SECRET PHEROMONE SAUCE by (me!) sandra, ttgp
i think -well, maybe not today, but by this time next week it should be safe to return to my local coffee shop -long as i keep a low profile and my mouth shut. ~honestly.
without any warning whatsoever do you know what i said?
"are you aware you are driving all the women in this area wild?"
and how is ANYONE supposed to respond to such a statement. what a horrific position to put anyone in.. i would die if anything like that came my way, and yet i give it out like who cares
and with the -THE- most innocent, completely caught off guard, slightly embarrassed, and utterly charming half smile, he says "no." -genuine and everything-
almost had to take him home.
but write or wrong, i did speak the truth. the entire clientele has shifted since his arrival.. more females.. of all ages... and then from one visit to the next.. more attractive females. each week it seems they put on a little more makeup, cuter clothes, lower cut t-shirts, pretty summer dresses. stay longer. linger.
one of my mom friends confessed to me.. she said, "sandra, i dream of pulling my car up to the corner here, opening the door.. do you think he would drive away with me?" -and then i lost her for almost a minute to a lovely day dream where i could tell /he did.
and i sent my sister over, "check this out.. everyone's going all weak in the knees," i told her. and when she came back with a cup of coffee she had no intention of drinking, she whispered to me, "thank you"
and another of my friends was only at the counter 3 seconds, but she reported back to me,
"-something very physiological just happened" -and there emerged a mysterious smile on her face.
i'm the only one who knows the truth.
because i watch charlie rose, and the discovery channel, and ted.com, and have listened to i don't know how many interviews with leading scientists and cia agents and stuff like that
i've read a lot of books.
"he's a plant," i keep telling everyone. "he's a science experiment and we are the guinea pigs.
i'm certain of it! he's tainted.. all washed in some kind of pheromones. he's bait, i'm tellin' ya.. bait."
they just laugh, like ~wild imagination sandra~ that's funny, ha ha.
but i am dead serious.
and so i watch with great fascination, and before i opened my big fat loose mouth forcing me to take immediate customer leave of absence, i found the hidden camera and looked directly at it and mouthed quietly
it's working. whatever you are doing.. it works.
and that got me to thinkin' how unfortunate it might be if someone fell for you -but only because you were wearing some secret pheromone sauce
and then what? -after its licked all gone- then what?
i'm very curious about these things..
posted by SHE @ 8:12 AM
6 Comments:
i want to know what coffee shop you frequent!
love your post
This post is fascinating....I want to meet this guy and trade barista tips! And check out the pheremones. ;) I got the frame and I LOVE it!!!! Thank you so much!!! It's really an ingenious idea. Much love, bloggy sis!
kelly: thanks friend, and i'll give you three clues
corner
downtown
not tully's
~see ya there ")
karma: once i have recovered and am ready to humiliate myself again, maybe i can get his picture..
and
phone number
and
email
and
address...
and so glad your frame/kit arrived.. THANK YOU! blog sister.. because every person participating in the vagina monologues is contributing to such a worthy, good and necessary world-wide awakening
-magnificent use of your talent!
much love write back to you!
I'm fantasizin' -- how many of us would give our right arm (okay, in my case the left arm) to hear a beautiful man say "don't you know you're driving all the men in here crazy ..." ahhhh
I think a trip to downtown Ptown is in order :-)
cfl: -we're do for a coffee/conversation date aren't we?
let me know what morning works...
off now to charge my battery
(for my camera.. yeah)
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