On The Eve Of My XLIXth Birthday. By (me!) Sandra, tvgp
I am the same age as the Superbowl.. So every year in promotional materials, t-shirts and mass media in general I get to see my age in giant roman numerals. I love it!
XLIX
***
my parents, like many; but not all, -they had a wish that when I grew up I would be "happy and healthy."
let's start there, because "I AM!". and so are my own children.. happy & healthy; thriving in life.. if that was all; it would be more than enough.. but that is not all:
***
every morning I handwrite the same thing, but I'm going to add in some details for the sake of this birthday blog:
I am in the Best Shape of my ENTIRE life!
financially:
-yes. that's write. I remember well the day someone all judgemental in tone said to me, "you're not one of those people who live pay check to pay check are you?"
I said, "pay check to pay check?!.. are you kidding me? I ASPIRE to live pay check to pay check! -write now I live cash advance to cash advance."
And I no longer live cash advance to cash advance.. Now, I have no income I can currently brag about for sure.. But I have made tremendous progress in this area and if I take debt-to-income ratio into account.. I really am in the best financial shape of my entire life! -and what I know for sure Oprah.. Is that the habits you adopt with a little are the same habits you will have with a lot; so I am very conscientious.
physically:
"I can do 49 push-ups!". -somewhere I got the idea that I would like to be able to do my age in push-ups. Where the idea came from, I don't know. I didn't have it at 30, 35, 40 or 45.. but I did at 48 1/2..
When I started I could do ZERO. -zero push-ups. But I've been training and practicing every day for several months now on my own.. And we are talkin' real push-ups, not on my knees.. " I can do 49!". I recently did this in front of my family and had it recorded. My form gets a little sloppy before I reach 49, so I will work on this.. And add 1 more so that next year... "50 push-ups in a row! In great form!"
mentally:
I am in the best shape of my entire life! -very free; peaceful; content in all circumstances. all I have to do to appreciate my mental health today is spend 3 seconds remembering the long tour in hell with PTSD. -I am literally free of every symptom!
emotionally:
-again, -best shape of my entire life.. Free to experience the full spectrum of human emotion; appropriate emotion for given experience. I laugh when things are funny; cry when they're sad.. Experience and manage frustration, anger.. Love, bliss, joy!
PTSD locks you in fear. DEPRESSION locks you in hopelessness;despair. I am intimately acquainted with both. But "I am more than a conqueror!" In both areas. I am free! And I recognize and honor my emotions; manage my emotions; they do not control me.
I repeat often.. The opposite of depression is not happiness. It is being able to experience the full range of emotions. I am mostly happy; occasionally sad.. and many things between.. alive! And emotionally responsive to my day to day encounters and experiences..
spiritually:
-best spiritual shape of my entire life! in prayer I graduated from 'only in life or death situations' to.. well, I function in life now with Jesus as my everyday, every moment, invisible best friend. -perpetual dialogue. And I came to define success for myself as the manifestation of the fruits of the spirit: love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, -self control. I am pleased with my spiritual practices; my walk with Jesus...
it has proven out in my life experientially: God first.. Everything else falls into place. things I do on a very regular basis: prayer, meditation, bible reading, church, church TV, spiritually themed programs...
creatively:
best shape of my entire life! -I have a healthy variety of creative outlets: this blog, my Ricky picky photograph collection, the heart seen photograph collection, my mixed media art, poetry, documentary I've been working on, merchandising, accessorizing and preparing now for two upcoming art shows..
socially:
Best shape of my entire life! I have a small circle of the best friends anyone could ask for! A best friend in my sister..some friendships that go back 25 years or more.. Some 10-15 years.. And new friends added in just the past 5.. Life experience, prayer, wisdom has allowed me to 'weed out' people where needed and invest, nurture, grow friendships with a select few.. I have a nice blend of my own quiet time; solitude which I treasure.. And outings.. Dancing, theater, walks, readings.. Etc. -healthy social life.
romantically:
how blessed am I? .. he's giving me a second chance! -after I 'kicked him to the curb' (his words not mine) some 25 years ago... and I've been on a 100 mile Harley ride.. To the golf range.. dinner, lunch and coffee dates.. the occasional rendezvous.. I get to hold hands, kiss,.. have a valentine! -someone to bake cookies for.. watch sports with.. entertain with my unique blend of intelligent awkwardness.. plus.. come on! he's Italian! a retired police officer!
has golden brown eyes, and ...
intellectually:
I stay intellectually stimulated by reading, watching my Charlie rose.. A steady diet of books and programs which expose me to great thinkers, spiritual leaders, challenges the world faces..
so! It is true: I am in the best shape of my entire life!
"Thank You Jesus!"
***
I also always handwrite: please allow me to be a positive influence in someone's life this day.
-I very consciously choose the words 'positive influence' -because .. Well even when I mess up; make mistakes.. If I own up to my mistakes; apologize when it is appropriate... That is being a positive influence. It does not mean being perfect.
***
I also handwrite: every thing and everyone within God's will for my life comes easily and naturally to (me!).
And:
Thank you Jesus for placing me in the write place, at the write time, doing the write things, for the write people, and most importantly
the write reasons.
~amen.
posted by SHE @ 6:14 AM
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