I must be doing something write! By (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Oh, part of me is down write embarrassed at the amount of writing I've done.. Like I have a writing disease.. Every f'in thought in a journal.. I've shredded thousands of pages.. I think, if I kept everything I've ever written, from the time I first started writing, I would in fact be the person who did the most writing here on earth. But I have no desire to keep or prove anything.. I'm thrilled to get rid of it. My God! Page after page after page... And when I take the time to glance through, 80% of it is me trying to build myself back up...via gratitude, prayers, questions, thoughts for God. The effort required to build myself back up! Years and years and years and pages and pages and pages.. To the 10th power! But you add it up... 3 kidnappings, rapes, bank robbery, alcoholic/abusive step father, bullies, divorce, relocations/moves...PTSD for years! A cure for that doesn't happen over night. And when I feel sick from seeing all of my own writing, I stop. -start to consider how I don't smoke anymore, I have no eating disorder anymore, I'm not a slave to other people's opinion of me anymore, I don't suffer from PTSD to the extreme anymore. I stop and consider all the ways in which I am free and liberated today vs. Back then... So, -must have been doing something write... -all along....
posted by SHE @ 10:41 AM
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