SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

WHAT'S BLOOD, got to do, got to do with it... by (me!) sandra, topps, writeousmom

 that's the song playing in my mind, tina turner's, what's love got to do with it, but i need to change and play with the words to make my point

my promise

my promise is this: when it comes to true love:  TIME  -quality time together; getting to know each other is far drastically more important a factor; than blood; biological connections themselves, do not result in love.

we live in a time when great emphasis is placed on  -blood; dna..  our ancestry

i repeat here, when it comes to my day to day life, my decision-making, my behaviors, my relationships..  on and on.  -being a CHRISTIAN is far, far, far more important and relevant than any 'dna' report results sharing about ancestors i never have and never will meet; living in times severely different from today in places i'll never visit. 

but i bring this up for a different reason.  my motivation is a conversation i had some time ago with our daughter in  law; mother of our 3rd grandson..

we are a blended family  -they are family through marriage not blood

and i was holding, loving on our youngest grandson..   staring into his eyes..  falling deeper in love..

when our daughter in law commented..   [something like, not verbatim]; bet you'll love it even more when your daughter and son have babies..

      did she say 'even more?'     maybe yes, maybe no, but my immediate (and admittedly potentially incorrect interpretation) was that she was making a distinction between loving a biological grandbaby vs a through marriage grandbaby

my immediate internal reaction was..   defensive..

another promise i can make write here and now:   i could not love and adore all 3 of our grandchildren more than i do..  i am crazy in love with each one!

do i love this precious grandchild from God i'm holding in my arms..   less than i will one day love my future biological grandchildren from God

this is a very clear and very easy no.     

but not without an important distinction; not without a caveat..

i have known my son, via marriage, only 8 years..    but we have spent a lot of time together..  living together for a bit.. traveling together; long road trip together...   deep conversations and many of them..

i have known my daughter in law, his wife, only 6 years (?)..    and we have spent -some- wonderful time together..  weeks at time, 

i love them both! and now i love all three of them!  son, daughter, grandson..    no blood relations needed or required

the reason IT WILL BE DIFFERENT when my own, biological adult children, gift us with grandchildren is because..

i have know them  -deeply known them-  and crazy loved them from inside my womb!  the relationships are long and deep..  from skinned knees & first days of school (pre-school, elementary, middle, high, college..)  -every dentist appointment, birthday party, Christmas, broken heart, best friend,   -favorite shows, what makes them laugh, cry, scare, brave..   the list is too long, but you get the idea..   years and years worth of time together...

this TIME TOGETHER usurps any and all other factors, like dna, when it comes to true love.

so, while my LOVE, will not be greater with biological grandchildren..  i have no doubt, it will be different; enormously rewarding: getting to see my babies, have babies..  when my parents graduate to great grandparents..

what i share here has been proven out time and time and time again..   just sharing this common knowledge in my own words, based on my own life; adding to the choir of love songs

LOVE DOES NOT REQUIRE, is not at all dependent on a biological/blood connection. 

it is most definitely not: the more blood you share, the more love you feel..

it is most definitely: 

a great pleasure, rewarding honor getting to know and fall in love with each other; which is directly and inextricably dependent on time. 

wait.

     in no time at all! i fell in love with our grandsons..

3 seconds tops!   love at first sight! 

i crazy loved you from the very start!

  if it's not reliant on time?  nor dependent on blood..

could it be...  love's a natural spring from our hearts? 

 

      what's blood, got to do, got to do with it..  what's blood but a flesh consideration.. 

In  i-spend-a-lot-of-time-with-Jesus, name..      God IS love.

hallelujah & amen. 

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 10:47 AM 0 comments

the point being... #vellumdays

 vellum days are not exclusively attached to vacation days; those are included.  vellum days are finding a thoughtful surprise welcome home gift; family dinners; romantic dinner for two; crazy good left over lasagna & italian sausage for breakfast; a little league game, delighting in the flowers and trees in bloom; "we made it to spring!"   - 'the heart seen' in the ricotta; listening to great music while spring cleaning the house, snuggling on the couch and watching a great movie/series...     some vellum days present themselves quite naturally, but we create them too; with intention and purpose..

p.s.'s

* taco, cat, goat, cheese, pizza..     "thank you!" here to my bmf, carla for the recommendation; big hit with the grandkids!  and "thank you!" here also to youtube..   watched as a family, how to play, before getting started..

* speaking of "thank you's" and youtube..

   

i listened to this album; both sides, while doing some pretty thorough, detailed spring cleaning around the house.  OUTSTANDING ALBUM!   earth, wind & fire, gratitude.   -remember i used to teach dancing to children..  movers & shakers; well, maybe not this week, or even this year..  but i am inspired to come up with some choreography to the song gratitude on this album..  have the kids perform at church..     hallelujah & amen

* also,   snuggled on the couch, and binge-watched this:  

and book shelves and visual platforms are all pretty saturated, in my experience and opinion, with apocalyptic theme stories,  but..  WOW from both my husband and i on this hulu original.  so engaging! well cast, well told, well paced..     look forward to season II     "thank you!" here to solomon, AKA, FIL [Father In Law] for the recommendation. 

this is the day the Lord has made..

we have re-joyced!   and are glad in it...

hallelujah & amen. 

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 10:11 AM 0 comments

 

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 9:21 AM 0 comments

potty talk table of 4 (robert! sandra! jack! n taryn!) #magicofmacys

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 11:03 AM 0 comments

give me some classic rock! lessons from the professor of.. for (me!) -sandra, topps, writeousmom

 pretend you are a passenger in my jeep, this past saturday morning, k.

i ALWAYS bring my phone, press a button or two which allows me to play and listen to my spotify [COMMERCIAL FREE] music playlist instead of having to

click.. commercials... click.. more commercials...  click, click..  is anyone playing music? anyone...

so, 

i rarely, if ever, listen to the radio.

but what happen saturday..  , as you know, my imaginary passenger..     i held my phone near the radio in my jeep..  wouldnt link.  tried several times,  -exact same buttons i use every time, in the exact same order...   no link.   tried a few new pathways...  nothing.

this was not a leisurely drive, for the fun of it..   we have an appointment to get to.  with no time left to figure out the glitch..

  -surrendered to listening to the radio..

KLOVE is preprogrammed, but,   -there is just some Christian music that..

well, if you are currently in the pit  -the music will resonate..  it will validate...  it will commiserate..

      why are you drivin' so slow    /says you, my imaginary passenger

but let's say you've graduated out of the pit..   you are in your 'more than a conqueror' season of life..

listening to still-in-the-pit music is the last thing your heart/soul/spirit want to do..

i look at you, my pretend passenger..  glance and press the button..

"can't stand to wallow..."  i say with a smile..

and Thank God, i also have 98.5 classic rock pre-programmed   -so, with the press of a button, the vibe of our ride went from a slow, whiny wallowing...

to 

      are you trying to get a ticket?   /says you,  my imaginary passenger   why are you driving so fast?

[insert mutual laughter here]

but then,  -we started getting to learn 'about' a song that would be coming up..     a little history..

and the first wonderful thing we both loved, is that..  the radio announcer..  he explained how he doesn't necessarily like the term  'one hit wonder'

rather, he likes to call the songs/artist that fit in that well understood category lightning in a bottle.

immediate interest and respect!..    one hit wonder has a subtle critical tone  -it acknowledges a rare success while simultaneously dissin' it for the same reason. 

the attitude embedded is, unless you can do a countless number of remarkable things.. don't do anything remarkable at all

i agree with the attitude embedded in the announcer's lightning in a bottle philosophy..

if you only do one (or only a few) remarkable things   -lightning!    

while your fans may, quite naturally, long for more, the absence of it should do nothing to rob or diminish the impact of that original, remarkable lightning..

   we agreed, didn't we imaginary passenger..   and listened intently to who we know by now goes by, 

the professor of rock    -super cool name.

the professor then shared an audio clip of an interview he did with the artist of a song, he regards as lightning in a bottle..

in the audio clip, the song-writer shares how the song came to be in the first place..   paraphrase to capture the essence..

     i had done something, i dont know what, but must have pissed someone off, on the road..  then they chased, caught up to, threatened me..   i locked all my doors trying to stay safe..

the professor of rock chimes in with,  'road rage'

there is more detail..   but then, the artist and song are formally introduced..

a song we havent heard for...   forever, but is IMMEDIATELY familiar as a treasure in the archives..

and as we are nearing the parking lot, on time for the appointment..

CARS by gary numan is boomin' from the speakers..   

and we hear the lyrics, and hear the song, in a very new, much more meaningful and enriching way..

never knew ANY of the background to this remarkable, cool, very catchy song.. 

"Thank You!" Professor of Rock!  Gary Numan..   98.5...

i will make a point to find your program in the future..

and wouldn't know about it at all without that glitch..   God using all things for good,   yes..

hallelujah & amen. 

*****

will be a while before i can organize pix from our recent trip to puerto ricoOOooo; but, have a short list of fun things to write about in the interim..   the above, one of the them.

****

tbc. 

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 1:21 PM 0 comments

#vellumdays in austin, texas (family vacation memories!) cont.

   *****   every visit, every meal, every activity; every day exceptional in austin!  ******

was recently asked, 'what do you mean by vellum days?'

we mean this:   vellum is a see through paper.  if you print out 3 calendar days on this clear paper, with 1 day = great memories;  next day = great day, 3rd day = fun plans.    and you cut them out, and place them on your calendar..    and then just slide the 3 days over, one day at a time..

captures what our vacation was like..      many great days, turned into great memories..  all in a row.

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 3:09 PM 0 comments

irony of our cultures ignorance & results of non-stop asking by (me!) sandra #ladybirdjohnsonwildflowercenter

wildflowerly grateful for this experience; family time..   memories.   hallelujah & amen

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 10:13 AM 0 comments

"weeEEeee did it!" -passengers in autonomous driving automobile; waymo (husband, son, daughter & me!)

 that's been my light-hearted joke of late,  'we're still a little bit amish'   -and i find myself saying it more and more frequently; especially when/if it gets a laugh.

the most recent time i said it, my husband and i were having our boarding passes scanned at the airport; we were the only ones with paper boarding passes; the only ones not using our phones

as i handed the kind checker-in person my paper, i said with a smile, 

we're practically amish arent we.

and before that, i had a conversation with my son..  there's going to be a new colony of amish that result from this driverless car era..

the people who dare and move on..   and the people, like me, who want to remain in the driver seat.

****

i know very little about amish people, their customs, ways, history..   i only use it to describe..

well, from what i do know, they still use horses/carriages for transportation.   that might seem absurd at first..  but, if i were to place a few pictures here, of miles and miles of parked traffic, car accidents, receipts from gas stations, smog checks, car repairs.. license/registration fees..  people driving around for hours and hours trying to find a parking spot...

i see both sides.  i still would not want to clean up accumulated horse poop..  would not want to live without shelter, windshield wipers, AC/Heat, radio, a cup holder...  automatic windows..   5-75mph options, when the road is clear;   but, i respect their way of life; for them..    i would never insist on changing it.  -i am only borrowing it, if you will, to make a point

initially, before i learned about the religious history, i just thought..   the world is moving at a rapid pace  -or rather, the rotations of the earth might not be speeding up, but the technology, our ways of life, as humans beings  -the speed at which it is all introduced and employed

and obsolete with newer, faster, better technology introduced monthly  weekly   daily    hourly;

that speed.. is  -faster than some of us are comfortable with. faster than our ability to understand and acclimate.  so, in my imagination, i pictured everyone, in the early 1900's say,  -acclimating and moving together at an agreed upon pace, and then cars were introduced

and that's when a small percentage of the population said,  that's okay. you go on ahead...  we'll stay here.  -and they just hopped off the conveyor belt of life.  people who embraced cars, started driving..  forward; into the future.

those who did not, hopped off the belt, hopped back on their horses and still ride around..   & around in the early 1900's even today. 

   -it is in that context, that i use the word/term am-ish.

so, if life is more conveyor belt, than circle:  i was quite ready to jump off myself the first time i heard about driverless cars.   you go on ahead..  i'll hop off here.. in 2025..  stay in the driver seat.   -send a post card from mars when you get there, okay..

i still want to have paper and stamps and letters and post cards.. and united states postal service; can we keep those?  like, if i do start a new amish community, 

we will remain in the driver seat of our automobiles and people in the near future will marvel at how we still pen our own love letters and write our own poetry  -on paper!   but!

we keep amazon.   every amish community embraces a percentage of the modern conveniences, is my understanding.  Good God, i still can't believe how i can press a button and have products delivered to my front porch!

anyway, 

i have felt..   much like i'm riding a scooter.  this is the best analogy.  one foot rested and riding effortlessly, in perfect harmony with the speed of life and technology

the other foot pumping, pumping, doing all the work...    wanting to stay grounded.   one foot in 2025; one foot in 2000...   working to help me catch up

but!

happy to report, that i had a recent experience in which i felt quite like,  as if, 

 -there are those stretches, when you are riding a scooter, that you pump, pump.. push, push, and with enough momentum achieved  -you can place both feet in resting position and just glide effortlessly for a while..

and that is exactly what it  -later-  felt like, after having my first and currently only experience as a passenger in a

autonomous driving vehicle.    -confess to struggling here with a vocabulary that works for me..

'self' driving doesnt work..  a car is not a 'self'   -i reserve that for humans.

driverless, kinda works..    i mean, 

"My God! this is the most bizarre thing i have ever done!!"    -my reaction to watching the steering wheel move, but no one in the driver seat moving it.

literally looks as if a ghost!   -it is the strangest, strangest..    it is just undoing what i have been seeing and experiencing for nearly 60 years!

crazy.

but, also report, it never felt like an invisible robot was driving.. it did not at all feel robotic.  it really did feel as if a human being was doing the driving..  felt like a very safe, good human being driver was driving..

the subtle adjustments, turns, accelerations, slowing down... negotiating space and obstacles; honoring the rules of the road..  highly nuanced

i'm still processing the experience even as i write this..

mostly with enormous gratitude.  a first! even at 59 years old...   and more importantly, a first  -shared with my husband, son and daughter..     a wonderful experience/memory together..   not likely to forget.

my daughter had already acclimated..  i admire that; very proud of her!     -it was a first for the rest of us.

and, as it was a first time,  -we only went about 3 blocks...     -but i would be comfortable going 5..

i would do it again.   everyone would was the consensus... 

i'm seeing some great benefits..     amazing potential...

and thank here also, cleo abrams..   i believe watching her youtube/podcast where she introduced her audience to autonomous driving vehicles in san francisco helped ready me..    that, and my BMF, carla and her husband russ, who were the first friends to share video they had experienced this..  passengers in an autonomous driving vehicle.. in Arizona, i believe.   brave. 

writing a scooter on the conveyor belt of life...     working to keep up...   -for 3 blocks, all of me was in the 21st century

"weeeeeeee did it!"    -#waymo, austin texas.

all of this is a "Thank You!" prayer..      hallelujah & amen

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 4:06 PM 0 comments

so, i called 911; but could not text the dispatcher these pictures (me!) -sandra mickanen

on march 10th, 2025, i ran a quick errand to our local CVS @ Berryessa Corners.  When i parked and glanced over, i saw the scene in the picture above.  i thought the man was deceased and called 911.  -i am aware this call is recorded and so hope we can all use it to advance our current 911 system  -namely, i hope sharing this results in UPDATING OUR SYSTEMS SO THAT WE CAN SEND PICTURES to 911 DISPATCHERS

immediately the dispatcher asks me to identify..

an age, a size/weight, an ethnicity..  what clothes..     -i am not good at this.

i know my own psychology  -and my mind will, in an effort to prevent a return of PTSD symptoms, avoid 'identifying'        explanation/awareness here.

a reluctance to identify is my new cerebral/spiritual default, which i must consciously override in order to provide descriptions..

eventually, i was able to successfully relate the clothes he was wearing, etc.

BUT! IMAGINE how much more quickly, efficiently, and more importantly, accurately, the information could be gathered if i were able to just send the 911 dispatcher the picture i had taken vs. using all that time and energy to  -best guess-  his age, ethnicity, height, weight, etc.

  anyone keeping track?  in addition to hoping we can get a set time for public speaking times at city council meetings,  in addition to dignity acres emergency campground; perhaps a perfect candidate in the picture above  -who, 

wait a minute. not deceased.  -he just moved

i hope we can update our 911 system, so that we can send pictures to dispatchers.  wow!  to how helpful this could potentially be.

****

-recently returned from one of my favorite vacations of all my lifetime..   look forward to organizing pictures/memories and posting them soon...

Glory be to God's name..       let's restore everywhere, and everyone we can to magnify that glory

*****

works in progress:  letters sent certified.      -remain bewildered at how difficult to reach the appropriate person..  just to get owner names/addresses.. 'thank you awesome elva!'   i am aware, that without a attorney's/lawyers letterhead, our letter could easily go ignored; i wrote it anyway.  -but have learned, that sometimes, legal threats, are the only language some people will regard.  

To:  Barchester Silicon Valley LP  ONE CVS DR, Woonsocket, RI  02895                                  FROM:

                Re: 2514 Berryessa Rd, San Jose, CA 95132                                                                Beautify Berryessa Neighborhood Assc.

To: Safeway Inc.  PO BOX 800729 Dallas TX 75380-0729                                                           P.O. Box 610192, San Jose, Ca 95161

                Re: 2558 Berryessa Rd., San Jose, CA 95132                                                                BeautifyBerryessa@gmail.com

To: Tesoro Sierra Props LLC, 300 Concord Plaza Dr., San Antonio, TX 78216

                Re:  1140 N Capitol Ave, San Jose, Ca 95133

To: Anderson Yee  L C Trustee & ET AL,  1678 42^nd Ave, San Francisco, CA 94122

                Re:  2516 Berryessa Rd., San Jose, CA 95132

 

03/07/2025

Dear San Jose, Ca, Berryessa Corner Business Owners:

I write on behalf of my husband and I, and countless neighbors we have conversated with over the past several years.

Many of us only visit the Safeway at Berryessa Corners for ‘emergency’ shopping only.  We have all started to do our ‘regular’ shopping at grocery stores much further away, in some cases other cities.  The reason for this is because Berryessa Corners no longer feels clean, safe, welcoming.  It has been on a slow decline for a long time; it appears neglected.    In fact, my husband and I used to frequent the pizza parlor there; the Chinese Restaurant, a hair salon.. CVS and we now go to other plazas for all those things.

We have learned there are multiple owners for Berryessa Corner Businesses  -Not just ONE owner responsible.  We are asking ALL OWNERS of every Berryessa Corner Business to PLEASE CONTRIBUTE TO A CLEAN-UP EFFORT, so that we may return to shopping at our local Safeway, and return to visiting the restaurants and salons also.  We see the following:

Retaining walls, in desperate need of repair.       

Landscaping, in desperate need of attention

Desperate need for graffiti removal (and maintenance of removal on ongoing basis)   

 Sidewalks in desperate need of a pressure wash

Walls in desperate need of a fresh coat of paint.   

Desperately need to replace old worn out signs with new modern signs

The parking lot, in desperate need of new pavement.   

 And most importantly,  Berryessa Corners is in desperate need of security to prevent panhandlers, loiterers, homeless from hanging out; sleeping; defecating/urinating on the sidewalks   -ultimately causing a huge reduction in the number of paying customers who once shopped at Berryessa Corners.

We are so grateful to Beautify Berryessa, a neighborhood association devoted to putting on the brakes  -to stopping the current decline in its tracks, and heading us all back in a healthy, clean, safe, beautiful direction.

We recognize that goal requires making contact with each of you; bringing this concern to your attention.  And asking you to take action.

.   Please Acknowledge Receipt of this letter by providing us with the correct person (name, title, best contact info) from your business, that we should contact to help us move forward.    beautifyberryessa@gmail.com

  “Thank You!”   Robert & Sandra Mickanen, o/b/o:   BBNA       

posted by SANDRA MICKANEN @ 9:39 AM 0 comments