Friday, June 04, 2021

This is my new jam! (me!) ~tops #213 @writeousmom


/i can already see both my children shaking their heads "NO!" at the title of my post.

like, after listening to Joss Stone on repeat many years ago, one time, after dropping off my children, i said, "k,  -see you back at the crib"

" -don't ever say that again..   like, ever.."

or when i referred to my WriteousMom-mobile as WriteousMutha

sometimes they vocalized their protest, but often, it was (is) just this look..

i'd give anything if i had a picture of their expressions

their eyes said, -don't ever.  not even as a joke or just for fun..  we will disown you.

***

but i don't think rappers should have all the fun, know what i mean..

***

"speaking of!"

***

i still do not have a complete grasp or even a tiny understanding of how/when that toggle switch inside me works..     the one that toggles between saying things out loud, or just thinking them..

fascinating device; mysterious!

like, just yesterday i was in the limelight  (my neon green jeep) all by myself, and had the radio on 102.9

/i'm a little bit country, and a little bit rock n' roll
i'm a lotta bit Christian, and a lotta bit R&B soul

anyway, i'm listening to this song, and like the beat is speaking directly to the dancer in me.. and i'm groovin' in the driver seat, and listening.. and my toggle switch went to OUT LOUD even though there was no one in the passenger seat

"they just sang my lucky number!  did you hear that?    -two one three..."

and i ached for a second because no one but me did hear it..    and i listened closer to every word of the song, waiting to see if they would repeat it, like a chorus..    

it's a pretty cool jam..   but, 

it inspires me to want to hire myself out as a...     rapper lyrics translator!    -from secular/street language to Christian!

and strange, because it is my current belief and understanding that God can hear my thoughts as clearly as he hears my voice, so, but

toggle switched back over to silent/ just thoughts:   maybe i'll get to meet these famous american rappers, and dance in one of their videos!   [think here of Dr Maya Angleou & Tupac Shakur]

that's another fascinating~mysterious toggle/dimmer mechanism inside me..   like, how do we distinguish between,   -fantasy..   delusion...  big dream...  pipe dream...  imagination...  destiny...  premonition... calling...    

based on current definitions   -for a certain % of the population; delusions of grandeur were in fact, destiny/premonitions/callings..        -and they obtain very real wealth, power, intelligence...

maybe it has to do with timing...    if you already have achieved wealth, power, intelligence..  vs.  if it looks very likely that you will one day..    vs.  there is no outward sign that you will ever even come close..

but, do you know how many times, how many people..   -you cannot count, or calculate the number of people who showed no outward sign of...        but God!

so anyway..

label it whatever way you wish based on your current lack or level of knowledge

my imagination has been on fire!   when i did the post about me, my mom, my daughter being lancome supermodels   -i was like,  yes!  why not?!?    they need generational supermodels...   and if it doesn't happen..  i don't want it to be because i didn't ask or imagine..

when i   -for free-   translated lyrics for too short..  from street/rapper to Christian..   we should meet!  i will make you laugh and smile..   you're gonna want me in your video.. i can dance!

 yes..

why shouldn't martha stewart want to meet me..   showcase mag time frames..  introduce me to snoop dog... warren g  "two one three...    lucky (me!)...

why shouldn't oprah have me on her show to talk about kissin' the chocolate blues..  

           "why shouldn't she produce it!....   "

truth be told..   i'm not certain what is delusion, imagination, premonition, fantasy..

but i do give myself; my mind permission to dream, think, imagine..   and i am enormously grateful, that after so many years battling PTSD, 

i am healthy, happy and secure enough to let my mind a'wonder...

Glory be to God!   hallelujah & "amen today"     

posted by SANDRA HARRISON KAY @ 11:03 AM

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