My worst day today is a picnic! By (me!) Sandra, tvgp
My handsome prince is not the first or only person to say to me.. /with some combination of irritability and curiosity.."you're happy all the time..". -and how can this be when I'm broke? When there's so much to worry about.. So many potential threats.. I said the same thing to him that I did my other friend.. "..because the 1st part of my life was soooo hellish.. That my worst day today is a picnic by comparison.". And just this morning I watched Joyce Meyer talking with a founder/president of one of the mercy programs.. A place where girls, 13 to 28 years old, I think it was, who have been sexually abused, have eating or cutting disorders, addictions, etc. Can go for help. -walk in the door completely broken.. And with the unconditional love of God at the center.. Come out restored.. Or at the very least, headed in that direction. I've been that broken girl! I never got into cutting, but I had every other disorder, phobia and addiction... I understand how damaged/traumatized humans will do very self-destructive things to avoid... Emotional pain. The distinction, internal experience distinction between physical and emotional pain is -grand. But naturally our goal with either or both.. -is to; "make it go away!". -can someone, anyone.. Can something, any thing.. ANY THING! -make the pain go away. I've written enough about this in prior blogs, so I'm not going to revisit in length. I just want to point out.. How timely it is (it always is) that the book I'm devouring is the true life story of a man who got in a car accident at age 17.. Coma,.. All kinds of physical/mental damage.. Had to "re-learn" everything. Start from scratch.. And I've always used that as an analogy.. In the aftermath of the rape(s).. My physical body could still function.. But I had to "re-learn" everything! About how to function in day to day life.. We had a lot of the same issues.. Brain damage, stuttering, memory problems, ..anyway.. It's a great read! Highly recommend it.. David seymon, reflections of gratitude.. Great poetry! Perfectly woven into the larger story.. Sweet, precious, moments -set backs/victories.. He is a wonderful inspiration.. And I'm going to close with a testimony of a different kind.. It is a short cut I learned in regard to dealing with and healing from emotional pain. I'm not the first to experience or share the truth of this deceivingly simplistic technique.. But it goes like this: when you have been emotionally wounded.. All of our instincts want to -avoid, dodge, go -around, over, under... Anything but -through. It gets internalized, and turns into a self destructive thing... Or externalized, and shape shifts into anger taken out on someone else.. Or it gets buried and exists as a land mine... it seems to me, the heart and mind will team up and do just about anything to avoid it. Preoccupy itself by any manner.. Which is why addictions of one kind or another are so popular.. Addictions are pre-occupying/all consuming... Leave room for little else. Now.. If you are in physical pain.. Make it go away! -write. You don't volunteer to live with it... You deal directly with it. Emotional pain is no different.. You must deal directly with it. So, deceivingly simple but true.. When I've been hurt -emotionally- and I write away acknowledge it.. And say, "this hurts, this hurts, this hurts! It hurts so bad!" and I pray.. Somehow this makes it so that I don't need to pre-occupy myself with any addictions, or numbing behaviors ..it doesn't shape shift into anger, or hide like a land mine.. It still happens now and then.. I get my feelings hurt.. What a challenge to describe! What a challenge to geographically point to.. You can't see where to put the band aid.. But you sure know when it's happened, even if you can't say where.. "you hurt my -feelings!". -sound s a little like being back in kindergarten, doesn't it... But, there's certainly some truth to the famous book title by robert fulghum: All I really need to know I learned in....
posted by SHE @ 9:49 AM
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