SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

MONEY, mOnEy, MoNeY! By (me!) Sandra, tvgp

Time travel a little so you can join us for lunch yesterday at red robin. Me and my.. Ottimo pasto.  <-----TTOD. (Temporary term of endearment):

Split a double cheese burger.. Steak fries.. Cold beer..  

Watch a little sports action on the TV monitor above..  Football.  And what-do-you-know..  Inevitably the subject of Rice comes up:

In case you are reading this from a great time distance, the upshot is this: RICE is the last name of an NFL player who  -video- reveals, hit his fiance in an elevator.. Knocking her out, I believe, then dragging her out on the floor..   -something like this..

Very domestic; very violent.

He was initially suspended for two games; then six; and ultimately after the video evidence "surfaced" and  left unquestioned what actually took place..    -public outrage,  and now he has been entirely cut from the NFL.   K.. I'm just providing an outsiders/layperson summary.. 

My hot date for lunch.. Rick, who may I remind is a retired police officer..  He thought..   This punishment was a little extreme.  That perhaps the three strike rule would be better suited to the crime of domestic violence..  So, if I heard him correctly

-and trust me that I did because I asked him to repeat himself for me at least three times to be sure..  And yes, he thought..

If you punch a woman one time..  There should be some type of consequence; if it happens a second time; a slightly greater consequence.. But if it happens a third time!   "You're out!"

K..  The three strike rule for domestic violence. 

Externally, I remained very calm. Very calm and open.. 

It is a good practice I've learned to stay open to other peoples points of views..

But, had he, in that moment, started choking on his food, let's say..

It might have taken me a couple extra seconds to try and remember whether or not I knew the Heimlich..    /which would make me no better than..; -write.

So, I took another bite of my half of the double cheese burger.. Which was outrageously delicious by the way.. And I had a fry or two, and a sip of my beer..  I caressed his back; gazed affectionately into his dark brown eyes..  And then after enough time had passed.. I said,

"So let's say you own a bank.  You're the C.E.O. of a bank or something.. And you have a star employee (one of my favorite analogies this bank one..)

He is on time everyday
... never calls in sick..
Gets along with everybody..
Lands your bank some of its greatest clients and contracts...

K?"

And he was like, 'yeah.. Got it. Got it'

Then I go..   "But you caught him stealing money one day?"

And then he was suddenly, absolutely, confident and definitive in his reaction:  "fired! -he'd be fired"

"No second chance?" I ask..   "No second chance." He confirmed.

And so, I was like..  "Okay.. So for domestic violence; punching a woman..  Three strikes. But if your caught stealing MONEY..  No second chance?"

Isn't that fascinating.

Now.. When I said it like that to him, I don't think he liked the way things were sounding to him.. So, he went on to clarify his position:

Namely, what he wanted pointed out, is the distinction between

On the job. And,
Off the job.

That is; if you are an employer.. You have authority over what policies/procedures; rewards/consequences; you can and will employ to given employees -while they are on the job

But what they do, before or after work, (off the field) is outside of your authority.  So..

If you have an employee who punches another employee during working hours..  -fired.  

I asked his permission to blog our conversation..  He expressed some concern that I might paint the picture a different color than he had on his brush.. And that I might be in some way attacking..

"I don't use my blog that way; never have..  I will write it and let you read it and you can make any corrections you'd like in comments.."

And if he asked me to remove this post altogether for any reason
. I would; just like that. One click; unpublished.

It has been my blogging etiquette for as long as I can remember..  I think its only been about 5 or 6 times that someone has asked me to eliminate a post for one reason or another..

And without hesitation I have honored their requests. 

But I find this illuminating..  Enlightening.  Most people, -like 100% of the time, if you pose the imaginary bank scenario I posed above

Its just about unanimous that the star employee gets fired.

Stealing money from a bank!

But then.. For other things..  2nd chances, forgiveness, start over, three strikes..

I have noticed for example, infidelity is treated very differently by different people..    Many couples seem to have a ...

Well for some you're fired, and for others..  2 game suspension.

Its all fascinating to me.  I have a one strike is already one strike too many - youre out policy! for all three: domestic violence; infidelity; stealing money from the bank

I do believe in forgiveness, and hope-you-do-better-next-times

But youre gonna have to do-over somewhere and with someone else...

When we moved on in conversation..  I showed him my cross seen.. And heart seen pictures..  Then he pointed to the fries he had just adjusted into a heart shape..   "Awww, that's so cool, but it doesn't count" I told him..   "It can't be made on purpose.. You just have to find them already made". 

"doesn't count?!".   -he seemed a little disappointed.  -it is definitely picture-worthy though..    The heart seen at red robin in pleasanton.. And look at our receipt; I spy both our lucky numbers..   

posted by SHE @ 9:04 AM