"MISTAKEN!" a prayer from a woman in love (me!) Sandra, tvgp
"Dear Jesus.." I said,
You know my biggest fear.. The pain of infidelity..."
And Jesus said.. "this is not your biggest fear..". At least, he tried to tell me, but I was so already into my own prayer monologue it didn't quite register in the moment.
I go, "I pray that I am in love with a faithful, loyal, completely devoted man.. Incapable of cheating!... But, okay.. If it does happen... I pray that you provide me the strength and grace to simultaneously forgive as I exit this relationship. Yes. Forgive. Exit. Exit. Forgive.
Which! Can only take place if he either a.) gets caught, or B.) confesses. so, okay, Jesus.. I pray.. That if he ever cheats! Ever! Or even thinks about it too long.. I pray that he will not be able to sleep without confessing.. Or eat. He will not be able to sleep or eat. And I pray that if he cheats and doesn't tell me... Not only will he be made too uncomfortable to sleep or eat, but that he will suffer from a chronic migraine. And a loud.. No, a piercing ring in both ears every time he blinks. And he will blink often because of the inexplicable burning sensation in both eyes. And I pray that he might also have a perpetual upset stomach. And an incurable poison oak style rash around his penis. And that his arthritis will inflame and spread throughout every joint in his entire body. And I pray, dear holy Jesus, that if he even thinks about cheating for too long without telling me.. That in addition to the preforementioned signs you will send, I will start to notice a limp, and a hunch growing on his back and a giant cyst near his upper lip. I pray he will lose part of his ability to speak clearly.. And every time he smiles or laughs, mucous will project from his nose and land directly on the face of the person nearest him. I pray he can never quite get his shower water the temperature he likes, but that instead, it will either boil or freeze, and that all his food and drink will be bland, flavorless, perhaps spiked with toxins... And I pray that if he ever even thinks about cheating and doesn't tell me.. He will live with the preforementioned symptoms every day, all day, for about... Let's say... 12 days, at which time all of his teeth will fall out and then.. -he will die. In your name, Jesus.. I love you, amen"
And you know how that happens... Someone says something when you're trying to talk, and you talk write over what they say.. But it still reaches your subconscious.. And it floats there until you shut up long enough for it to surface.. And so I realized.. When I finally shut up... Being cheated on is not my greatest fear; being lied to is.
So I said, "Thank you Jesus for that revelation!". And I got up from my kneeled position and started to get ready for the great day ahead. But then I kneeled back down, and folded my hands in prayer again..
"dear holy Jesus," I said, "...i pray that if he ever even thinks about lying to me...or doing anything behind my back, or deceiving me in any way shape or form... That you might apply the preforementioned discomforts immediately. No, in advance! So that I might be free to fall in love -again. And again. Until I find the just write ONE.
Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah! And amen!"
NICE TO MEET YOU ROBERT FROST
ORIGINAL POST 09/24/2007:
sorry i didn't get a chance to meet you in person. you were a handsome one, i'm sure you don't mind me sayin'. -and i only missed you by a decade or two
anyway.. i'm going to write a 2 page application, applying new criticism theory to your road not taken poem
i have a special place in my heart for that one, having sprung from it in my, number 5, neurotictransmitters poem. -made you laugh didn't i.
well you make me laugh too. yelling at me the way you did
i was barely thinking to myself.., how this poem is more often referred to as "the road less traveled" poem. barely started wondering if, given the chance, and given the public's response, you would change the ti
"NO!!" -no worries mr. frost. that came in loud and clear.
The Road Not Taken it is.
and if i'm not mistaken -and you've yet to correct me- road not taken is about our misguided sense of free will, yes?
it feels like we have a choice... a decision to make between things
feels like, especially if we stand there long,
turn our head in two directions and
contemplate before we move
feels like free will doesn't it. feels like we make up our mind, when in reality, our mind is already made up
if you're programmed to explore... pre-programmed to explore
there is no decision. only action, awareness and story.
it's brilliant; road not taken. Road Not Taken. statement. period. fact. robotic report.
road. not. taken.
and the rest is poetry. i hear your song in the last stanza (one i borrowed from thank you) but am still working on finding your rhythm in the beginning & middle
i think i might be adding/subtracting syllables inappropriately. feel free to let me know.
i'm grateful for self-interpretation and all that, but would like to hear it the way you heard it in your head when you composed it.
sincerely,
sandra, all ears, kay
" oh, i kept the first for another day!
yet knowing..."
-very clever mr frost. enthusiastic insight
time for a beer with my sister. you are welcome to join us
Christian Work Ethic as understood by (me!) sandra mickanen
this post is inspired by an experience i had quite a while back; witnessing a perfectly healthy, capable young man, 20-somethings, i'm guessing, sitting in front of a grocery store, with his sign, 'would rather beg than steal'
i carry it as a regret that i did not return and sit next to him with a sign that read: he'd rather beg than work. -for hire signs were everywhere at the time..
****
i do believe in helping; i do not believe in enabling.. or loitering.. or allowing anyone to beg in front of stores at shopping plazas
exactly because they become a deterrent to paying customers.. stores lose paying customers incrementally, and then your problem only grows; like a cancer
the people who do -give- to the beggars; while their heart might be in the write place; the result is that the beggars stay; sometimes increase in number..
store continues to lose paying customers incrementally; sometimes having to close, board up, move away all together.
exactly because the loitering, begging population also defecate on the sidewalks, litter (despite garbage cans only a few feet away) -because they exist in a very uncivilized manner
they also cause headache, heartache and extra work for store owners, managers, employees -they are not just a deterrent to paying customers, they are also, a deterrent to owning/operating a small (or large) business.. /see why i repeat, repeat, they are bringing us down, we are not lifting them up...
****
skipping here why Dignity Acres Emergency Campground is a very obvious and necessary solution..
****
cutting to: The Christian Work Ethic
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i see that, Christians are often misunderstood; mistaken as enablers. -turned to for endless donations
****
obviously, we are not including here, anyone with an authentic mental or physical illness which prevents them from working;
obviously, the passage i'm about to retype from the Bible, regards the capable:
***
it goes like this:
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context: The Everyday Life Bible. Amplified Version. Featuring Notes and Commentary by Joyce Meyer
Author: Paul Date: Probably AD 51
Second Thessalonians
3:6-
6 Now we charge you, brethren, in the name and on the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that you withdraw and keep away from every brother (fellow believer) who is slack in the performance of duty and is disorderly, living as a shirker and not walking in accord with the traditions and instructions that you have received from us.
7 For you yourselves know how it is necessary to imitate our example, for we were not disorderly or shirking of duty when we were with you [we were not idle].
8 Nor did we eat anyone's bread without paying for it, but with toil and struggle we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden or impose on any of you [for our support].
9 [It was] not because we do not have a right [to such support], but [we wished] to make ourselves an example for you to follow.
10 For while we were yet with you, we gave you this rule and charge: If anyone will not work, neither let him eat.
11. Indeed, we hear that some among you are disorderly [that they are passing their lives in idleness, neglectful of duty], being busy with other people's affairs instead of their own and doing no work.
12. Now we charge and exhort such persons [as ministers in Him exhorting those] in the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) that they work in quietness and earn their own food and other necessities.
13. And as for you, bretheren, do not become weary or lose heart in doing right [but continue in well-doing without weakening].
****
my Christian walk has taught me;
God is not an enabler; God responds to effort; to sincere human effort.
If you are capable of working...
You will make an effort under any circumstance. You would ask if you could do the dishes at a restaurant before you ever felt entitled to a 'free' meal.
You would ask to clean the sidewalks, to mow a lawn, to wash windows.. to walk a dog.. to paint.. to pick up litter.. to weed..
You would do; you would offer to do -something; some form of work, service, help, task,
in exchange for food.
****
selah! hallelujah & amen
AND THE WINNER IS.... "CHARLIE ROSE!" says (me!) sandra tvgp
i know most people would lean towards oprah as being the best television talk show host of all time, but they'd be mistaken
oprah could win as most popular, yes.. but you just can't give an award to a host -beautiful and talented as she might be - who, interruptes her guest in the middle of tragic life stories for a commercial break
-some conversations should not be put on hold; stopped mid-thought. there's something so wrong about that
taking your guest and viewers from one valid emotional state -ripping that carpet from underneath their feet
throwing them curbside; force-feeding a parade of product & service mini-movies
and then, ripping that carpet out, and landing everyone back in the studio where now -who knows what they should feel; or buy; or clean; or wear; or drive...
where were we?
"oh yeah... an entire family; murdered!"
***
and as long as we're in the process of elimination...
william shatner ... out!
"OUT! OUT! OUT!"
"why did she cry?"
can you imagine? -he has a guest on -kelsey grammer- to be specific. -and God bless this man..
he has endured more than his fair share of tragic losses,
and shatner asks all about his tragic losses, of course, write... "how old were you when your father died? how did he die? who told you... where, when, how, etc."
and grammer explains his parents were divorced at the time, he hadn't seen his dad in long time.. there was some estrangment
and he was being driven home from school by his mom, when his mom broke the news that his father had been murdered -and he mentions that his mom began crying
and shatner asks, "why was she crying?"
WHY WAS SHE CRYING?
well, i assure you, mr. kelsey grammer was as gracious and wonderful as he could be, but i wanted to reach write through that televsion screen and hit that william shatner over his star trek head!
since i couldn't do that, i just
"CLICK"
and went to "my recordings" where several charlie rose episodes were waiting patiently for my time and attention.
"charlie.. i know YOU would never ask such a question... my goodness...
and YOU.. you never interrupt your guest for commercial breaks..
i love you charlie rose!"
-and i'm always surprised when i ask around, and learn some of my friends, co-workers have never heard of charlie rose
charlie rose!
he's been on pbs since... since...
for a long, long time. and he has the most fascinating guests.. scientists, movie stars, political leaders, doctors, poets, philosophers, authors, artists, directors, economists, robin williams; race car drivers, athletic champions; you name it
FULL, BEAUTIFUL, ENTIRELY ENGAGING,
UNINTERRUPTED CONVERSATIONS! no live audience.. just charlie and his guest(s) 'round the big oak table
and most importantly -NO COMMERCIAL BREAKS!-
i think it is very safe to say, charlie rose is THE BEST TELEVISION TALK SHOW HOST OF ALL TIME
if you look at quality of guests
quality of questions
quality of program
charlie rose is second to none.
TABLE TOP PIANO, by sandra, ttgp
in the rich house i saw a piano
a piano not once played
used only as a table top
where pictures are displayed ~in suede or leather frames
in the poor house lived a young boy
longing fingers; much to say
songs to compose, music to share
but no piano 'round to play ~and for lessons, couldn't pay
in the rich house i saw a swimming pool
sparkling water still and blue
so beautiful to look at
which is all that you're to do ~ "look at that beautiful swimming pool!"
on the poor house lawn were children
running through the sprinklers
oh how they would love to splash
and swim, and plug their noses and dive to the bottom of the pool to find pennies, and pretend that they are mermaids, or sharks, and cannon-ball off the side of the pool, and get yelled at like this... "walk. don't run! the cement is slippery, i don't want you to get hurt now" and dry off on a great big fluffly towel under the sun with snacks and drinks nearby... then jump back in whenever they wanted
oh how they would love to splash ~ and swim the day away; with friends.
at the rich house i saw four cars
but three were never driven
three unused cars for just in case
now, that's some kind of livin'!
at the poor house, shoes and passes
for walks to bus or train
yellow plastic coats and boots
umbrellas for the rain ~ "$3.52 a gallon!" don't hear them complain.
in the rich house i saw lots of books
with matching leather covers
alphabetized and organized
-not by an author lover!- ~ who reads by size or color?!
in the poor house, dated magazines
a library book or two
hungry minds, big appetites
for stories that are new ~books owned and loved; not due.
in the rich house, cleaned by maidens
many objects to observe
crystal designs so shiny they blind!
shout, "see what i have earned!" ~ see in college what i learned!
in the poor house, small but tidy
family pictures line the hall
in wal-mart frames, big smiles remain
shout, "i love you one and all!" ~ keep your chin up and walk tall
in the rich house, pride and prejudice
aversion to the weak
mistaken thought, that what they've got
is what every person seeks ~ but this is mine for keeps! i earned it!
in the poor house, hopes and wishes
for a better life with more
piano's, pools, books and transporation
a better life with more
~just one car, not four
~their very own musical score!
~to swim with friends galore
~own books bought from a store!
a better life, a better life, a better life with more.
and i wish you all a better life
a better life with more
to everyone who's hurting
knocking softly on hopes door
and i wish sometimes that i
-me- that i could even out the score
and give to the poor thought rich
the wealth of the rich but poor
so that everyone, poor or rich
everyone rich or poor
can manifest, become your best
~know a better life with more.
by sandra, the traveling gypsy poet. final touches, may 24th, 2006. spell check edits...that's wal-mart, not wallmart and who's, not whose... by favorite blogger friend, len stegmann.thank you.
warby parker does, that's who... by (me!) sandra, topps, writeousmom
crazy blessed, way fun, ultra wonderful new years eve.. and that post, and those pictures will be ready soon,
for now,
return with me to santana row.. gorgeous landscaping, all decked for the holidays, a joy just to walk around..
but i did have some money from a Christmas gift to spend.. and, i had given away the sunglasses i'd been wearing for some time, and was in the market for a new pair
stopped first at the sunglass hut, i think its called.. and fell first for a pair that had a price tag of $300 something -art of immediate detachment. next, for a pair that had approx $150 price tag... art of less immediate detachment, but detachment still..
left the store, continued my stroll..
felt pulled inside warby parker... "books!" and i did find a cute pair of sunglasses, just under $100 (before tax..)
but a STRONG CH! [Cerebral Hyperlink] and i started just talking to anyone who was willing to listen, while simultaneously taking pictures
"i'm a writer.. a poet.. one time i asked... who organizes their books by size and color?!? but look.. you guys do.. and it looks beautiful! like, i might have to eat my words, -again.."
and i just shared my 2025 instructions, if you will.. i don't remember order, but i do 'receive' like a message to go by.. different messages, for different seasons..
i remember 'let that be enough' or something like that.. for one season.. and i remember applying it, when we went to vegas and saw ONE, the Michael Jackson show.. [best ever! encore! encore!]
but anyway.. then you see the gift store.. and find yourself, or least, i find myself, wanting a t-shirt, a decor piece.. souvenirs galore from this magnificent experience.. but, 'let the show.. seeing the show, let that be enough'
and as a result i left with only a couple pens that said ONE on them..
but the newest message is this: eating my words. in short, now that i'm just shy of 59 years old, i have that many decades worth of personal thoughts, ideas, opinions, philosophies, mantras...
that, with the advantage of time and life experience, observation and experiments, -well,
i've had opportunity to change my mind, change my heart AND mind, in some cases.. and i find i no longer have the exact same thoughts, ideas, opinions, philosophies, mantras as i did at age 30, or 40, or even early 50's..
so.. working on a poem for that too: about how glad i am that the words i have been, and will be eating.. they were pretty nutritious in the first place..
but back to warby parker... and my very STRONG CH from the archives
TABLE TOP PIANO, by sandra, ttgp
in the rich house i saw a piano
a piano not once played
used only as a table top
where pictures are displayed ~in suede or leather frames
in the poor house lived a young boy
longing fingers; much to say
songs to compose, music to share
but no piano 'round to play ~and for lessons, couldn't pay
in the rich house i saw a swimming pool
sparkling water still and blue
so beautiful to look at
which is all that you're to do ~ "look at that beautiful swimming pool!"
on the poor house lawn were children
running through the sprinklers
oh how they would love to splash
and swim, and plug their noses and dive to the bottom of the pool to find pennies, and pretend that they are mermaids, or sharks, and cannon-ball off the side of the pool, and get yelled at like this... "walk. don't run! the cement is slippery, i don't want you to get hurt now" and dry off on a great big fluffly towel under the sun with snacks and drinks nearby... then jump back in whenever they wanted
oh how they would love to splash ~ and swim the day away; with friends.
at the rich house i saw four cars
but three were never driven
three unused cars for just in case
now, that's some kind of livin'!
at the poor house, shoes and passes
for walks to bus or train
yellow plastic coats and boots
umbrellas for the rain ~ "$3.52 a gallon!" don't hear them complain.
in the rich house i saw lots of books
with matching leather covers
alphabetized and organized
-not by an author lover!- ~ who reads by size or color?!
in the poor house, dated magazines
a library book or two
hungry minds, big appetites
for stories that are new ~books owned and loved; not due.
in the rich house, cleaned by maidens
many objects to observe
crystal designs so shiny they blind!
shout, "see what i have earned!" ~ see in college what i learned!
in the poor house, small but tidy
family pictures line the hall
in wal-mart frames, big smiles remain
shout, "i love you one and all!" ~ keep your chin up and walk tall
in the rich house, pride and prejudice
aversion to the weak
mistaken thought, that what they've got
is what every person seeks ~ but this is mine for keeps! i earned it!
in the poor house, hopes and wishes
for a better life with more
piano's, pools, books and transporation
a better life with more
~just one car, not four
~their very own musical score!
~to swim with friends galore
~own books bought from a store!
a better life, a better life, a better life with more.
and i wish you all a better life
a better life with more
to everyone who's hurting
knocking softly on hopes door
and i wish sometimes that i
-me- that i could even out the score
and give to the poor thought rich
the wealth of the rich but poor
so that everyone, poor or rich
everyone rich or poor
can manifest, become your best
~know a better life with more.
by sandra, the traveling gypsy poet. final touches, may 24th, 2006. spell check edits...that's wal-mart, not wallmart and who's, not whose... by favorite blogger friend, len stegmann.thank you.#warbyparker
****
speaking of... good God.. giving my email was part of the purchasing process.. now, -emails from this company on a daily basis. i've hit 'unsubscribe' every time.. no results. it is a huge irritation to have your email inbox colonized by advertisements. now i have to make a point to revisit, talk to manager.. have my email REMOVED from their list.. -watch it happen.. verify.
when you multiply this experience out, by the different companies.. it is ridiculous to look at your email in box, and the burden is on you to delete and 'clean space'
i remain convinced, the current generation can figure out a way...
some way, anyone -any company- that wants to send an advertisement to your email inbox.. they need to pay you, even a few cents, but let's round it to a dollar,
what happens? if every advertisement to your email cost the company itself $1, and that $1 goes to the person tasked with either 'unsubscribing' 'deleting' or 'reading' and then deleting...
please experiment with this. PLEASE
selah & amen
