Sunday, June 11, 2017

3 times in 10 years.. best guess for (me!) sandra, tvgp

ive mentioned before, it is the exception and not the rule, that people ask me about my tattoo.  and only one time so far has this happened:

him:   "i have that same tattoo on my leg."

(me!):   "well, what do you tell people it means?"

him:  "why... what do you tell people it means?"

(me!):   "i tell people..  'it means conquer the world with kindness.'    -unless, like you, they know what it means, in which case, I say,  'because that takes quite a bit of courage, doesn't it."

and he liked that.


and I think over the past 10 years plus that ive had my tattoo, only 3 times   -and I'm guessing, I never wrote it down or documented it, but perhaps 3 times, ive encountered people who just can't seem to let it go..   how much they detest my tattoo..   they want to go on and on about how much they hate them.. would never get one...  cant stand the way...    etc., etc.,

I am a good listener and a good sport for a while..    but, I feel compelled at some point to remind such people

with as much politeness and respect as I can muster,

"yes..   I understand you don't like tattoos.  I hear you...    but, your liking it was not part of my criteria for getting it...      -I understand they are not for everyone..."

-and they don't like that.     people who want their opinions to control/dictate other people's opinions/decisions/behavior..   they are not so sure what to do with themselves when it doesn't work.


false labor:  not uncommon for a first time pregnant mom to show up at the hospital and learn she had 'false labor' pains..   and the only way she knows/learns the difference/distinction is when she has had the real actual labor pains to compare it to...     yes.

I am not a first time writer..   but!  I think I have had..    and only because write now I believe I have a real/actual true start   -only in comparison with what I am writing now, everything else feels like a false start..   to a real memoir.   my argument/plea/proposal if you will, has been for an advance.. so I can buy myself the time/space to organize the overwhelming amount of material that already exists on my blog.. but not in a reader-friendly format...     it takes time/energy..     but, all efforts for an advance have been unsuccessful.    -when I prayed on it..    and Joyce Meyer, will know immediately of what I speak..     I did not have my prayer answered in the form of an advance...  I had my prayer answered in the form of being provided  -verve in extra doses, and determination..    -so as time allows..  the writing continues.


label me suspicious:   in a conversation with my co-worker friend kurt..  my coworker friend and fellow Warriors fan..   he said to (me!)..  I never wanted to think so..    not in professional sports.. but..    did you see the game yet?       -and I knew in advance what he was eluding to..  I said, 'without specifically suggesting corruption... I already planned on writing about it.   -and, he shared his concerns, and I was sorry, but could only mostly validate his concerns...     in my 5 decades on the planet, I have learned..  that almost anywhere you have that kind of money on the line..      -so, yes..   I am also suspicious.    but! 

and light-heartedly, I joked/apologized I was not able to watch the game, and always joke that is why they lost...  

and offer the spiritual perspective   'it didn't happen to them... it happened for them...     so they can win at home in Oakland!"

-and since I will be able to give that game my undivided attention...  we know with great certainty!

and can't you just feel the celebration in the air...


and the reason I could not give my undivided attention to the potentially history makin' 4th game of the NBA World Championship FINALS, is because

I was giving my undivided attention to the dancers/performers at the Dublin High School Center for Performing Arts where Jazz n Taps was presenting their annual show..

and, I say it every year...   because every year it's true... but, THIS YEAR!!   best of the already best..

the theater itself; wonderful, spacious..
best seat I ever did have!  I could see the facial expressions of any dancer I focused on..

and, I focused quite a bit on my beautiful mom friend's daughter..  my reason for going..   

   -watching her evolve year after year..   and master tap, jazz, lyrical, musical theatre.. modern..

   /I'm not sure how many different genres'... but EXCEPTIONAL in any number she participated/contributed..

   -to see young children evolve into young adults...     always brings love tears from my eyes..   and to see young children/young adults discover their God given gifts/talents and to put such time, effort, energy, dedication and heart into developing, challenging, growing, improving...

and,  -to witness the consistent level of excellence for the duration of the performance:   lighting, costumes, music, choreography..   back to back fantastic dancers     -what a great job jazz n taps does .and what an honor it must be to be a part of the JnT family..



much going on/to look forward to at alden lane..   berry festival, art under the oaks, quilt show..  to name a few, but the official  -spring season-   is reaching its end.   I have been educated.   the spring season in the nursery industry is analogous to Christmas season in regular retail...   only longer by a number of weeks..        -but how exciting!   the pace, the volume, the variety of flower, plant and trees that have crossed my visual path over the past several months..    learned more than I have time to write about..  but want to remember the level of happiness from all the gardening customers  -so many people   -excited-  again, to plant what the long drought had prevented them from planting and enjoying..

and, I want to remember one of the silver lines:   that as a result of the drought, many people purchased/experimented with succulents for the first time..   and almost across the board, this introduction

a direct result of the drought, and probably not happening otherwise...

started a bran new love affair with succulents/cacti that I have no doubt will last for life times.

and there is quite an analogy there also, isn't there..

when in drought...


I am fascinated by things I don't think medicine/science can measure/see yet, by x-rays, or fmri, or blood samples, or dna, or urine, etc.

like,  -verve..   quantify/measure; report.      love.  peace.  ...   bonds ....    like, if I went to a doctors office, or scientist..     do you have tools which can show you my friendship bond with sue-sue?  because we just got together again, and its been a good long while, and I just love her to pieces, and our conversations pick write up.. and we share and enjoy each other's company so much..   

I know these friendship visits have incredible value..   on my heart health.  not monetary, not..

my friends mean the world to me..     do we have tools which can show/measure/quantify?   -because I don't think if you used number of calls, texts, or time of actual visits..

it really is a quality over quantity experience...      such a number of my friends are people I see/visit infrequently...   but very beloved friends they are!      I'm blessed.  blessed and grateful...

and again..   fascinated by what can/cannot be seen/known by doctors or science..
LOOK  -today, so popular, we have two things:  1. genealogy.  2. dna.
that is, we have ways to look back, and learn about our ancestry.  and we have ways to spit in test tubes, and learn about potential health risks, physical factors we may face in the future..
          I will not go on, write now, about the legitimacy/integrity/credibility of either/or,
my point, is we can -theoretically/practically look way back, and look way forward

but in my own life   -would any of this have been valuable to (me!) ? 

If I had an ancestry report in my left hand, and a DNA in my write..   would either prepare me for a predator breaking into my home? Jumping out from behind bushes with a gun?

-what would let me know I would have evil, wicked kidnappers/rapists to deal with?  PTSD does not show up in ancestory/DNA reports... 

it is  -post-   TRAUMA.    so, unless you can predict...   TRAUMAS...
violent attacks; sudden death; kidnapping/rape; human trafficking; terrorist attacks; domestic abuse, car-jackings, murder..  

so, i'm saying this so you can see...  with all the information we (potentially) have at our fingertips..  
            none of it is as valuable to me..    if you are using knowledge to prevent...

what good to know my aunt/uncles name from 1542?  or that I might one day battle alzheimers..
when what I had to worry about between then, my birth, and my unknown future were RAPISTS.

so, my interest is not as it seems to be with others -genealogy; dna reports...  looking back/looking forward
my interests are toward good and evil and spiritual warfare and helping humans evolve -spiritually.

any reports where science can quantify the fruits of the spirit?  how evil/how holy..  the soil of the mind/heart..

/am I being productive write now...   or procrastinating on the memoir God has gifted me the verve to...

let me not waste...

In Jesus name...    "Thank You!"             -hallelujah, yes and amen.


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