SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

CBS sunday morning CH's for (me!) ~tops

 just a couple fun ones:

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 1:34 PM 0 comments

MusicMix Collage by (me!) ~tops

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 7:55 AM 0 comments

The Heart Seen new, fresh, fun contributions...

     

 

 

 

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 9:45 AM 0 comments

" A First for both of us! " (sexy! & ~tops!)

and rented ourselves a couple paddle boards

LOVE THIS ACTIVITY!  and we were blessed with a particularly beautiful day..   calm waters, sunshine..

at least it started that way..

and we started out, as beginners do, on our knees...    sitting criss-cross...   and after about a 1/2 hour decided to give standing up a go..

and talk about awkward!  but slowly, awkwardly, perpetually shifting weight to avoid falling in the water..

"we did it!"     and my sexy is a natural athlete, and so, it came a little easier for him, than me..

and we stood and paddled across the lake..    i spying the wild-life, the birds, the squirrels in trees in the distance, the canada geese, "a coot!"  and the ducks..

and then we reached a turn around point, write about the same time the wind picked up..

and so, i was visually anchoring with a big tree and bush, and after 30 paddles or more, i realized i was not in front of, but still being blown backwards by the wind..

and sat down again (without falling in!) and could then really put my weight, energy and effort into moving this thing forward against the wind and the current.

loved every single second of this activity.

    -so for some things, we have a "one and done" saying...    glad we did it once, but we will never do it again.   -the drive to james lick observatory for example

we don't really have a cute, catchy saying for when we do something once, and can't wait to do it again.

but this is one of those experiences.

thank you Jesus!  what a gorgeous landscape God has created for our employment & enjoyment.  "thank you!"  amen.

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 10:46 AM 0 comments

Anniversaries of Traumatic Events re-processed by (me!) ~tops

common knowledge:  anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, miscellaneous milestone events   -all and more of these, shift the algorithm of our conscious memories, and the traumatic event gets temporarily placed back on top

the anniversary of cynthia's murder is near.

it is entirely unclear to me; i have no understanding of how/why the court/law/(lack of )justice system works (or rather fails to work)  -as it does.

all we know is this   -ryan 

and i am enormously grateful he is behind bars; that at least has allowed us to move forward minus an ominous ongoing fear of when/where he might show up..

so, ryan IS behind bars

and, but..  in the past two years now, we have received email communications that essentially share, ryan has a court date..    we can go if we want to;  -we never want to

ryan does not enter a plea   -he apparently is not mandated to enter a plea, and thus far, we don't know whether there is a cap, a time limit?   -how many times can he just not enter a plea and go back to county jail vs. state prison

in the past two years, email communications share that for one reason or another, they've had to change and reassign prosecuting attorneys      -so, very sensitive information, gets transferred from one attorney to another,  and to me there is something really yucky about that..    this re-starting all over with someone new..   re-telling, re-explaining, 

within the past year, via email communications, we learned ryan was charged with violently injuring another inmate  (surprise?)   -and then something about how this had to been handled by yet a different attorney, which conflicted with something else, 

and so i am grateful i learned from the very beginning, that this process could take anywhere from four to five years.     i just don't understand why it all takes so long.   

***

i remember as the anniversary of cynthia's murder approaches..   the noble friends; seen in the picture above.  and, we did old-fashioned, cut and paste a couple friends in, and retake the picture, because a couple of the friends who helped, were not present when the picture was taken.   but, the majority of the men in the picture are deputies/retired deputies; the good ones.  the noble ones.  it is a content of character picture.  -in the aftermath of cynthia's murder, they all showed up and helped with

  all that the crisis demands

it is my go-to scripture:  Ephesians 6:13

and this crisis demanded that cynthia's apartment was cleaned out; and they helped us.  with love, support, prayers and muscle power, time, energy, trucks, cars, they helped organize, box up and move all her belongings, and in the after...   visits, calls, loyal, reliable support.   "thank you!"

the crisis demanded so many phone calls, letters, emails, paperwork...   paperwork...    paperwork...   appearances at the hospital, at the police department, at the coroners, at the school where cynthia was a very loved and devoted teacher

the crisis demanded the family gather, and decide who would get what, and what would get thrown away, and what would get donated    -and may i say here, there was exclusively love and agreement; there was zero argument/debate between any of these traumatized siblings    -exemplary! 

the crisis demanded decisions about donating cynthia's salvageable body parts to help fellow humans..

the crisis demanded a cremation, and a memorial

the crisis demanded endless work and ceaseless prayer

and we continue,  dressed in God's armor   -having done all the crisis did demand

to stand firm in our place.     -waiting with love and patience; faith and hope

and, 

early, early, on..   Robert and I agreed,   -evil has already claimed enough territory.  We consciously decided not to let the enemy claim any more territory than he already has

we have been and remain on the same spiritual page, so to speak, 

      -if we were to, say..   drink our way out of the pain...   drug our way out of the pain.... eat our way out of the pain... constantly re-live, re-talk about and stay angry...   stay depressed....  hide under the covers...  curse the whole world..  seek revenge... 

any of that would equal the enemy gaining even more territory

but, to move on in life...   to remain in prayer, and live with peace, happiness, joy, loving and serving others

this is giving God the territory!   this is a true fight of faith!    this is the very definition of spiritual warfare and we are determined to remain victorious!

our peace, happiness, love...    it is not pretend.  it is not phony.   it is not oppressed or repressed memories.

we have a strong and established relationship with Jesus, the prince of peace!

and we have; we are directly experiencing "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding"

Phillippians 4:7.

in Jesus trustworthy and holy name    -in Cynthia's honor, with enormous love   -amen.

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 10:35 AM 0 comments

i spy an empty canvas! (me!) ~tops

and, when i purchased the gum in foil wrappers, i always! tore the gum stick in half, and left the other half wrapped in foil for later..

and i chew a lot of gum

this ='d,  well, in my pants pockets, and my locker, and the trays in my cars, and at the bottom of my purse..     half gum pieces that got squished and would ultimately have to be thrown away

and on really hot days, the stick gum would become all...   too...   and i'd have to throw the whole pack away

no big deal

but eventually i found this eclipse gum in these wonderful containers, and it is not stick gum, it is, 

and they hold up in just about any temperature.    and, odd to me, but with stick gum, i'd tear them in half, but with the 'pieces' gum, i chew two at a time

and, but..    to find out the plastic wrap comes write off...   and the lid!  it can open three different ways!  small for one or two pieces..   larger for several, or to refill..     and/or the whole lid can be taken off

now..

for any mixed media artist..  "EMPTY CANVAS!!"   and, i've decorated several of these now.. i had originally intended to mosaic..    and have experimented here and there, decorating them with paint, stickers, paper, string...

but what is bringing me great joy write now..    "ROSES!"    and i watched a couple, how-to videos on youtube, and, then

some white, some red, some pink, an angled brush

and here is the thing about my roses, vs. the youtube teacher's roses

the teachers can replicate their roses..   that is, they can use the same strokes, in the same way..  and if you asked them to, they could make essentially the same rose, over and over..

i cannot.

i can't quite explain it, but..   i promise you this:  on the 11 recycled gum containers i have painted so far

no two roses are alike

it is the wildest thing.. even when i think i'm using the same stroke, doing the same thing..

some other unpredictable thing happens..

and i just kind of go with it...  

and they all resemble a rose somehow... but, 

well, "i love painting roses!"   and so this is what i will do until a different idea pulls stronger

and, on the top, i can personalize with a sticker or message..

and inside, some candy

i'm recycling, i'm creating, i'm gift-giving.   it is a win/win/win!

in Jesus name, amen.

P.S.   i recently watched susan cain on the power of introverts, a ted talk.   everything she says is true.

especially the part about   [i have to look up the word]    -ambiverts.

and i recalled, during my son's pre-school years, one of the teachers said to me

"jack does interact and play with the other kids, but he can also be by himself, and we are concerned..."

and write away, i was like..  "that's wonderful!   what are you concerned about!?"

and it did not bother me one ounce.

i kind of worry, i get concerned, when it's the other way around, and people have to have someone around AT ALL TIMES..  when they don't know how to be by themselves or enjoy down time; that doesnt seem healthy to me.

but, let's remember to remove judgement, and garden parent:   what are the individual, unique needs of the given child.   

you can look at a plant, tree, a flower and assess whether it is thriving..

so, i believe it is true for me, my daughter and my son

we are all ambiverts

and i agree with susan cain,  we get to enjoy the best of both worlds.
 

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 9:14 AM 0 comments

Permission DE-NIED to (me!) ~tops

you already know my goal   "lets label all the trees!"  "let's introduce them by name!"   and you already know, if walk down my neighborhood, and knock on the doors of everyone, and ask them, "do you know the name of the tree in front of your house? in your front yard?   -even people who have lived here since 1812, and have been looking at the tree in front of their house for   -ever!       -a very, very, small % of the population can name their tree

and!  aren't quite sure how they can go about figuring it out...

/don't accidentally load an app on your phone with every species of tree in northern california; that backfired

anyway..

my sexy and i, we go on long walks now and then, and on those walks, we pass one house

           /and i wont say the street name...

but, we pass this one house, with an absolutely gorgeous, and very enormous tree, that inspires the same awe every time we see it 

and we always wonder the same thing..   "do you think the roots have lifted up or damaged the house inside?"

and so, maybe it was today, or maybe it was last month, 

            /i wont say when

but, for the first time ever, the owner of the house was out by this marvelous tree, and so...

"!"

when i thought about it, as we proceeded on our walk, 

well, i'm going to need to work on my wording..    -because, essentially, what i was asking, although not in these words

i mean, once i found out, said owner does not know the name of the tree! that stops everyone in their tracks, and which s/he has walked past for who knows how many decades...

so, i guess, well,     "may i please exploit your ignorance about your tree to help me with my cause?"

i really wanted his picture, next to the gorgeous, enormous tree, with a headline

"OWNER DOESNT KNOW NAME OF HIS OWN ...

or, 

"OWNER HAS NEVER BOTHERED TO LEARN...

         -these just get worse and worse, as you can see..    and what a hypocrite i am!    did i know the name of any of the trees in my yards growing up?  on the school campuses?   in the landscaping of the local mall?

no.   i have given trees names; or believed they kind of introduced themselves to me..

this is a more recent revelation; it started during, and remains in the aftermath of working at alden lane nursery in livermore, and after having the opportunity to pick and plant a new tree in our front yard

  ***

anyway, a very fine and wonderful conversation with this lovely man..

   /or woman..    

when you remove my awkward contribution and focus more on the exchange between my sexy and the home owner; their conversation flowed freely and beautifully

and i am very proud of myself for not taking a picture, and just listening.. honoring...  and then moving write along..

but doesnt it make you just a little bit curious?   -why do we just walk write past..  live next to...  sit under and picnic..  get shade from...  and literally breathe thank you to..   and yet, so many of us have no idea what types/names of trees we co-exist with every single day.

amen.

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 7:31 PM 0 comments

Garden Parenting by (me!) ~writeousmom

most famous, probably  "tiger mom"   and there is, "helicopter" -the hovering parent.   and i've seen/read labels/vocabulary like, elephant parenting, dolphin parenting, attachment parenting, free range parenting..  and i'm sure there are several more

i have always described myself as a "cheerleader"  mom.  i observed my children's innate likes/dislikes, interests, patterns of behavior, let those observations/assessments dictate where i poured my time, attention, energy..  and always supported, encouraged, allowed each of them to pursue their natural interests

/and yes, i did over-inflict my own interests (art, theater..) and drag them unwillingly to a number of shows, performances...     their facial expressions in pictures at said events pretty much tell the story.

but, yes,  "you want to play baseball?   write on!  that's great, you're great..."     "you want to do gymnastics?   write on!   that's great, you're great..."

/and there was the time, i accidentally sucked the initial joy of swimming out of my daughter by over-encouraging to the point of...   much unwanted pressure...      

who gets parenting perfect?  i know no one...  but, i really want to change how i describe myself as a parent

away from "cheerleader mom"   -although i do sing, dance, support, encourage; and if they change their mind, i just sing a new song, dance a new dance..    and quickly pour the same enthusiasm into their new found interest

but really, more accurately, i would self-describe as a garden mom.  i say this because, with gardeners and plants, trees, flowers, bugs, fertilizers..  on and on

well, 

with all of the above mentioned parenting styles, it suggests parents have one way of parenting all of their children.   -don't see often (ever?)  i'm a tiger mom for this child, an attachment mom for that child..   

but gardeners..   the good ones..   they observe the plant/flower/tree and determine it's needs and respond accordingly vs.  having one way and insisting that way/method on every plant

i have already written, "sun is to plants as attention is to humans"   -some plants require full sun, some require morning sun, late afternoon shade..

it makes me think of "stage moms"  who have a reputation for forcing their children into stardom, like it or not

   -gardening parents would first assess whether or not their child lights up on stage; lights up when a camera is near, and then plan accordingly

gardening moms do not judge the same way other moms do..   "so n so, always has to be the center of attention"  said with a negative tone,   -becomes with a gardening mom, 

this child needs to be the center of attention    -with the same insight a gardener explains, "this plant needs 4 hours of sun a day, and then shade.."    "this plant needs lots of water..   this plant is drought tolerant"  gardeners are rarely judging plants; they are consistently observing/honoring

i am personally convinced all of humanity would be better off if we approached raising children more like gardeners, and assessed our beautiful offspring, as if they were plants, flowers or trees

you don't tell a plant whether it is an annual or perennial; or hybrid..   the plant tells you.

you don't tell a plant "be drought tolerant!"   it is, or isnt..

you don't tell a tree to be deciduous; it is or isnt..   and if it is, you don't panic when it loses it leaves..

plants arrive with certain sensitivities, needs, patterns, or lack thereof..

and those sensitivities, needs, or lack thereof, can, or can not, change with seasons, temperature, time, surrounding conditions, location...    

and yes, yes.. of course.. there are exceptions; there are hybridizers; there is grafting; there are new combinations with the goal of making plant life hardier, more beautiful, more fruitful

the best gardeners are always observing/adjusting..    looking to see if the plant is thriving; always the goal..  or noticing if they need to water less; water more...    add nutrients to the soil..   prune...   relocate.. de-bug..

and i think its a great way to approach not only parenting, but marriage, friendship, co-worker relationships

-learning and assessing the other persons wants/needs and acting accordingly    -removing 'judgement' or strict adherence to one way of parenting and recognizing/honoring innate and unique gifts/talents/wants/needs/interests the children present.

my children are young grown adults now, and both independently thriving.  i give thanks to God, and their dad, and my parents/family/friends.. their teachers and friends;   everyone pouring into their lives

and i continue to observe..  and marvel...   and adjust...   to having them be adults now..

it's a new season for all of us..

due season for all of us..

and Matthew 13 also comes to my heart and mind.     in Jesus name, amen.

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 6:58 PM 0 comments

GOTTA HAVE FAITH! (me!) ~tops

 again, 1000 CH's on any given day, but! let's click on and open a few  

   TEASING OUT MY WILDEST DREAMS

             -because...                 and like,.....                  so, if you can also imagine then:

KT Tunstall   AND!  Roger Daltrey

****

and was JUST at the bankhead theater in livermore, like, yesterday..  for charlotte severin's artist reception, of her one person show, "Take Me There"      -spectacular of course!  and i delighted in crossing paths again, after many years in some cases, with people from pleasanton and livermore literary circles   #charlotteseverin

so..   don't miss this performance! unless you are out of the country..

inbetween customers

and lastly...

                                                                         Speaking of Faith..   and Ants...

my shortest poem

   what we can learn about PTSD from my sister and ants

 until next time...                        in Jesus name..   amen.

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 8:27 PM 0 comments

"the purple book" organized scripture by (joyce meyer!)

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 10:32 AM 0 comments

Happy 4th of July!

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 9:12 AM 0 comments

Our Spiritual Address is Galatians 6:9 (sexy! & tops!) #bigdogwinery #monterey @writeousmom

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 11:59 AM 0 comments

"Hope!" for (me!) ~tops

a couple pages in, and i was like.. "oh no! this is not a book to skim..   this requires a full dive!"

so that means, highlighters, cookies, beverage, pen, notepad; turn off the phone.. no tv..   do not disturb sign on the front door

and, i only got as far as page 2!  and then back a page or two.. and then i had to visit her website(s), and then i had to learn more about..  and then back to page 2!   and i highlighted (last paragraph/soft cover)

it seems like nobody cares.  But we should care.

and my imagination took off!  and i went to my own blog, write here, and typed in the search bar...

and i was like "Hope!"    -maybe SHE can help make my dream come true! and we can start LABELING TREES for everyone to see...

if you want people to care..   a great way!  A GREAT WAY! to start, is by proper INTRODUCTION..

     pause to think, when you know someone's name vs. when you don't. 

and i remind here..   how many people, in how many neighborhoods, can look up and down their street, or a nearby park and NOT KNOW THE NAME OF ANY OF THE TREES...

this has a remedy!    and then my mind flashed to our very recent bike ride and picnic at pebble beach.. the most beautiful tree write in the middle of the picnic grounds, and no one knew its name..

but what if..    what if, write on the trunk,  it's name..    no one would have to ask or wonder, we could all  KNOW and LEARN...

and once again, that is my vote!  that on arbor day, we each go out and label a tree.  i think this will be a much bigger success than everyone plant a tree...  not everyone has the time, space, resources to care for..      i mean, if you do.. of course!!

but, it seems very doable to name/label...               and now, i was reading hope's contact info

and i don't have (or want)  facebook, instagram, twitter   -and doesn't look like she can respond to emails..  but!   "and so snail mail it is!"

       -as you can see, it might take me a good long while to finish this inspiring(me!) book.

"thank you!" here to carla for gifting me with it; and hope for writing it.              amen.

****

july 6th, 2021

"i know! ...exactly... write.."

CH = 

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 11:18 AM 0 comments