Tuesday, February 07, 2017

SPIRITUAL TREK in SAN LEANDRO ~ with (me!) sandra, tvgp

a new earth

pg 41: life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. how do you know this is experience you need? because this is the experience you are having at this moment.


the divine creative choreography that lands me, in 2017, in san leandro, California is too long & complicated to itemize; but I know.    God whispered to (me!), the same thing he whispered to Joyce Meyer, but at a different time and for unique reasons

God whispered,   it is time.


if you understand the creation/foundation of cerebral hyperlinks, and if you understand, how energy, visual images, geography and memory interconnect/synapse..    then I can share with you:

I am in the equivalent of a spiritual land mine.

and it is adding to my ongoing, ever growing curiosity about our internal mechanisms; neuropathways..   what is connected to what ='s what..   

for lay people neuro-spiritual-scientists, like myself, I am currently pondering this:

at one given point in my life, to see a certain image/have a memory of a traumatic event surface; that given memory was -directly-    -immediately-     -completely-    connected to emotion/feeling

the emotion/memory were one.    /I would use marriage as an analogy, but how often?

instead, interlock your own two hands together, weaving fingers,  as if in prayer

now, at one point in my life, the memory/emotion were ONE.

then, sometimes, the memory/emotion/feeling were ONE, but sometimes, there was a slight disconnect..   /pull your hands a little bit apart, but not completely..

I could remember, but without overwhelm of emotion/feeling..   I had manageable emotion/feelings

then, fast forward several more years..    I can  -sometimes-

/pull hands completely apart

have the memory, entirely separate from emotion/feeling.  but the fascinating thing:  I do not fall into apathy..     we are soooo nuanced!    I don't have a vocabulary for what I'm trying to describe

but when a traumatic memory surfaces, without previously associated/connected emotion/feeling:  it just feels healthier.   perspective..  factors in...

/look at each hand, separately.     I still have traumatic memory.   /left hand.    I am still capable of given emotion/feeling /write hand

but they do not arrive as ONE.

    ~necessarily.   that is to say, it is only   -sometimes, that they arrive disconnected, and I don't get to know in advance, whether seeing/remembering will feel like an attack

or, like..

it is,

a spiritual trek in a spiritual land mine:   ~fall apart/go backwards vs. put back together/empowered to move forward...

but, the fact is:   here I am.   in san leandro, California, 2017.    I am in a very loving environment, with my mom and her husband.   it is beautiful, their home, clean and beautiful..  and the neighborhood too:  beautiful!   I'm excited to do another nature of my walks photography post

family love trumps a lot of potentially negative/destructive obstacles; I can provide enormous amounts of testimony in this area..

and my work environment at alden lane,   -to be working there specifically, during the spiritual trek I am about to embark on..

beauty trumps a lot of potentially negative/destructive obstacles also; nature/beauty..

do you know the sensation, the internal sensation of love at first sight?    when you just see something, when your eyes land on something, and the very nano-second your eyes land on it, you..


what you see.   I get to experience that internal sensation all throughout the day at alden lane..   the way they arrange the beautiful plants and trees and flowers..   and, they so frequently change the arrangements and which plants, trees, flowers...

you cant look in any direction without feeling some sense of awe..

so, to have this:   love & beauty; every day..    

and!  to know in advance, I will share both fun/good; and also hard/evil..   not hard/evil exclusively


in prayer, I whispered back to God:  okay.

and cried

they were not sad tears, or happy tears..    the category analogy, is when

~tears of trust; let me call them.

like, when my children each got their drivers license..     and I  watched them drive off..

   -cave in to chronic worry/fear? 

I will surrender instead to God.


I am not commuting without fear  the understanding/knowledge there is higher potential for a fatal accident; I am not living each day without fear  the knowledge/understanding that an evil-doer might be stalking..

I do not live without a knowledge/understanding that I will, in fact, die a physical death one unknown day; under some unpredictable circumstance

but my eternal life is saved.  my loved ones are saved.  and so what is there to worry about...

In Jesus knows (me!) by name, 's name...    amen!


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