SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

and so, after freshman year at mt eden high school in Hayward, -we moved again.. and I landed for a while at san Lorenzo high school my sophomore year

what is stuck in my memory about san Lorenzo high school, is that it was here

    -the very first time I remember feeling...    SMART.    EVERYONE ELSE'S KIND OF SMART.

My brother's kind of smart!

what I mean is this..

I was the good kind of smart..   student council president at my elementary school, leadership at my jr high school.  I was the do your best/ try your best; that kind of school girl smart

turn your library books back on time..

throw your lunch trash in the garbage...   scoot your chair back in.

put your name in the upper write hand corner, turn homework in on time..

I was creative; yes.  -but never clever.

san Lorenzo high school represents for me, the very first time I can ever remember feeling

  -clever.

what happen was..   I started there after the official school year had already started.  that meant, that I had to go to the office first, have my list of classes assigned to me, which classes/what teachers, in what order, etc.

and they handed me a piece of paper with the list of classes, room numbers, teachers, and gave me these instructions:

"what'll you'll need to do, is hand this paper to the teacher at the beginning of each class, and they will add you to their roster and include you in attendance..."

/something along those lines

and at the moment I accepted the list of classes in my hand  -at that moment, I had every intention of going to class, and handing the paper to the teacher at the beginning..

but after I was handed the list

but before I actually reached the first class on the list

somewhere in the hallway

it    DAWNED on me!    like,   hark the herald!  angels sang...

 if I never go to class...   they will not add me to their roster... they wont even know I'm missing!

they don't know I'm supposed to arrive!

-perhaps this does win as the happiest day of my high school experience.  the day I applied what I had been learning from smarter others..

genius!   genius level...

and so I crumpled my paper list and tossed it in the trash, and kept write on going down the hallway and out the exit door.

how long I got away with this?  I don't remember..   

but my dad would drop me off in front of the high school...  and I would wish him a good day... wait for his car to leave..

out the back door to freedom!

tbc.

***

I got away with this for a stretch..      then spent some time communicating with the high school counselor there...   I want to say his name,  -his last name was  Thomas?   can't remember..

but he was the first person to suggest to me, that I might actually/really    -and I wish I could remember the exact vocabulary

but in one of our exchanges, I explained to him, that..  I was having a feeling; a sensation of some sort and knew my boyfriend..

that there was something wrong.

and when I did finally get a hold of him..  it turned out he was in the hospital.  

my boyfriend at the time:  Michael Jackson..    yes, real name, and the one I ran away to be with in santa monica        -another long/exhausting story, but

the point:  the counselor at san Lorenzo high school was the first person to part-explain/part-validate that I might have...     some sort of telepathic abilities.

a real type of sensitivity that gets communicated   -how?    not in person/through direct communication but..   over space/time..

anyway..

the only other thing that stands out, is it must of been him..  the counselor,   seeing that

   -surrendering, like my parents were forced to

to the fact, that no matter the punishment, or incentive, getting me to go to class was not going to happen.    and I learned about a test I could take


a test that would allow me to graduate early.   it was like a G.E.D., only for people under 18.

***

my relationship with Jesus today is so intimate..     but back then, it was..

it was more on emergency only/as needed basis

and I do remember praying about that test.  I remember well, making a pact with God

and what I said, was...     if I don't pass the test; I will finish high school.  but if I do pass the test..


that is green lights from you!  I'm outta there!

and I prayed, and prayed and prayed to pass that test.

California Proficiency Exam, is what I think it was called.   and my friend Debbie took it on the same day  -for many of the same reasons.

and, I remember Debbie finished hers before me... and left early.   and my whole being sunk... like, I was sure that meant she passed with flying colors to freedom, and I was doomed to imprisonment for several more years.

but,

polar opposite happened.   she did not pass.    "I did!"

there is a God!

amen.