidence, but simultaneously, look in my side view and rear view mirrors, I'm alert, avoid potholes, avoid dangerous drivers, intentionally choose some paths over others based on prior driving experiences, Adhere, for the most part, to the rules of the road; but remain flexible, responding always to my immediate and ever changing environment -traffic, weather conditions, detours, pedestrians, bicyclists, construction...relaxed but mindful. This state of being.. Applies to any form of addiction.. Drugs, alcohol, pornography, worry, fear, guilt, food, shopping, appearance.. Long list. There is this place... It is not the same place, as if you had no former addiction at all; it is not that free. Not as free as full delivery from God... But it is a place where you are no longer a slave to the addiction NOR a slave to worrying about backsliding on your recovery. You are at peace with your vulnerability, and therefore very strong. The important thing to know here is this: such a place exists. Follow Jesus... I write this today because I've recently spoke with someone who has not quite arrived at this destination.. Keep going. And that conversation caused me to revisit and thank God for fully delivering me from several different addictions, while 1 or 2 remain... I don't know that I will ever be fully delivered from a couple of my phobias..but, it no longer seems as necessary to pray for full delivery.. Many people before me have said what I'm about to say, so it's not original, it validates: sometimes God, even though he could easily remove an issue, will not. Your job then is to trust this is in your best interest because God is love.. But I promise you God does not want you addicted.. He wants you mindful. Aware of and respectful of freedoms which you might not appreciate without having first been a slave. -his thoughts are higher than our thoughts... His ways are higher than our ways! ... As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: IT WILL NOT RETURN TO ME EMPTY, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah, 55:10-11. And totally different subject.. And tone, but...I find myself sometimes very jealous of numbers people...when my jealousy gets the best of me, i feel compelled to point out "the WORD was made flesh! People... Not the number! And in the passage above... WORD goes out from Gods mouth! People... Not numbers. -just sayin'.

posted by SHE @ 9:46 AM 1 comments

TheHeartSeen.... at civic square apartments by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 7:31 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen.... on my pork chop/rice dinner from my (handsome prince!)

posted by SHE @ 7:28 AM 0 comments

THE AFTER DINNER MINT STORY by (me!) sandra, tvgp

i think i've tried to write this a couple times now, -thing is, i get to laughing so hard i can't finish it..

it is one of my all time favorite moments of 2012.

 it involves one of my favorite co-workers too, who has given me permission to write it.. and i would never write it without permission first.. that's how i roll, as they say these days

 anyway..

her name is priscilla, my beautiful co-worker friend.. and if i had to describe her in only three words, they would be:  above. and. beyond.,   if you gave me five:   the. very. light. of. God.

she is somewhere in her early 20's,  -an exotic beauty on the outside, a pure beauty on the in.   and in all my working history, i have never met anyone with a more impressive work ethic.  by that, i mean, that  -well, she just so consistently blows my mind..  going the extra mile for the customers, for her co-workers, for her supervisors..  and not just if she's in a good mood, or has extra energy, or is up for an annual review.. not just because someone might be watching; she goes the extra mile on every assignment, for every customer,  because -that is who she is.  -in her d.n.a., as they say..

and -she is a jahovah's witness.  this gorgeous young woman knows her bible!  and with great delight we exchange thoughts on different passages during slow times.  well, she provides insight and knowledge and i contribute by asking a lot of questions..  that kind of exchange.   anyway

especially in today's culture, she is a rare, pure bird.  no one at work cusses around her  -and if there's a dirty joke to be told, we take it in another room, or provide an edited G rated version if she's within earshot.  this is not out of shame or guilt on our part, but rather, out of respect, and love and admiration for her

but that is exactly what makes what happened so funny..

priscilla..   with her go-the-extra-mile nature of being..   she is never going to give a one word, yes or no, answer, but rather, she is going to provide extra-mile details

an example might be, if you were to ask her about a local restaurant, "is it good?" say..

priscilla will not only tell you whether it's good or bad, with respectful honesty, but she'll provide the who, what, where, when & why, and show you their menu, and give you driving directions, and she'll remember you by name; where you went, and follow-up by genuinely requesting your testimony when you return.

for priscilla, leaving out any of this information would be the equivalent of cheating you, or shorting you, or lacking in her own job and responsibilities.  she's never gonna brush you off because she's too busy, or doesn't care, or considers it a bother

and! she still uses, Mr. and Mrs. when she addresses people,  no -casual, first name basis stuff; respect, respect; respect.

they really don't make 'em like this anymore..

and as you can imagine, she's developed quite a following over the years, she is 'the favorite' of many, countless customers

which at last brings me to the funny part..  because it was one such customer, a loyal fan of priscilla's,  who came to the front desk after his restaurant visit, one evening and

well, you have to know a little bit about him first..

he is the type of person with what is described as a -dry- sense of humor.  maybe he's joking, maybe he's not..

that's all you need to know actually,

so he belly's up to the front desk, and gives his testimony about the restaurant to priscilla and i, and he was somewhat animated, and conversational, while we politely listened...

then he says, "and i brought you something back to say thank you!"   -the way he said this, and the smile he wore

made it seem like it was ...well, i don't know, but something really special

some of our customers have brought us whole pies!  bottles of expensive wine!   fresh flowers! and chocolates!

but this customer, he really surprised us, because, -he reached in his pocket and had, whatever it was, clutched in his closed hand

then he asked us to open our hands, so he could give us our very special thank you gift

when we opened our hands, he opened his, and handed us each one tiny individually wrapped, red n' white stripped after dinner mint;  you know, the kind you get for free from the candy dish the restaurant keeps next to the cash register

well..   was he being thoughtful? or playful?

i couldn't tell either.

if you respond like he's being playful, when in fact, he's being thoughtful   -this could be a disaster!

so, i just smiled with what i hoped was an equally confusing smile..  could be thoughtful/could be playful

and said, "thank you"

priscilla, however, if you recall from my descriptions above, is not going to respond with just a thank you because that would be like...  well, like brushing you off; a felony in priscillas super customer service world

but what does one say exactly?

i watched her look at him, then look at the mint..  and struggle
..   something, anything..  be gracious..  

and so she looked at him again, looked at the mint, looked at me..   and then back at him as he was walking away 

in the most innocent, sweet voice, in the most genuine manner your corrupt heart can imagine, she goes

"well,

um,

we'll think of you when we suck on these."

and that was all she wrote for me      - i doubled over immediately and went into a shoulder-spasm, tear wipping, belly aching laugh that i couldn't get myself out of; had to leave the room

but not before i watched it dawn on priscilla, what she said.  a facial expression for the ages

then, she got to laughing too

and when we finally could compose ourselves, we talked about how tainted the most innocent words have become

then relived the conversation twelve times and laughed and laughed some more.

talk about people to thank God for!  top of the list!   greatest work ethic of all time; greatest laugh of 2012.

posted by SHE @ 7:20 AM 0 comments

"ARE YOU GOING TO LOVE ME FOREVER?" by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

That's what my handsome prince asked me one day... That question is exactly like asking me, "are you going to live to be 93?". I mean, that's -MY- plan, but... Since we don't get to know how long our lives or love will last... I have learned, or rather, I have been spiritually trained through a series of mind-altering bootcamps, thank you to a full paid scholarship from God, to treasure one day, and one kiss at a time. A: yes.

posted by SHE @ 5:30 PM 0 comments

I WANT TO SPEAK OF LOVE.. (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Not romantic love, or parent/child, or sibling or best friends.. I want to speak of this kind of love: the man who walked past a tree stump, looked and said to himself..I would love to paint on that! It would make a great canvas. And so he cut a portion of the stump, and sanded it flat, and treated it with chemicals so he could paint on it, without the paint being absorbed into the wood; or fading away. He loved certain greens, and blues and so used an abundance of those colors in his painting, which was of another tree, in full bloom, that he saw on a hike, and fell in love with. "I would love to capture the beauty of that tree one day in a painting." he did. A beautiful tree painted on -a tree. He loved the process of painting it; and he loved the result when it was done. We know intuitively what that means, don't we.. That he loved the process and loved the result. But, Now what? He prayed and asked God that it end up in the hands of someone who would love it. He carried it on a hike and laid it against a tree where passersby would see it... And trusted that it would end up in the house of someone who truly loved it. He left. Later that same day, a person stopped and looked at the painting.. The person looked at it, and lifted it.. And checked it out with great regard. He could see it was not painted by any amateur, and was delighted to find a signature on the back... He gathered from the size and weight, that he could successfully carry it back to his truck -and when he got it home.. He started to search the web... Search the Internet... Because He needed to know how much it was worth.

posted by SHE @ 4:49 PM 0 comments

SPIRITUAL BRICK TOSSING.. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Can't tell you what, can't tell you who. Can't tell you when...but what I can tell you is this: one day an undisclosed amount of time ago, I was gifted a gift. No strings attached. A lovely, thoughtful gift. From a lovely, thoughtful person. -and something just didn't feel write about it. I knew if I asked anyone, consulted anyone, that no matter who I spoke with.. They would not have understood why I was troubled in any way.. I could not make sense of it myself... So I kept the gift, but never removed it from my drawer. An undisclosed amount of time later, an opportunity arose for me to give it to someone else... I couldn't do it. Can't explain it. An undisclosed amount of time later, I decided to throw it away. But I couldn't do that either. It just stayed in the drawer... Stayed in the drawer. Somewhere in here, I was re-joyce-ing, as I do 5 days week, and Joyce Meyer said something about... And I can't remember the actual subject, but she had at least... Oh! I think it was about going to a party or not... She said something about how, " maybe you can't explain it, but you just don't have peace about it..". -and those were the exact words I needed to hear to validate my own experience: "I just don't have peace about it." period. I don't have, or need to explain or justify this to anyone else. I don't have peace about it. -and so eventually, but not immediately I threw the gift away. And can I tell you something.. I have to describe this somehow... That saying about 'the weight of the world' being lifted. That applied to my experience almost simultaneously. Until I actually threw it away, I had no idea how much weight it was placing on my.. Soul. My spirit. But once it was gone... I could float almost. And I knew, that magical way we can internally know things, that I did the exact write thing. I wasn't to keep it; I wasn't to give it away; and I wasn't to give it back... I was to throw it away. Wow! I already believed in and understood spiritual energy to a certain degree, but this dried that cement and I know I'll respond more quickly should I face a similar circumstance: no explanation required... If I don't have peace about it... Out it goes. Thank you again Joyce Meyer! I'm a student for life... "and to the Prince of Peace! In his name... Amen"

posted by SHE @ 3:39 PM 0 comments

INDEPENDENT BIBLE STUDY summaries by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

In the background still meditating on -perfect love casts out all fear. In the reading.. Better understanding of the consequences of the rules, laws, regulations we see in the old testament.. Lots of references to 1. -the very act of creating a law, gives greater rise to sin. And even more than that: how adhering to regulations/laws allowed people to look from the outside, as if they were holy, when in fact they weren't -because our TRUTH as humans, is known only internally. In this way.. You could have a phony, outwardly practicing all the correct rituals, so it appeared as if he was genuine, and a genuine person, forgetting, or slipping, or for one reason or another, not following the rituals/regulations to the letter, and be called a sinner or accused of lack of faith, etc. KEY passages for me, which explain new testament vs.old testament, or better explained, new covenant vs. Old covenant = Hebrews 8:10. I will put my laws in their minds and write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. This passage goes on to explain that people won't need to be taught by others.. Because people will already know God in their own hearts. The access is personal relationship through prayer.. Also, Hebrews 9:15 for this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance -now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant. I think about personal/internal truth a lot.. If you've met, as I have over the years, many people who appear to be one thing, but turn out to be something else, then you know 1. Truth exists but 2. Not to the naked eye. -and so, we have our personal truths and I sure do believe Hebrews 4:12. For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. AND that passage fascinates me.. All of this relevant in today's big brothers watching world.. So relevant to contemplate in our world of cameras, video tapes.. So recently, another -what shall we call it? Warning, a threat? ..better behave yourself the camera is watching... They have the video tape going.. And so we learn how to -OUTWARDLY- behave and perform and act, etc. Under the microscope... Under perpetual scrutiny. But we still are left with our inward selves... Our hearts, our attitudes, our personal truths. -and maybe, when you consider all the cameras, videos watching us at every turn, and you consider the nano cameras they can place in our bodies for medical and tracking reasons... Maybe this is the one and only place we have left as humans that a camera can't see.. It is reserved for you and God alone. And then I return to awe ...what a masterpiece each human is!... Who but an almighty, all powerful God could come up with all this!? ..and I am aware I have covered this topic several times over several years, in several similar ways, and I will no doubt revisit it again... Whenever I'm inspired to do so. -how many times have you heard your favorite song?

posted by SHE @ 6:26 AM 0 comments

I WOKE UP WITH MACKLEMORE...(me!) Sandra, tvgp

In my head, that is. "...make the money, don't let the money make you. Change the game, don't let the game change you.." mixed in with..."I can't change... Even if I tried.. Even if I wanted to" mixed in with, "...take me far away..." mixed in with.."I'm gonna pop some tags.. Got $20 in my pocket..." mixed in with.."ten thousand hours..." mixed in with "I'd rather be a starving artist than succeed at getting -clucked..". And my daughter, yesterday, she said, "I was telling my friend how my mom is getting into rap music now.. And she said her mom is too... I told her how you like MACKLEMORE and she said that's the CD her mom has in her car write now too!". And I knew I was listening to something special when my Kelly and brooke first played "...my love, my love, my love...she keeps me warm.... Not cryin' on Sunday's..." and how i said out loud... Excuse me? Did he just reference malcolm gladwell?...but! I told my daughter... This is a remarkable crossover! Not like an artist who crosses over from country to rock or pop... But a rap artist! crossing over from child to parent.. And not the parent playing old songs and having the child -appreciate (tolerate) or vice versa, but current music... Which is reaching in... Not just reaching in... Breaking in! Breaking through... And not just in and out for a quick courtesy visit..but taking up residence -real estate in my heart and mind... And now here is a trick and test...test of, not of time.. But of...well, there is a chance that if word gets out how much us parents like MACKLEMORE that the teens will become less interested, write... Not because the heist isn't phenomenal, because it is.. But because they want to own their own music independent from mom or dad... But from my driver seat in the writeousmom-mobile write now, what we have is a musical miracle... Rap music for the whole family... Okay, well.. I have to re-write some of the lyrics before everyone can rap-along.. But with just a few minor edits... Like "clucking awesome," and "stiiiiitch," and "mother clucker," and big "clock". -this would be great in the next school talent show! I'm gonna have to send a copy of this cd to fungus...rap music's greatest critic... See if they damage any bricks in his wall.. In the meantime.. I can't get in and drive without pushing #3... "this is my favorite song! Play it again!". "... I'm in this big -bass- coat.. From the thrift shop down the road..."

posted by SHE @ 9:14 AM 1 comments

"THE BIBLE SAYS THAT?!" by (me!) sandra, tvgp

-I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME TO UNSQUISH THE WORDS.. or the time to learn HTML so this doesn't happen.. **** yeah, it says that. i was as shocked as any layperson reading this passage out of context would be.. 'cuz, i've never heard this on any of the church tv shows i watch.. EZEKIEL 18:5-... 6?! and scary because the very subtitle for chapter 18 reads: THE ONE WHO SINS WILL DIE. yikes.. k, now let's read this together.. 18:1 The word of the Lord came to me: 2: "What do you people meann by quoting this proverb about the land of Israel: " 'The parents eat sour grapes, and the children's teeth are set on edge'? NOW -BEFORE WE READ ON, let me summarize my interpretation of the entire chapter.. essentially, what this passage says to me, when you read the whole thing, is that -spiritually speaking.. each individual is accountable to God for their own decisions, actions, behaviors, etc. Parents crimes won't reflect on the child, child's crimes won't reflect on the parent.. neighbor's crimes won't reflect on the neighbor; employees crimes won't reflect on the employer, vice versa, versa vice.. we each are accountable for our own actions.. that said, let's keep reading 18-3: As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, you will no longer quote this proverb in Israel. 4: For everyone belongs to me, the parent as well as the child -- both alike belong to me. The one who sins is the one who will die. AND MAY I PAUSE here one more moment, to share how uncomfortable and contrary that always reads to me... any reference to -the one who sins will die - because everything i hear is in contrast.. a loving, forgiving God.. and i always go back, in my imagination to how that is counter to free-will.. in this way: believe in me or die! in which case, there is a certain built in incentive, isn't there, which doesn't leave anyone much -choice- in the matter but! this is also exactly why i return to God as a God of hearts.. when given the -choice- not by threat, but by study, getting to know.. learning about.. appreciating.. valuing... God's LOVE.. you become attracted toward.. not threatened into -know what i mean? i'm off track again, let's return: 18-5: "Suppose there is a righteous man (tempted there to put writeous, of course) who does what is just and right. HERE'S WHERE IT GETS VERY INTERESTING.. 6: He does not defile his neighbor's wife or have sexual relations with a woman during her period. WHOA! WHOA! WHOA... i'm like.. excuse me, what did i just read? is it a sin to have sexual relations when you are on your period?! why... why... 'that's the best time!' -i've never heard such a thing.. i joke with my handsome prince around that time of peaked hormones.. "come here, and let me make a man out of you" - i say, because.. well, that's humor code for it's gonna be messy.. but, know what else.. it's gonna be very good! and he just laughs.. and is there anything sexier than that? and so, well, don't you know, i've gone my whole adult life without having this register as a 'sin' -any form of unrighteousness.. so i read this passage several times: 6: He does not eat at the mountain shrines or look to the idols of the house of Israel. He does not defile his neighbor's wife or (yep.. sure does say what i think it says..) have sexual relations with a woman during her period. 7: He does not oppress anyone, but returns what he took in pledge for a loan. He does not commit robbery but gives his food to the hungry and provides clothing for the naked. 8: He does not lend to them at interest or take a profit from them. He withholds his hand from doing wrong and judges fairly between two parties. 9: He follows my decrees and faithfully keeps my laws. That man is righteous; he will surely live, declares the Sovereign LORD. *** and i'm like.. how on God's green earth, did having sex on your period get put in the same category with robbery? exploitation of the poor/needy? oppression? stealing? adultry? that old sesame street song, about 'one of these things doesn't go with the others.. one of these things, just doesn't belong..' starts playing in my imagination.. and so, leaves us with a few things to think about.. like, what do you do with that information? what if you have been doing something -as a secular person- your entire adult life, and suddenly read in the bible, a book called the book "of truth" and "God's word" but what those words say sit in complete contrast with what you know to be true.. what do you do? and how do we define truth? i'm askin' you, not telling you. i read this passage to my handsome prince.. i'm like.. i had no idea that was considered a sin.. but at least now i know where some of the people from strict religions get there rules and regulations.. they didn't pull it out of the air.. it's in the bible. and, then.. so, my handsome prince thought i was trying to tell him that we weren't going to have sex anymore during -that time. and i said, "oh, no, no, no.. that is not what i'm saying at all!" and i have no intention of -correcting- this behavior.. there is NOTHING in me, that believes this is a sin and so, i just said to Jesus, in prayer.. i said, "i'm almost post-men0pause anyway.. only got a couple years left of sinnin' -then i'm home free and don't even have to worry about it if you would please forgive me" and then, because i'm on my period, like write now, as i type this.. i said, "handsome prince.. come here and let me make a man out of you." and i'm reminded.. Moses gave laws.. we got silly about LAW.. Jesus came and gave grace and truth. when my handsome prince expressed concern, i said, "oh! that is sooo old testament -take off all your clothes.." my truth has been told. amen.

posted by SHE @ 8:45 AM 0 comments

MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS' "THE HEIST" a parents review by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

I must thank my Kelly, and my Brooke, profoundly, for introducing me to this artist, to this music.. I'm pretty confident I would not have come across it on my own. /she says with a smile... And when time allows, I want to write a full review of every song... I'm so impressed. I am also uneasy... But if you put them both on a scale.. Impressed would weigh more.

posted by SHE @ 8:38 AM 0 comments

IS TO AS. -by (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Flesh is to the spirit As The world is to the Word.

posted by SHE @ 8:31 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen... on touriga drive by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 8:02 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen... on EWTN by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 7:56 AM 0 comments

Dear Stakeholders... from (me!) sandra, tvgp

i read:  ..more than two millennia ago, at the battle of arbela in 331 BC, he became master of the known world by defeating darius of persia in a pitched battle where alexander was outnumbered five to one."

i was like..  "331 BC?    -can someone just show me 5 or 6 business plans from the 21st century that succeeded and then i'll know how to write one..      -please."

in fairness, as i read on, this book had some valuable information, but..  i'm just sharing initial reactions..

the business plans book is actually what i needed and what i will use..

but the creative entrepreneur!   this woman speaks my same language..   and because of movers & shakers, and mag time frames, and writeousmom..among other side dish adventures,  i can skip ahead several chapters,  -been there/done that-  

and start about 3/4 of the way through..     it is very true though, historically and practically speaking:  artists and business people are like, two different species.  but we need each other..   and the best of everything we see available in the marketplace today, product or service, is based on either a collaboration between the two, or even better, ...some of these; some of those; and some hybrid brains in the mix..

my brain is already mixing up and getting ready to pour out all the ideas i have for the mission, marketing, objective, target market..  etc, etc,

those things are clear and true, i just have to organize the words..

it's when, as we all know, you must include...    -numbers-    financial   -oh i love this word...  projections...

i'm like..

well, i don't usually write fiction, but..   

i am creative!

posted by SHE @ 7:51 AM 0 comments

3RD PERSON SINGULAR PRESENT INDICATIVE OF BE? by (me!) sandra, tvgp

me: "you have much homework to finish?"

son: "just a few grammar questions"

me: "i'm so sorry to hear that.. grammar. eeww. better you than me"

son: "do you know what a predicate don... noma~nitive something is?"

me: "no idea"

son: "we have to put PN over those"

me: "you just reminded me of the class i HATED! the most, most, most.. it was a class like that.. but i took it in college"

son: "college?"

me: "oh my God! it was like, the STUPIDEST! class.. underlining certain words, circling others.. analyzing and breaking down sentences... i HATED IT! and you know what.. but i love reading and writing, so let me tell you something -there is absolutely no correlation between loving words and loving grammar

son: "is, is a verb"

me: "no. verbs are action words"

son: "no. it's a verb.. he is running"

me: "no. running is the verb. that's where the action is.."

son: "it's a helping verb i think"

me: "what nonsense is that? a helping verb? "

son: "wanna bet? $5"

me: "you're on! is, is so not a verb. wanna double down on that $5?"

/doublin' down always creates a little insecurity.. a sign of confidence to unnerve mr. so sure of himself


he doesn't accept the up of my ante. we stay at $5

and shake.

me: "it's been a long time.. you know what... i think it's a preposition. yes. a preposition. what are prepositions again?"

****


according to dictionary.com

is

is, in fact, a verb.


/but i'm not going to volunteer this information. see if he remembers on his own. $5 is alot of money.


how many people just went wild there?!

'cuz, i mean

a lot. "TWO SEPARATE WORDS STUDENTS!!... if i see alot as one word... you'll have to write the entire paper over!"


/that's alotta writing...


-k, so


says at dictionary dot com

is, (verb) and, but, which is pronounced iz -because... in the english language, we follow some very strange formula where around, 42 and 1/2, point 3 percent of the time, things are spelled phonetically -and the rest is memorize or die

but anyway

the description reads:

3rd person singular present indicitive of be.

/and "thy" in there somewhere and it sounds very shakespearean

but anyway,


you know what...


i've written over 3,000 short stories, newspaper articles, essays, poems, reviews, commentaries and blogs


and have read over 3,000 books

without knowing that. -or needing to know that.

-go figure.


***


so, dear people of the world

you can love books, love reading, love words, love writing

and yet

HATE GRAMMAR.


and clearly... you will not be the only won.

posted by SHE @ 9:26 AM 1 comments

"HERE!'S YOUR #$&^ PASSWORD" by (me!) sandra, tvgp

partially inspired by cbs sunday morning segment re: passwords.   -"great job!"   -cracked up!   here's my contribution..   a gift of validation...


the only time i've ever shared this story, was during a wine tasting lunch at concannon in livermore, when my brother, larry,  was visiting..   HE LAUGHED! everyone at the table laughed,  and that made everything suddenly okay..

but i'm not proud of myself.

what happened you see, is that i was working with a VERY FRUSTRATING computer program.  ultra outdated for one, and with an over-kill security system for two..

outdated means, the program was written in like..  1970 something  /although i'm told it's not that old..

over-kill security means, that..  well, i will exaggerate here to make my point, but ...


"..it feels like you are FORCED to enter a username and password every three seconds!   first name.  -username and password.   last name..  no wait!  first enter your username and password.  click to change page.. but wait!  first you must enter your username and password..    exit  -nope!  first you must enter your username and password.    -get back in...   NOT WITHOUT ENTERING YOUR USERNAME and PASSWORD...

made me absolutely crazy..  but you have no choice.

so, every three seconds, that's what i did...  username/password..

username/password

username/password.


then one day.  one very dreaded day, a message appeared that i would have to CHANGE my username and password

  'no, no, no,.... please no.'

but again, i knew i had no choice..   

so i came up with a new username and password that i would have to enter every three seconds

only.  -no surprise with this computer program,  -it didn't work.

i made sure, double checked i was meeting the criteria:  7 letters 1 number; yes.  verified.

"I DID!"  i was yelling at the computer...   7 letters! 1 number!   "I'M DOING WHAT YOU TELL ME!"

damn thing wouldn't listen.   i call over a co-worker..   ask for help..

"are you sure you are putting in 7 letters and 1 number?"    -is there anything more irritating...

"YES!"   and i politely refrained from attempted homicide

"well, try a different one"  he tells me

"I'VE ALREADY TRIED 10 DIFFERENT TIMES!  I'M OUT OF IDEAS!  I HAVE NO MORE 7 LETTERS 1 NUMBER COMBINATIONS IN MY BRAIN...  "

my co-worker was very polite... turned his back so he couldn't actually see what i was entering as my username and password..  

i mean, i didn't care if he knew or not, but this is the etiquette...   don't watch when someone enters their personal, top secret, password..

so i tried again...    "  -THIS IS THE LAST TIME!  I'VE HAD IT!"

and so, with less than no patience left, and a full plan to surrender, quit my job, and walk 10 miles home

i tried this one last time.     -seven letters.  one number.    CLICK!

and what choice did i have but to believe in miracles again because  IT WORKED!

and so i told my co-worker he could turn around, and i didn't hug him and lift him and twirl him in the air like i wanted to, but i did smile real big and thank him for his patience.

k-

'but that's not where the story ends.

because fast forward a couple weeks, and a new co-worker is by my side.   awesome annie, i call her..

and awesome annie..  she only works every now and then to cover shifts for others.. she has a different full time job

and so,  -she didn't have her own username and password.  she had to

   "i'm sorry?"  i said, with my face turning a variety shades of red..  "you need MY username and password?"

well, ... 

well,..

"okay, but.. i kinda need to explain something first..   have you ever tried to enter a new username and password in this thing?!"

and i sang, and i danced behind the curtain, but at some point i had to, you know.. 

well,   -if i don't write..  if i just.. say it; whisper it

v     e      r     y            s    l   o   w    l   y

she won't catch on..

so, i walked past her with the first letter..


F


and then grabbed some water, took a sip,

U


and then,  

C


and then i answered the phone,

and then said,
"k"


and then,  

"and then you type the word  YOU


and then the number 2"



and she didn't laugh like i hoped she would...  but she did type it in

and "IT WORKED!"


so there.

posted by SHE @ 11:28 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen! during nick vujicic segment on (cbs sunday morning!) by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 10:37 AM 0 comments

R.I.P. MICHAEL DEAN, with love, from (me!) sandra, tvgp

i just learned from jerry, that his brother, michael dean died on january 2nd, 2013.   in his memory and honor, i'm reposting my interview with him, as published in the pleasanton patch june 15th, 2011.   certainly count him among the people i'm very glad i got to know..  rest in peace michael..

services will be held at valley community church saturday, jan 19th, 1pm.

Tully's Corner: Meet Michael Wesley Dean, Musician with a Miracle to Share



Michael Wesley Dean is one of those men you see sittin’ ‘round the fire hydrant like a camp fire in front of Tully’s Coffee, but only in the evening.

He shows up around 5 p.m. and stays for a half hour or so. He is a nocturnal creature. Part writer, all musician. Christian man and cancer survivor.

If the last name Dean sounds familiar, it’s because Michael is the older brother of Jerry Dean, Mayor of the corner, whom I introduced some time ago.

And if the entire name, Michael Wesley Dean, sounds familiar, it might be from his very long and adventurous music career.

I had no idea! I remember meeting Michael Wesley Dean for the first time in front of Alexander’s Gallery on Main Street. He had written and was performing a theme song for Gary Winter’s new SNGear website launch. I had no idea at the time what a successful and exciting career his musical passions ignited.

He started experimenting with the trombone and trumpet in the fourth grade, but found his calling when he picked up the sax.

“It was the new rock and roll era and I was hypnotized by the wailing saxophones,” Michael says.

In addition to the school band, he began studying with Stan Kenton Band saxophonist Clint Neagley. He credits him, Jim Horn, Big Jay McNeely, Chuck Higgins and Joe Houston for teaching him how to “make the horn sing.”

Michael formed his first rock and roll band during middle school with one friend on guitar and one on drums. They called themselves The Futuras and performed at school dances, on sports nights and for other school functions. Simultaneously, he was the lead alto sax for the school’s 18-piece concert jazz band, but his heart longed to play something more modern. As a result, he began hand selecting musicians from the music department to form his own big band, which played a variety of top-of-the-charts tunes like the Peter Gunn Theme and theme from The Man With The Golden Arm.

By his freshman year in high school, Michael had formed his second rock and roll band, The Del Prados. They enjoyed status as the backup band for Ritchie Ray, and in 1963, recorded The Twirl and Come Back To Me, written by Roy Orbison, which earned local air play.

After visiting rehearsals of another band, Michael was enticed to leave the Del Prados and join The Coachmen, where he played not only the saxophone, but piano/organ, flute, guitar and drums.
The Coachmen performed at L.A. hotspots like the Peppermint Stick, Cinnamon Cinder and Hollywood’s Red Velvet and at the L.A. International Airport to celebrate the arrival of Mexico President Adolfo Lopez Mateos — which turned into an event at the L.A. Press Club, with prestigious guests including President Lyndon Johnson, Jayne Mansfield and her husband, Mickey Hargitay.

The Coachmen eventually signed a contract with Capitol Records and their name was changed to Moorpark Intersection. Moorpark enjoyed a couple years-worth of concert tours and air play and can be found and enjoyed today, courtesy of the Internet.

Michael continued playing music in a variety of groups, including his namesake band, The Michael Wesley Group; The Krabz; The Coloring Book; and The City Limits. He performed with famed drummer Sandy Nelson, and recording artists Ral Donner and Richie Allen.

Sassy Class, a band he played with in the 1970s, performed at King’s Castle Casino, Golden Nugget Casino and Harrah’s and Harvey’s in Tahoe and Reno.

div> During this decade, Sassy Class shared the bill with Peggy Fleming, the Bellamy Brothers, Bill Cosby and Fats Domino, among others. In 1976, Sassy Class entertained at the Magic Mountain Theme Park's 3,000-seat amphitheatre. After an eight-year journey with Sassy Class, Michael decided to pursue a solo writing and recording career.

By the mid-1980s, Michael was performing under his own name and had created an elaborate MIDI (musical digital interface), which consisted of seven synthesizers linked to high-end computer software. This allowed him to perform as if with a band and to create music from his home studio in Pleasanton.

In 1986, he entered and won a song-writing competition that landed him a grand prize for his country composition, Halfpint of Heaven.

He appeared on the CBS television show People Are Talking to receive his award, which was presented by Grammy-winning songwriter Joe Reposo and his wife, TV personality, Pat Collins.
Shortly after, he won third place Male Vocalist in the Nashville Network, Nashville Talent Show, and second place the following year, and achieved a Top Ten Award in Nashville’s Music City Song Festival with his song, Tonight We’re Walking Home.

The '90s brought many personal and health-related challenges Michael’s way. He was diagnosed with tonsil cancer, and spent several months undergoing radiation and chemotherapy treatments.
Side-effects in the aftermath of his treatments brought on still more health challenges until he was battling not only cancer, but lung and heart disease. It certainly looked, for a time, like he would not sing again and would not be able to create music in the same way.

It was during this time that he turned to Valley Community Church for support, and a kind lady by the name of Betsy took him under her wing. Michael explained to me that while the doctors had assured him he was cancer-free, a sudden swollen face and painful upper jaw terrified him with the thought the cancer returned. Doctors were recommending a surgery that would remove a portion of his face. He admitted to himself and close friends and family that he wanted to opt out of the surgery and surrender to fate.  Betsy took him to the pastor and prayer group at Valley Community Church.

“They laid hands on me, and prayed and everything,” he tells me. Then he lowers his head a bit and says shyly, “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but … I had a miracle.”

“Oh, you can tell me anything you want about miracles,” I said. “I’m a believer.”

Michael explained that after they laid hands on him and prayed, he experienced a rare and random bloody nose, but when he returned to the hospital the following Friday, the doctor couldn’t find any reason he should be there. The swelling and the pain had disappeared.

Michael publicly thanked Jesus by providing his testimony during a service Valley Community Church held at the Alameda County Fairgrounds, and he was baptised four years ago. He continues to attend Valley Community Church and continues to make beautiful music.

Michael has authored a memoir about his musical career and personal battles along the way.
It is titled Triumph Over Trauma. He says he hopes to inspire, through his prose and humor and music, anyone who needs encouragement on their life journey.

posted by SHE @ 6:54 PM 0 comments

INTRODUCING SHARON FOTHERGILL by (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 11:46 AM 0 comments

CHRISTIAN OF A DIFFERENT KIND (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 7:17 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen... in a bowl of popcorn for (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 6:18 AM 0 comments

TheHeartSeen.com A Letter To Dream Catalysts from (me!) sandra, tvgp

posted by SHE @ 1:11 PM 1 comments