SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

MORE PUBLIC THANK YOU'S from (me!) sandra, tvgp

BIG THANK YOU to (my spiritual therapists) KATHY CORDOVA and JIM OTT FROM TV30 -for inviting me back as a guest on their wonderful show, in a word, to talk about my first book: eat write & exercise. (notice i say first, in hopeful anticipation there will be more..)

always appreciate the opportunity and the experience! -you two are awesome hosts! AND.. thanks also to behind the scenes talented/kind people: terisa thurman and (my neighbor!) dar clark who help make the experience a postive one.

wonderful seeing patty powers on the set, and meeting for the first time, mother/daughter:

louise olsen and georgia sheppard

i was allowed in the studio prior to my own interview, (thank you jim!) to watch the taping of the book club discussion portion of the show: hosts jim & kathy with guests patty powers and georgia sheppard to talk about the very popular, my sister's keeper by jody (p)

"remarkable!" was the word that kept coming to mind as i watched georgia, this amazing 13 year old (?) on the set with these three adult professionals (kathy/jim/patty) discussing her understanding/perspectives/opinions about the book. -to see her so comfortable, knowledgable, articulate, composed, beautiful in appearance and spirit and contribution

clearly this is a gift.. one of many God-given gifts bestowed upon her, and it is ALWAYS a pleasure for me to witness people exercising -putting to good use- their gifts & talents.

and in watching her, her ease, her grace.. i re-realized how this is most definitely NOT one of my gifts

i don't say so for sympathy, pity or fishing for words of reassurance. i say so with a relaxed self-confidence; a knowing.

it's true i've made great progress. for my first in a word interview, i was a nervous wreck and spent way too many hours in preparation.. -and for this interview my anxieties were lessened, and my psychological/actual prep time was closer to normal. -plus there were kind things to help any reluctant televised interviewee: i could supply my own questions AND knew the material well, as it was my own book i'd be talking about

but still.. nausea. regret. -all work; such effort. continues to feel like an ob/gyn appointment. i know i should do it. i will do it. but mostly i look foward to having it over with. find myself saying over and over.. before you know it, you'll be on your way back home. it's only 4 minutes.. it's only 4 minutes..

in contrast, when georgia finished taping her portion.. a much longer portion, she said.. and quite honestly/sincerely, "that was fun!"

and so i have decided officially that television, for hosts and/or guests does and should belong to only those people who feel that way.. who think it's fun.

and that's what we should ALL be doing.. learning what it is we find "FUN!" and doing lots of it.

obviously i think writing is FUN. i was not nervous at all mixing/mingling meeting new people at the chamber mixer.. that felt FUN.. i'm looking forward to doing READINGS at various book stores, at amelia's.. that for me is FUN. radio felt FUN

but tv; not so much. i won't analyze it any further.. what is it? the lights.. camera.. time limit.. highly unnatural setting for what they hope will be a natural conversation? the distance between people sitting/talking? all the restrictions/expectations brewing in a tv studio environment

i don't know. i only know that for me, the word FUN does not come to mind.

and if oprah calls, i'll do but dread it.

[ side note for me: learned also georgia has stage experience.. was in the wizard of oz at the bankhead theatre in livermore -which i saw and loved! -and am reminded again how often i learn that great speakers have theatre experience]

but for me.. i'd rather write the play than perform in it. i'd rather edit a tv show than be in it.

LET ME RETURN NOW TO THE MOST IMPORTANT PART:

the in a word show mentioned above wil air on tv30 for all of may 2009:

m-f 6:30a, 1p, 9:30p

sat 9a, 3p, 9:30p

sun 9:30a, 3:30p, 8:30p

AND LET ME ALSO COMPLIMENT the updated tv30 website! for a time it seemed the quality of the website lagged too far behind the high quality of the shows, giving a false impression

now they are equally wonderful; a great match! -continued success to everyone at tv30!

AND EXTRA/MORE THANK YOU'S TO KATHY CORDOVA!

after the show was taped, i went (as has become tradition) to pasta's on main street for a sexy devil chocolatini: my reward for not chickening out! i always reward myself for not chickening out..

and kathy joined me/interviewed me for her next and upcoming book having to do with the 12 elements of passion.. and chasing your dreams in mid and late life

and 1) -she is great company/conversation and 2) honor to be included in this book

based on how much i love and gained from her first one: let go, let miracles happen

i'm excited to delve into the collection of stories, the wisdom, the lessons, the inspiration i know this book will also contain

she interviewed me for her section on authenticity.. not the main story/person on the topic, which belongs to an incredible human being named lawson day, but as a supplement

and it seems worth noting for me personally, that i was completely comfortable with her holding a microphone/tape recorder near my face for this interview.. it was in fact, fun

so now i have the recipe for fun:

outdoors on a gorgeous day at a restaurant on main street, sitting with a good friend, one sexy devil chocolatini, a delicious salad, great questions, no studio/no cameras.. only natural sunshine for light

THANK YOU KATHY CORDOVA!

i wonder, retrospectively, if i'm taking/given too much credit for being an authentic human being. -certainly in part, i have long been (and remain) a student of great sages, humanitarians, poets, -a student of truth in general; inner truth

think often about truth, honesty.. how we all have an inner truth, and whether the outside world, peers/friends/family, etc. know it or not

we know our own inner truths. we know, as individuals whether or not we are honoring our inner truths

and, by design, it seems we are happier/healthier honoring our inner truths than wearing social masks

but in part, my authenticity is born not from studying, learning, growing, trying, honoring, etc.,

but rather from an innate inability to lie or pretend well. i view it sometimes as a great life skill i'm missing.. that perhaps would serve me well in some places of life, if i could employ it correctly

so in my own self-assesment i will take credit for being authentic, find that word a compliment

but in remaining authentic, must confess that it is some portion an effort/evolved from stretching, growing, discovering and fighting to honor my own inner truth against all odds

and some portion just my inability to act; my lack of skill for lying/hiding inner truths that family/friends/peers/society judge unacceptable, controversial, wrong and/or distasteful in any way.

and i laugh here, because in a recent conversation with another friend.. sue~sue

she described how a friend of hers was reading my blog. commented, "she sure shares a lot more than i ever would!"

and sue~sue, who knows me quite well, said, "she just doesn't have an edit button in her brain"

and that's probably closest to my truth.

"to the success of our books! the blessing of our friendship!" much love, ~s.

***

a post script note: i have in the past, always ordered/paid c.o.d. for a dvd of the show i appeared on, and then paid again to have an excerpt placed on my website.

i've been told -as tv30 is under new managment- that while i can still order a dvd, i must pay in advance (which i don't mind at all), but that i cannot make it available for direct upload from my website.. this does not sit well with me. a) i did not know before participating in the show that the policy had changed b) i do not like having my own work/appearances/interviews the sole property of another entity. that feels yucky.

i'm glad to learn and know this now, locally, so i can inquire appropriately & weigh decisions accordingly as my career moves forward.

posted by SHE @ 2:26 PM