THOUGHTS ON SEX for (me!) sandra, tvgp
i have them.
and so i watched with interest when charlie rose interviewed a couple scientitific researchers on the topic
the upshot was pathetic i thought. went something like this:
they start with the question of what men/women desire; what turns them on sexually?
and they take a group of heterosexual males, and have them watch a variety of movies w/sexual content -two men together, two women together, a man and a woman.. animals mating..
you get the picture.
and based on bio-feedback they conclude that heterosexual males are mostly.. almost exclusively.. turned on by watching women. and this is what men say.. and it matches with the bio-feedback reports
but when it came to heterosexual women, there was a discrepancy between what they said, and what the bio-feedback reported. so that, while
they said they were turned on by male/female couples only, what the bio-feedback mechanisms reported was that...
-and this is my favorite part-
" women are turned on by everything!" (i'm exaggerating to make their point).
now..
exactly because the barrier to entry in the blogosphere has been lowered so dramatically
even
~ i ~ can share my thoughts, ideas, opinions, observations and arguments on this topic.
first thought.. how silly. like.. human beings were mating, masturbating, having desires and enjoying sex long before the invention of film or tv
to use sexually stimulating movies as a research method will show only what desires/stimulation can be MANIPULATED/TRIGGERED (and i imagine this changes with culture, age, ..long list here).
there is a big difference in my mind between natural/organic and manipulated/triggered. we can use hunger/appetite as an example
human beings were eating food long before we became bombarded with food commercials, advertisements, a fast food restaurant on every corner and 24 hour food shows
so to sit people in front of commercials or movies about food will ONLY show what visual triggers manipulate/trigger specific reactions -which may or may not- be related to the viewing person's natural/organic appetite
it would be more interesting to see -in the absense of any/all- visual triggers. -what then, happens in terms of true appetite for which foods..
but laughing here, because.. may turn out with similar results.. heterosexual men want only women and women want everything
but getting back to point:
because i've done my own scientific research on my own sexual appetite and desires and have discovered the following.
i like it.
but more importantly, what i've found, is that my sexual appetite; my becoming sexually aroused is not tied to watching sexually stimulating visual triggers at all. i'm not really one for movies which provoke in that manner
i like a plot
but rather, and most definitely, and without a doubt: my sexual arousal seems at least 90% related to my hormone and menstrual cycle. -with the same accuracy i could predict my periods (prior to peri-menopause), i can predict my sexual desire
very, very, and highly cyclical.
this is not to say that if you hooked me up to bio-feedback machines that i would not be turned on -physically- by what i see
in the same way, that if you hook me up to bio-feedack machines and have me watch a cooking show, it will no doubt demonstrate that my appetite has been manipulated/triggered
or if you hook me up and have me watch people sleeping, it will demonstrate that suddenly i feel tired
or if you hook me up to bio feedback machines and have me watch people fighting, it might show that i've become upset
or if you hook me up to biofeedback machines and have me watch mother's caring for their newborns, i'll probably demonstrate high levels of love reaction..
THE ONLY THING WE LEARN THIS WAY, is the same thing we already know
the same thing that has created the bombardment of ADVERTISEMENTS shoved in our faces everyday
we can be manipulated through visual triggers. some work better than others. different visual stimulation works differently on different people, with common denominators here and there
he's manipulated by the carl's jr burger. she's manipulated by the chocolate cake. the vegetarian is manipulated by the giant pasta salad
"surprise!"
in my own scientific research.. i've found that during a certain time of the month, robin williams could stand naked before me and i'd just want a hug
but during another time of the month, i'm willing to drive ten-thousand miles just to lick his ankle
it is very predictable.
i treat my sexual appetite much like all the others:
when i am tired, i sleep.
when i am hungry, i eat.
when i have energy, i create.
when i'm horny, i self-cultivate. (little euphamism from christiane northrup).
and these all seem like natural/organic appetites. and i honor them all to the degree i can within the greater demands/responsibilities/restrictions of real life
mothering
working
living in the day to day world.. following write time & place manners to what degree i can
i don't eat, for example, even if i have an appetite, when i'm cashering.. i wait until my break.
i don't cultivate, when i'm eating.. etc.
so: there you have it. sandra kay's scientific research on sex:
hypothesis: women's sexual arousal is directly tied to their hormone/menstrual cycle; with predictable peaks and valleys
experiment: honor (within social constraints) any/all sexual appetites by self-cultivating (if you're single like me) or w/significant other (if you have one)
and write down day/time. also write down day/time of monthy period. do this for several months in a row.. or years. -really, this should be a life-time experiment i'm thinking..
observe: any patterns
conclude: sandra kay is write again!
ITZ~ITZ A HEART by (me!) sandra, tvgp
-so-
i am VERY EXCITED about our new neighbors.. directly next door to amelia's
beautiful family opening a very cool, very original, custom design & artist-collaborative t-shirt shop
they've had a successful online, e-commerce business for over a year, and so are now opening their first brick n' mortar store
and, as you probably know by now, any empty canvas gets my immediate attention, and the very second i learned that they collaborate with artists for t-shirt designs, my imagination went into a mary j blige dance number
the very first and quite mandatory t-shirt idea, of course! is:
eat, write & exercise. i'll be wearing one for my upcoming readings.
and then.. most definitely want to create a line of itz~itz designs! the picture here shows my very rough draft idea for itz~itz a heart
i plan to pretty this idea up some.. and am also working on a few other itz~itz shapes/designs
like: "itz~itz a beautiful fish!" (among a long list of others).
anyway.. how cool is that? at thriving ink, they take artist's designs, include them in a data base for customers to choose from
so customer can pick n' choose: " i want that design, in this color, on that style/color t-shirt"
and royalty is paid to the artist. "I LOVE IT!!" -creative fires lit and flaming.
PLUS i love that you can order both individual custom t's OR order in bulk.. or awkward numbers in between
write now, their storefront windows are covered with paper while the inside is being magically (magically, as in several people doing lots of hard work) transformed into a new artsy -warehouse-ish feeling/looking state of the art custom t-shirt shop. my understanding is that it will have brick, wood, steel -all the materials/colors that mysteriously attract artists and inspire creativity
and in addition to t-shirts.. jeans & other attire
can't wait to see!
a prayer and blessing for our new neighbor's.. "great success wished for you! at thriving ink"
~amen!~
MY BOOK DEAL & "SAVE THE DATES!" by (me!) sandra, tvgp
slowly spreading the word about my first book (not including the poetry one/no longer in handcrafted print). -got a note from my beautiful friend lisolette on facebook that read
book deal? details please..
so, YES, i have a book and here's the deal:
i grew impatient with the traditional publishing method: submitting queries/proposals to agents and publishers
finding only rejections in my mailbox. -i knew if i kept that up i'd grow too disspirited to continue
"so n' so got 36 rejections before s/he got published!"
i've heard that story, with a different horrific number (75 times! 83 times!) -and a different author's name, a million times.
-good for so n' so- i don't have that kind of patience; that strong of heart; that thick of skin; or that kind of time.
so, true to my nature, i took matters in my own hands and have self-published through wingspanpress.com
i'm familiar with wingspan and david collins through the publishing/distribution work he's done for karen hogan's annually published anthologies: literary harvest's (see books on my website, writeousmom.com).
and thank you to david collins and wingspan press, my book will be available for sale and on the market late april/early may 2009. -in just a matter of weeks!
I AM VERY PROUD AND EXCITED! eat, write & exercise is a collection of my best creative non-fiction stories, + a few special poems, + a few select sandyland cartoons from the archives, written by me, and illustrated by my extraordinary artist friend nancy eddinger.
it is a fun, funny, uplifting, insightful, candid, honest and creative collection of some ..30+.. quick, short, easy-to-read stories, most of which feature my family/friends/co-workers & neighbors while highlighting via settings, this magical place we live: pleasanton, california (the tri valley...)
and because i'm self-publishing -which gives the author enormous creative freedom-
i was able to do several things that most publishers/agents would discourage:
i wrote & published using my own/organically grown style of grammar, style and punctuation.
i included photos/graphics i wanted
i put my mug on the cover (photo taken by my daughter/magically altered by alyssa retodo of icvdm), even though i'm not a recognized professional or celebrity. ( i like to think of myself as "pre-famous" -thank you)
i included really mushy/gushy, cliche' and over the top heartfelt dedications..
-because i can. because i wanted to. because i mean it.
i organized/edited myself
i put comments on the back from comments left on my blog, which will make sense to some/but not to others, because of the colloquial abbreviations (people who know, know, and people who don't, will ask and catch on.. -this is my thinking).
it is quite specifically creative non-fiction which is less recognized as a genre than popular others (my local barnes & noble for example, does not YET have a creative non-fiction section, but does have literature/biography/memoir/history/mystery, etc. -and non-fiction in mostly "how-to & documentary format, but no creative non-fiction) AND all of the creative non-fiction i've included was first crafted on this blog -and BLOGS, while growing in popularity/familiarity, are still relatively new
-so, i'm branching out, voluntarily, on purpose, and at my own expense, into what is unfamiliar territory for many readers
but do so in hopes of contributing, in my unique way, to the overall introduction/popularisation of creative non-fiction and blogs, PLUS helping, in what ways i can, to pave the way for future others...
self-publishing also means self-promoting, so here we go:
SAVE THE DATES: YOU'RE INVITED
come one, come all, come as you are..
come to one, come to others, come near and come far:
EAT, WRITE & EXERCISE
preorders/signings/readings/RELEASE & celebrations
LITERARY ROW: preorders
sat. april 4th, 1-2:30pm
5353 sunol blvd. pleasanton (senior center across from raley's)
meet over 30 authors + visual art show/pleasanton poetry, prose & art festival.
FREE & OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
MAMAPALOOZA CELEBRATION: readings/signings (or preorders if the book isn't in yet..)
sat. may 9th 6-8pm -featuring debra knox
amelia's gourmet deli & bistro, downtown pleasanton
55 w. angela street, ste 110
for moms/daughters/sisters/friends/nieces/cousins/neighbors...
2+ hours entertainment: music, art, dancing, readings, ... good old fashioned social, creative fun!
BOOK RELEASE PARTY!!
sat. may 23rd, 11am -hosted by & thank you to judy wheeler
@ TOWNE CENTER BOOKS, on main street, downtown pleasanton
drinks, dessert and fun readings/stories from eat, write & exercise...
IN MAY on IN A WORD on LOCAL TV CHANNEL 30:
i join my friends and tv hosts, kathy cordova and jim ott, to talk even more about eat, write & exercise.. in a word airs on tv30 m-f 6:30a, 1p & 9:30p
THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR LOVE & SUPPORT!!
as i say in my book:
every reader is a blessing.
every comment is a gift.
and every self-published book is a small miracle.
~hallelujah & amen!
DEAR LORD HEAR MY PRAYER (mine!) sandra, tvgp
please keep my robin williams in safe hands. my prayer is for a successful surgery and 100% recovery. for this i pray.
~amen.
