SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

 to some person that just won't shut up. How that's just about the politess way to say thanks but no thanks to a conversation with a stranger on a plane... Well, that old let me take my kindle out trick sure didn't work for John from England sitting in 8C on Alaska airlines this morning... I'm not sure what they put in my coffee at the Seattle airport but no kindle in the amazon world could stop me from makin' friends with my airplane seat neighbor. -John from England... Transplanted to Washington... And you know me by now... I'm no good at small talk but great with the BIG QUESTIONS... we talked God.. And/or the lack thereof... And about photography.. Traveling.. World violence... Childhoods... Marriage.. And I had to whip out my camera and do a little show and tell about my upcoming website: TheHeartSeen.com. ... Here's where I can blog again and say the things I'd wished I'd said in the actual moment.. 'cuz I was showin' John from England a heart I-spied here, and a heart I-spied there... Here a heart... There a heart... Everywhere a heart, etc. And when I got to the one I found in the bubbles in my coffee from Petes in Pleasanton... He said,"you're looking for them".     

 -now, I have to break down the tone in that comment for you... The indication was... I was forcing it. Do you know what I mean? What he meant? -I do see hearts everywhere I go... But other people... Well, anyway.. It does happen sometimes.. Sometimes those hearts in my environment are so obvious and conspicuous and perfectly shaped even a blind man could point to it... And sometimes... There's a little work and imagination involved. A specific angle and distance... And perspective... And timing... And receptiveness... So, when John from England said, "you're looking". I knew what he meant... The subtext... And it is much more gratifying to find.. To notice... To reveal Vs. To project... But as I thought about that more... You know what I wish I would have said? I wish I woulda said, "well, haven't you ever looked too hard for love before?" PARAGRAPH BREAK HERE: I'm in the process of...processing. A most surprising, amazing, awesome family visit with my handsome prince to see my dad and family in Seattle... thank you Jesus for pictures!! We packed a lot in in a short time... I'm genuinely overwhelmed and I'm not writing just for pleasure write now... I'm writing so I don't crack.. PARAGRAPH BREAK HERE: in all my life... In all my schooling, in all my tv, interview, biography watching and reading... Never have I cried when President Lincoln died. Until yesterday... When I saw Lincoln... At the Lincoln... And I just don't know how anyone can watch that movie and not replace the word slavery with trafficking... And in fact, I saw a poster on the wall for a movie about human trafficking coming out soon... And when I saw that poster -for this upcoming movie I know nothing -nothing!- about... I sure did wonder to myself... Is this a genuine documentary which is intended to help victims.. Help STOP the crime... Or is this a secretly veiled how-to movie length video... Sexual assault and suicide fall in the same category here... There is a real art to covering the subject matter without exploiting... Without increasing the crimes you wish to prevent. Mass media Attention is both mandatory to prevent and necessary to spread... You must be very careful... And then I had to wonder... Cuz that seems like all I can sometimes do... Can the exact same movie do both? Prevent the crime/spread the crime... Is the result with the viewer? The moviemaker? And if you knew how much I've experienced and have on my mind vs. What will leak out here on my blog you would hand deliver me some sleeping aids... PARAGRAPH BREAK HERE: Oh, my feelings got hurt recently... And I keep trying to remember EXACTLY the words Dave meyers said back to his wife when she was so hurtful and mean to him... It was something about how.. Something like, " good thing I don't let you determine my self worth for me". And I think one of the most important lessons of my entire life to date has been that: to know my self worth according to God and Jesus... Not man. And when I say not man... I mean that sooo literally. It's taken a hundred years it feels like to build up a half of cup's worth of self esteem and even longer than that to unhate the male species... And just when I think maybe I graduated... I'm back fillin out applications for a campus that will have me... PARAGRAPH BREAK HERE: I will never stop reading the bible or going to church... But outside of those truths, here's another one... You know how there are physical laws... Laws of physics, etc. Well, I want to guarantee you this: -all you atheists and agnostics and -Doubters and seekers and those with unrooted faith... There are spiritual laws equal to and in fact superior to physical laws... More tried and true.. More consistent... As undisbutable... But infinite! Among these spiritual laws is this : God is love. Many of the spiritual laws -I'm sorry... ALL of the spiritual laws are true for HUMANITY -not just given religions... That is in fact what makes a spiritual LAW, -law. All spiritual laws are applicable to all of humanity. There is no segregation, preference, superior, inferior anybody or any religion... LOVE for example... Love is the greatest example.. Must you be a Christian? Muslim? College graduate? Wealthy person? Dying? Noble? ... Put anything here... LOVE is applicable for all of humanity. Now, I know from my own spiritual meditations and lessons and studies... Well, I know where I'm at... Only another follower/student will understand ... But if you could see a spiritual school the way we can see elementary - middle school - high school through college, etc. -and what lessons you need as a pre-requisite in order to get to the next level... Well I'm currently studying this: perfect love casts out all fears. I will be on this lesson for some unknown amount of time... But I cannot proceed without a deep, deeply rooted understanding of this truth; this SPIRITUAL LAW. I love you! And close with a huge "thank you!" to my family in Seattle... And my handsome prince... I will have to capture those awesome memories in photographs... Amen!