YOU ARE NOT THAT by (me!) sandra, tvgp
you are not your pretty face
you are not your scars
you are not the house you keep
you are not your car
you are not your business card
your illness or your health
you are a cherished child of God
ever green, beloved.
you are not what others think
based on current trends
you are loved, day in, day out
on purpose, without end
if they stuck you in a mud pit
or covered you in jewels
or plopped you in a foreign land
without any foreign tools
if they placed you on a pedestal
then kicked you off for fun
none of this
is who you are
in the eyes of God.
you are not your ignorance
and you are not your knowledge
you are a cherished child of God
ever green, beloved.
~sandra, tvgp
KAY RYAN VS. CHARLIE ROSE ON PBS by (me!) sandra, tvgp
unless my children are on the field, i have no interest in sports.
every once in a while, i accidentally land somewhere (usually for something to eat), and find myself below a tv screen and surrounded by crazy sports fans
espn -i don't bother to look up, just out.
you can feel the tension in the room even when it's relatively quiet. feel the tension growing, building, until
here it comes
people popping out of their seats, chairs sliding and falling over "go! go! go!" or sometimes,
"no! no! no!"
and it's all shouted with such passion and volume.
my interests lie elsewhere
on the literary field.
and a couple weeks ago
i was a crazy poetry fan
kay ryan vs. charlie rose on pbs
i wore my colors, grabbed some spicy almonds and cold beer
i was home alone.. part of me wishing i was surrounded by like minds in a local poetry bar, pbs on the giant flat screen
i do not know enough sports teams or players to provide an analogy..
can anyone help? u.s. poet laureates.. billy collins then kay ryan on the same team; different years
both great poets but polar opposites on the field
anyway..
i'm watching charlie. and everyone knows i'm a big fan of charlie's
but i'm a big fan of poetry too. so it's kinda like watching ... 49ers/raiders? both california teams.. you like them both?
or no. more like your hometown childhood team vs. your where you live now team. a slight allegiance to both, but one slightly more than the other.
so charlie slightly more.
and i've heard charlie read a lot over the years.. book passages, critical reviews, and poetry
he's awesome. and even when he's not awesome, he's damn good. the man knows what he's doing -he's charlie rose for goodness sake
and i can tell when he's gearing up.. and i watched him gearing up to read one of kay ryan's poems
the turtle? the elephant? -i can't remember
whichever it was, i found myself chanting, "go! go! go!"
and when he finished it was like... "touchdown charlie rose!"
and i did a little dance for him. but then,
i saw kay ryan.. squirming. uneasy. gradually tortured, crying "foul" or "out of bounds"
-robbing him his glory, his points
and i popped out of my chair,
"no! no! no! don't do it! kay.. stop. let it be.. don't.. he scored just fine!"
and i looked all around at my invisible friends,
"she is NOT GOING TO REREAD IT.. TELL ME.. PLEASE.."
but she couldn't resist. it was just too much for her
and so she corrected charlie rose's interpretation of her poem write there on his program on national television.
charlie rose. one of the most gracious, earnest hosts of all time.
"BAD FORM!" "BAD FORM!" and i threw a couple almonds at the tv.
"oh! did you see that?!? can you believe that?!?"
... like the worse play ever!..
"PENALTY! PENALTY! where's the referee on that one? -someone call a time out!"
but it didn't even stop there..
got worse!
charlie.. most gracious, earnest, talented host in all the tv world, says, in such a humble, apologetic manner to kay (his guest.. i must repoint out that she is his guest!)
he says to her something like.. "you do a much better read.. "
okay.. and let's say you're trying to fix something on the football field.. and necessary or not, you generously, graciously give the ball to a teammate
and your purpose, and your expectation is that your teammate take the gift and run
only.. when you hand the football to your teammate, instead of running with it
he throws it in your face
that's what she did!
because after charlie hands kay the gracious humble apology ball
she says something like,
"it's okay.. you would have come to that reading after 3 or 4 tries"
"OH! that's it! you are out of the game! off the team!"
i'm up out of my seat again
looking at all my invisible friends
"NO! NO! NO! SHE DID NOT JUST SAY WHAT SHE JUST SAID!!?!"
"BAD FORM! BAD FORM!"
and then i went to the fridge for a fresh, cold beer.
and i still can't believe it
how billy collins and kay ryan could be on the same team?
who's the owner? who's the coach? who drafted this woman?
but then i read her poem titled hide and seek
and changed my mind.
realized that sometimes even the greatest players have off days.
that ultimately, the u.s. wins.
and that when it comes to the requirements for the poet laureate of the united states of america; manners is not one of them.
FALSE LABOR AND TRUE LOVE by (me!) sandra, tvgp
my kids know this story very well. we refer to it as the "that's not labor" story. -goes like this:
and it's a true story by the way.
i was in the hospital and only hours away from giving birth to my son. the door is open, and in the hallway there is another pregnant woman, only much younger, and much happier
with a smile she is telling the nurse, "i'm in labor! i'm in labor!"
the nurse laughs, and says, "honey.. you're still smiling. that's not labor." then she points to me, "that's labor."
and i'm of course, pale as a ghost, howling in pain, sweating, screaming and just about to vomit.
and just last night i found myself referencing this story as i watched a cute little disney-ish movie on tv with my kids
because there went another one; much younger, much happier
a pretty little blond girl, bouncing around, smiling, telling anyone within reach, "i'm in love! i'm in love!"
and i looked at my kids, said only, "see how she's smiling.. that's not love."
and they got it write away.
