SHEsaysWITHaSMILE.blogspot.com

how God works... according to (me!) sandra, tvgp #selfportrait

it might at first take appear as if God is cruel..   having Steve Martin

-yes THE Steve Martin

visit Ricks Picks..   

"On my day off?!?!?!....  really Jesus?!?!   ...after all ive neglected to do for you..."

but then.. i realize God is full of love and mercy and tends to know what is really in my best interest vs. what i think is in my best interest.   the battle is flesh vs. spirit..

-and

well let's take a closer look at what would have happened if i was working instead of Julie when THE Steve Martin casually and  innocently visited Ricks Picks..

"                                "

-because God knows how when i get nervous and excited all kinds of things will race through my brain to say, but -something prevents them from actually coming out of my mouth.

so see, God spared me the humiliating aftermath where i would have been unable to serve customers because i was preoccupied with how stupid i am..

also, im quite certain, i would have gestured, via arms, hands and running down main street in the opposite direction

that i wanted to "hurry, quick, -before you leave.. it will just take a sec..  i'll be write back...".  -buy his book from Judy at towne center books and have him autograph it and us take

" just one!  I promise...". picture together to add to my autograph book collection and literary scrapbook..

but when you can't speak..   running down main street with your arms waving all around might not translate well.. 

then!  how traumatic would that be.. to be at the register with his book..  my one and only shot at getting an autograph and picture

but my bank card gets declined.   -frickin' I.R.S.

that's one thing to take my grocery and gas and rent money..

but my autographed book?!?   -now you really crossed the line!

anyway..

none of that actually happened.

well, the I.R.S. really did take my money..   but! i mean,

none of the potentially humiliating things happened that would have happened if i was working instead of Julie.

also, i know, i know, i know, i would have been tempted beyond what i could handle to give The Steve Martin a copy of my self-portrait poem, because in it i reference the Shop Girl..

and not because i like to wear long black gloves..

and! i would have wanted to tell him,   -despite a long line at the register, -i mean, "please customers can't that wait til tomorrow? i am talking to STEVE MARTIN.."

i would have wanted to tell him that The Jerk is my favorite comedy of all time.. and how the whole reason I couldn't wait for my daughter to grow up.. was not to see her become a contributing member of our society; -but because I couldn't wait to watch The Jerk with her..

and then, how when we finally did watch it together when she was a teenager

-how she laughed too loud and readily at the sex jokes..

and then, well I suddenly didn't like that movie so much anymore..  and vowed never to watch it with my son.

but that too would have come out like this:

"                  "

and sometimes when the words don't come out of my mouth, my arms flap.   it is not good.

anyway.. and i would have wanted to tell him, how.. i love my charlie rose.. and have watched a gazillion interviews.. and out of those gazillion..

his interview is one of the very -very!- best..    -ever!

and..

if i would have been not working while he was there,

i would have wanted to show him the panel cartoon caption my daughter came up with for The New Yorker magazine..

I would have really, really! wanted to know... -off the record, of course..

if he was ever the true author of those..   if he was the anonymous ghost writer of some of those humor pieces under..   /name I can't remember..  In new yorker magazine...

and then! my God.. who wouldn't want to visit studio 7 with STEVE MARTIN! and ask him to think out loud as he looks at the art..

please.

I would not hesitate to turn off the Pandora, turn off the lights, turn the OPEN sign over to "NOT SORRY/CLOSED for the day..  I'm giving STEVE MARTIN a tour of downtown pleasanton..

and then Ricks Picks would have missed out on like 3 or 4 furniture sales.  

-that's what would have happened if I was (not) working instead of Julie.

...but for the grace of God..

and the store would need to be closed for maybe two days.. because we haven't even covered his play..  and i would want to tell him about Kissin The Chocolate Blues..

and.. about his music! how he taught himself by listening cord by cord.. to play the banjo..  and how " my moms dad was self taught on the banjo too!"

and I would want to tell him about my brother.. also a huge fan.. also a self taught musician.. and! really..  "My brothers comedic commentary during your movies..  elevates them another 3 notches..  turns a giggle into a laugh-so-hard-you-cry kind of thing.."

oh! there's so much..  so much..

but he has come and gone..   and none of this happened..   not the leaping into his arms and wrapping my legs around him and giving him a big kiss..

not the charades race to towne center books

not the autograph; not the picture

not the visit to studio 7; not the tour of downtown

not the visit to my moms, or call to my brother

not the poem, or the book, or the cartoon..

not the closing of Ricks Picks..

only the I.R.S. got what they wanted.

yes.. 

God is full of love & mercy.  my flesh was torn, my spirit was saved and Steve Martin was spared 

"                  "

  ~nothing.

posted by SHE @ 9:57 AM