TV30'S IN A WORD DEBRIEFING by (me!) sandra, tvgp
dear children, -when you go out into the world and try your best, but fall short of your own expectations, do this:
give yourself credit for trying your best. see what you can learn.
this was not my shining moment on tv30. -my 5th and worse appearance; however
i did not chicken out. i give myself points for not chickening out. and here's what i learned:
i learned i do much better when i have the questions in advance and can write out my thoughts/answers. televised spontaneity is not one of my gifts. now we know.
***
that said.. always a pleasure to be with jim ott & kathy cordova.. and wonderful getting together and sharing this experience with gail johnston. it went by very fast, as it always does, and it always feels as if more could have been said.. ( on my part, more said, and in a much better/ more organized way)
and quite fun afterwards, as seen here
jim ott had to leave, but kathy cordova treated gail and i to two very special things: a ride in her new, gorgeous bmw convertible AND lunch at where else?
AMELIA'S ~the people's choice!~
THANK YOU KATHY
& THANK YOU JIM (you two are like my spiritual therapists.. i'm so grateful for these opportunities to try & grow)
thanks dar, terisa.. people behind the scenes at tv30.
***
and worth re-mentioning my WRITTEN review of the social cause diet is available at amazon.com. -that's what i meant to say.
and lastly.. what a thing to learn also.. how all these years later.. many years..
over 20 years later, sometimes the emotion of being a rape survivor is raw again, as if no healing has taken place. but in fact, i know raw emotion is a positive phase of healing; it's shock, then numbness before that.
better to feel overwhelmed i think, than not to feel at all. this thought helps me accept/move on from what happened today.
***
success/prayers for each and everyone of you in your upcoming writing/creative/entrepreneurial adventures
love, ~s.
posted by SHE @ 1:53 PM
5 Comments:
Dear readers of Sandra's blog:
This post says something about Sandra's appearance on In A Word not being her best. I disagree, and I would know, because I was sitting a few feet away from her when she appeared on the TV show.
I've hosted this show for quite a few years, and trust me, I've seen my share of mishaps and stumbles on air. Sandra was stellar, as she always is, and once she sees the episode she'll say to herself, "Oh, I was actually pretty good. Jim was right."
Why Sandra feels her appearance was off is because she and Gail Johnston spoke for a moment about how they met, then realized it didn't matter. What tooks seconds seemed to them like five minutes.
But mainly I think Sandra felt off because as she spoke about a moment with her daughter whom she loves so very much, she got a little emotional, and that threw her. Viewers will be captivated by this moment and all she had to say about it, but she lost control for just a moment, and in this suddenly very subjective moment she felt inarticulate and unprepared. Add to this a little pressure at the end because we were down to final seconds as she was speaking, and her sense of how she was doing crashed.
The reality is she was articulate and awesome and did a great job recapping the essay that she contributed to The Social Cause Diet, as well as contributing to the rest of the segment. I wish I could have gone to lunch to reassure her a few more times.
Jim Ott
Co-Host of TV30's "In a Word."
Well said, Jim! And I quite agree!
Sandra is always articulate, insightful, and passionate, and today was no exception. When Sandra was talking about her (wonderful, I LOVED it!) story in the book, it was a very genuine and emotionally compelling moment. I was very moved and I'm sure the viewers will be, too.
Lunch was fun! Great getting to know you and Gail a little better and interesting talking about writing, publishing, and more.
Looking forward to your next appearance!
Love,
Kathy
Being on camera makes me crazy nervous and I'm an actress! I think there's just something about a camera that does that. But I'm agreeing with Jim, even though I didn't see it, I think you were stellar. :)
I started group counseling for rape survivors at the local Crisis Center last week. Probably going to start individual counseling with them too. 6 years later and it's still like you said, raw emotion coming up in the unlikeliest of places.
I am going to check out your review on Amazon of this book!
Much love, sis. :)
ren man/dd: you are the best kind of friends to have.. thank you for your understanding & reassurance
if i had the opportunity for a do-over, i would jump at it, but know do-overs are not always possible
so choosing acceptance and moving on..
plus, very small part of a much bigger and quite wonderful show. looking forward to seeing in a word in its entirety next month
and every month, as i have for several years now
and p.s. dd: great article in bay woof ~congratulations
and looking forward to checking out what's new at onlywordscansay.blogspot...
love & thanks -you are awesome hosts AND friends, ~s.
karma: it is the strangest and most fascinating thing, how a lens/camera can alter our states of mind; inhibit our natural way of being. i hate it. i don't entirely understand the why behind it
but many actresses like yourself have conquered this awkwardness and/or perform with passion and co-exist with it.. so no slowing you down, i'm sure. human spirit over-rides these silly things. i love experiencing and witnessing that
and hugs/love congrats to you for joining this support group. we benefit a great deal from sharing our experiences with others who are compassionate & understanding
and from my perspective, 6 years is a short time.. the healing process is long and layered, but wonderful i can share that lots of great things in life happen during the healing.. i've been very proactive about making sure that's true
that is one of my pieces of big-sister advice.. create many good times/experiences for yourself
and lastly.. thank you! -my written review is true to how i feel about the social cause diet. it is an exceptional anthology/very inspiring
much love, ~s.
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