WHAT TURNS (me!) ON.. Sandra, tvgp
Have you ever seen the actual look on a mans face.. His expression.. His eyes.. When he sees a naked lady? I remember a long, long, time ago a male friend of mine staring at a certain centerfold.. When he looked at it, it lit him up like.. The way I might light up when I first open a box of sees nuts and chews. But when I looked at the centerfold; nothing. Like.. Well it all reminded me also of when some guy.. A long, long, time ago.. Slowly, proudly, opened the hood of his car.. He looked at the engine as if it were more precious and rare than a flawless diamond and then looked at me.. And then directed me via gesture to "behold!" what I stood in front of and had the great honor of privately viewing.. I think he was searching for some sort of awe in my eyes, but instead he got blanks. And all of that, that you just read is just prelude to explain.. In a very ineffienct way.. .. Skin, and flesh, for sure... Of course... A good cologne.. No doubt... But what really turns me on, lights me up, fuels my fire.. "PAPER!". -that's write. Not diamonds.. Not fancy cars.. "Pretty papers". .. Designer papers, stickers, little cute ribbons, buttons, embellishments, die cuts.. And all the equipment that helps me make paper crafts.. Big screen tv? Surround sound? I could not care less... $20 worth of designer paper... A new die cut machine... Paper cutters.. Sexy See through organizers! Font stickers! STAMPS! INK PADS! .. I feel my heart rate excellerating.. My pupils dialating... My breathing more rapid.. Just yesterday I was with Michael.. I'm sorry, I meant of course, I was -at- michaels. (please note that the two most popular stores to shop in for paper craft products have masculine names. -and plural: Michaels. Richards. -there is one feminine: Joanne. But she is more about fabric than paper.. But guess what? Guess what! GUESS WHAT!?... If my prayers continue to be answered.. And there is every indication that they will.. We can soon add one more masculine plural name to the list: "Ricks Picks in Pleasanton!" -it is in the discussion, proposal, -prove it can turn a profit- phase write now.. But I'm pretty confident by February 2014.. You are going to be in my paper craft workshop learning how to make a gift box full of fortune cookies using the valentine themed designer papers! With cute love notes and good fortunes inside! .. And heart garland! And romantic candle decorations! And heart shaped origami! And.. Let us not forget... "mag time love frames!"
"thank you Jesus! ..and Rick!". -amen.
original post dec 27th, 2013
AMELIA'S WINS PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD! AT BON APPETIT TOASTS & TASTES OF FALL P.P.I.E. FUNDRAISER
this shot up to the top of my favorite night's in 2008 list write away..
it was the p.p.i.e.'s (that's pleasanton partnerships in education foundation): bon appetit toasts and tastes of fall ~ culinary event ~ fundraiser.
tickets were like, $60 each, so no chance i would have been there if not for working at amelia's
(thank you gita/vinit again!) and being invited by chef steve to help out.
let me start by telling you what help out meant: it meant first, getting dressed up.. and i've not had many opportunities/reasons to get dressed up, so very excited about that
good, valid reason to put on my favorite long black gypsy skirt with sequence embellishments around the bottom, my high heel black boots, and found a pretty black top with a fancy open paisley shape near the neckline with a diamond-looking gem at the point on the clearance rack at macy's
and i must share here, a fashion-first for me. i went into that dressing room with 7 or 8 different blouses.. tried the black one mentioned above on first, and it fit so perfect, felt so comfortable, and hit so write within my budget, that i never did even try on the other blouses. just took it off and went straight to the counter to pay for it
next day, i think it was.. chef steve tells me maybe saturday is off.. i won't be going.
"but.. but.. i got a pretty blouse and made a hair appointment.. you're not allowed to change your mind.."
and so i think there was some shuffling done behind the scenes to include me after all.
i'm very grateful, because the next part of helping out meant leading everyone (chef steve & tony) to the carr america center. and i know write where that is because that's where the poetry, prose & art festival was held one year, and that's where centerpointe church was held inbetween their old and new locations.. and with my broken compass, usually i'm the very last person to be asked directions, but in this paricular case, with such confidence i could say, follow me boys.. and lead the way.
next it was my job to sit in chef steve's truck and listen to music while him and tony carted things inside the building, -because someone had to watch the stuff, write..-
and then it was my job to fill a bucket with water and bring it to our table, and then unwrap a few condiment containers.. and then, get this..
mix and mingle with our table partners. because each restaurant/chef's table is paired with a principal from one of the schools in the district, and a corporate sponsor
in our case, the principal was colleen henry, the principal from lydiksen elementary, and the corporate sponsor was shawn batoy, who sits on the p.p.i.e. board and works for robert half international. two of the coolest people you could hope to share a table with...
[hear my daughter's voice.. whenever we drive by...
is it robert half. -international? or robert. -half international?]
i hit it off with colleen write away, because i found out in no time that she is a fellow writer.. and not just a fellow writer, but a self-published fellow writer.. her and a best friend, had some time ago, during and in the aftermath of their mutual divorces, written an erma bombeck-ish, tongue n' cheek story about their experiences with divorce/single motherhood.. took them three years she told me.. and you know i have got to get my hands on one of those books! -which she believes she still may have available somewhere in the boxes in her garage..
in any case.. she was delightful, fun, light-hearted, generous, and i liked her immediately, but got even better when i learned that, like me.. she doesn't much cook
poor chef steve.. there he was with some 600 bacon wrapped shrimp, TWO grills..
and two women.. but neither one of us fighting over the chance to learn how to cook those shrimp
enter corporate heroine sponsor write here: because in walks shawn batoy, who knows her way around the kitchen..
thank God! -that shifted things so that chef steve actually had some talented/competent help with the grillin' and colleen and i were free to do what we do best,
drink. ~ i mean ~ .. open wine bottles and pour wine. and when i say, what we do best, i mean, between cooking or pouring
the opening part was a little tricky.. i've not used that type wine opener before, so cut a few corks in three, but .. after opening some 20 bottles, i started to catch on..
so this was how i helped out all night; this was, ~my job: open wine. drink wine. pour wine. visit with people and tell them about amelia's..
(waiting for full time position to open..) "and do you know about our new expanded menus? our live chef on friday nights?... we're on the same street as the farmer's market.. let me give you one of our cards.." smile. pour. next...
the wine by the way,
was.. was..
let me think..
because at some point, a man named david in a blue shirt, came to our table and told us.. he held
up a bottle, and pointed to the label, and explained in great, sophisticated detail, the name.. the grape, the location.. the year.. but he went really fast.. and i didn't have a pen and paper, just my ears.. so although colleen and i listend with every intention of sharing this information correctly with our guests.. the information seemed to disappear in random pieces in the air
did he say saugivnon blanc? he said, savin-yawn something..
and he said, grov-s, (ahs) not graves.. with a long A sound,
even though that's what was on the label
i never could say it with any confidence.. always a question mark..
"we really like this wine.. what is it?" and i would say.. sahvin-yawn blonk? and then instead would just pick up a bottle and let them read the label.. and here's the thing.. i don't think saugivnon blanc is mentioned anywhere on the label...
[have labels competely forgotten their role, i wonder]
colleen found her way around it by saying, and very professionally, i might add, "it's a light, french, white.." and just kept pourin'
i would later learn david is the husband of debi covello, who is the p.p.i.e's executive director..
enjoyed meeting them also; and here they are here:
and rarely, once i think, i felt a slight hint of guilt not working the grill, but chef steve said to me.. "you can be eye candy"
and i know what eye candy is, so i gave a yeah-write thanks, and thought to myself, .. definitely not eye-candy.. eye-broccoli maybe.. but definitely not eye candy
but i can report here, there were lots of beautiful women, in beautiful/sexy dresses to admire throughout the night..
great part of the fun, seeing everyone dressed up, with the men all very handsome, the women with their hair done, extra make-up, pretty outfits, shoes, and jewelry
and i got to see/visit with lots of people i've come to know over the past several years.. several parents from the kids schools and/or activities, former neighbors, other restaurant owners i've come to know, oh, look my ex-husband.. dan/teresa.. people from my writing circles, church circles, arts/crafts circles..
and that's write! jim & pam ... jim ott.. met him for the first time here -carr america center- during the poetry/prose/art festival.. and billy collins.. it's a lucky place i think
and many, many, people i met for the very first time, but know i will see again soon at amelia's.. because everyone ~ everyone ~ was falling in love with chef steve's bacon wrapped shrimp with cayenne pepper sauce
there was never a time steve and shawn were not refilling their pans with more bacon wrapped shrimp.. the aroma.. the sound of the skillet.. the hot, enticing, delicious shrimp, all red n' pink and sizzlin' fresh from the skillet.. that addictive spicy, cajun flavor..
seems like the fresh cooked batches would disappear quicker than our two star chef's could cook 'em -and our table was never without a line..
"we voted for you.. " or "where do we vote for you?" -heard this a lot, because not only was this a fundraiser for the schools, but a competition among the chef's and restaurants.
-somewhere, and i'm not sure where.. guests were invited to vote for their favorite appetizer, dessert.. favorite culinary team.. in the silent auction area i believe..
i was pretty sure we had it locked in, but when she announced the winners at 8:45..
amelia's wasn't mentioned. i felt so bad for chef, but he shook it off quick. - she, by the way, was heather quarterman, from kkiq -our local hometown station-
and i loved getting the opportunity to meet and talk with her for a while.. put face/name/voice all together for the first time, - and heather (if she does not mind me saying so.. ) is the very definition of eye-candy.
a beautiful, vibrant blond, with great style and confidence.. completely approachable/adorable, and fun to talk with
and i enjoyed learning she grew up here.. in livermore.. spent some time in journalism.. television, i think.. yes, -intended at first to be a weather girl - lived in san diego.. and by way of many different happenstances, found radio to be the perfect fit.. and is back home, in the tri valley, doing what she loves, and what it sure seems she is meant to do.. -and how cool is that.. to be a personality on the radio station you listened to growing up..
i talked with her in more length than with others, because she is experiencing, to a degree, a taste of what i believe might be ahead for me.. and we talked a little about that.. being recognized.. having people like/dislike you.. she told me she has not been recognized by her voice in stores or other public places, which surprised me, and she followed that by saying, "but i bask in my anonymity"
and it does seem pretty plush.. to be on the radio where it's your voice vs. your face out in the public arena
like with church, i do feel myself with one foot in, one foot out of my ambition to become a famous american writer.. because it is pretty awesome write now, to write what i want, when i want, how i want.. not answering to anyone, not meeting deadlines, or worse.. certain expectations, or to reach a specific audience population; with no book sale quotas to worry about
should i mess with this great freedom? i suppose if i could earn a living another way.. and keep writing like this, i would..
but can't figure out how to earn a living another way.. come to think of it.. i haven't figured out how to earn a living this way..
[skip depression dip, continue on.. ]
where was i? have i mentioned there is live music being played.. gorgeous music.. a tremendous flautist is standing out in my memory.. and that the whole place was decorated so beautifully.. with colorful fall leave decor all around.. glass sculptures filled with wine corks, ribbon, and more ribbon around each table, candles, table confetti, pumpkins.. gorgeous fall centerpieces sparkling everywhere
and it is circular, two-tiers of table after table, with every kind of gourmet appetizer you can think of being prepared before your eyes by all the great local restaurants and star chef's, and a different wine being poured from every table..
i'm not going to retype the menu, but hope i can link it here so you can see how amazing..
and did i mention we are surrounded by huge windows, so behind the scenes of all the lovely, festive people, the live cooking, the wine pouring.. the socializing.. the sky slowly darkens into a moonlit october night
it was an unbelievably wonderful, gorgeous/beautiful, ultra-fun, went-by-too-fast kind of night.
colleen and shawn left around 9:30, i think, so were unfortunatley not there for the surprise good news & extra happy ending
and -almost- neither was i.
i was busy helping chef steve pack things up and carry them to his truck. this time it was his turn to sit in his truck and listen to music while i brought things back n' forth
and i made two trips, with boxes and papers and menus.. but had seen a portable fire hydrant under the table. wasn't sure if each table was provided one for safety, or if it belong to chef..
which it did. so third and final trip back in to get chef's fire hydrant, just exactly as i'm walking through the glass entry doors, i hear heather quarterman on the mic again
"and the people's choice award goes to AMELIA'S.."
i was so happy and disappointed at the same time.. there was no colleen, or shawn, or chef steve to hear it with me..
so i hussled out, and soon as i was within shoutin' distance, hollered out to steve the good news..
then quick gave gita a call to share the good news -on her recorder-
and i'm not sure what goes along with this award.. a plaque? a prize? an announcement on the radio? the website?
but.. it sure was the perfect happy ending to an already great night to see the look on chef's face when i told him..
and i have no doubt, our "live chef" time at amelia's, where he prepares gourmet appeitizers while you watch, sip wine.. beer.. visit.. is going to grow in popularity and become the people's choice for friday nights too..
4:30-7:30p
"cheers & congratulations to you chef steve! to gita/vinit! to everyone at amelia's!
pleasure meeting you colleen & shawn
and thank you to everyone at p.p.i.e. who contributed to this spectacular event!"
RE: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA FIRES by (cc!)
this email from my cousin cc, is so amazing, beautifully written, and layered with life lessons, i asked if i could post it here on my blog
we are thrilled they are okay.. and in prayer for their friends & neighbors
Dear Family and Friends,
We want to thank everyone for your prayers, support, and encouragement during our 'fire storm'. We appreciate your calls and texts and emails! I know some of you kept in touch through my mom! Thanks mom for all your help too! Praise be to God - we are safe! Our house is untouched, although we weren't sure for awhile there. My neighbors down the street lost their homes. It is an unbelievable sight. I know you probably saw it on TV, but when it is your good friends' homes and JUST down the street it is more unbelievable. Many of you have been to my house. As you drive up San Antonio Rd. (the main street to my house) you will be shocked at the sight. Every other house is burned to the ground. (4 of them on your right). On the left hand side, many of the houses burned down up on the hill and in the cove (about 7 of them). There are many that burned throughout the development that you can only see if you drive through those streets. It is such a strange sight to see a house burned to the ground with a house on each side of it that is untouched.
The beautiful hills in the back of my house are burned all around us. It is amazing to think that our house didn't burn. The fire blew through us and into the development below. Our development is relatively new and had MANY fire requirements they had to fulfill. Boy, are we thankful now! Probably the thing that saved our houses the most was (besides God) the closed eaves. We don't have exposed wood on our houses. We also have a very thick line of 'maintained' landscaping all around us that saved us. The sprinklers (many of them) came on automatically with the heat and such. We also have pretty strict landscaping codes, which is annoying when you are trying to get things to pass, but is not so annoying now! We are very grateful!
Our kiddos were very scared. They were both curled up in fetal position on the floor of my car just crying to leave. I felt we still had some time since the fire department, nor police had come through yet. Once I felt the heat on my back and embers flying through the air like a snow storm I realized the trucks weren't coming and we'd better go! I couldn't go down San Antonio (toward Y.L. Blvd) because I could see the fire already reached the houses down there and they were ablaze! I had to go up San Antonio only to reach traffic. Mostly from looky-loos taking pictures. Well, the fire spread over the ridge back there pretty quickly too (as there were 50-60 mile per hour winds) and everyone was scrambling to get out.
When we saw the fire that morning I decided to have the kids pack a suitcase and I threw a few things I thought were important in the car - just in case (like passports, purse, phone, insurance etc). It is amazing, though, how your 'things' are put into a real perspective when you are scrambling to get out. Of course the kids were packed first! I had told them to pack a suitcase with the things that meant the most to them. Summer packed "Sherbert" (her bear she has slept with forever) and her American Girl Doll and some assorted things. Rhys packed his tortoise, his dog 'Barky' (that he sleeps with) and his underwear. I laughed so hard I cried. Then I packed "them" into the car!!!!!
Then as the fire seemed to get closer and the winds crazier, I started packing albums, the quilts Charlotte made us, and more papers I thought were important and had Dan start unhooking our computer and our back-up hard drive. THEN as the fire came sprawling across the hill I didn't really care anymore. I just wanted to make sure we all had a coat and I grabbed those and anything I passed and could carry along the way to my car. I made sure I had my phone books too! I don't know why I felt the need to grab the kids back packs and homework. I just did!
Anyway, thankfully, I am putting all those things away in my beautiful home. I am so sad for my friends though. One of my friends won't even go to her home. The other just smiled as we all hugged her and her husband and she was so thankful for all the support of her neighbors. They took nothing! She didn't even have her purse. She was so overwhelmed trying to figure out what to take that she took nothing. She also didn't really think her house would burn down to the ground.
Anyway, I just felt like expressing my thoughts and 'our' thanks for your support!
I am going to send some pictures in my next email!
~CC, Dan, Summer and Rhys!
Sex Rocks by (me!) ~tops! #IWA #aldenlane @writeousmom
in between customers,
that is, in between providing outstanding customer service at the register for our cherished guests,
sometimes there is a brief
~lull.
this is actually the exception and not the rule, these ~lulls, because the majority of the time we have projects which keep us productive in between each and every customer
and whether the in between is .30 seconds, or 3 minutes, we do usually have something constructive to do
i.e., process phone orders for gift cards, or price products for the gift stores, or water plants, or clean and sweep, or fluff up/restock merchandise areas where products have sold
and we are instructed and expected to call the accessories department and proactively ask for projects, if we have none
what happen on this day, is that when i called with my usual request,
"do you have any projects to help keep me out of trouble?"\
the answer was no.
so i looked at my co-worker, and i said with a smile,
i said, "looks like i'll be getting into trouble today"
and, sure enough.. i was providing outstanding customer service to one customer after another...
addressing them gregariously by name, genuinely complimenting something they were wearing, or the choice of their flowers and plants, engaging in brief but meaningful mini-conversations, sharing the exciting news about the savings from their loyalty points, giving lavendar sachets and a warm welcome to any first time customers, quickly organizing their products/plants in boxes, grabbing carts, getting help for larger orders...
but then there was this ~lull
and i looked at all the gravel on the ground write in front of me.. wouldn't those rocks be fun to draw and shape~shift..
and then, -look at that perfect and pretty riser.. what a great background!
and so i grabbed two fists full of gravel.. and i grabbed the pretty riser, and i placed them in my kiosk
now, in between providing excellent customer service, what i did was...
-and, but i wasn't quite done when the General Manager Cyndee walked into my kiosk
everyone who has ever worked anywhere for any amount of time KNOWS!
General Managers never walk by, or even come near you when you are exceeding their highest work standards
there is some unnatural law of management which dictates that GM's only appear in that in-between ~lull time
and, as testimony to this law,
it was sometime after I warmly welcomed a new guest and so quickly boxed two carts worth of 4" inch vegetables, annuals, perennials, 1 gallon shrubs, soaps, ornaments, chimes and scarves, -but it was also before I fetched and cleaned some more carts, that the GM, Cyndee entered my kiosks with some paper in her hands
so what she saw when she walked in my kiosk was this:
and so i looked at my rock art...and back at Cyndee..
at Cyndee.. and back at my rock art...
"it only says that because i'm not done yet..."
and she said, "do you know how to process paypal orders? it looks like you might need a project."
and, i've worked their 4+ years now, so
i said with a smile, i said,
"not only do i know how to process paypal orders, i consider myself an expert."
and i accepted the papers from her hand.
and i processed the paypal orders in between providing outstanding customer service at the register
and
after i processed the paypal orders and in between the customer service
i created these:
and i am just wildly grateful for the quality of our phone cameras! i mean, look at these pictures..!
it's only some gravel rocks on a wooden riser with metal legs, and i think the heart one especially belongs on the cover of a magazine or card; it's so beautiful to me.
-fun to see also, you can sure tell what i have on my mind..
and i couldn't wait to get home to my sexy and share the sex rocks story over a delicious and wonderful pot roast, mash potato dinner.
"a toast.. to spontaneous & temporary art! and the pictures that preserve them!"
"cheers! & amen!"
What trauma, victory & peace have in common by (me!) ~topps
.. all can be passed on to off spring...
fresh off watching, PBS, Your Brain, Who's In Control, season 50, episode 10.
-most grateful it answered a question about how trauma gets passed from one generation to the next. i remember the first time someone shared this with me
my initial reaction, was -honey, they are teaching you a bunch of BS.. /which i thought to myself, but did not share out loud
how could a trauma (PTSD) be passed on -biologically? i understand, responses/behaviors could be passed on,
i.e., grandparent experienced trauma of losing a loved one to a car accident which involved a drunk driver
parents were raised with hyper awareness surrounding drinking/driving.. and they raised their children with the same concerns, which influences decisions/behaviors.. -not genes; write?
but, a biological, -dna- gene change resulting from trauma carried forward to the next generation? i doubted it.. oh my goodness did i pass PTSD on to my double blessings? let this knowledge increase the prison sentence for predators! criminals! evil-doers!
-also, what do we make of people, passed child bearing age, who will never have off-spring.. what about these trauma survivors..
anyway,
in this episode, bianca jones marlin, PhD, columbia university explains in a way that i can understand.
'trauma changes the way genes activate in the body and in the brain'
giving a synopsis here:
she studies mice. she creates a shock which is permanently associated with the smell of almond for the given mice.
smell almond/shock.. trauma. repeat.
what she noticed and observed, is that this resulted in a GROWTH of new cells in the noses of the mice; it created (gave birth to) more cells dedicated to the smell of almonds. (receptor cells, expressing..)
let me make up numbers: prior to the almond/shock implementation - 50 cells which responded to the smell of almond
after (?) number of smell almond/get shocked experiences.. -100 cells which now respond..
and most importantly,
she observed that the off spring of these mice, were born with a higher number of cells dedicated to the smell of almonds
it did get passed to the next generation. ( i clearly understand this! thank you!)
she went on to say, -to sum up what has been learned
'there is memory which is maintained in sperm; in egg; in implantation and then represented in off spring' and 'it is as if we are observing a change in evolution over the time span of one generation'
and 'i think that's fascinating'
******
i experienced a great deal of pretty severe trauma in my youth; multiple traumas
there is no itemizing how many new cells my experiences gave birth to! -that would be awesome to have only one.. almond/shock
that is so manageable..
And God only knows, what extra receptor cells expressing fear/paralysis/hypervigilance, i genetically passed on to my off-spring as a result
but i'd like to focus on this: that what is true of trauma, is also true of peace, faith, love
look what has happened in just one generation when it comes to joel osteen, and/or joyce meyer
let's take joel osteen.. his father, born into dysfunction/poverty, was the first in his family to give his life to Christ at age 17..
he dedicated his life to ministry.. i believe many more Jesus receptor cells were created, which made an association between Jesus, as Lord & Savior and peace and love and a victorious life -many more cells growing.. (also saying, this is important)
obviously! this was passed on to his off spring
look at joel osteen in the compaq center. you can do the same science and math with joyce meyer, -look what happened in just one generation..! no one with faith, generations of incest and dysfunction, and she gave her life to Jesus, -the chainbreaker, pain taker, way maker..
and in just one generation.. today all four of her children also serve the ministry
***
and my own personal testimony, life story, is pretty compelling
without bullet pointing, rehashing all the traumas, i'm going to point this out
prior to having children, a son, a daughter, -tons of trauma; severe PTSD
i have been cultivating a relationship with Jesus for many, many years now -through prayer, through Bible teachers, through reading the Bible, through articles, etc.
there was still another trauma to experience/process/handle, after my children were grown.. so, i'm not concerned about passing it to the next generation
what astonishes me, is that, i know some adults now, who are participating in grief counseling
that doesn't astonish me,
what does, is that, i have zero need or desire for trauma therapy, for counseling, for medicine, for outside help..
when robert's sister was violently murdered in 2019.. especially if you consider that i had PTSD, earlier on, which would increase my risk for..
but, i had so cultivated a relationship with Jesus by this time..
and i credit exclusively, my Christianity, as the reason i coped so well, and continue to..
i wish i had before & after xrays of my inner-self, my mind, my heart, my spirit,
prior to being kidnapped/raped; prior to having a gun at my temple; prior to the bank robbery..
renewing my mind daily.. becoming a new creature.. experiencing peace beyond human understanding.. becoming more than a conqueror.. living to experience 'due season'
living a victorious life..
long list.
my life experiences inspire me to share that beginning and cultivating a relationship with Jesus; becoming a believer; a Christian; walking in love; fighting the good fight of faith..
finding and remaining on the narrow path..
i would only encourage this -have you experienced trauma? are you the innocent child of someone(s) who experienced trauma and passed it on to you?
Let Jesus get a hold of you. Get a hold of Jesus. Let Jesus be your invisible BFF
****
as a result of my life experiences; observations; studies, etc.
i think re-living traumatic events in controlled environments to help desensitize an individual, or 'heal' them
is the most stupid, counter-productive practice ever; it is a dangerous way to treat trauma and causes further damage.
-dilute trauma; do not engrave it.
****
worth study: holocaust survivors; their off spring; any families (members) who gave their life to Jesus; increased their peace cells; love cells; -and passed this on to the next generation
Jesus is like the opposite of trauma. Jesus is the antidote
****
we are flesh and spirit
our brain (flesh) -there is no end to how you can trick it; tease it; challenge it.. provide optical illusions; puzzles.. false/positives..
when the motive is to learn, understand, help, serve, aid, cross-train, educate, enlighten; -all good.
when the motive is to undermine; manipulate, deceive/trick with ill intention; create unnecessary doubt & insecurities; -no good.
***
we are flesh and spirit
our bodies (flesh) -i am so grateful to see the advances in medicine & science; specifically, by learning about the connection between the brain and motor skills and touch sensory
today, doctors can take a person who has had a stroke and lost 'feeling' in a hand, a leg..
and by some pretty remarkable achievements in surgery, they can (layperson vocabulary here..) they can insert and adjust and fix the connection between the brain and hand, for example
so, now the person can actually 'feel' the book in their hand, and also, can use their mind + computer to ask their hand to pick up the book, and use motor skills they lost due to the stroke
this is remarkable! awesome! wonderful! (it's flesh) -keep going..
and A.I. is also making remarkable achievements!
my goodness, A.I. can carry on a conversation, give advice, create new recipes, write poetry, songs...
-what robots can do.. what computers can do..
they can 'feel' and process and respond to texture
-but, it would be when an A.I. manifestation, feels insecure; feels peaceful/content; feels inspired (not programmed to..
autonomously -moved to tears and laughter (not programmed to....) internally experiences awe...
when an A.I. manifestation, is motivated by love to keep going, in the face of great exhaustion..
when A.I. has its feelings hurt, and needs to forgive others and/or itself..
****
every advance increases my awe & appreciation of the human being as a true masterpiece.
in Jesus name, hallelujah & amen.
****
add on.. really not so new, this information.. eric kandel, had prior shared..
ALL repeat experiences (traumatic, mundane, joyful) increase cells dedicated to...
which is why, for example, a food taste tester's taste bud cells will increase with time/experience..
why, i probably only had 2 paper-loving cells, but i worked with this paper, that paper, over and over, and i'm certain i grew additional paper-aware-receptors, i became much more savvy about identifying different papers with my eyes closed..
it is my belief and understanding, that while the 'trauma gets passed to off spring' was explained well,
-it's just not exclusive to trauma
we know this already, don't we.. new cell growth throughout your entire life, and repetition of specific experiences will result in increases of that dedicated responsive/expressive cell, specifically.
more later,
amen.
keep it real. a poem for the 21st century. by (me!) sandra, tvgp
real vision planted in the soil of your imaginative mind
water it. nurture it. but first.. you must find.
i love waking up, "thank you!" Jesus..
my eyes sweep the room, with such gratitude..
pictures of people i love; pretty décor above dresser drawers
books, and beautiful fabric on my bed, pillows, and papers, things people have made
people have said
my eyes re-sweep the room, with such gratitude..
sculptures, and lotions, and boxes and phone..
the miracle that i get to call this my home..
for a while, i will call this place home. family love; -from which ive grown..
God is love; and heavens home..
REMEMBER?
re-sweep, re-sweep this room.. with my eyes,
and something happens
when i sweep ALIVE.. something happens, when my eyes sweep green
-this living, growing, breathing thing..
my life attracts to life, i see -and the real in life; the mystery!
now, look around yourself and see...
the digital, the material, the real: to be or not to be.. search for life, sweep for green..
go interact with a living thing.
now stop.
***
put three buildings side by side. i'll describe for you what's inside:
in the first one, only things ALIVE! things that breathe; things that die...
living, growing, breathing things.. the 'real' the 'true' that makes heart sing..
in building two -we part fake you,
with things from a distance, which look alive; but were made, in fact, to deceive your mind
"is that flower ... real?" -what a deal! but how do you know
until you TOUCH & FEEL.. now imagine yourself in a world, where
nothing actually is; but only looks real. -how does that make you FEEL?
everything in it collects dust; none of it collects memories you cant always trust
and speaking of the unreliable nature of our memories.. that's the perfect Segway to building three:
building three is empty.
-save that pair of goggles you place on your head.. to enter a virtual world instead
where, now..
when you go to touch and feel.. you're still not sure "what's real?"
immersed in a fine art man-made land; where your real mind is highjacked by a virtual hand
anywhere you want to they want you to...
to preprogrammed worlds in..
brain-game lands. -where nothing ever
really breathes. nothing
really dies
but things in there appear so real; you
really laugh and cry /know what i mean?
-you are not faking your reactions; to the real virtual attractions..
/or are you?
what, where... is the truth?
for a while, i will call this place home. family love; -from which ive grown..
God is love; and heavens home..
REMEMBER?
and now, what if you were trapped in building three; stuck with goggles on
virtual world -upon your death.. the virtual world goes on..
what if you were stuck in building two -where you are the only living thing?
could the fake silk flowers and rubber trees.. still make a caged bird sing?
i use my imagination to help me see.. i use it; it does not use me..
~there is
something of the awesome between real living things
~there is more to real, and truth and love, and life and death, for me..
there is
something so very miraculous in our very real but faulty memories
and you:
YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING!
for a while, i will call this place home. family love; -from which ive grown..
God is love; and heavens home..
I REMEMBER.
re-sweep, re-sweep this room.. with my eyes,
and something happens
when i sweep ALIVE.. something happens, when my eyes sweep green
-this living, growing, breathing thing..
my life attracts to life, i see -and the real in life; trust the mystery!
for a while, you will call earth home. there is real life and real love; you need to know.
GOD is LOVE. HEAVEN'S HOME.
REMEMBER.
Maria makes a Mag Time Frame! with (me!) ~sandra. in studio 213
Maria is a big Frida Kahlo fan... and so, we let Frida serve as our inspiration, and picked out papers accordingly. -Had the pleasure of creating a reversible Mag Time Frame.. so, the back, has this flower border, but with a blank area so she can maybe place a Frida quote, or inspirational message at a later date...
the front has beautiful flowery paper background, with complementary purple paper, hint of solid white to help the frame pop.. then! she cut individual flowers out from the left over paper, and adhered those to the magnets which will hold the pictures in place.. and!
i also sent her home with four bottle cap magnets, and four images of frida to place on them..
" -how more versatile does it get?" i said with a smile "you can mix n' match the magnets... you can display your pictures horizontal or vertical.. update them super easy... you can flip the frame over for an entirely different design..."
and it is always my great pleasure to introduce fellow arts & crafters to my xyron machines.. "a must have!" -for all creatives
and my beautiful maria artist friend.. she introduced me to her cricut machine.. incredibly portable, this creative tool.. we set up an extra table in my studio, and she just sat her cricut and a laptop on top, and pretty quickly, we had an entirely custom iron-on transfer created for a t-shirt -just like that!
and then i introduced her to canva.com...
and let me say this for the 2021 record -there has never been a better time in all of human history to be a creative!
the tools available today! the resources! -incredible
In Jesus' ultimate creative name, hallelujah & amen!
* i have heard many pastors over the years say -God creates; the only true original. The devil can only copy...
THE FAKE TOW TRUCK CAR STEALING OPERATION by (me!) sandra, tvgp
i did hear a loud pop; but i made a mental excuse for it.
and then i heard a hissing sound.. the exact same sound as when my car tire rolled over broken glass some ten years ago, and was going flat
but i made a mental excuse for the hissing too, and just kept going. gave the kind man at the gas station my bankcard and filled the tank.
only the hissing sound got a little louder, and my son said, "where is that sound coming from anyway?" -forcing me to take a closer look and listen.
"nope. it's not gas going through the pumps.. i wonder what it is?" -and i leaned in toward each tire on my hybrid, until
"FOUND IT! hey kids.. you might want to call your friend and tell her we're gonna be a little while."
apparently i had driven over some large chunk of very sharp metal debris left by a construction truck or something. there it was.. this big chunk of mysterious sharp silver sticking 2 inches in and 2 inches out of my driver side front tire creating a hisssss sound the likes of a dozen snakes in heat or hungry. (or angry? whatever makes them make that sound..)
and i had four kids in tow. four kids all anxious to get to the mall and spend some hard earned cash. "now what?" my daughter cries, all put out of shape, "how long is
this going to take?"
and i said.. "don't know sweetie.. could be hours, could be days, could be weeks. hard to tell write now. but i tell you this.. far as flat tires go, couldn't happen on a nicer day or in a nicer place."
and that's the truth. my truck was safely stuck at the beautiful, historical coast gas station on main street in downtown pleasanton. so my daughter and her 2 friends were free to walk around and shop, and my son and i sat on a bench outside of sincerely yours gift store with a couple fresh hot slices of vegetarian from new york pizza across the street.
sit, eat, walk, shop. -and "help is on the way!"
the saturn vue hybrid does not come with a spare tire, but i do have road-side service, and after yelling "flat tire. flat tire!
FLAT TIRE!
FLAT TIRE!" into the computerized recorder twenty times, a real human being answered my call and sent a tow truck our way.
that's when things got interesting. scary~interesting.
my daughter and her friends thought the whole thing was quite fascinating and clicked away pictures with their phone cameras, and created mini-videos with their flip video camera thingies, but i kept feeling nervous
there was somethin' not write.. about the tow truck driver. but i couldn't name it. he looked professional enough.. he seemed to know what he was doin' -but there was no paper work involved; none. zero.
he didn't ask my name, for my drivers license, he didn't ask for me to sign anything. -just loaded my truck on his tow truck, explained how he couldn't fit all of us, and asked where my truck should go.
"the saturn dealership in dublin," i told him.
and he just kind of stared at me.
"do you know where that is?" i asked him
"no," he says, all mysterious. "i don't usually work this area"
"well, do you want me to tell you how to get there?" i ask
"no. i'll find it."
and we were eye to eye.. but it all seemed so strange. "don't you need me to sign anything?"
"no." -all mysterious again.
and before i could say much more, he had his engine running and was ready to go. so i gave some directions anyway as he drove off
watched my sweet, precious little black hybrid disappear down main street with a complete stranger. and no paper work.
my car is being stolen.
write now! i thought.
it's being stolen.
that man has just taken my car to who knows where.. he's probably on the freeway by now, then he's going to tuck it in some big garage where they repaint, change the license plates.. that kind of thingi just got swamboozled! -and what an idiot i'm going to sound like when the police start asking me questions
"well didn't you suspect something when he didn't ask for your license?"
"no sir.. well, kinda.. i did.. i did. but it seemed like i should trust him. he was in a big yellow tow truck"
"well didn't you suspect something when he didn't ask you to sign some papers?"
"no sir. well, yes.. i was nervous a little bit.. but he had a uniform form on officer! and that big yellow tow truck.. he seemed legit"
and i imagined the look on the officers face as he looked at me with pity and disbelief -how could you have missed that?! he's thinking
meanwhile.. a real phone call comes in. it's the dispatcher following up on my call for help. she says, "the tow truck driver should be there in about 18 to 20 minutes"
and this is when I KNOW for sure my beautiful black hybrid has been stolen by a fake tow truck driver in a fake tow truck driver shirt. oh my God.
in a high pitch, nervous whisper i say, "he was already here?."
and she responded pretty cool about the whole thing, she said, "okay.. that's faster than we thought, just wanted to make sure service arrived" -or something like that. -and then i knew she was in on it too.
some savvy criminal mastermind messed with the phone lines.. made service calls go to a different number.. had a fake tow truck, fake tow truck driver and a garage with a pit crew of criminals waiting to kick into action
i just got screwed by an incredible car-stealing operation and so now what? now what?
i called saturn. "hey.. can you guys do me a favor and call me when my truck arrives. -and can you let me know how long before the shuttle guy gets here.."
and the saturn shuttle guy.. jeremy. the man who was supposed to pick us up and get us to the saturn dealership. -he was taken his sweet, sweet, time. claimed the other shuttle guy got laid off.. "i'm the only one," he tells me, "i can pick you up after i finish my lunch"
"after you finish your lunch!" i don't say, "my truck is 60 miles down the 680 by now!" i don't say either.
how many people are in on this anyway?because in the streets i come from, jeremy is obviously the ring leader. -my mind goes back to the gym i once belonged to.. yeah. it looked like a gym. acted like a gym. took your cash for membership like a gym. -let you take a few step classes like a gym, but then;
gone. just like that.
the whole gym was gone! wednesday people were on the bikes, and the treadmill machines, i was dancin' to my hearts content in the step class with some 20 others, and then thursday
"why won't the doors open?" -and i leaned in to get a better look through the glass windows and the
en-tire place was empty. nothin' but ripped up carpet, and not much of that.
they up and ran with everyone's membership money! the whole gym just disappeared! -and after the shock of it, came the amazement: how could anyone lift and move all that equipment over night? how many were there? how clever.
anyway.. they never found 'em, the gym money thieves. no one got any money back; just another one of those tough life lessons. -and based on the amazing feat of those criminals, a fake tow truck car stealing operation seemed like,
why notand so i prepared for the worse when jeremy finally arrived. -and i told him how nervous i was.. that my imagination was getting away from me
and my only little bit of hope came from how he laughed at my story. but that was it. he laughed a little. he didn't, i must point out, say anything like -
that could never happen.
"hey girls," i hollered to the back seats, "did you get the tow truck driver and the tow truck on your flip video camera thing?"
and they did. -so at the very least, i would have pictures for the police officers.
but THANK GOD i didn't need pictures, videos or eye-witness testimony, because just shy of arriving at the saturn dealership they called me to confirm my truck had arrived.
and there she was, all shiny, black and beautiful, just as i had last seen her..
the girls.. my daughter and her two friends.. they took this time at the dealership to pose and model in the various convertibles and take lots of pictures
hit up the vending machines for candy.. chit chat.. text each other, antagonize jack, the outnumbered boy.
i, meanwhile learn, that the tire my truck needs is not in stock, will have to be ordered, and therefore a rent-a-car must be ordered. -and they were about to give me the old song and dance from service days past.. about how they don't have any saturns .. "they all went out this morning.." -so i'd end up with a puny, smokey smelling, used steel box on wheels from an outsourced rental company
i said, "you said that last time.. that's the same story i heard before"
and so, to his credit, he hopped on the phone to the dealership write next door. -and after some basic paper work, i left with one very happy boy and three middle school girls all giggling, screaming and snapping pictures in our new black H3 hummer.
polar opposite in every way but color from my little saturn hybrid.
"turn up the music mommy!" "roll down the windows!" "don't you love it!"
and i said,
"turn down the music! roll up the windows! everyone be quiet and very still. i have to concentrate!" -and i real careful adjusted the sideview mirrors; real careful adjusted the rearview mirror. tried my best to acclimate to all the buttons and knobs
and i tried to pull out, but it looked like i might take the front off of another hummer in the lot, so i had jack get out and help me navigate. then another man came over to help me manuever out.. and then with a little turn here, and a tiny bit of gas there
i went up over a curb but otherwise got us out safely.
and we were three hours late, but we picked up the third friend still patiently waiting and made our way to stoneridge mall for the president's day sales.
"mommy! you have to pick me up from school in this!" my daughter shouts
"you are not the car you drive!" i said. -and i tried to recite my own poem which would have been quite impressive and perfect in the moment; but that was the only line i could remember
besides.. ever~green, beloved. -so i just gave up.
it was really fun to see them all so excited. -made the whole flat tire and my over-active imagination a strange type of blessing.
adventure & pictures for them; story for writeous mom.
and the way it ends.. is like this:
the very next day, i returned the hummer, kissed my hybrid and felt all write with the world again.
the end.
National Day of Awe & Appreciation by (me!) sandra, tvgp
OKAY;
BOOMERS
have got somethin' very important to say!
***
pay attention you youngins'
***
so, if you asked globally, /I don't know exactly how many years ago, but more than several
;and if you asked..
and it almost didn't matter who you asked when it comes to age, race, political affiliation, sexual orientation, economic status, faith system... favorite tv show.. ice cream, etc.
because EVERYONE was answering the same question
like, almost 100%
the same way.
and the ANSWER was
"PICTURES!"
and the question was..
if there was a fire in your home, and you could only grab...
what would be the most important? (after people/pets, of course)
***
AND so pause to factor that in.. i'll spare you the 13 page essay on why pictures,
family pictures, friends, weddings, bdays, etc. are as important to humans as they are
but just stop to pause and acknowledge, HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO
ALL PEOPLE
and, so,
well, who exactly? when exactly? on what date and time did someone(s)
create the CLOUD?
because, for the gazillion of people who now get to put their vital pictures in a cloud storage of some kind..
if there home caught on fire... and after people/pets, they could grab only one thing..
the point im trying to make is this:
it is A VERY BIG DEAL FOR GAZILLIONS OF PEOPLE that this storage innovation exists!
and, in my imagination.. im like..
I don't understand why we don't have a national day of awe & appreciation
where everyone is encouraged to join together for a day and just..
just celebrate these monumental life enhancers; and dance around the street, and have a parade, and make a big deal about it the way we did the Warriors World Championship.
I asked my children recently.. when did we all stop to celebrate cloud storage?
we seem to just keep skipping past the awe and appreciation and on to the next thing..
like, nothing is any big deal. but I promise you, as a person born in 1966
this digital photo storage thing IS A VERY BIG DEAL! -both the digital aspect and the storage aspect
especially as I continue during this current covid 19 lockdown to go through my boxes and boxes of print photos from my own, and my other family members lives..
my children will not cart physical pictures from this location to that location..
and im pretty sure, even the pictures I pass on to them, will be digitized and originals will get tossed.
so, anyway..
in my imagination we should have a common day, where everyone around the world celebrates an innovation, or problem solved.. big or small, a few or several..
each student in school on this day, shares about something they are grateful for
each person working stops to share and recognize a technology or problem solved they are grateful for...
as thanksgiving day is to family & friends; awe & appreciation day is to things that improve our daily life
so, the picture thing.. digital/storage; that's a biggie!
but there are these things I come across everyday, that make me just stop and whisper "thank you!" and I literally never know exactly who I should thank.. but would love to..
couple smaller examples:
as you know I've moved over 30 times.. I've dealt w/countless cardboard boxes..
I was always getting tripped up, closing them.. like, which way exactly do I fold the four flaps so it stays closed without tape?
and now, I've come across several different WONDERFUL cardboard box designs that have made life much easier when it comes to cardboard boxes..
like some are literally labeled; each flaps has a number 1, 2, 3, 4.. instructing you how to fold
oh! the mercy of it all.. i'm so grateful
and some have these cuts/designs that fold and seal in a way that, no matter the weight of what is inside; you don't need tape; they kind of self-seal through folding patterns
awesome! "thank you!"
and, I don't know why it's not on the market yet, but.. if anyone can help
speaking of packaging tape.. write now everyone always struggles to find the new starting place once you've used a strip. the clear tape adheres back to itself, and is so camouflaged.. and then you have to run your fingers over and over... trying to tell by touch/feel, where you can start peeling again..
and what I do, /and what many people do, in similar ways,
is find something nearby, to stick to the end of the tape, so when it adheres back to itself..
like, this:
and so, doesn't it make sense, that maybe they should already have it with a string/device attached so the consumer doesn't have to make-shift something every time.
/you're welcome..
and then, another smaller than pictures/storage, but absolutely worthy of some awe & appreciation
label maker adhesive strip backing
in my youth, whenever I used these, you type your label,
autographed books -for example, and that part is in fact, easy
and you print it out, the machine has a self cutting thing, very helpful
but then after you have the label in your hand.. it would take like 3 to 5 or just give up minutes to remove the backing so you could adhere your label to your project
you had to be very patient trying to separate the label from the disposable backing.. it could only be done from one end or the other.. and, if you put your fingernail, just write.. just between, and
and inevitably, just when you thought you could separate label from the back; folding it this way and that.. yes you have it! whoops, no you don't! then you would realize all the effort crinkled up your label, and you have start all over
so, when I used a newer label maker, and I discovered that the backing has been designed to SOLVE THIS PROBLEM... by being pre-slit all the way down the center; horizontally!
-you just barely fold, and.. instantly you can pull off the label from the back, toss backing in the garbage and apply your sticky label..
well! -whoever you might be... "THANK YOU!"
and as ive mentioned before, I was never once curious about, or taught.. in my youth, about HOW a NATIONAL HOLIDAY gets officially placed on a calendar.. I just loved having days off from school! -but when I saw the documentary about HOW the Martin Luther King Jr Day became official.. the obstacle course; the time, the energy, the effort, -Stevie Wonder's Happy Bday Song.., etc., etc.
well, I do not have that kind of energy, determination, or calling on my life
/which is why God gifted me with this blog, you see..
because here I can just share what I would do IF I had the energy, determination and calling...
and,
i'm going to close this post here with great awe & appreciation for "MY STICKY NAILS!!"
ANOTHER BIG PROLEM SOLVED! for many, many, many people...!!
so, 1st we had what I will describe as 'regular nail polish' which took a long time to dry..
then we got -gel
which I have already described as the greatest manicure I will
never get again!
and, but..
now we have sticky nails! and it is real nail polish, easy to apply, already & immediately dry, last through showers, doing dishes, arts & crafts for 10 or more days!
and best part of all... easy to remove! no damage to my nails!
and if you see the picture of me praying at the top of this post: that is a French manicure I gave myself yesterday morning which took all of about 20 minutes.. no waiting for anything to dry and! I got two packs for $15
awe. & appreciation.
more later...
im off to sort through hundreds of print photos.. and thousands of papers
be well; God is with you,
amen.
