for fellow writers & human memory storage nerds -from (me!) ~sandra, topps, writeousmom
i recently posted about this and thought i was done. fellow writers will totally understand, that..
i've been waken throughout the night.. politely interrupted in and out of the day, and am write now just surrendering
like, okay! i hear you! fine.
'inextricably.'
i neglected to use this word apparently, and so, here:
my destiny is 'inextricably' tied to hostess.
there. now leave me alone.. i say with a smile.
****
human memory storage nerds: having blogged now nearly 20 years.. i can tell you, that i realize based on the above
'inextricably' is not a common word in my own personal vocabulary. in fact, if i search my own memory...
have i ever used it? in the past 20 years?
and i'm going to close here. place the word 'inextricably' in my search bar,
and if i'm correct. this post -is the only one that will show up
it will surprise me if there are more. -off to check my own memory.. be write back.
****
i was correct!
but i'm going to do an even deeper dive, and check within my 'unpublished' posts.. be write back.
****
correct again.
****
and, it's among the most intriguing mysteries.. over the years, especially, but not exclusively, as a writer
-the exact source of these 'promptings' -made more curious when it involves words/ideas/concepts that are not already familiar or common with me..
mostly i've just learned to honor them and say "thank you"
***
selah! hallelujah! & amen.
from the archives,
#vellumdays in progress...
#monterey
ACE up your sleeve? -sandra, writeousmom, topps
the vocabulary preachers/ministers use most often is this 'God placed on my heart... [insert thought/idea/message here]'
so i will borrow their vocabulary. this is a relatively new billboard near the corner of 10th and hedding in san jose. it captured my attention; i read it..
and then God placed on my heart: Recognize yourself? Recognize yourself!
expanded and with the proper tone, it was like -do you recognize yourself in this ad? a person who is living beyond adverse childhood experiences -then, recognize yourself! the accomplishments
and quick as a calculator can calculate 2+2, i laughed inside... like, 'adverse childhood experiences'
that's a little too soft...
way too soft..
but i get it. and part of me is grateful to not see the word trauma used.. the reason is because it was being severely over and incorrectly used; and i believe a high number of ill intentioned opportunists were preying on trauma victims for profit (not to genuinely heal them) -but i'll save that /although, i do not, not question the authenticity behind this billboard campaign
here is what i know: yes. you can live beyond adverse childhood experiences; this is a fact. i could be their poster adult and there are countless numbers of us, everywhere.. throughout the globe
here is what i also know: 'adversities' are hardly restricted to childhoods; they can be experienced all throughout life, from cradle to grave, as the saying goes
and i further know
everyone can live beyond adverse experiences; no matter your age
now, -i have not visited in depth, and have no desire for an indepth visit, to the website address provided on this giant billboard
my not-at-all-secret way for successfully living beyond traumas and adverse experiences at any age:
Prayer. Jesus. Prayer. The Bible. Prayer. Bible Teachers. Prayer. The Christian Life. Prayer. The narrow path
Rescued. Redeemed. Restored.
Selah! Hallelujah! & Amen!
****
separate but similar subject: i have come to know Jesus as
the chain-breaker; the pain-taker; the way maker
-and i know there are programs for 'children of alcoholics'
but when you have a 'chain-breaker' -who consciously breaks a dysfunctional chain/pattern in a family
-how are we recognizing and learning from them? children of chain-breakers
-curious.
i am both the child of a chain-breaker; and a chain-breaker myself..
so far; so blessed
selah! amen.
the sweetest comeback in the history of ever! for (me!) ~topps, writeousmom.com
there is a little convenience store inside the embassy suites in dorado, puerto rico. we did some snack shopping for our honeymoon suite, and it included the purchase of some hostess twinkies
-this inevitably brings up my every hostess related memory; and my hideous eating disorder in the aftermath of multiple traumas
that then connects to when hostess went out of business...
which then connects to when hostess returned
which then connects to my favorite slogan ever that accompanied the hostess return
'the sweetest comeback in the history of ever!'
i knew since that time, that my destiny is tied to hostess' destiny; it became a personal, spiritual goal of sorts
for (me!); having experienced so much back-to-back trauma; for (me!) having had the severest forms of PTSD..
for (me!) to have that same thing: and i posted a picture in my scrapbook, in my mind, in my heart.. and currently on my studio 213 door, of that slogan on hostess packaging
and it was while my sexy and i were in puerto rico,
having such a remarkable time, in such a gorgeous environment..
being in love, and loving each day, each cup of coffee, loving the view, loving the meals, loving the service, loving floating, loving creating indigenous word art on the beach, loving our family, loving our newest grandson -loving how i felt inside and outside; so happy & carefree..
loving the pool, loving the ocean, loving God and how he rescued, redeemed and restored me..
-factoring in our recent family visits, loving knowing/seeing our grown children thriving and making their way in the world; our siblings, nieces/nephews; our parents; our neighbor~friends
i said to my sexy, i said with a smile.. "i'm not waiting to one day have the sweetest comeback; i'm in it! -this IS it! -being here with you, retired, a tropical vacation of the best kind.."
so i marked the occasion; the realization; the epiphany, by writing in the sand on the shore, and having my picture taken holding twinkies..
before i unwrapped and ate the whole thing.
and then, just now, -because the number and type of traumas i have experienced and transcended are already very well, and perhaps, overly documented,
i just took 3 pieces of paper and layered them to further acknowledge with gratitude how far God has brought me
on the bottom layer: bullet points of major traumas
middle layer: items hanging on the front door of my studio 213
top layer: my not waiting for, but in it, 'experiencing it write now!' picture from the shore
so i know it can be done
but it has taken A LOT of collaborative work between Jesus and i...
and i have adopted spiritual practices which i am confident will aid me in maintaining the progress i've made so far; and maybe even exceed where i'm at..
God only knows. -write.
Hallelujah! Selah! Amen! Glory be to God!
"CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATES!!" SO PROUD OF YOU TWO! love uncle bob & aunt sandra
very proud and happy to report TWO more graduations in our family; a middle school graduate; and a high school graduate! ... against many significant obstacles!... persevered! on to the next goal...
you know how to succeed! -write.. you just keep going
-and, of course, -CH's to the poem i penned in 1980..
gives me the giggles to read it from age 58..
-for the record: i attended 3 different jr highs (today called middle schools); calaroga jr high, hayward, ca; bret harte jr high, hayward, graduating from bancroft jr high in san leandro, ca
without even closing my eyes.. i can still see the dress i wore, and the high heels i had to practice walking in to wear on that special day..
Glory be to God! xoxo
2 Corinthians 4:8
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed
Isaiah 40:31
BUT those who wait on the LORD shall RENEW THEIR STRENGTH; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Selah!
"floating without floaties!" in the atlantic (sexy! & topps!) in puerto rico
lots, LOTS! of pix, blessings, extraordinary experiences which i will post eventually, but TODAY:
i must share one of my all time coolest floating experiences. i have floated in pools, and had to kind of work at it.. take deep breaths; hold... and i could only float for short increments. i floated many, many, years ago, while snorkeling at molokini, but i had a floating device around my waist, which made it effortless
most recently, my sexy and i, floated on floaties, in the pool at petaluma koa campgrounds.. love floating!
but, this experience, in dorado puerto rico, at the beach outside the gates of embassy suites; this tops the charts for me personally
didn't know about it in advance; didn't plan for it; no one told us about it.. how it happened is like this:
we placed our chairs in the ocean, so that a large percentage of our bodies were under water, while our heads/faces remained up out of the water and we could talk and visit
but, i realized, in short time; in order to stay in the chair; i had to hold on to the chair
greatest sensation! was to let go of the chair, and then my hands and arms began floating on their own; then i let the water lift my legs, lift my entire body..
then i laid my head back, and my entire body was carried very slowly and very gently off by the gentle current
"i'm floating without a floatie! this is wild!"
and the best position it turns out; the most comfortable and relaxing, was after i copied my sexy, and folded my arms up, and placed my hands, fingers locked, beneath my head, in full relax mode; and i gently moved legs together so that my feet were touching side by side
then i closed my eyes and just floated... and floated... and "i'm still floating without a floatie!"
and because i kept my eyes closed, i had no actual idea which way i was headed... further out? left of chairs? and sometimes my entire body, i could tell, would move in half a circle counterclockwise..
oh! it is probably one of the best things for our entire minds, bodies, spirits, souls.. to feel utterly weightless, safe, free -surrendered to the whims of nature
of course i used this time to pray... floated without a floatie, with my eyes closed, just letting the sun shine on my face and body, the current carry me.. and itemized some old, some new (some borrowed, some blue); thank you prayers to Jesus
one time, what woke me out of my relaxed floating prayer state, was that my butt hit the sand near shore... then i would pop up in surprise and delight, like, oh! you brought me write back...
then i'd sit again on the chair in the water... holding on at first.. then, again,
let go
let the water lift my arms, hands, legs, body, -relax my head, and let the ocean take me again..
one time, i floated for i don't know how long exactly.. but heard my sexy laughing because the current took me for a slow, gentle ride and then literally brought me write back to the chair itself!
so, we made this a daily experience to encore during our stay: wake up in our honeymoon suite, some spiritual time; coffee on the patio that overlooked the ocean (a true ocean view!); then we'd head down for the complimentary breakfast embassy suites provides; welcomed by the beautiful smile of the hostess, myra; order custom omeletts, or fried eggs from Jorge, the rock star chef.. enjoy breakfast at a table overlooking the koi pond... return to our honeymoon suite to change into swimsuits and saturate ourselves in sunscreen..
head to the stunning pool(s), where my sexy had already saved some chairs, before we even had breakfast; and when the fun music started.. that meant it was 11am
and 11am meant
"pina coladas!" from the poolside bar & grill, called blue seahorse -by the 2nd/3rd day it seems, our favorite bartenders already greeted us with our favorite drinks and lunch
miguel would look from a distance, see us walking, and already get our pina colodas going...
samantha.. seeing that we each day, cut our bacon cheese burger in half to share.. she brought it to us already cut in half...
everywhere a 5 star staff; *5 star drinks; 5 star meals; 5 star service...
1 of our nights, we had an exceptional meal at the sushie restaurant which you can get to by just walking from the hotel across the street
2 nights, we enjoyed vanessa's stellar service at the hotel's restaurant and enjoyed one of our favorite dinners: steak & potatoes (plus.. onion rings..so good!);
and that was always after the 2 drink + snacks complimentary happy hours, which, one night, included a live music performance
and, because of the time of year, month we were there
i also loved the gorgeous gown fashion shows! -now let me share here.. they do not advertise fashion shows
but if you want to see an incredible spectrum of the most sparkling gorgeous gowns, while you dine over-looking the koi ponds; surrounded by beautifully, romantically lit columns; soft music in the background
and i mean, designer gowns! oscar gowns without the red carpet or movie stars; with every current design.. in such a variety of colors; styles..
visit during may/june when embassy suites dorado is THE hosting place for all the prom and ball events by the local schools
without planning for or requesting this.. turned out to add so much and enrich our experience
and this vacation for us; it was part early honeymoon for just the two of us; and part family visit, slash, fall-head-over-heels with our gorgeous newest grandson
-more soon- "Thank You Jesus!" hallelujah, "cheers!" & amen
driveway happy hour 2024; round two #vellumdays
bridges & key, poem for star-spangled honor bliss yard art 2024 by (me!) ~topps, sandra, writeousmom
legitimate reason to re-post my favorite earthquake memory! (me!) writeousmom
CH = Monday, July 09, 2012
3.7 EARTHQUAKE: EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED (me!) writeousmom
so, i happened across nova's,
hubble's amazing rescue, on pbs last night, and was glued within the first 3 minutes
i went downstairs -and even though i knew i didn't stand a chance against the new,
sonic the hedgehog, playstation 3 video game, i asked my son anyway
"wanna come watch this amazing show about the hubble with me?"
defeated, i went back upstairs. passed my daughter in the hallway bathroom trimming her own bangs
"wanna come watch this amazing show about the hubble with me?"
and you don't have to be a space-station engineer to figure out i ended up write back where i started: alone.
but i passed my sister on the solo journey back to my room. she was watching
babe with her daughter. i stuck my head inside the room and said,
"one day my children WILL watch pbs with me!" in a loud whisper. then carried on.
plopped myself back on the daybed and
KABOOM!
house shook back n' forth one big time, and next thing you know, both my kids are by my side.
we talked briefly about the earthquake -guessing its magnitude -what to do in the event of a larger/longer one...
but then,
there we were: all 3 of us snuggled together watching hubble's amazing rescue.
i glanced to the heavens with a silent thank you
and was glued again.
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