SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

MY BLOG; MY DO-OVER by (me!) sandra, tvgp

if, like me, you can't fall asleep without going over the day's conversations and realizing in what places you messed up

then, like me, you have yet another reason to cherish your blog

because your blog can be your do-over. you don't have to wish, or hope, or pray

you just have to blog.

let me provide some examples:

a long time ago, i was in the company of one of those ivory tower princeton/harvard graduate types discussing our mutual passion, writing

when the ivory guy asks me if i know [plug in some famous writer in history that all ivory grads know here]

and i answered honestly, as is my nature, "no."

and that's when the ivory guy looks at me like

like, well, how can you even call yourself a writer then, and he says with a great bit of snobby attitude,

"you don't want to tell me that!"

/oh gosh... stop me if i've written this story before?


anyway

in the moment i responded politely, as is my nature

but!

since i have this blog and i can create my very own do-over, why then, i'm going to take just a moment to apologize to God for my language

because what i should have said was

"why? who the f#& do you think you are?"

and i realize

realized a long time ago -my audience

my audience is not scholars or college graduates or famous writers. my audience is young, lost, insecure, mass-media/culturally brain-washed, struggling, authentic, average but hopeful people like me

more heart than brain.

more curious than knowledgable.

out to express vs. impress -know what i mean?

****

do-over #2

much more recent -in answering the question, "when are you going to start making money for yourself?"

-this vs. raising money for others, like the tri valley haven.

and it perhaps seems odd to some people, that i'm raising money for others while i myself play the beat the overdraft charge game with my bank

but especially in regard to something like our upcoming exhibit/fundraiser diapers to diapers

i went in knowing this:

money. and more specifically -profit-seeking, can really interfer with certain creative manifestations.

with something like this, how can you possibly decide who gets what? it was my idea, but monica took the picture... we both found models... she/others helped with equipment, i helped with t-shirts/location, she helped with underwear/graphic design..., sponsor helped... there are 9 different models/families.. there is arzo giving us space, a band providing live music, a chef providing appetizers...

it seem to me from the very start, if we could remove ourselves from wanting to make money, and instead let the whole thing serve as a fundraiser for the tri valley haven -no one participating would be let down or would feel taken advantage of

instead everyone would be volunteering their time/talent/resources for a great cause, and this created a completely level playing field, as they say, for all participants

and i'm not guessing, but know, that this was the correct decision for this particular creative project.

to the extent it brings publicity/attention to monica dawn as a remarkable, up and coming photographer

or myself as an artist, or anyone of the volunteers for anything

this to me is a win/win.

i want to pause here to recommend it -fundraising for a cause you respect/love/feel passionate about.

the benefits are layered

the most important to me, is the one i mentioned above -when you are working with an all volunteer team, and no one individual stands to gain more than another, but rather everyone is serving a larger cause

the feeling everyone brings, the spirit and enthusiasm with which they participate is -better. it's just better all the way around

and when you are fundraising vs. seeking personal profit, your opportunities for advertising/promoting your event are supported in that spirit, vs. a business negotiation which can pretty much eat up potential profits anyway

your audience and/or customers get to feel better too... because they know their time/attention/dollars are going to a larger cause vs. individuals

the organization you fundraise for receives attention/money/recognition which almost any/every non-profit organization is very greatful to receive

and the volunteers fundraising receive attention/recognition, which can potentially result in personal/professional growth & greater opportunties

to me it is a win/win/win.

but i didn't get a chance to explain it this way, when i was asked, "when are you going to start making money for yourself?"

i only said, and truly believe, "i know that will come."

and i really look forward to reimbursing and giving back to the variety of people who have been helping me.

TBTG!

~amen.

posted by SHE @ 9:12 AM 0 comments

A LITTLE UNFAIR FAVOR SHINES ON (me!) sandra, ttgp

posted by SHE @ 6:06 AM 4 comments

TRI VALLEY HAVEN'S CANDLELIGHT MARCH, FRIDAY APRIL 16TH

posted by SHE @ 3:59 PM 0 comments

DIAPERS TO DIAPERS PUBLIC DEBUT exciting to (me!) sandra,tvgp

the feature photograph, diapers to diapers, for our upcoming photography exhibit, may 22nd, will make its public debut at the bankhead theater in livermore, tomorrow, sat. april 3rd, at a silent auction held prior to the performance of the vagina monologues

both the silent auction and the performance are fundraisers for the tri valley haven.

i could not be more pleased with how this photograph turned out

just as i hoped!

truth, beauty, humor, joy; emphasis on truth.


that is, 9 real females from our community, age 2 to 74, -including yours truly, your truly's daughter and yours truly's mom..

served as volunteer underwear models to contribute to an extraordinary visual art narrative and fundraiser for the tri valley haven

diapers to diapers was a vision i had and shared with my creative co-workers at our christmas dinner in late december 2009. -the idea was received with immediate interest, enthusiasm and willingness

but as i've mentioned before, -having a vision, and having a vision manifest are two entirely different things. the first much easier than the second,

but i did feel God's green lights on this project from that initial conversation at christmas. -from the moment i saw the look in monica dawn's eyes -her creative mind & eye immediately running with this idea -turning it from this one feature photo into a full gala and exhibit

we shook and hugged on the idea at the christmas dinner, and then when time and life allowed in the new year, we started on a hunt for a sponsor, and put an initial call out for volunteer models

i can't say my potential models or sponsors received my idea as enthusiastically as my co-workers did at the christmas dinner. my co-workers understood my vision immediately

but sponsors...

well, when i mentioned underwear models... wrong ideas seem first to surface in the imaginations of prospective sponsors -and misconstrued, i recognized how it could put a local business sponsor in question with the community

it seemed counterproductive to try to explain to someone who didn't understand write away, how innocent, creative, beautiful, honest, humorous the visual narrative was...

and so didn't God work around this in the most creative way, -as what we ended up with was... an anonymous sponsor (thank you!)

(sponsor;check. now for models...)

i anticipated the most difficult model to recruit would be the grandma we would ask to model diapers for senior citizens, and what i thought, is that i'd be spending hours, possibly days, at our local senior citizen centers searching for that one spirited, carefree soul that would think this was something fun to be a part of

first few requests went something like this

"no way!" "are you kidding?" "what? i don't get it"

but i just knew that someone, someone, someone, someone, would eventually step up to the plate

-sure enough, monica dawn called me with the greatest green light information, "my grandma agreed to be our diaper model" (you rock grandma bragg!)

(senior diaper/check... infant/toddler diaper hunt begins..)

my sister, enrollment director at a pre-school, with access to many families with young children put a call out on our behalf, and in no time, we had our toddler diaper & pull-ups' models (thank you moms, thank you girls!)

then more of monica's family stepped up to serve as our day-of-the-week and new mom underwear models

a beautiful co-worker that said she might be our thong model -came through with the commitment

my courageous, beautiful mom agreed to be our 60's underwear model

and it seemed that within a stretch of two weeks, we had almost all of our models lined up and committed, save only a search for our maternity model

meanwhile, i'm working on finding a private~ish, safe, attractive outdoor location for our photo shoot because in my vision, it was definitely an environmental; not a studio shot

but, by the way clouds were starting to cluster and darken in pleasanton, i started thinkin' maybe God intended an indoor kind of thing

again.. when you mention underwear models in an area this conservative, no one like.. opens their doors, hands you a key

so, without lying, but without being overly specific, i met with a property owner here in pleasanton, explained our needs, explained the amount of models/families, explained the amount of space/time we would need, explained it was a fundraiser for the tri valley haven, and

more green lights (thank you vera!)

-so- on the rainy, cold, day of our february photo shoot, we had a warm, lovely, empty office building with freshly painted walls and new hardwood floors.

took a few of us to carry in the equipment for the shoot... the lights, the green screen, the bleachers... (thank you! kelly, danielle, taryn, rachel..)

and of course we had music and snacks (thanks girls! thanks mom!)

butt, ~most importantly: we had all of our beautiful, real and very wonderful volunteer underwear models.

well, almost all. 8 out of the envisioned 9.


-yes... i could settle for 8.... but what an awful feeling consumed me at the thought of this defeat; this giant compromise






and so thank you to the extra pair of beige, tiger stripped, waist-huggers, my mom brought along

i was able to put my butt on the line with the rest of our volunteer underwear models.

and this!

this allowed monica to put her God given gift in full gear and start shooting.

what a treat to see her genius in action! -such a gift with people of all ages; with posing,

such a gift for creating the mood and capturing the story. (clearly her grandmother's granddaughter)

and great sports all around, because, what we models had to work with was:
a cold, steel, bleacher and big blank green screen

what we had to imagine was:

all of our beautiful butts on a fallen tree, in the great outdoors. -because thank you to God's green lights and monica's green screen

even though we were inside for the actual shoot,
the photograph stays true to my original vision; outside.


9 real females, infant to senior, diapers to diapers; -life in the great outdoors.


***


speaking of life

that is the title of a magnificent poem written by barbara bragg, our senior citizen diaper model, inspired by our feature photograph

LIFE

Life goes by in the blink of an eye,
from diapers to diapers then gone.
But the time between
takes your breath away,
as you make your way along.

Little girls grow and dream of the day
when they turn into women at last.
But the years seem so long
as they go day by day,
Oh why don't they move by fast?

Then you finally grow up,
wed the love of your life
and start a family
and the babies come and the diapers start
that's the job of a loving wife.

Then you nuzzle their neck
and you kiss their cheeks,
and rock them to sleep at night.
And you dry their tears and calm their fears
and teach them to do what's right

Then the babies grow up
and have babes of their own
and grandma is there to jump in
Because duty calls and you can't not help,
and it's back to diapers again.

Now the babes have grown up
and have lives of their own
but grandma's in diapers again,
But this time it's different and not any fun,
'cause the diapers are now her own.

Yes, life goes by in the blink of an eye,
from diapers to diapers then gone,
But the memories we leave with the ones we love,
go on and on and on.



***


she gets it.


and what a great memory we all created together in the making of this extraordinary photograph.

i noticed, that while some of our younger models were heading to the bathroom to change clothes, feeling a little self conscious

grandma bragg was as carefree and spirited as i want to be... stayed write there in the room, and put on her diaper and hopped up on the bleacher, and visited with all of us, and just helped create such a comfortable, cool, playful, joyful environment

have added her, and monica, and everyone at, and everyone in this photograph to my personal list of she~roes.


TBTG! happy easter. ~amen.

posted by SHE @ 10:46 AM 4 comments