SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

I am a "real" genius! (Me!) Sandra, tvgp

What I was trying to accomplish was this:

Open the car door.

Now, that might not sound like such a tall order by itself, but let me add on, that what I really wanted to do was open the car door

-without putting anything down.

Both of my arms and hands were full you see..  Purse, water bottle, diet Pepsi, overnight bag, sunglasses, cell phone..  I can't even remember everything I was holding.. 

-had you seen me

/and there was a man passing by who could

You too, would have been very impressed with how intuitively I was able to locate and shift and shuffle my cars keys into the palm of my hand

And equally impressed with how gracefully I moved closer to my car and stood at the exact angle required for the censors key-to-driver-side-door' to read each other.  I mean, I could not even see the unlock icon past all the stuff in my arm, and yet..  I just knew. And with the effort of only one light touch..

My door unlocked like magic.

I looked at the male passerby and smiled.  It was not at all a flirty smile.  Rather it was more like a confident smile; yes..

/perhaps an overconfident smile.

He looked back at me and smiled too.  But his smile was not flirtatious in manner either.  -his smile..

And it just pisses me off some to even recall it for the sake of sharing this story..

-his smile was one of .. Cockiness.  With a capital C!

He never said a word, but nor did he pass on by. He stopped in an effort to enjoy a show... -starring him and embarrassing (me!).

Because that was write about the same time that I suddenly realized what he already knew:

The door was unlocked, yes; but not open.

In order to OPEN the unlocked door, I would need to manually lift the handle.

Now.. Had this male passerby actually -passed- by, and not stopped

I'm pretty sure I would have surrendered and set a few things down.  Not everything, but one arm and hand worth at least.

But  -everyone already knows the rules, -write:

If I put anything down; I lose.

And if it took too long to figure out my next move, same thing; I lose.

So I am very pleased to tell you here just how instantaneously I

realized! that if I stood close enough, and bent low enough, I would be able to open the unlocked door with MY ELBOW!  Yes!

So, I shimmied everything against gravity up on my shoulders, and i tightened the grip on everything in my hands, and then using only my tiny little, sweet little, elbow

I managed to tuck under and thrust upward the handle of my  unlocked driver side front door.

And the door did    -want to-   open.

If not for the violent manner in which the cocked handle snapped back and pinched my tiny little, sweet little, elbow skin..  This really would have been one for Womens record books..

But damn it if that frickin' pinchin' pain grenade didn't cause me to drop

every. Single. Frickin'. Thing.

You know what this makes the score, -write.   -comes from some of the clearest unwritten rules of all time.

My purse went sliding down first...  and like an avalanche just seem to take everything with it.   -felt my cell phone go for an unexpected flight; then watched it crash land.... My pepsi.. spinning and spitting in twelve different directions..  And private objects from my opaque overnight  bag were lying naked on the hot cement for everyone to see

And this is win the male passerby who neglected to PASS BY goes

"you....  
are. a  REAL. genius."

And I know, -and you know,

That for a brief moment there, he thought he had won.  But just before he started to skip

I go,

"Yeah, well its kinda hard to fake that sorta thing; thank you.".  -real authentic and gracious-like

And so,

For anyone still keepin' score:

We have a tie.

posted by SHE @ 10:09 PM