SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

haughty, humbled, forgiven. (me!), sandra, tvgp

i suppose the trigger/cerebral hyperlink here is having recently wrote about singing.

***

4TH grade.  -whole class tries out for the choir.  we all went to the multi-purpose room, and sang as a class, and then each individually sat down with the choir teacher  /name?   at the piano, and sang a few notes.

-and all went back to class.   and a number of days later, our classroom teacher, Mr Crist, read from a list he was provided by the choir teacher, the names of the students who qualified to be in the choir.

 make up a few names here...  diane, jack, agnes....

and among the names called was, "sandy"

the thing is, only one "sandy" name was called, but there were two of us in the classroom.

"which sandy?"   -we both asked.

and i'm projecting here, that she knew it was her, but in a place of under-confidence, and generosity offered up that it must be me.

and, i, in a place of over-confidence, and complete denial, thought, well it must be me...

and, so..

as the choir list did not have last names, it was decided that each of us, would sit with the choir teacher a second time, and he would let us know which sandy qualified.

may i say here, i am VERY ENORMOUSLY grateful, there is no video available from this experience; I'm sure the humiliation would do me in

but, sandy went at one point, and i at another.

as i sat next to the choir teacher, on the piano bench, and sang a few notes.  "its a grand ole' flag! it's a high flyin' flag, and forever in peace may it wave..."

well, he looked at me, with a certain gentle, kindness, and politely let me know, that it was definitely the other sandy that qualified.

did some part of me know this already?     -sad to say, probably not.  denial of the genuine kind.

anyway..

it was humiliating.

and, when it came to the time, for the students in choir, to leave the classroom, in the following week, to go to the multi-purpose room for choir practice.

i still went.

so, the rest of the class was expecting to see which "sandy" really made it, and i lied as i left the class, explaining that we both did.

and i remember standing on one of the steps, mixed in next to the other qualified singers, hoping to blend in and not get noticed by the choir teacher

but we in fact made eye contact.

the potential was there, in a BIG WAY for my humiliation to become square-rooted to the unbearable degree,

but, do you know, the choir teacher looked at me in a knowingly way

and did not ask me to leave.

i was spared.

and i mostly lip synced in gratitude for his mercy.

and sandy and i were good, dear friends, for a long time..   and she never called me on it either.

-because, that's exactly what good friends sometimes do

not do.

in   -does anyone know if Jesus could sing? name,    -I'm pretty sure all the angels can and do!

hallelujah and amen.

posted by SHE @ 11:05 AM