Thursday, November 26, 2015

Theres too little, because youre too late.. by (me!) sandra, tvgp

it is difficult for me to make the distinction sometimes between which men are flirty in general, with everyone, which men are just talkative, and which men are directly flirting specifically with (me!).

so, i found it helpful when he said to me, "i am flirting with you, you know..  ".   -but then the question surfaced in me..  -and with how many other women are you flirting?

-which, I have learned over time, and more error than trial, is not a question you should ever bother to actually ask out loud. 

but he had brought me fresh baked pumpkin bread..    -which I originally contributed to general kindness...

and about a week or so later, -dark chocolate covered espresso beans..   

but gift giving and flirting are both..  what?  in the very nature of the personality sometimes; and sometimes...

well, on the next visit in the store he said, ".. so when are you going to give me something? i brought you pumpkin bread and ..."

and i said, "oh. i did not realize there were strings attached"

which brings me to yet another difficult distinction to make..  when is a gift a gift? vs. when it comes with an invisible string vs. when..

and then, after i saw the confusion in his eyes i said.." oh! you would like for me to reciprocate your generosity... "

and he said, "yeah..  


Ive been out of the dating loop too long and have forgotten all the rules.   in my almost 10 years post divorce; two temporary relationships of any significance.    and I can tell you now,

with a certainty only 20/20 hind-hearing yields; the very sentence within longer conversations that lit the flashing neon exit sign i ignored in both temporary relationships.   -yes,

a girl walks in a bar...   and there are two doors near the back.  one reads: exit.   -the other: enter at your own risk & peril.

-the girl ends up the punchline.    -because she walked into the bar..

get it?   -anyway..

i have a new strategy..  its called slowing down and paying more attention.   and so when the conversation continued, he graduated from flirting, to directly asking me out.   and i have just enough politician in me, that i successfully dodged the question by changing the subject..  

and we talked some more.   -and as we talked some more, two very important topics came up.   he mentioned being divorced and..

/only people who know me well will appreciate this:

and missing having someone provide a warm home cooked meal.




and also, -during a longer conversation, he asked about my parents..  and when the topic of my dad came up, with great love and candor I said..  "My dad is a great dad! but a yucky husband.. I couldn't be married to someone like him for 5 minutes.."

and went on to explain this is true because my dad has a womanizers personality.   and his initial response was,  ".. yeah, but is he faithful?".  



because write away this indicates he falls in the category of men who believe you can look, check out, comment, and sexually objectify women at your will,  and its all okay as long as you don't act on it..

which is apparently the camp my dad went to..

and some women learn to tolerate...  as we can see by the fact my dad is married..   and some women will not.

like (Me!).   -I have a zero tolerance policy.   and if that equates to remaining single.   single I will happily remain!

and, but then as the conversation continued he said, " do I have a womanizers personality?"

and I said, "I do not know you well enough..."

and we talked a little more, and he said, "I'm gonna keep on coming back and one day you're going to go out with me."

and I just smiled and said goodbye.    And as the day went on, I thought..   it is probably not a good sign if you have to ask whether or not you have a womanizer's personality.


but, turns out my mom had just made some of her amazingly moist and delicious pumpkin-date bread, and so, I cut it in two and

I did originally plan to save half for my future non-date to 'reciprocate his generosity'

..but ...   as I mentioned,    -it was so moist and delicious...!


so, see...   i spared you the expensive steak dinner

and more importantly, I spared you one of my warm home cooked meals, because I don't even make those...


if you are looking for a domestic,  -carry on..

if you are looking for a...   pet! yes..   a pet.   -that's more (me!)

do you have a pet?  -that you love and adore and walk and feed and talk to all sweet and that you snuggle..   and who does not contribute to the household income, or do chores.. or cook or clean..

but a pet who you take to the doctors if ill ....

and who you bring gifts and toys to...   even though they do not contribute to the income.. 

a pet who sometimes makes a big mess, and you just shake your head and clean it up...   and think maybe you are to blame for being away too long..

that's (me!).      pick a door:    EXIT.     ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK & PERIL.


isn't real life so romantic...


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