write thing for the write reasons by (me!) sandra, tvgp
how many times this scenario has played out in front of me over the years, working in retail, and in the public, I cannot count:parent/toddler -and the toddler doesn't want to put back a toy (object of desire), and the parent defaults to, "unless you put it back, you won't be able to...(something the child desires to do or have later).
-and this is fine; write. because a toddler can't quite receive and process the longer detailed/moral reasons he or she or they should put something back. and sometimes this negotiation between parent and child takes longer than others; and sometimes the stakes are higher than others..
but the bottom line, is that the -reason- the child will ultimately put the object back, is because they want something else later.
and the teaching process which takes place over the next couple/few years of the childs life, is in my opinion, one of the most important and fascinating ones
as the child progresses and evolves from doing the write thing because they want something else later to doing the write thing because
-it is the write thing to do. whether you get something else later or not..
-and this vocabulary, way of teaching, is very common..
unless you (variable here) finish your vegetables; finish your homework; clean up your room; write the thank you card... etc, etc.
you wont get to...
***
and some children stay stuck here for a very long time. only/exclusively motivated to do a given thing if it means gaining something else later. everything requires a reward or bribe of some sort..
***
signs of maturity, evolving, however, are marked and should be celebrated, when the child no longer requires a bribe; a carrot stick; a high stakes short negotiation, or low stakes long negotiation..
but does the write thing; because it is the write thing to do.
to clean up the spill, for example, of their own initiative; to say please and thank you, of their own initiative; exercising kindness, thoughtfulness, patience, gratitude, appreciation over entitlement, etc.
and it is a beautiful thing to witness.. how the child will start to develop an understanding/trust in their parent over time, and respond to requests without need for bribes
-knowing explanations will come in time. gradually self-motivating.. self-correcting... self-governing
***
and all people -toddlers to adults- are also, in my opinion,
children of God. -and sometimes, I see the same principles, lessons, teachings at work between God and his adult children, as I do, human parents and their toddlers
-adults, seeking/asking.. and so, what do I get if I (variable here) read the Bible, go to church, pray, walk in love
what's in it for me? whats the reward? talk me into it... make me want to... threaten me, bribe me..
and there are in fact rewards; motivations; reasons..
but,
signs of maturity, and a human evolving, are marked, and should be celebrated, when the adult child of God no longer requires a bribe; a carrot stick; a negotiation; a threat
and starts living write, because it is the write thing to do.
***
it seems to me we each have an internal compass; an internal mechanisms which, when tuned into, and regarded properly; serves as a guide
it is not exclusively conscience; but includes..
and,
the reward, at least one of the many rewards for putting in the time/work/study, is
perpetual peace of mind; and a contagiously happy heart.
an ability to walk in love; every step, every day... to self motivate and self correct and self govern
***
there are these promises: all things will be worked out for good; comfort for sufferings; joy for tears; beauty for ashes; improved relationships; peace of mind, happy heart, no weapons formed against prevailing; inability to remember/experience shame; forgiveness of sins; the ability to forgive others; eternal life... I could go on
but it takes time to learn and understand and process..
what a beautiful, beautiful thing however, to witness children of all ages, when they do the write thing for no other reason than
it is the write thing to do.
***
In Jesus -did the write thing, not only without a known reward/bribe/threat.. but suffered for it; trusting in God.. died..
and,
rose again!'s name, amen!
posted by SHE @ 6:50 AM
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