Sunday, December 07, 2008

TESTING, TESTING 1, 2, 3... by (me!) sandra, tvgp


-k-


so i was reading SCOTT ADAM'S BLOG


... SCOTT ADAM'S... creator of DILBERT.. who wrote


"About a year ago I started using Google Alerts to tell me whenever someone mentioned Dilbert, me, or anything about Spasmodic Dysphonia on the Internet"


-and i'm the kinda person who has to test these things out, so


just in case it really works:


"hi scott! LOVE YOUR BLOG and very happy to learn your surgery went well. i was praying for you."


i'm apparently programmed that way.. (that's a little moist robot joke for those of you who haven't yet read his books or blog)


anyway.. "remember me?" oh, i wouldn't do that to you. i know you meet too many people to remember me -personally- but we do live in the same town, and


i did have the great pleasure of meeting you several years ago when i had my heart set on becoming a famous, syndicated cartoonist for the arts n' crafts industry


and the very fact i have to re-introduce myself, let's you know how well that dream went down; the drain.


but i have a picture.. somewhere?


of the three of us: me and my sandyland comic strip artist/illustrator friend nancy eddinger. hey..


i wonder if NANCY EDDINGER uses google alerts?


"hi nancy! -just saw a nice picture/write up of you in the independent. way to go artist friend!"

anyway.. let me see if i can go find that picture. it shouldn't take too long..


(and now that's silly isn't it.. because by the time, and IF you are reading this, the picture will already be here, and you'll have no way of knowing how long it took me to find it..


there's no need here for you to fake patience.. isn't that wonderful!


OR for me to worry about how long it is taking me.. i fall all apart if i feel like i'm keeping someone too long -especially a celebrity. -family.. they understand sometimes. but customers in line at amelia's.. or strangers in line for the bathroom..


i'm hyper-conscientious. one time.. i was so worried about the next person in line for the bathroom that i didn't finish going.. i only went half way.. then stood back in line so i could finish without making anyone else wait.


but now.. i'm not just tellin' stories to pass time while i hunt for this picture

let me make it perfectly clear: -because i just put on your tennis shoes in my imagination and realized how awful that would feel, if things were reversed


if - i - was the genius/celebrity/cartoonist/author guy and you were the wanna-but-not-gonna-be-syndicated-cartoonist


and you said, "i have a picture of us!" -all excited, but then it took, like, over three hours for you to find it


how important would that make me feel then?


so MAYBE


maybe..





maybe i know WRITE where that picture is. maybe i found it in under one second! but i'm only pretending it took three hours to spare myself any embarrassment ~ so you don't know, for example, that i had it turned into a poster and it's hanging in my bedroom and i fall asleep every night reading your books and staring into your eyes


all broken hearted that you got married.


i wonder now


what you are programmed to believe?


anyway..


i've not given up on my dream(s), (or finding this picture) although they do change form


so instead of becoming a famous syndicated cartoonist for the arts/crafts industry (which is wildly corrupt by the way)


i've decided to become a famous american writer


then i can tell my stories about my experiences in the corrupt arts/craft industry, and use my comic panels inside.


they WILL NOT go to waste i promise me!


(looking for picture.. scanning.. opening folders..)





"so.. anyway.. how have you been? remember reading you got a puppy.. hilarious, by the way.. great posts!...


can i get you some coffee..


(.. what flippin' year was it?!)




"oh! and guess what.. we had our book release party at your restaurant.. stacey's in dublin..


-gorgeous.. gorgeous place you have there..




didn't have a chance to eat.. "




(oh! now that's even worse than hunting for the picture!)





THAT TIME. but i've eaten there before.. DELICIOUS! GREAT FOOD! oh! and the cosmopolitans..









"HERE IT IS!! I FOUND IT!!" (thank God!)










"remember me?"

oh wait. i'm sorry. that's billy collins isn't it.



hey.. i wonder if BILLY COLLINS uses google alerts?



"hi billy! remember me? we met at the pleasanton poetry, prose & art festival..




you are HILARIOUS! my poetry will never be the same.. always under your influence


come back to pleasanton any time ~ we love you here! ~




(-k- no.. that's jim.. ray...

-from when i was going to be a famous journalist.. no..

from when i was going to be a famous speaker.. no.. no..




"HERE IT IS!" "ALL HOPE LOST FILE/syndicated cartoonist"



"remember me now?"


"i'm the beautiful blond in the red jacket."


























5 Comments:

At 10:41 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

--then i can tell my stories about my experiences in the corrupt arts/craft industry, and use my comic panels inside--

LOL LOL!! That would make a great topic, so esoteric!

I forward my daily Dilbert to my brother every day. Does that count? If you cut and paste Dilbert a hundred times in a posting, maybe that will work!

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger SHE said...

kmg/bbf: you get dilbert daily too!? -how fun to learn

and pass it on to your brother..
- way cool -

there are two things i think would be almost impossible to calculate or measure:

how many lives oprah has positively influenced with her television show

and how many lives scott adams has positively influenced with his comic strip

hey..

i wonder if OPRAH WINFREY uses google alerts..



love n' laughter to you & yours! ~s.

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

Actually, I signed up for Dilbert because YOU posted about Scott's blog! LOL!

Don't know about Oprah, but here's help for you....

Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert
Scott Adams Dilbert

 
At 11:41 AM, Blogger SHE said...

kmg/bbf: i've always said leonard stegmann is my best friend in the whole wide cyber world

but i think it's you really

-best laugh of the day-

which is really saying something, because only moments ago my director friend, lisa cambra

hey.. i wonder if ELESIA CAMBRA uses google alerts?

"hi goddess of everything!"

well, anyway..

she put "prophylactic" where "prosthetic" was meant to go,

and that was pretty funny too.

"to GOOGLE! and LAUGH ALERTS!"

love all around, ~s.

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger Katherine said...

LOLOLOLOL! I bet she got LOTS of alerts for that one!!

Love to you, my friend!

 

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