SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

HUGE, GIANT THANK YOU TO JEANNETTE WALLS from (me!) sandra, tvgp

have you read the glass castle? if you haven't, you must. if you have, you will totally understand:

how when i got a last minute call that there was a ticket available to her sold out event at rakestraw books, i did what i needed to make sure i could go

the ticket was $35. i don't have an extra $35 write now, so i called my new hair style person, and cancelled my hair cut. said a quick apology prayer to God, about not being able to put any $ in the offering dish this sunday

then called my sister to see if she could watch my kids

green light. green light. green light. go!

drove to the ladies house in danville who made the whole thing possible and gave my last $35 to her husband -got directions from their house to rakestraw, and started on my way

only when i glanced down at the ticket, it said $7

?

i just gave that man $35!

so raced back up the stairs all concerned...

was reassured that even though the ticket said $7, it was $35 because a signed book was included -somehow they would know-

back on my way then..

and the very nice husband man of the woman who made this all possible even called me on my cell phone in route to correct directions from their house to rakestraw

got it

only when i get to rakestraw books in danville at 6:50pm for the 7pm event to see jeannette walls

it's closed.

no cars filling up the parking lot. lights out in the book store. empty. vacant. very closed.

i look 6 more times at my $7 ticket from the stranger man in danville who is supposedly a kind person and the husband of some woman i talk to over the phone -but definitely don't know

this IS october 21st. ticket says... october 21st.

2009? ticket says... 2009

this IS wednesday.. wednesday, october 21st, 2009

it is at 7pm, write? ticket says.. 7pm

it is at rakestraw books in danville, california, write?

ticket says... and i read real careful, real slow now:

rakestraw books presents
an evening with jeannette walls
in celebration of the publication of
half broke horses

diablo country club
1700 clubhouse rd, diablo

october 21st, 2009 - 7pm

$7.00 - general admission
non-refundable

oh! oh! oh no! oh no!

rakestraw books persents
an evening with jeannette walls
in celebration of the publication of
half broke horses

DIABLO COUNTRY CLUB
1700 CLUBHOUSE RD, DIABLO

october 21st, 2009 - 7pm
$7.00 - general admission
NON REFUNDABLE SO HURRY UP YOU IDIOT!

i have no gps. and by that i mean, i have no gps, as in the gadget many people have in their cars these days that helps them navigate unfamiliar territories

but i also mean i have no gps, as in.. as in that compass many people have in their brains these days that helps them navigate unfamiliar territories

so thanks be to God for the handsome couple that just happen to be walking in front of rakestraw books when i rolled my window down in total disbelief

the couple who confirmed the book store was very closed, but was kind enough to read the sign outside which described the event as being at

and i think they read it on the sandwich board, write about the same time i read it on the ticket

"diablo country club"

and thanks be to God one more time, because it just so happens this couple was MEMBERS OF THE DIABLO COUNTRY CLUB! -and gave me very wonderful, perfect directions (i love you!)

and so i drove the long, dark, curvy, dark, long, road to the diablo country club where my saturn view hybrid waited in line with fancy mercedes, and the likes, for valet parking

oh my

i did not have one penny to tip these valet parker people.. just gave my last $35 cash for the ticket

but wasn't about to turn around, so

"i'm so sorry," i said with a smile, "i am completely unprepared.. i didn't know it was here.. don't have any money to tip you with"

and do you know what he said back? that valet parker person

he said,

"don't worry for a second. we are here for you. just go and have a good time." ( i love you too!)

oh, and my car was a mess.. how embarrassing, really now.

then i get inside this gorgeous, gorgeous building, and see that if i did have some extra money, i would have been able to enjoy some wine and hors' d (oevers) [will check spelling later/you know what i mean]

and maybe purchase some raffle tickets

but oh well

i head inside the room where jeannette walls will be giving her talk

oh my again

chairs lined up for six days across and twelve days forward.. and they were all filled. people everywhere..

if i wanted a seat, i would have ended up on the far, far, write.. in the far, far, back -and so why even be there

i decided instead to stand.

to stand directly in front of the podium, only against the doors in the back. draw a straight line down the middle of the walkway from me to jeannette..

camera ready..

heart settled..

and during the weight.. the wait, i mean, i met the dad, of the owner of rakestraw books and talk to him some about his family... he was going to stand too, instead of sitting in a chair too far away

and then, mike (michael?), the owner of rakestraw, he got up, made some announcements.. and introduced the one, the only..

"one of the greatest, bravest, memoir writers of all time" (that's my intro, not his)

jeannette walls! [applause, applause, more applause]

and didn't she look so beautiful in her black dress, with her long hair and her radiant smile

and as always, i can't repeat her talk, can't reiterate in any way that will do it justice

but i cried

and laughed

and laughed, and cried, and smiled

and listened to every single word; every story.

what a great soul! very evolved.

and i tried to take a picture, but it came out totally BLACK, because i didn't have the lighting i needed

rather than get too sad or frustrated i just turned my camera off, and decided to fully enjoy the actual event -lock it in my memory

soak up the experience with both eyes

and in what felt like 10 minutes, it was over. she thanked everyone graciously, and without any q&a, she was escorted off the stage.

no q&a.

heart bro ken.

but really.. how many times can you listen to people go on and on about how wonderful you are. it must reach its limits

but no personal book signings? no.. no..

no pictures?

none?

it was almost more than i could bare

and asked around a little, and was reminded -told- in authoratative, parental, God-like fashion

"she spent two hours signing books before the program"

"you have a signed book!" [like, shut up, be grateful, go away]

and normally i am grateful for what i get. normally i am empathetic, i understand.. i get it.

and i understand the rule.. what you do for one, you have to do for everyone..

and how it gets all out of control

and how awful it is, how we tax our authors the way we do

how we take, and take.. and how it ends up in book tour burnout..

i get it.

and so heart up from her talk, but shoulders down from the absence of a picture and personally inscribed book

i headed out the door.

and there was a long line of people waiting for the men to return their cars

and so i went back in

and i saw a couple of people talking to jeannette

and my heart jumped -if they can do it, i can do it!-

and so i went next to where she was sitting.. and waited real patient, and mannerly for the woman in front of me to shut up already and get out of my way

and i took a couple pictures of jeannette while i was waiting because the lighting was better

and then, really i can't remember exactly what i babbled

but i know i asked her what the cut off was... like if you read for 100 people, do you personally inscribe books? ... but of course.. it would be asking too much, if there are 500 people..

and as i'm talking, with my book in hand poised for the personal inscription all of me is longing for

her -gate keeper- person

let's call her mrs. meany

she has her feet apart, hands on hips, eyebrows scrunched, and with some kind of miliary boot camp voice says to me -like i'm some kind of high criminal

"SHE IS NOT SIGNING BOOKS! NO PICTURES!"

and at the same time mrs. meany is putting me in my proper place


jeannette is gesturing to me with her hands and eyes to sneak her my book


and so i did

and i said my name.. and showed her my book with my name write there where she could see it, because it was hard to hear [i gave her one of my books.. well, i gave mrs meany my book to give to her, so we don't know, but anyway]


wasn't i the happiest, luckiest person in the entire diablo country club!

and then, exactly because i was in this elated state, i decided to push the envelope a little further and try and get my picture WITH jeannette walls

and thanks be to God and jeannette walls

because even with mrs meany standing write there saying "NO PICTURES!"

she posed with me, and another lady took our picture.

and i know it was selfish.

i was so selfish.

and normally, .. well, you know me by now, don't you

i'm not the elbow my way through the crowds to get what i want kind of person

but if you read the glass castle

and you listened to jeannette walls give her presentation

and you collected personally inscribed books

and had a literary scrapbook on your website

well,

i'll let you decide if she brought out the best in me or not.

late for work. the end. amen.

posted by SHE @ 9:12 AM