Thursday, January 24, 2019

Technical Difficulties for (me!) sandra, tvgp

unable to upload any pictures from my phone to my blog..   initial troubleshooting efforts unsuccessful.   some great pix when problem is resolved..

in the meantime


Congratulations to (me!).  I passed the mandatory test given at work yesterday regarding preventing/addressing sexual harassment in the workplace.

CH=  many, but I will write of the main one that haunts me.   It haunts me because I had a young beautiful girl turn specifically to me for help..  and I did nothing.

The first thing I want to say is this...   If I were presented with the exact same situation today  -I could and would find the words, and directly address the issue  -but I could not find the words at the time

I am simply more mature and better able today...

but honey, I am so, so sorry I let you down.  In prayer I have forgiven myself; believe I am forgiven


what happen:  -the beautiful young woman could not take a break, or have lunch without finding herself in the company of an older, married, male co-worker.

it is true that he never said anything inappropriate.

it is true that he never made any gesture, or tried to touch her  -he did not make physical contact.

none of his words or actions were inappropriate.   it was more that he just didn't pick up on ANY SOCIAL QUES she provided that she did not desire his company over and over

if she had her lunch over there...  there he was.
if she went instead over there..  there he was..

if she changed the time...   there he was..

being friendly, conversational..

add on, the friendly/conversational married man was a coach of young people

perhaps he felt more qualified to talk to high school students..  like he had a special rapport

add on, at the time, I was relatively new to the corporation, and the friendly/conversational gregarious man was well established and well regarded by executives

I could go on and on about the nuances; everything that factored in..

coming up with a million excuses why I couldn't and didn't find the words..

I lost sleep some nights..   how can I say?  if it doesn't go well.. to who can I turn?

but by the time I thought maybe I had found the courage

the young beautiful woman had quit and left the corporation.

I never had a chance to apologize.

If you ever read this...  you'll know who you are.   very sorry I let you down.  please forgive...


if it happened today..  it all seems so simple and uncomplicated and easy almost

"hey.. can I talk to you a moment...   I know you probably mean well..  just being friendly and conversational.. but, the young beautiful woman you always keep company at lunch

she has expressed privately to me that she'd like to have lunch alone sometimes...  it is her time to text on her phone, or read and relax..   she feels monopolized sometimes..   -if you could honor her space.."

why was that so hard?   I can't explain...  why so hard then; why so much easier now..


I bet the same is true for you..

you couldn't find the words either..  to talk to him directly..    to politely ask to be left alone

but I bet if we fast forward a year, three years..  five years

it becomes easier.

but you turn to me...  and I let you down.   This is not a mistake I would ever let happen again.

In Jesus name..   amen & amen.


file under: skill sets we should teach very early in schools and at home...


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