Wednesday, January 10, 2018

YOUNG LOVE cautions and caveats from (me!) sandra, tvgp

  -there are two definitions for romantic young love:

1.   the person/people in love are young; as in their age..   teenagers, 20's..
2.   love itself, romantic love, is in its early stages   -and age doesn't matter


after 5 decades, two and a half marriages, several dates, a few close encounters, many books, tv shows, movies, conversations with friends, family and total strangers

you do realize romantic love has very specific, very definable, very categorical  -stages.   and they apply pretty much across the board for everyone, without respect for race, education, political or religious affiliations, etc.

the reason I am writing on this topic at all, is because it has brought to my attention..

a young person, experiencing heartbreak for the 1st time..    just wants to end it all.

     -those are suicidal thoughts.

and that's the first thing to note:  falling in love for the first time, when you are young..


being in love; quite a wondrous thing.

have that love terminated for one reason or another           -it captures the pain in just a few words, doesn't it

I just want to end it all.


I remember.


       -and if I may offer any advice for young people today; **life saving advice

it is this:

do not put all your eggs in one basket.     this is an old, and perhaps outdated phrase, but feel free to update

the point is the same.

and when I say, don't put all your eggs in one basket, what I do NOT mean, is

don't pour all your romantic love into one person.   I don't mean be sure and have lots of boyfriends, girlfriends, romantic partners..

I believe very much in two hearts becoming one

what I mean, when I say, don't put all your eggs in one basket..   is make sure you don't pour all of your individual, magnificent, creative, curious, energetic self, and every spare minute/hour/day/night and type of private/social communication into just the romantic partner in your life

don't make your love life; your only life.

have family/friend time, have other interests, hobbies/passions, things you do separately, but then talk to each other about..  volunteer, work part time,  widen your exposure to people/experiences

this way,

when you join the rest of the human race who has barely survived, and it's your turn to experience the excruciating pain of romantic love lost for the very first time

you will think less about ending it all..

because that's not -all-  there was...

and, my very own life is testimony:    on the other side of that excruciation pain

there is a whole lot of living, learning, growing and loving still to experience

for every end of that..

a new beginning to this

                            but I sure do remember.  and I am praying for you...

** it is not life saving if you just read it; only if you read, heed and apply it.


and, now, at nearly 52..

"the other kind of young love!"    -as in the early stages

and now it feels quite more like a gigantic blessing, God's favor, instead of potentially devastating and life threatening

and I get to take all the lessons ive learned..    from every romantic relationship, short, medium and long; every date..   every one night stand...   every almost/maybe...   every yes/yes, every no/no..

accumulate 5 decades worth of knowledge, insights and wisdom gained from every time I had my heart broken, and every time I broke someone's heart


throw it out the window!

because, that IS one of the very specific, very definable, very categorical  -stages

of young love

a romantic love that's new, at any age

it feels so bran new; so exciting..    you just forget every fear, worry, concern

and can believe again, in true love    


In Jesus, and in Solomon's, name..    amen.


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