All Eyes On Alden Lane Nursery in 2021 says (me!) sandra, tvgp
i love this picture! it captures the beautiful smiles of two community icons: Charlotte Severin & Jacquie Williams Courtright -plus captures the spectacular painting of ravenswood in fall by Charlotte.
-i asked a silly question when i saw the painting "are those fall colors just your favorite to work with?"
"i love all the colors" Charlotte said with a smile of her own..
/of course, -write. can i take my question back please...
***
and regarding alden lane nursery -during my last shift, i was asked numerous times whether or not the nursery would be shutting down again with the new covid spike and regulations
each time i answered the same way -explaining how we are an essential business, and how we are so outdoors; pointing to the acres of open land; trees, flowers, plants... and talking about how we are finally open 7 days a week again, and!
i can't count the amount of people who share with me, that they come to alden lane to have their spirits lifted; especially during this time
and we are an essential business primarily because we sell food; vegetables; herbs, fruit trees..
but i want you to know, alden lane nursery is an essential business because we offer fresh air, nature, beauty, colorful flowers, a beautiful fountain, gorgeous statuary, an open landscape, and all of our 400+ year old stunning valley oak trees [CH!]
being outdoors and in beautiful landscapes is essential to our over all well being whether our government officials realize it or not
and! especially if you have been 'sheltered in place' in your home, working from home; schooling from home
you need to get out!
and what i have mentioned many times, in different ways is this: nature is the most generous, and the easiest way back to health and happiness
what i mean by easiest, is this: many people put a lot of effort into trying to relax.. taking yoga classes, would be a great example
and yoga is wonderful no doubt, but..
i would argue, you can land in the same place, spiritually/mentally/emotionally (perhaps not physically) by just walking slowly through alden lane nursery and letting your eyes land on all the flowers, trees, plants.. breathing the fresh air, noticing the sky, the clouds.. the birds, the squirrels, the butterflies, the hummingbirds
you dont have to TRY to make anything happen; you just walk and stroll...
next thing you know, you feel better. it is so easy people!
***
and, but then i realize.. this is true for customers, for guests of alden lane nursery, for some of its employees
if you own, or operate..
oh goodness! the weight of the responsibilities... and with the pandemic, and all the safety precautions, the ever changing mandated guidelines; codes..
but it is my understanding that our owner, and operators
they go to other beautiful landscapes around the world for their own spiritual nourishment
beauty without the responsibilities; AKA vacation. ~aloha~
***
"we were just in a funk... and so i said, let's go to alden lane...."
i hear it over and over..
and the other thing i hear over and over
"this is my first time here.. i had no idea how beautiful!"
-and we give a lavender sachet to each new customer.. and we cannot keep up with the making of these sachets lately..
when i encounter new customers, i've been saying the same thing too
"keep your eyes on alden lane in 2021! we've had to postpone some events due to covid
i don't think of them as canceled, just postponed, and we have live music here... wine tasting... artists everywhere for art under the oaks.. we have a fairy festival... quilt show... classes -art classes and taking care of your plants classes.."
really,
every single cashier at alden lane is quality.. but you're going to get a little extra if you are in my line
value added service
and my most recent value added service was when one of my customers was wearing a t-shirt with shakespeare on it..
husband and wife; husband was wearing the t- shirt
"you like shakespeare?"
and they both told me about how, BC (before covid), they used to drive to oregon for the shakespeare festival..
"have you ever been to moss landing?"
and they had not.
do you know how exciting it is when you know of a place, and they've never been there or heard of it, even..
and so i shared about how i had just been there... and, "you have to go! it's got everything shakespeare.. books, portraits, costumes, souvenirs, memorabilia - a library like you've never seen! pins, postcards.. statues.. it's going to blow your mind"
and,
i really enjoy cashiering for that reason.. little mini conversations, all day long
a sport logo on a hat; a word or design on a t-shirt; a question about a product they purchased;
their dog; their children.. earrings, -and as of late, the design of their face mask
any little tiny passing thing, and a mini conversation is born.
except!
except during 'blackout'
BLACKOUT is march 15th - June 15th, and it is all hands on deck, and very little talking..
our busiest time of every year. all registers ringing, and we all work very hard to keep any waiting in line to an absolute minimum
"good to see you!" "thank you" "next customer" is the extent of our blackout conversations.
no one takes it personal though, everyone just understands.
In Jesus Name.. amen.
#charlotteseverin #aldenlane
The Greatest Thing I Never Did (me!) sandra, tvgp
(me!): "baby.. I want you to take a look at the segment I sent you... and the boston globe article.. you've had 4 years of college level psychology... 21+ years life experience... I want your … I want.. /tearing up, unable to speak
daughter: "did it trigger..."
(me!): "trigger! trigger! trigger!"
and I couldn't speak more on the topic, because I would just cry, and that is so unproductive when you're trying to communicate, and we were on a very restricted time schedule.
she came to share my 1/2 hour lunch at alden lane. and there we sat, in company of the 400 old valley oaks, gorgeous camellias, 100's of roses just shy of blooming.. on a perfect climate, blue sky day, people shopping for plants/flowers/trees all around us, with such happiness a rain-free spring/summer day had finally arrived
and, as is always, always, true.. I was very conscious of the fact
-the only reason I could even be sitting outside with my beautiful young adult daughter; enjoying conversation, eating chili, apples, donut dessert
-the only reason I could recently fix a salmon dinner, snickerdoodle/mint ice cream dessert, and get a good visit in with my handsome young adult son,
-the only reason I could recently fix biscuits and gravy for my dad and his wife... and get in a good visit
-the only reason I could recently fix pot roast/mash potatoes and get in a good visit with my mom and her husband..
-the only reason I can be in love with Robert, acclimating to a place I get to call home.. and letting him teach me how to make these meals to share with friends and family...
-the only reason I get to talk with my sister, nieces, nephews, brother... relatives... friends..
-the only reason I can enjoy my coffee visits with treasured friends like Catherine, Carla, Mary, Lisa, Anne, Carol, Kathy..
the only reason I can write this write now...
is because of the greatest thing I NEVER DID!
i'm always -now- so grateful I didn't do it.
and trust me... I had good cause. accumulating all the time... people would have not condoned it for sure; but people would have understood..
but, wow! -all the time, wow! -to consider all the years, life experiences I would have missed out on.. it's overwhelming
and my daughter had a great, valid, and factual thought to share,
-something we have both learned is painfully true:
-sometimes talking about it...
makes it worse; not better.
-sometimes, the attention paid to a topic by the media..
makes it worse; not better.
you get copycats..
you get people who are highly suggestive... in vulnerable times;
you have immaturity, sensitivities.. mental disorders triggered..
and this is true,
even if all the media attention is being used to say "DONT DO THIS"
the attention itself results in more people doing it..
so,
i'm on a bit of a tightrope..
but, knowing what I've said above is TRUE
it is why I stopped talking about, writing about, or even thinking about
[and you cannot find any reference to it for the past 10 years of my blog for that reason; and I wont even mention it here]
-because I am RESULTS ORIENTED
so, if talking helps, and the numbers DECREASE; talk some more..
but if talking/writing INCREASES the statistic, widens the problem..
so,
what I want to discuss then, here
is what, in my 5 plus decades, and having survived multiple traumas
what I've learned about the human brain/the mind..
and, my learning is from life experience
i'm hoping my daughter will share, in comments, what she's learned
in the academic world, with 4 years of college level psychology under her belt
***
it is THE PERFECT ANALOGY!
and all of this, it is with love, and in memory and honor of Alexandra Valoras
we don't have a lot in common,
but the couple things we do have in common, they are very significant
a sister scribe,
I was so moved to see and learn how she loved to write; hand write
and keep a journal..
the journal, her journal..
she described as being the one thing she never wanted to end. she loved it the most.
and I feel this way of my blog...
and now, the 13 years+ and over 4,000 writings, pictures, ..
not one word of it would exist, if for not the greatest thing I never did.
let's return however, with love
and in Jesus name, to what we can learn; what I have learned
THE PERFECT ANALOGY to the HUMAN MIND/THOUGHTS
Alexandra wrote it with her own hand:
This book is my garden.
I don't grow much.
A lot of weeds overrun it. The soil is rocky.
***
if you watch the segment on cbs
sunday morning,
I first want to point out, how..
a HUGE, grand canyon size contrast between what was going on INSIDE
and what was being seen on the OUTSIDE.
I lived like that for many years..
and share her experience of just wanting to BE ALONE...
smiling and chatting with family and friends like all was normal..but pre-occupied on the inside with JUST WANTING TO BE ALONE
and kind of knowing what I needed to do in order to get there; ALONE
***
so,
I have become aware, that out of the two lives all humans simultaneously have; INNER/OUTER
the one we ourselves, (the host container) consider 'true'
the one we would identify as being 'real' [much more later on what 'real' means]
is our INNER life.
the silent thoughts of our mind when we are alone
and we see this with Alexandra,
she did not ultimately respond to her outer life as 'real', or she would still be here.
she responded/reacted to her inner life. /what mechanism allows us to identify real vs. acting? authentic vs. pretending?
the lesson here, is be aware of inner lifes/thoughts/feelings
and challenge them!
to seculars I say that: challenge your thoughts/question their authority
Christians already know, from Bible teachings to 'hold every thought captive'
and, this is equally true of 'feelings'
it should also be said, 'hold every feeling captive' question its authority
***
it seems to me,
we have default systems; mental default systems,
default thoughts.. and default feelings
(negative) default thoughts and (negative) default feelings, both come up like weeds in our mind..
we did not ourselves, plant them..
no effort on our part, was or is required..
they just pop up here, and there, and there and here..
and left unaddressed, unattended
they take over very quickly.
ONLY IF YOU WEED NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OUT
and ONLY IF YOU REPLACE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS
PROACTIVELY
WITH CONSCIOUS EFFORT
can you eliminate the weeds
and beautify your garden
and the same way, we need to CONTINUALLY WEED...
this thought/feeling assess, weed, replacement... needs to be A LIFE LONG PRACTICE
and, like anything else,
if you keep up on it..
the less labor intensive, and easier to manage..
the human mind can only be conscious of one thought/feeling at a time
and that space is either going to be positive or negative or neutral
it is the same with that space in the soil
if there is a weed there; there cannot, in that exact same space also be a healthy flower
it is always one or the other
and where a healthy flower has taken space
that exact same space cannot be simultaneously a weed
they can be side to side, yes.. but not taking up the exact same space
so,
REPLACEMENT is key
if we do nothing but pull out the weed, the weed returns..
and I have been in this practice for many years now
holding my inner thoughts and feelings captive..
weeding...
replacing...
there is never a time when the job is done
it is like our need for water
you can't drink a whole bunch one day and have it last for weeks, or years..
every. single. day.
day. in. and. day. out.
a few, multiple times
every. single. day
hold your thoughts, and your feelings captive
weed
replace
your mind is your garden.
what would you like for it to look like?
***
****
tbs.
future addendums - getting weeds "by the roots!"
when material/academic success is not success at all...
a spiritual autopsy of Alexandra
origin of thoughts themselves; the mind as the battle field
how we hear our thoughts
***
reminder:
we come to earth with instructions
what we love to do instructs us on what we are here to do;
what suffering we endure instructs us on who we are here to help
***
In "Thank You Jesus!" that I am rescued and restored's, name... amen & amen.
***
where was I? yes.. we are discussing suicide, and more specifically suicidal thoughts
what I know is this:
the LIE that suicidal humans believe is that how they are 'feeling' in the moment; in the time window they are currently in
they believe that is how they will "feel" for their whole lives; they cannot see a way out
and, we can agree, cant we..
if you read alexandras journal.. and you see how she was 'feeling'
that, if anyone had to feel that way, day in and day out, for the rest of a really long life..
it would be no quality of life at all; the whole thing would in fact be miserable.
but, what we know,
from the millions of people who 'considered' or 'attempted' suicide, but did not go through with it, or did not succeed
yikes! the word 'succeed' should NOT BE USED in this context; ever!
let me correct
from the millions of people who attempted suicide, but did not die, and went on to
very slowly
heal
-well, there are too many testimonies to count, about how a human beings life can get slowly turned around, and become
joyful, challenging/rewarding, worth living, productive.. of value and service to many others..
purposeful..
***
so, let's look closer at the current statistics /not fact checked by me,
as presented on the cbs segment,
2nd leading cause of death
males and females
15-24 years old.
40 year high
for females 15 - 19 years old.
let's wonder together here...
I will do no actual research.. but have these questions:
when did an entity start keeping statistics on suicide?
what, how did those statistics originate? for what population group?
and, if looking over the years from the beginning of keeping such a statistic
to this present day
in what time frame were suicides at an all time low?
what was going in the cultural at the time?
and, as we are at an all time high, apparently
what is going on in our culture, which is contributing to the increase..
I wonder about also,
how much you have to know/understand; what level of consciousness
a human has to be, in order to genuinely even contemplate suicide -for real
I would say, I was in the 14 - 18 year old range
but prior to that age.. very yucky life circumstances..
I just didn't yet, at say, age 6- 10..
I didn't yet know what suicide was..
I have no memory of when I heard the word and learned the definition for the first time
and how much longer after learning about it.. until I considered it for myself
a way out
certainly we hear very young people, saying the words, 'I just want to kill myself'
or 'kill that person'
but at a certain age, these are words coming from someone who would never actually murder, or commit suicide
but, how old? or what is the youngest age, a human being has
committed suicide?
and I have a vision entering
a kindergarten child, having a toy taken away
not ready or willing to share..
not ready or willing to have something -taken/ripped out their hands
and this kindergarten child
if this is what life is going to be like... i'll just kill myself...
and, of course.. all of this, just imagination/pondering to make a point
to help people think..
how old, what level of consciousness before it becomes serious?
and,
if we had the kindergarten child -in a moment of high hurt and emotion
ready to kill themselves
any adult, could... "don't be silly.. that is ridiculous..
something so drastic! -for, something so ultimately minor..
and, when things appear minor to someone on the outside,
but how that same something, feels very major to a different person on the inside
-how those sensitivity levels are formed/shaped? felt/interpreted by the host human
and in my imagination...
from God's perspective,
our adults..
the ones so depressed, anguished, stuck, hurting..
they are all kindergartners
making major decisions, based on
from a heavenly, eternal perspective,
minor, temporary
-hard-
but not impossible;
unfortunate, yes
but not infinitely devastating
-we return to the cliché-
suicide. a permanent solution to what was a temporary problem.
and, I interject here..
because,
for some stretches, I was merely living
from one severe temporary problem
to a new severe - but - temporary problem.
length, intensity, -all variables
but,
boy am I glad..
always glad to be here.
***
YES -this decade in a young persons life
15 - 25, give or take a couple a years
A WILDLY VULNERABLE/FRAGILE decade
everyone has by this time, received a set of messages
from their families, their neighbors, their social groups/friends
their culture, their leaders/teachers
society and mass media and social media
and
it is my opinion,
that more important than math, and science
we should be learning during this time
how to identify what messages we have received, their origins
under what messages are our lives influenced?
-because every single person is under the influence of someone/something..
a plethora of messages..
and I would say, very few young people are receiving and living under the influence of this message:
and we should teach young people how to evaluate/assess/challenge..
how to hold thoughts captive
how to become impervious to negative/hostile thoughts/messages and people
****
tbc.
****
in the nursery,
I am exposed to people every day..
and they are paying money
picking out pretty plants..
picking out very specific soil..
picking out such specific fertilizers,
carefully, mindfully..
watering..
careful, mindful
about the amount of sun/shade..
so much attention, effort, energy
reading/research...
pruning by instruction
all
so that the pretty plant they paid for
all so that it will thrive.
, but,
look at these weeds
amazes (me!)
no money has been spent
no books have been read
no soil has been amended
no fertilizers added
no attention to the amount of sun/shade..
with no effort at all..
no special conditions..
they just THRIVE
UNWELCOMED, UNINVITED THRIVING GUESTS.
and,
in my opinion and analogy,
it is because
LIFE TAKES EFFORT
negative thoughts need no special conditions, attention, mindful anything
they just pop up like weeds
to replace a negative thought with a positive thought takes conscious effort.
and, let's return here
to the beauty
of the process
of the evolution
of when we do put in effort:
unconsciously incompetent, to consciously incompetent, to consciously competent to unconsciously competent
/sure wish I knew who first condensed and thought and wrote that one!
so, what can initially take a great deal of effort
can,
through practice/habit..
become a type of effortless success.
so,
if we stay with the garden/weed analogy:
the hard work of creating a beautiful garden
evolves toward an easy ability to maintain a beautiful garden.
in its shortest, most elegant form:
creating hard; maintaining easy
it can be fun.. its strange..
the results of no effort at all
vs. putting in so much effort it ultimately becomes effortless
there is quite a distinction no effort vs. effortless...
-tbc.
