Tuesday, March 21, 2017

what a weight lifted! for (me!) sandra, tvgp

when, in prayer, I said..    I have to stop worrying about the results; or organizing.  I cannot be burdened with organizing what ive written, or will write..   

i'll just do the writing.


and a memory surfaced; as they do..   in unorganized fashion:   how I cried to Jesus..  cry~talked..  saying, "i want to feel safe...  I want to feel safe...   I want to feel safe..."   and then, it turned from crying to anger..   I said, "i don't want to FEEL safe Jesus



anyway..   I must edit.  as I have been for some time..    I edit, because I learned this truth when I was volunteering for the tri valley haven

how, the men who were abusing their girlfriends, wives, children...    sending them in need for shelter and protection

the men who were caught, turned in..      the ones who were  -sentenced- to anger management classes, and had to attend, and had to prove with a certificate of some sort, that they attended..

well, to the outside world, and perhaps the judge..     that certificate ='d that the abusive individual had made some progress..     had learned/gained some insight into their unlawful, destructive, violent, ugly behavior, and helped them become better men; better individuals

and while I'm sure that IS the aim of such programs..     

the truth behind the seens   -as shared with me by people in the actual know

is that the only thing the abusive men improved at; was how to get away with the same behavior but without getting caught.

                  -that's write.   they were required by law, to take anger management classes, that ultimately served to help them become more skillful abusers

improve their craft.

sad, sad, but true.  

and the bible passage this brings to mind for me, is the one about ideas landing on different types of soil..

because, if we apply the analogy of soil as mind/heart/soul..

perhaps on the write soil..    of a man who was capable of feeling remorse, capable of seeing the consequences of his abusive behavior on others..     on the write soil, such a man might look to the origins of this behavior..   and try and correct and improve, and make apologies, and apply lessons, and learn to respect...  etc., etc.

but the soil of a percentage (what % I don't know) of the men attending these classes, was not write.  the soil itself was corrupt..   so they listened, but only heard, what caused them to get caught..   and if they did this, instead of that..

they could still abuse; control with fear; etc...   but!   without getting caught.    and now they have a certificate to show everyone they graduated.


so, I just realize over and over...     intentions vs. actual results.   and how important.. the soil; the roots..   and how important it is to assess    -RESULTS.

ive said it before, and worth mentioning..  it is to me the greatest gap..   not the haves & have nots; not the poor vs. wealthy, or educated vs. uneducated..

the greatest gap is between the intention of a law; and the results...

there is such a long list of  -intended this, but got that..

and boy are we slow to assess, and repair...


so, of course, as I am, as I have described, on a spiritual trek, in a spiritual land mine..   traumatic memories    -not buried, but which were resting on the ground

they are floating up..    nearer the surface; easy to reach

and cerebral hyperlinks that I might pass over in different environments, demand to be clicked on

so, I think I will demonstrate how this works, by doing just that.   and you can choose to click or not.

I was at mt eden high school in Hayward this past sunday, because Melissa was performing in her church's band there

 [I'm not hyperlinking 'mt eden' because there are hundreds of potential links/no time..]

and before I can write another word, I want to say
           -MUCH BETTER visiting mt eden, for church on a sunday, at age 51, than when I was a freshman there at age 15..

"Thank You! Jesus.."

anyway.. wonderful, wonderful...   

and the message was primarily from the story in the bible about  -loving your neighbor, and then..

who is your neighbor..

and then the story about the man who was robbed,


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