Tuesday, September 06, 2016

Ironically.. my former secret admirer, signed his cards/gifts/letters: me /with a squiggle underneath


i will bullet point here what i have written before.  my guilt..
-i compared it then, and will now
to
-when a child, or teenager learns he or she has been adopted..
there is a pattern, where the child, learning about their adopted parent
tends to project via their imagination..   
a very special parent.  like, they tend to project that the parent they've never met is a military hero, or famous movie star, or brain surgeon, or rock star; that kind of thing.

rarely is the first imagining that of say, an average, or below average, or just regular, everyday kind of person doing their best to make it in a chronically challenging world.

and I'm guilty of something similar here.  because during the stretch of time
i had a secret admirer
this very kind person surprising me with cards, chocolate, letters, gifts
all signed
Me
with a signature squiggle underneath.

well, i projected..
i projected, hoped, and guessed and wondered

and i was just certain! it must be the most educated/successful person
in the entire hospital.  

I am both embarrassed by and impressed by my imagination, looking back

but

the poor young man..

was set up for an unjustifiable, undeserved fall 

and with no way to know it.


no fault of his own, to be sure.   but, i thought surgeon, not   -someone just like

me.


so when i did find out...


/and so please accept my apology.

everything you did was creative, thoughtful and romantic and fun.

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