SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

BRAIN SPILL by/for me! sandra, tvgp

i thought the order in which i would miss things would look like this: computer, music, tv. but in fact, it was like this: music, computer, tv.

God, did i miss music! so when my alarm went off in the morning, instead of popping up and shutting it off write away, i'd let a couple songs play..


and now i have a deeper appreciation and understanding of that saying, "it was music to my ears"

and my children (thanks john) suprised me with an ipod for christmas and i think this is the greatest, most wonderful-est technology of all time, after the internet and comcast dvr.

first thing this morning: a dance around the house to family affair by the one and only - mary j blige. i always called it "the percolator" song..

but it is so -mandatory dance- it should be prescribed listening for physical therapy patients and could knock a good two weeks off scheduled sessions

and before it slips.. and because it clogs, let me here release a few holiday memories from 2008:

the nutcracker at the bankhead theatre in livermore/awesome/wonderful: tickets thank you to tri valley haven; a christmas carol at the pleasanton playhouse/fantastic/enchanting: tickets thank you to kathy cordova; the most delicious chocoloate chip cookies in the universe, plus sensational peanut brittle & cranberry bread: thank you to (ooga booga friends) virginia and katie; the parade down main street; wintery delicious fun "build-your-own sunday"-sunday thank you to the teeters; grandpa pez as santa at macy's; shopping/dining/visiting/great times thank you to sister & mom; superfranks fun thank you to carla & dominic; wonderful christmas eve/day & huge christmas feast thank you to john & family; every christmas card, picture and letter (i keep them ALL -have for many years.. amazing watching the children grow) thank you to friends old and new; and

AND

hoover, wind tunnel, self-propelled vacuum
inscribed brick at the firehouse art center (scheduled to open 2010) -and where my plays will be performed..
membership with the pleasanton art group
writeousmom.com on truck window
breathing room for christmas shopping in general & two bills paid all THANK YOU TO MY GRANDMA HARRISON ~ we miss and love you! ~



different & missing: our first year not hosting the good neighbor's holiday boutique -but putting an album together of the 8 years we enjoyed this event

and while my mom did host thanksgiving, and have her 25th (?) annual cookie exchange party - i do not attend having learned what a toll it takes on my spirit to be in san leandro. -difficult, and yet, the days pass quickly and i know i am much happier/stronger for making this decision
-and better still, and most importantly.. my mom loves me and understands

and speaking of happier/stronger: i've spent the past couple days prettying this place up and taking LOTS of pictures

confirmed rumor has it, the owner might sell which =

i might have to move. on short notice.

"are you going to cry mommy?" my kids asked me.

"not at all," i said. "i'll be wherever God wants me -but i've never been happier in my life than living here.. "

and then i take more pictures because

"because... you know... when i become famous, they'll want to re-create the living environment where i did my best writing..

where i posted over 600 blogs.. where i woke every morning to read and respond to squidmann.."


and i do have many beautiful fantasies of people -tourists- fellow writers mostly, coming to see what my writing studio looks like..

and they LOVE it..

and a laptop sits open, write here.. write where it is write now.. where i write every morning, and a guest book spot is open on my website and everyone who visits leaves a little note, poem or story.. a few words in the guest book; whatever feels write at the time


and they look real close at my collage(s) of inscribed books.. and my library.. and my ultra cool tao book shelf, my library, my word wall (and of course there is a list of all the different words that have been rotated/featured on my word wall)

my mag time frames hanging here and there -all the family/friend pictures all around

my giraffe collection, my picture of Maya Angelou.. my aunt & uncle's gorgeous pottery.. the handmade blankets i snuggle with..

and it is always kept with fresh flowers and candles -fresh flowers from the farmer's market -held year round only two blocks away- which "she spent $9 every saturday for 3 bouquets she spread throughout the house.. on the tables and in the bathroom"

and the mirrors.. on the closets and in the bathrooms will be decorated and marked up with my kids art work, homework and spontaneous, creative designs.. because "she loved that so much.. "

and they'll have to talk LONG about my neighbor's.. how the reason i was so happy here was because i felt loved and safe.. because moe and his family lived across the street and moe knew everything and everyone.. kept an eye out for us, and plus held the most awesome block parties.. and everyone felt like a friend and was on a first and/or nick name basis: mike on the bike... abe.. dave... olga.. jimmy... dave... lacey.. shelley.. bob... joan.. jody.. karen and more..

and the neighborhood mascots: sadie and jose

and show how we could sit on the curb and feel like we had vip seats for all the parades because they turn from main street on to w. angela and pass write in front of us

and how we could walk -and never worry about parking- for the alameda county fair. and we could ride all the rides, and come back here for lunch.. and walk back and see the concerts..

and how the canada geese flew directly overhead.. and the healing power of the trees

i've always dreamed..

i've dreamed of some magical/miracle happening which allows me to own this place, keep it as a writing, arts/crafts studio and live in a larger place on 2nd street with more room/space for my kids and their friends -but still within walking distance of downtown

the meadowlark dairy, cold stone, amelia's, the farmer's market, concerts in the park, the library, the firehouse art center, towne center books, the restaurants

i do believe in magic and miracles.

but i also believe in pictures and memories.. so i'm taking lots and making many.

2009 arrives with more uncertainty than i've ever experienced at one time: livlihood -no idea. means for income after spousal supports ends - no idea. where we'll live next if we have to move -no idea.

but i'm certainly not alone..

everything and everyone seems to be somewhere within the process of creative destruction

the economy has taken a major hit: people are losing their jobs, leaving their homes.. businesses/restaurants are closing up and down main street

and i don't mean to be an alarmist.. but there's no ignoring these red flags and no painting them a different color

lean times ahead.


lean times ahead but not forever... and that's how i'll close this brain spill

with a spiritual conversation i had with my grandma. "grandma," i ask,

"what would you say.. what would you do if you were here write now?"

and she said (or i projected) "when times improved.. and they did improve..

i would have got my nails painted. red."

because you see my grandma lived through very tough financial times..

very tough.

and she learned how to save, save, save. conserve, conserve, conserve. stretch every dollar. recycle. reuse. and re-purpose everything before the term re-purpose was invented

but when financial times improved -and they did improve-

she never altered her ultra-conservative ways. -and it absolutely shocked her to no end when my sister and i were visiting her in san diego and we each spent $10 on a manicure

she could not imagine a greater waste of money

but we could not imagine anything better you could get for only $10

because a manicure not only made your hands look really beautiful because of the pretty, shiny color on your nails, but the manicures also included a MASSAGE

a long, wonderful, hand and forearm massage, PLUS moisturizers on your skin, PLUS three layers of polish: base coat, pretty color of your choice, and top coat

and it could last for like, up to, 5 or 6 days

so if you take 10 fingers, times 5 or 6 days, and divide that by $10

WHAT A BARGAIN!!

but my grandma.. even when it was well within her budget to do so, never treated herself to a manicure or pedicure

and what she'd like to share with all of us, is this:

lean times are ahead.

but they won't last forever.

and when times improve.

and they WILL improve.

-go get your nails painted; red.

posted by SHE @ 7:39 AM