PROUD TO BE ON THE LOSING TEAM!! By (me!) Sandra, tvgp
Now, this proved to be a bit of a dilemma for me: nice person. More importantly, nice female person starting a new business on her own. So, -woman entrepreneur. Automatically I want to congratulate and support her and help spread the word. Until, that is, I learn she's in the "beauty" industry. Has some computer programs that can auto adjust your photos so you look... Well, amazing! And with all the photos we take or have taken of ourselves.. Isn't this appealing. Your profile picture can look.. Well, nothing like you actually look like in person. -and I thought to myself.. There is no way I'm going to do ANYTHING that contributes to losing another entire generation of females to preoccupations with looks & vanity. Not consciously.. I cant do it. We've lost too many already. and I know I'm on the losing team. I know the number of self-conscious females who'd do whatever it takes and pay whatever it costs to look a certain way.. If not in real life, at least in pictures, as compared to self-confident, take me as I am types is about.. I don't know.. 2500 to 1. And my handsome prince is write.. It's a billion dollar industry, "you have to acclimate.". Even still.. I can't do it. Not knowing what I know. Not seeing what I've seen. Not experiencing what I've experienced. I've never been so proud to be on a losing team. I have no desire to switch sides so I can... Not really win, but.. Fall victim. Being on the losing team is winning for someone like me... I have a little personal/secret mantra of sorts I whisper to myself when I think I might be crossing the invisible cultural line between caring about myself enough to look/feel/be my best and falling victim to mass media's chronic MUST look a certain way shock and awe campaign.. "do not feed the bears.". -that's what I remind myself.. And listen.. No one is more aware of the enormous pressure, so forgive me here if I'm critizing YOU.. I do understand if you fell victim/surrendered... But, on every occasion I see for example.. Breast implants.. I think to myself.. She fed the bears. Cosmetic surgeries.. You've fed the bears. When I witnessed a high school girl pay big extra money to have her senior portrait photoshopped as if it were cosmetic surgery.. Literally having her nose, cheeks, etc. Altered.. Thanksgiving feast for the bears. I cannot contribute to the maddness. So, I'm a little torn as you can imagine.. We need women entrepreneurs for sure.. I just wish our focus could be on growing confidence not insecurities. With love, (but no support) a proud non-customer of your services.
posted by SHE @ 9:05 AM
1 Comments:
We women live such complicated lives. We're like other species that preen to get and keep a mate even when we have a mate we want for life. And men are not above this compulsion, either. It's about the primal urge to appear virile, strong, young and popular. It's about survival because in every kingdom, the weak (and we think of age and disability as weakness) and unpopular get eaten. Ironically, while we want to outdo each other, we also want to look like each other because if you're a total misfit in the herd, you are ostracized, which means--you guessed it--you get eaten. People think we've evolved so much, but once again, we see our technology has evolved faster than our biology.
I don't know what to say about how far is too far when it comes to altering our appearance. I DO know graduation pictures that make a person look like someone else are ridiculous. Graduation is a time to be proud of who you are. Why would you want to look like someone else? I think that kind of photography is extreme. I also think the Michael Jackson pattern is extreme as well as dangerous, physically and psychologically.
On the other hand, there are extreme naturalists who don't believe in makeup, hair dye, lotions, etc. Then there are those of us who are in between.
Most of us want to like what we see when we look in the mirror. It's easy to compare ourselves to the unreality of the media and to others who spend hours and hours and dollars and dollars to look "good" in that traditional sense.
Me? I don't want to spend that much money or that much time, but I would like to make some changes. The first change can be accomplished through exercise, if I can find something that doesn't put me in so much pain after and that I make time for. Exercise is healthy, and you can do it in moderation. I refuse to spend hours at a gym.
The second change I can make is to eat healthier and less. This is a challenge because I need to get my anxiety down and pace myself better. We both know how hard that is.
The other stuff? Veins, enlarged pores, little wrinkles, saggy boobs and bald spots? No money to deal with them anyway, so it's not an issue. And if I had the money, you can bet I would go the cheapest way out. Spending tens of thousands of dollars on surgery isn't just feeding the beast--for me personally, it would feel immoral. If I had that kind of money, I could not justify gambling it away on dangerous surgery when I could be using it for something that will last after I die, something to make this world a better place.
Ashes to ashes, baby, dust to dust. And I don't want silicone in my dust.
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