THOUGHTS ON PRENUPS & MARRIAGE by (me!) Sandra, tvgp
One of my young, beautiful, co-worker friends.. Patricia.. Is in love, and getting married some time next year.. She brought up the topic of PRENUPS. Her own background, life circumstances/experiences, etc. Suggest she should have one.. She wants to protect herself financially in the event of a divorce. She inquired about my opinion; here it is; "I'm all for it!" but it is important to realize what legal contracts can and can't do.. I guess we can look at auto insurance.. Can't control whether or not you get in an accident, the severity of the accident, should one happen..the physical or emotional or mental reactions,scars, etc. -but, you know, -you're covered where financial costs are concerned. and, I don't think, (as my romantic brother has suggested in the past) that PRENUPS are like entering in marriage as if it's going to fail...I don't have auto insurance because I KNOW I'm going to get in an accident.. I have auto insurance, because (it is required by law) and if you look around, accidents seem to happen with some level of statistical/probable predictability/inevitability.. And so, it is IN CASE of an accident; see. So yes, I believe in PRENUPS.. Entering into marriage conscious of it's vulnerabilities, and in mutual, pre-agreement that IN CASE of divorce, which already takes a great emotional/physical/mental toll.. -at least, financially.. You have pre-agreed to certain things, and so we can at least reduce that additional stress. And since I'm on the topic.. I kind of wonder still why people marry at all? It is the strangest thing to me, that in the event of an accident, so to speak...you are now legally required to seek the governments (total stranger) stamp of approval if you want to leave; for any reason.. Which is none of anyone else's business.. But, when kids are involved.. And we consider legally required custody/spousal support, etc.. When hearts are broken (and sometimes even when they're not) -people don't tend to do the write thing.. Just because. They tend to do only the things the law requires them to do. I genuinely wish and pray and hope for success for my beautiful co-worker friend and her fiancé.. I'm always rooting for couples to make it.. Which, seems to me in this day, against the odds.. So how much more rewarding must it be.. To "beat the odds!" -think I'm going to turn a few of these words into a 'congratulations on your engagement card'... and now, I have no choice but to close here with a DR Maya Angelou quote. -true story that just yesterday I flipped exactly to this page in a little Easle quote book i purchased from hallmark many years ago: she says, "we spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends, and living our lives.". Do I hear an amen...and amen!
posted by SHE @ 10:41 AM
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